


The Thorn between Two Roses

by Benwilson



Category: Glee
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Other, Rewrite
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-26
Updated: 2013-08-16
Packaged: 2017-12-21 11:28:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 24
Words: 79,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/899767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Benwilson/pseuds/Benwilson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When they were all children, Noah Puckerman, Rachel Berry and Kurt Hummel became friends. And all their lives changed as a result.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Season One: Episodes 1 - 13

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everybody. This was my NaNoWriMo this month, and I have finished the first story, and am halfway through the next section, which covers Season 3.
> 
> This story covers Season One briefly (The first two chapters are additional scenes or altered scenes, but pretty much all the canon plots occured), and Season 2 in more depth.
> 
> I hope you enjoy, and if there's any questions, or you don't think something was explained well enough, drop me a comment!

_** Season One: Episodes 1 - 13 ** _

 

**Pre-Show :-: The point of Divergence**

 

"Just sit down here, next to Rachel." 

 

Noah pouted, as he shuffled past Rachel and her dads. His Grandma always said he only had to come to temple once a week, to be a good Jew. Usually he just spent time with Rachel, because she was really pretty and the older people didn't like to sit near her because of her dads. But now someone else was going to sit with her. If he was alone, he'd have probably thrown a temper tantrum, but Nana said this place was 'sacred'. 

 

"Noah? Are you sitting with us today?" Hiram asked him quietly, laying a hand on Noah's shoulder. 

 

"Isn't Rachel's friend?" Noah huffed, crossing his arms.

 

"Kurt's just having a little bit of trouble." Hiram said gently. "If you're nice to him, you can still sit with us."

 

"I can be nice. Nana says I have to be nice in temple." Noah assured quickly, turning around to see Rachel. "Hi, Rachel!"

 

"Hi Noah." Rachel said distractedly, as she dabbed at her friends face. "Kurt, you really should let my daddy's do something."

 

"It'd only make it worse." The friend, Kurt apparently, whispered. "My dad's still upset after mom went away." 

 

"Your father would want to know." Leroy said quietly, patting Kurt's head. "He would want you to be happy."

 

"I can deal with it." Kurt shook his head. "Where are we?" 

 

"This is our temple. It's like a church, but for Jewish people." Hiram said. "Now... You need to be quiet now. If you get bored you can read my book."

 

Kurt shook his head. "I can listen good. I like to listen." 

 

Noah snorted. He could listen good too, and he still got bored. Rachel glared at him for a second before she took Kurt's hand in hers and turned to the front. 

 

The whole thing was over quickly, and people were streaming out, but Hiram and Rachel were still sat with Kurt. Puck moved so he could lean over the seats, to get a better look. "You're pretty." Noah said after a moment, taking in the other boy. "But why're you hurt?"

 

Kurt looked up, frowning a little. "There were some boys. They don't like me."

 

"Why not?" Noah asked, frowning back.

 

"Because I like girly things." Kurt huffed, crossing his arms. "Are you going to hit me too?"

 

"No." Noah said, looking away. "I won't hit you."

 

"Noah, what did I say about wearing clothes like that to temple." His aunt said, stopping at the seats and pointedly ignored Hiram and Leroy. "You should show more respect."

 

Noah was torn. He wanted to shout at his aunt, because she was always mean to Hiram and Leroy, and told him he wasn't being a good boy, but he wasn't allowed to be mean. "Yes, Auntie Sally."

 

"I could help you get something." Kurt said quietly, trying to shrink into his seat. "To say thank you for keeping me company."

 

"And who's your new friend?" Aunt Sally turned to Kurt, smiling widely.

 

"Kurt Hummel." The boy said, forcing a smile and sitting more upright offering his hand to shake.

 

"Oh." Aunt Sally paused, glancing at Kurt as if she was placing the name in her mind, before looking at Leroy and Hiram. "Well, I'll see you next week, Noah."

 

Noah nodded and watched her leave before grinning at Kurt. "I don't think she likes you."

 

"Sorry." Kurt whispered, his eyes tearing up.

 

"It's good. I don't like Auntie Sally. She's a bit- She's a bad person." Noah said, catching himself before he spoke.

 

"Your aunt isn't a bad person, she's just small minded." Leroy said quickly. "But... She is right, Noah. Don't you have any nicer clothes?"

 

"I.... My mom doesn't have the money." Noah said quietly, ducking his head.

 

"I have some clothes." Kurt said quietly. "My dad takes me shopping when I get sad."

 

"One day, that'll come back to bite him in the ass." Hiram hummed to Leroy, watching his partner grin even though he didn't want to. 

 

"I couldn't take your stuff." Noah said quietly.

 

"Yes you could. It doesn't suit me anyway." Kurt huffed, lifting his gaze to Noah's again, with a very particular expression. Noah had seen that kind of look on Rachel's face before, right before she would drag him to her house and make him watch musicals.

 

"I'd do something to make it up to you." Noah said, nodding his head. "I'll.... I'll be your bodyguard!"

 

"You wouldn't want that." Kurt said, trying to smile, but wincing. "I need protecting a lot."

 

"Then maybe you can help Noah dress better and act better, in general." Rachel said, grinning. "And Noah can protect you. And we can all hang out together. My daddy has been showing me how to make cookies, and..."

 

Kurt was listening to Rachel with what seemed like rapt attention as she moved from explaining cookies, to a tv show she watched, to the life story of a broadway actress. Noah almost tuned out, before Kurt looked at him and grinned. Noah couldn't help but grin back.

 

 

 

* * *

  

 

**(Pilot)**

 

 

"Hey, Kurt, Making friends?" Mr Shuester asked, as he walked past Kurt and Puck by the bins.

 

"Not making, this is Noah. He's one of my oldest and closest friends." Kurt called back, but Mr. Shue was barely listening as he caried on. "Well, it was worth a shot."

 

"Why do I feel like I was just played?" Puck smirked, leaning against the paper bin. "Wanna explain, Hummel?"

 

"We both love Rachel to pieces." Kurt said, rolling his eyes, "But she is the most notable member of the previous Glee Club. She's going to stand out in Mr. Shuester's eyes for his new club, so... I wanted a little something to make me interesting."

 

"So, the fact that you can twirl knives..."

 

"Sais."

 

"... Put together a costume from just a heap of old clothes..."

 

"I want to be a performer, not a tailor."

 

"...and are the most popular gay kid in school."

 

"And the most unpopular, since I'm the only one." 

 

"Is not enough to make you interesting?" Puck finished, raising his eyebrow at Kurt's antics. "Seriously, dude?"

 

"What have I told you about calling me dude? I am not one of your football buddies, Noah." Kurt huffed, glaring at him.

 

"Not for lack of me trying." Puck pushed off the bins, and the two started walking into the school. "You've got a hell of a leg on you, dude."

 

"Compared to the current kicker? Miss Pillsbury is a good kicker." 

 

Puck chuckled, "I bet if Finn asked..."

 

"You shut your mouth right this second, Noah Puckerman." Kurt hissed, stabbing Puck in the chest with his finger. "You are not to say a word to Finn Hudson or anyone about..."

 

"Hey, Finn!" Puck shouted, waving down the corridor. Finn waved back, grinning as he walked towards them. Kurt blushed to the tip of his hair, and with a short jab at Puck's chest, stormed away.

 

Noah watched him walk away with a fond grin, before he ducked out of sight of his 'best friend'. It wasn't like he had to avoid him, but Kurt had been bugging him about this whole morality thing. And what he did with Quinn Fabray? Was definitely not a moral thing.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

**(Showmance)**

 

"You realise how ridiculous you looked, right?" Puck snorted as he lounged on Rachel's bed. "Like seriously. Both of you. That wasn't even in the same ball park as Sexy."

 

"Yes, our innate lack of sexiness has been noted, Noah." Kurt hummed, as he flipped through one of Rachel's song books, on his back, with his feet up on the bed. "If we'd stuck with the original plan..."

 

"We'd have been completely ignored." Rachel shot back. "And Noah isn't saying we aren't sexy people, right, Noah?"

 

"You're both hella sexy." Noah assured, nudging Kurt's foot affectionately. "But trying that hard? Makes you look desperate. And no-one digs desperate chicks....or, you know, probably desperate gay guys."

 

"Thank you." Rachel grinned, grabbing out a dress. "What do you think?"

 

"... Honestly, or that won't make you throw a pillow at me?" Kurt asked, as he looked up at it. Puck pulled a face too, and Rachel sighed before putting it away.

 

"Hey, you know what I worked out? Kurt slapped Finn's ass, and Rachel kissed him... I think it's my turn next." Puck snorted, "We can be the Finn Hudson appreciation club."

 

"Oh shut up, Noah Puckerman." Kurt gave his leg a soft kick, and the three lapsed into easy silence.

 

 

* * *

 

 

  

 

**(Acafellas)**

 

 

"She thought you had a crush on me?" Rachel giggled, throwing a piece of popcorn at Kurt. "Oh god!"

 

"I'm still stuck on the fact she had to be told you were gay." Puck smirked, as he shadow-boxed with one of the manequinns. "Do I have to make out with you at the next pep-ralley to get the message out to the female population?"

 

"Okay, first? Rachel, be nice to Mercedes. Just because our love for each other transcends mortal comprehension..."

 

"...We are soulmates after all..."

 

"...doesn't mean, we should mock her limited grasp of it." Kurt grinned, before he turned to Puck. "Second? Puck. You wouldn't have the balls to make out with me in front of the pep-ralley, because you know what the footballers would proceed to do. You also realise making out with a guy would ruin your chances with the girls."

 

"They'd still see I'm a stud."

 

"Sorry, I misspoke. I'd ruin the girls for you." Kurt pursed his lips and blew Puck a kiss, laughing as he swatted it out of the air. "Anyway, Mr. Puckerman. We need to have a talk about something!"

 

"Oh?"

 

"Mmhm. How should I phrase this...." Kurt said, flicking his remote at the stereo, watching Puck twitch awkardly when the music started. 

 

_Ah tick tock you don't stop till the_

_Ah tick tock you don't stop till the_

_Ah tick tock you don't stop till the_

_Ah tick tock you don't stop till the_

 

"Feel like you wanna explain what me and Rachel witnessed earlier this afternoon?" Kurt asked primly.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

** (Preggers) **

 

"How are you doing?" Rachel's voice came from the top of the stairs, making Kurt shriek and nearly fall off his bed. 

 

"RACHEL! Privacy!"

 

"I checked you weren't naked."

 

"And If I was?"

 

"I'd have never told you I checked." Rachel smirked, moving to sit on the end of Kurt's bed. "Joining the football team? Really?"

 

"Shut up."

 

"Noah's upset that you joined by asking Finn rather than him."

 

"I thought it might be a good way to get to know Finn." Kurt huffed. "Judge me all you like."

 

"I think we need to make an agreement, right now." Rachel said calmly, holding out a hand. "No matter what happens with Finn, we remain friends. We don't count anything connected to him as being a part of our friendship, until one of us gives up."

 

"Why? Think I'll win?" Kurt grinned, taking the hand. 

 

"I just... We're both going to do underhanded stuff, and say mean things. But our friendship is worth more than that."

 

Kurt nodded gently, as they shook hands. "So, what are you doing here?"

 

"Your dad called my dads. Right now, I believe they're watching 'the game' and talking about how they both managed to get two perfect children who aren't obsessed with the sport."

 

"Rachel..."

 

"Football? Really?"

 

Kurt grumbled, and put the pillow over his head, hoping he could make himself pass out before she started on the horrors of the sport.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

**(The Rhodes not Taken)**

 

Kurt took a deep breath as he sat on the stage. "Thank god I managed to wrestle control of the costumes from April. There was talk of assless chaps." 

 

"And you fought so that that the guys didn't wear those?" Puck snorted, "I just lost a little bit of respect for you, Hummel."

 

"Like I'd want to see your junk." Kurt huffed, looking away. "And no, that isn't an invitation for you to get it out!"

 

"Damn, almost!" Puck took his hand away from his button. "One of these days, I'm gonna flash you, and then you'll be madly deeply in love with the Puckersaurus."

 

"You just want to know that you can get gay guys as well as girls." Rachel grinned as she collapsed next to them. "I'm also very thankful you kept a costume in my size ready."

 

"I knew you wouldn't last out a week with Sue Sylvester and the walking stereotype of Predatory Gay." Kurt smiled at her. "Now, why'd you have us stick around?"

 

"Well, it's my understanding, that April Rhodes stole one of your firsts." Puck smirked, holding up a bottle. "So, I wanted to have a very serious talk with both of you, about safety when drinking alcohol. And when you're suitably drunk, I'm going to brag about the threesome I had."

 

"Don't have to be drunk. What?!" Kurt punched Puck's arms. "I got vomitting on the guidance councillors shoes, and you got a threesome out of this week."

 

"Well I..."

 

"Got the knowledge that Sue Sylvester thinks you're the domino that could collapse us all." Kurt glared. "Now, threesome. Tell me, so I know how much to hate you."

 

"Well.... Me and Matt were in the shower after a slushy, right?" 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

**(Vitamin D)**

 

 

"Kurt, will you talk to me?"

 

"No."

 

"Rachel, make Kurt talk to me."

 

"No."

 

Puck sighed, rolling his eyes. "Come on, Kurt. We let you dress us." 

 

"Don't care."

 

"Rachel..."

 

"I am not getting in the middle of this." Rachel held up her hands.

 

"Kurt..."

 

"Look, Puckerman." Kurt turned, and slammed a hand into Puck's chest, pushing him back against the wall. "I put up with singing back up for Rachel, because she is, admittedly, a more wholesome image with a similar talent level. But when I am forced to sing back up for Finn Hudson and Artie Abrams? I am going to throw a fit." 

 

"I'm letting the violence go, because you're obviously upset." Puck said, looking down at the hand. "And because I think I'd break your hand if I did anything to move it."

 

"Artie and Finn took the leads, You all picked a song that was a hundred miles out of my wheelhouse, and I'm supposed to be okay with 'Ahhhing' in the background, and offering the high part to harmonies? Because you let me put us in some kind of coherent outfit." Kurt hissed, "This is why I hate working with you!"

 

"With me?"

 

"With you guys!" Kurt threw a hand up and took a step back. "You know what? Fuck it."

 

"Kurt!" Rachel covered her mouth, scandalized. 

 

"No, Rachel. I've had enough." Kurt switched his attention for a moment, before he looked back at Puck. "I don't want to speak to you, or Finn, or any of the guys for at least three days."

 

Puck nodded shortly, feeling his eyes prickle with tears for half a second before he bit it back. "Fine, Hummel." 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

** (Throwdown) **

 

"Okay, this is a step too far. You join Sue's club, and then ignore me in the hallway?"  Puck growled, grabbing Kurt's wrist as he tried to walk past Puck in the hallway. "Kurt, you're my best friend."

 

"You are hurting my wrist, Puckerman." Kurt said, his voice completely calm. "You were there the day my dad taught me how to throw a punch. You know I could give you a few good hits before you took me down. Now, let go."

 

"Yeah. I was there for that." Puck said, pulling Kurt closer. "And I was there when you flicked onto wizard of oz in the middle of the day and started crying. I was there to punch Finn out when he almost threw a pee balloon at you, and I was there when you bought a shirt from the woman's section of the store." 

 

"Any other embarrasing moments you want to cajole me with?" Kurt said, glaring at Puck.

 

"Yeah. When your dad caught us kissing in the basement, and you cried and told him that it was an accident and a phase and it was nothing, even as he tried to tell you it was fine, until he was so confused, that he just told you that he loved you no matter what, and that he would be ready if you ever wanted to tell him anything."

 

Kurt paled for a moment, glancing around to make sure no-one heard. "What do you want?"

 

"I want you to forgive me." Puck said quietly. "Okay, maybe I should've thought more about how to include you in the performance, but..."

 

"Maybe?" Kurt whispered. "You said I'm your best friend. You shouldn't have to think about what makes me happy, Puck. We should be made happy by the same things."

 

"Like you and Rachel?" Puck asked. "Because that's not me, Kurt. I don't like musicals, or fashion. You can moan at me all you like, but I'm never going to develop a moisteurising routine. I'm not your 'soulmate', I'm just the stupid Jewish kid who thought you were pretty the first time he saw you at temple, and wanted to keep you safe. I do bad things. I get drunk, and have sex with girls. A lot. But... I'm here. And I want to be your friend. And I want to do right by you, and make you happy, but there doesn't seem to be a lot of back and forth here. When was the last time you... I dunno. Came over to play Mario, without it turning into a rant about Finn, or how I dress, or what I do. I accept you for everything you are..."

 

"Gay." Kurt muttered."

 

"No! Not just Gay. Yeah, it's a big part of you, but I accept everything else too. That you're a gossip, and you like fashion and drama. That you can fix my truck up better than me, and that I need to always be careful not to upset you whilst my legs are far apart, or you'll remind me how good a kicker you are." Puck said, letting go of Kurt's wrist. "So, if you forgive me? I can't promise I won't want to do songs I like. But I'll try to find songs we like. And maybe, you can do the same, okay?"

 

Kurt nodded softly, wrapping his arms around Puck's neck. Puck wrapped his arms around Kurt too, and the two hugged for a while, as people passed by. "I'm sorry."

 

"Me too." Puck whispered. 

 

"You know, there are things we can do, that me and Rachel could never do." Kurt said quietly, wiping his eyes as he pulled away. "For example? Tonight. Me and you, steakhouse. And we'll talk all about whatever you want to talk about."

 

"Even Girls?" 

 

"Even girls." Kurt assured, laughing. "And I'll even pretend to listen."

  

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

  **(Mashup)**

 

Kurt sighed as he patted the girls back gently, rubbing a soothing circle as he made hushing noises in her ear. "It's okay, Rach. It's okay."

 

"I though.... It was so stupid..."

 

"It wasn't stupid." Kurt assured. "... Okay, a little stupid. He's sat right on this bed, and listened to you talk about Finn. But I'll admit, I have found myself a little attracted to the male jew in the past. And as Soulmates, that meant you would also one day." 

 

Rachel laughed, wiping her eyes. "Oh?"

 

"Definitely. It also means that at some point, you'll ask for sensible heels for your birthday." Kurt nodded seriously. "And whatever size you think is sensible? Take two inches off. That is my advice." 

 

"Sound advice." Rachel giggled before she took a deep breath. "It wouldn't have worked out."

 

"Maybe. Maybe not." Kurt shrugged, "It's not my place to say, sweetie. But he's hurting too."

 

"Oh?"

 

"Yep. Slipped in through my window at 1 in the morning, drunk. Curled up on the bottom of my bed, and cried. Very manly tears, of course. But he cried, and I consoled. And then I had a very awkward talk with my dad about how Puck was not my boyfriend, despite the fact that Burt once caught us kissing." 

 

Rachel gave a shocked gasp. "You've been holding out on me, Hummel!"

 

"When I get a boyfriend, I'll know all the Puckerman secrets... from around three years ago." Kurt looked at the ceiling. "I'm a gay stud. I will learn to adapt."

 

"You hussy, you." Rachel snorted, slapping Kurt's arm, and they slowly fell into silence. "Maybe... Should I call him? See how he is?"

 

"Maybe. Let him know you're still friends, and he's still the man of the group."

 

"What does that make you?" Rachel asked, and Kurt rolled his eyes as they shuffled into a slightly more comfortable position. 

 

"Oh god! Speaking of that, I had the most amazing idea for a faux-duet. I sing both parts from Le Jazz Hot, with a split costume of masculine and feminine...."

  

 

 

* * *

 

**(Wheels)**

 

"You blew that note on purpose." 

 

Kurt stopped, his shoulders tense. "I don't want to talk about it, either of you." He hissed, refusing to turn and look at them.

 

"Dude, I sat in your basement and watched you hit that note so many times I wanted to hit you with the keyboard." Puck rolled his eyes, as Rachel clung to his arms glaring at Kurt's back. "It's only a fair contest if you let it be a fair contest."

 

"I did what I had to do." Kurt said. "You both live it this wonderful little cacoon. Where... Puck is straight, so they never start to bother his mother and sister. And your dads are there to support each other and you, Rachel. When people heard I wanted to sing a girls song? They sent phone calls to my dads work, and he can't lean on me. He's all alone in this. And, as such, so am I."

 

"You're not alone in this." Rachel said. "My dads..."

 

"Are wonderful people, who don't need me burdening them." Kurt said, turning around finally to look at them. "Is this what you wanted to see, Rachel? Me crying. Is that what it takes to make your victory complete?"

 

"Kurt...." Rachel stepped forward, and Kurt stepped away. 

 

"This isn't your battle. Enjoy your solo, Rachel. We're not talking about this again."

 

 

* * *

  

**(Ballad)**

 

 

"So, Mercedes told me a really interesting story. Puck." 

 

Puck didn't bother looking at the door. "Oh?"

 

"Yeah. Something, funnily enough, about you GETTING QUINN FABRAY PREGNANT!" Kurt's voice turned to a yell, and Puck flinched before he turned away. "Puck, what were you thinking!"

 

"I wasn't! Kurt, I wasn't thinking. I was drunk and stupid, and... I just...." Puck took a long ragged breath as he fought to stay in control. 

 

"Hey... Hey, Noah. Easy." Kurt said carefully, as he sat down next to the boy and stroked his back gently. "I'm sorry I blew up at you, okay?"

 

"I didn't... I didn't think Kurt."

 

"I know you didn't. I generally do the thinking for both of us." Kurt grinned, trying to joke. "What're you going to do?"

 

"Nothing. Mercedes said that Quinn wants Finn to be the father... so... That's that."

 

"This is our Glee Club. I very much doubt that that is that." Kurt said. "But I am here for you, okay? Just as much as I'm here for Finn."

 

"How did you enjoy this week. Working with Hudson."

 

"Well, I got him to sing a wonderful song to his baby...." Kurt sighed, slipping in behind Puck. "You know... I'm kind of glad she isn't keeping the baby. You don't need this in your life." 

 

"I know." Puck breathed, turning around and wrapping his body around Kurt's. They both just laid there for most of the rest of the night.

 

 

* * *

  

 

** (Hairography) **

 

"Man slave!" Kurt shouted, as Rachel rang the little bell on her bedside cabinet. 

 

Puck turned and glared at them, but after a moment of looking at their tear stained face stood up. "Yes?"

 

"We're both very upset." Rachel said, pouting. "We said very mean things to each other, and you said you would cheer us both up at the same time."

 

"I thought you'd end up cheering each other up." Puck muttered, rolling his eyes. "What do you want me to do now?"

 

"My dads have another tub of cookie dough icecream in the freezer. Go and get it?" Rachel handed back the empty tub.

 

"And what does Kurt want?"

 

"Finn Hudson to realise he's bi-sexual and into polygamy." Kurt sighed, leaning into Rachel's hug. "Failing that... more Coke."

 

"You're going to overdose on Caffine." Puck snorted, at the pile of empty cans next to the bed. 

 

"It's diet." Kurt said simply. "But, fine. I want you to take your top off." He raised a challenging eyebrow.

 

"Done." Puck grinned, pulling the wifebeater over his head and letting them both stare. "See? You'll never beat me, Hummel." 

 

"Fine I want you to bl-" Kurt's voice was cut off by Rachel slamming a hand over his mouth.

 

"We are not testing his threshold in my house, or even with me present." Rachel hissed, before she started giggling, quickly followed by Kurt.

 

Puck watched them hold each other and laugh with each other, feeling his lips pull up into a grin.

 

They'll be okay.

 

 

* * *

 

 

**(Mattress)**

 

"Okay, I love that boy." Kurt said, very dangerously quiet, as he glared at Finn walking away from Rachel's photoshoot. "You know I do, Noah. But I am going to kill him." 

 

"You can't kill him, Kurt." Puck said, rubbing Kurt's back. "We need him for sectionals."

 

"But he's really hurt her!" Kurt snapped, "I can carry a dead weight into regionals if I have to, and you can cover Finn's leads."

 

"Still, there's the whole murder thing." Puck pointed out. "And the prison that would innevitably follow. Plus, if he happened to smile at you as you went to kill him, you'd probably fall on your knees right then and there."

 

"I'm not a slut, Puckerman."

 

Puck grunted as Kurt elbowed him in the stomach and pulled out his phone. "What're you doing?"

 

"I can't hurt Finn myself. But someone can anonymously tip Jacob Ben Israel off that Finn recently was heard announcing that he sucked David Karofsky off in the shower." Kurt smirked. "It won't lead to anything obviously, Karofsky and the football players will slushy Finn or shove him a bit more than usual for a few days."

 

"That is why I'm scared of you, Hummel." Puck whistled low, as Kurt hit send. "You're cold."

 

"He hurt my soulmate. I'd do the same if someone hurt you." Kurt muttered, tucking his phone into his pocket. "Now, we need to go be in place to comfort Rachel."

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

** (Sectionals) **

 

"You don't understand, Rachel." Kurt said softly, letting Puck squeeze his hand as tight as he wanted. "Noah's been torn up about this for months. You have no idea how many phone calls, and late night tickets it took to get him to admit what happened that night."

 

"You both kept it from me though." Rachel whispered. "My best friend and my soulmate kept this from me."

 

"Rachel, Noah didn't tell me."

 

"Who did?"

 

"Mercedes. And you have no idea how often I wish she'd told you. Because we needed you, but we couldn't burden you with this. Because we knew what you would have to do after you found out." Kurt looked down. "You'd have to tell Finn. And we've all seen how Finn took it. Imagine what could have happened if he didn't come back?"

 

"We could have lost Sectionals? That's not..."

 

"If he didn't come back, Quinn could have demanded that Puck take his place. Puck would have gone back to stealing and working to pay for hospital bills and such. He's have ended up either in jail, or stuck in a loveless relationship with little miss stretch-marks, to help look after the baby, or heart broken when the baby was ripped out of his hands."

 

Rachel paused, considering it, before she nodded. "I'm sorry, Noah."

 

"I'm not. I'm glad it's out there in the open now." Puck sighed, holding his arm out, "Come on girls. Group hug."

 

"Just because you're a mess doesn't mean you get to call me a girl, Noah." Kurt glared, but let himself be pulled into a hug.

 

"I'm so glad you're both here." Noah admitted.

 

"Always will be." Rachel breathed into his chest, they dozed there for a good hour, before Kurt pulled himself off Puck's chest, and looked at the mirror as if analyzing something. "What's wrong?" She asked, turning to look at him.

 

"We need to make plans." Kurt said, carefully. "Because... If we think Sue Sylvester has been bad so far? Then Sectionals is going to be her trump move. Nobody eat or drink anything we haven't prepared or bought ourselves, and watch it like it's a drink in a dark bar. And we prepare a new solo, just in case."

 

"What about a duet?" Puck asked, looking at Rachel.

 

"We could..." Rachel hummed. "And It'd be a good idea to have other options ready."

 

"And we only have to use them if other people ask us to."


	2. Season One: Episodes 14 - 22

 

  
** _Season One: Episodes 14 - 22_ ** **  
**

**(Hell-O)**

 

"Rachel!" Kurt gave her a soft shove, "You know the Rules!"

 

"Oh." Rachel sighed, dropping her eyes to the carpet. "I thought.... After Sectionals, you might have given up."

 

"We've been friends for years, Rachel. When have you ever known me to 'Give Up.'" Kurt huffed, crossing his arms as he lounged on his bed. "We can emotionally support each other, but trading plans/secrets/ideas will only lead to us sabeoutaging each other." 

 

"Kurt..." Rachel pouted, sitting on the bed. 

 

"Fine! I'll listen to whatever you have say."

 

"Well... I want to make him upset." Rachel pondered, "So, maybe I should sing about my feelings."

 

"Maybe." Kurt shrugged, "You'd have to find a song that had Hello in the title." 

 

"Hello is made of two syllables." Rachel said quietly, lost in though.

 

"Mr. Shuester will be upset." Kurt pointed out.

 

"Tough." Rachel said firmly, lifting her chin in defiance against the rules. "It's time I took a page out of Noah's book."

 

 

***

 

_**(Hell-O: Continued)** _

 

 

Rachel watched them.

 

They watched Rachel.

 

Rachel stepped to the left.

 

They stepped in her way.

 

She rose an eyebrow.

 

Kurt raised his. Puck just crossed his arms.

 

"Jesse is not that bad!"

 

"He's a member of Vocal Adrenaline...." Kurt started, Puck finishing his sentences.

 

"...Who looks like some kind of evil teenage scientist..."

 

"...Who lured you into singing a duet, which was long been established as your kyptonite..."

 

"...which made you miss our coffee date."

 

"We are not amused, Rachel." Kurt finished. watching carefully.

 

"He's just... He's nice to me. He doesn't drop me for lesbians. Or think he can get a girl pregnant via Hot Tub."

 

Kurt sighed, " Rachel, we can't demand that you break up with him." 

 

"But the guy is a grade A douche." Puck growled, staring Rachel down.

 

"He's actualy really sweet!" Rachel assured, "And finally, there is a male lead, who can match my talent level and comitment."

 

Kurt blinked, and Puck could see the gears working in his head, working out if he had time to be offended. Finally, he just sighed, and crossed his arms. "You've made up your mind."

 

"I have,"

 

"When this inevitably and violently implodes, I'm not going to say I told you so." Kurt grumbled.

 

 

* * *

  

_**(Power of Madonna)** _

 

 

"Notice that I'm a girl when they need me to create a costume for them all in 15 minutes, but then I'm back to being a guy." Kurt grumbled, watching the girls swarm Mercedes.

 

"Poor Hummel." Puck scoffed, throwing an arm around Kurt's shoulder. "Not even being a cheerleader made you grow that pussy you wanted."

 

"I will slap you." Kurt glared, "What did we talk about?"

 

"Gay is not Transgendered." Puck rolled his eyes, "Yes, I know."

 

"I wish I was a part of their world." Kurt sighed, getting a far away look in his eyes.

 

Puck gently walked him away from the gym, letting Kurt figure through what he said in his head. When the look faded, Puck stopped. "Musical number?"

 

"Huh?" Kurt asked, blinking.

 

"I asked Rachel what she thought about when she got that look, and she said Musical Numbers." Puck shrugged, "You had the same look in your eyes."

 

"Oh, yes." Kurt hummed, as he took stock of his surroundings. "Have we been walking?"

 

"Mmhm." Puck nodded leaning against a locker. "I wanted to talk about something, in private."

 

"What is it, Noah?"

 

"You know how much my perfect record means to me." Puck smirked, "Like Brittany, you know?"

 

"... Well, I always assumed that was just the female cheerleader." 

 

"Females, and the gay ones." With a grin, Puck watched Kurt's blush. "But I only go all the way with the girls. Guys just get a kiss."

 

"Wait.... There are gay guys on the cheerleading squad? Who?!"

 

"Now, Kurt, you once told me I should never out a gay person."

 

Kurt glared, "Why do you only ever have morals when it'll annoy me?"

 

Puck shrugged, glancing around. "I know it's not your basement."

 

Kurt laughed, moving closer to Puck, before holding up a hand to pause them. "One kiss, for your record."

 

"I get it." Puck said, pushing off the locker's, and stepping into Kurt's personal space.

 

It was quick, and easy, and nice. But... weird and a little boring.

 

"No spark." Kurt sighed, as he pulled away. "Guess we can't run away together."

 

"Tragic." Puck snortedd. "You've even gotten better at it."

 

"The tender crook of my elbow is a good tutor." Kurt grinned, sliding his arm into Noah's. "It's Collin, right?"

 

"What?"

 

"Gay Cheerleader. It's Collin."

 

"Kurt. I'm not going to..."

 

"Ooh, is it Zachary?" Kurt asked, hooking his arm through Puck's arm and dragging him toward the exit.

 

 

* * *

 

_**(Home)** _

 

__

Puck was in the middle of making out with one of the hot cheerleaders, when he heard the rocks impacting on his window. There were only two people in the world who knew that sign, and both of them came before a random hookup. "Just a second" He whispered, as he pulled away, and went to the window, and stuck his head out, trying to see who it was. 

 

Kurt was stood on the sidewalk, and even in the darkness Puck could just tell that something was wrong. He turned to the cheerleader, and quickly ushered her out of the house, waiting until she was out of sight before he brought Kurt inside. "What's wrong Kurt?"

 

"I did something stupid. Something really, really, really stupid." Kurt whispered, as he slipped up the stairs into Puck's bedroom, and curled up in  a ball, with a pillow in his chest.

 

"What? Singing to Finn? Because we both know we've seen worse." Puck tried to joke, but Kurt shook his head.

 

"I introduced my dad to his mom, and they started dating. And I thought, this is perfect. Now he'll be living with me, and I'll have all the time in the world to let him work out that he's madly in love with me, you know?"

 

Puck bit his lip. This wasn't the time to argue about Finn being straight. "What happened, Kurt?"

 

"I introduced my dad to his perfect family."

 

"Don't think you need introducing to him, Kurt." Puck tried to make Kurt smile, but all he did was make him curl further in on himself.

 

"He loves Carole, and he's so happy with her. And he really likes Finn. They're going to ball games, and eating disgustingly unhealthy food, and spending time together. Just like a.... A normal father and son do."

 

"Kurt, you are normal."

 

"I'm not normal!" Kurt snapped, tears welling in his eyes. "I'm a fag! A fairy! I'm the girliest guy in all of McKinley, who happens to have the manliest dad in the school too. Finn is the perfect son. Straight, likes girls, and football and pizza. He's everything a father could want!"

 

"Kurt...." Puck said gently, moving to sit next to Kurt, and pull him into his chest. "Your dad loves you."

 

"I know he does. He'll love me until his dying day. But.... I don't think he likes me. I don't think he can even begin to understand me. We can't watch TV together, or go to events. He can pretend to care about the stuff I care about, but there's always going to be that part of us that isn't there. That part where it's a struggle. Whilst Finn walks right in, and it's a perfect fit."

 

"What do you want me to do?" Puck asked quietly, breathing into Kurt's hair.

 

"I just.... I don't want to be alone tonight." Kurt whispered, as his eyes drooped. "I didn't.... I didn't know where else to go."

 

 

* * *

  

_**(Bad Reputation)** _

 

 

_Noah Puckerman's totally unbiased list of reasons why Rachel and Kurt should be top of the Glist with him._

 

_Rachel:_

 

_1\. When she let's Kurt do her eyes and hair properly, she looks really mature and hot, and less like a crazy person._

 

_2\. She's completely secure in her sexual experience, and is perfectly willing to admit that she didn't have sex with Douchey McDouchebag._

 

_3\. She's the hottest Jewish Girl he knows._

 

_4\. She has 'amazing breath control' which Kurt says is super important for stuff Puck'll enjoy later on._

 

_5\. When she uses her sexuality properly, she can convince a stud, the quarterback, and Douchey McDouchebag to all be her boyfriend in a music video._

 

_6\. She doesn't use sex as a weapon or a reward, which makes her a hell of a lot better than the cheerleaders._

 

 

_ Kurt: _

 

_1\. He can put his legs behind his head. That has definite potential._

 

_2\. Breath control again._

 

_3\. He might not be a Jewish Boy, but Puck's mom totally aproves._

 

_4\. Best guy kisser on the Cheerioes._

_5\. Have you seen those legs? And that ass?_

 

_6\. Seriously. Those pants are like.... God's gift to the human race. With the legs and the ass_

 

 

* * *

 

 

_**(Laryngitis)** _

 

"Okay, we are talking about this." Puck said, sitting down his two best friends and crossing his arms as he glared at them. 

 

"This has been a bad week for us." Kurt admitted, as he kicked the bag of clothes at his feet. "All three of us."

 

"Laryngitis" Rachel said, frowning.

 

"Made out with Brittany." Kurt added, "Also sang a very angry song on the stage, and let my dad know that I hate the fact that he is friends with Finn."

 

Puck shrugged, "Got bullied, dated Mercedes and had to bully some of the nerds again to regain my street cred." 

 

"So... We burn Kurt's 'straight' clothes." Rachel kicked the bag too, making Kurt grin. "And we have a talk with Finn about the appropriate amount of time to spend with Burt."

 

Kurt nodded, looking at Puck. "And you need to understand that you are a good person, and you shouldn't let yourself be bullied into... being a bully."

 

"And Rachel needs to get that it's okay to focus on one part of yourself, but you shouldn't get so upset, because your best friends will always be here." 

 

The three nodded, and had a brief group hug.

 

Then they burned things.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

_**(Dream On)** _

 

 

"What did you write?"

 

Kurt glanced up, grinning when Puck collapsed into the seat next to him. "Doesn't matter. It'll never happen according to Mr. Ryan." 

 

Puck rolled his eyes. "Dude, I already got my dream. Threesome. Remember?"

 

"Yes. Which is why I'm avoiding Matt still." Kurt snorted, elbowing Puck in the stomach. 

 

"Rachel still shouting at her dads?"

 

"She was when I left." Kurt shrugged, "Leroy said sorry that she'll miss it."

 

"Meh, I think she gets to miss this one." Puck shrugged. "There's a chance for her to meet her Mom, you know?"

 

"I know!" Kurt rested his head against the back of the booth. 

 

It was tradition that once a month the three would go out and have a proper sit down meal together. They'd been doing it for a couple of years now, and this was the first hat one of them had missed (Bar hospitalization).

 

"So, what did you write?" Puck tried again, watching Kurt carefully.

 

"To have a boyfriend before I leave school." Kurt admitted quietly. "I know it's a pipe dream, but..."

 

"No, Dude, not at all. I mean, it must suck seeing all these couples and not having a chance to do it yourself." Puck sighed, throwing an arm around Kurt. "I'll work something out. I could get us fake IDs and take us to that gay bar."

 

"A world of no." Kurt laughed. "I'll just be the lonely single gay guy."

 

"... If I ever see a guy, and think he's gay and good enough for you? I'm gonna aim him your way." Puck promised, pulling Kurt into a hug.

 

 "Thank you." Kurt smiled softly. "Now, let's take this oppotunity to gorge ourselves on meat."

 

 

* * *

 

 

_**(Theatricality)** _

 

 

It was only once Finn was on the floor holding his jaw, moaning about something, that Puck realised he probably should have spoken to Finn before he started beating on him.

 

"Get up!" He snapped, grabbing Finn's shirt and pulling him to his feet. "We're going to have a talk."

 

Finn blinked blearily up at Puck for a moment, before mumbling out "Rachel text me. What're you..."

 

"You are REALLY slow, aren't you, Hudson?" Puck snarled. "Kurt and Rachel told me to drop it, but we both know you never learn anything, unless it's beaten into that fucking thick skull of yours."

 

Finn shook his head as he managed tough of his brain together to work out what was going on. "You text me from Rachel's phone? To hit me?"

 

"To tell you, that you'll never use that word in front of Kurt again. Or Rachel, or Me."

 

Stumbling to his feet, Finn nodded quickly. "Dude, I totally understand! I mean, Kurt's gay, and Rachel's dads are gay, and they're your friends. But you should get that I didn't mean it like..."

 

"Like what?" He snapped, shoving Finn against a wall. "What're you going to say here to make this any better?"

 

"Dude!" Finn snapped, "If you shove me again..."

 

"You'll what?" Puck snorted. "You are such a fucking.... Small minded pussy."

 

"Noah! Let him go!"

 

"You just got your reprive." He snarled, as he let go of Finn, to find Kurt and Rachel glaring at him from where they'd just pulled up in Kurt's car. "I told you I'd handle this. You're both too... Close to him, to think about this properly."

 

Kurt stepped forward, shaking his head. "You think hitting him will make him hate me less?" 

 

"I don't hate you." Finn coughed from where he was leant against the wall, shaking his head. 

 

"This conversation does not include you." Kurt snapped. "I'm really trying not to let him hit you a little more."

 

Puck smirked, only for Rachel to slap it from his face. "What the hell!"

 

"Stop using violence to solve your problems." Rachel hissed, before she pulled him into a hug. "Now lets get out of here. Finn here will find a way to apologise to Kurt, at some point. But you hitting him only makes you feel beter." 

 

Puck ducked his head, wrapping an arm possessively around Kurt's waist. "Come on. I want ice-cream if I can't beat on him."

 

 

* * *

  

_**(Funk)** _

 

 

"Hello, Jesse St.James." 

 

Jesse couldn't help the little jump, as he caught sight of the lithe boy sat on his car bonnet. "Hummel."

 

"I have an ethical dilema, that I wanted your opinion on." Kurt said brightly, as he twirled the spanner in his hand calmly. "I recently was the victim of some hate speech, and my best friend started to physically assault the boy who said it. I stopped him, saying that violence wasn't the answer. With me so far?"

 

"Yes." Jesse said, glancing around a little. It was brightly lit, but there were no cameras or witnesses nearby. He couldn't see any of the other members of New Directions nearby though, and he could take the little gay kid. 

 

"And then, you attack my home away from home, and visciously assault my other best friend with eggs, knowing she is a vegan." Kurt continued, pausing. "Also, my best friend had to clear out most of his savings in an effort to repay for your tires. But, we'll put that to one side, shall we?"

 

"Okay..." Jesse hummed, cocking his head. "So the ethical dilema is whether you should break your own rules and try and hit me?"

 

"No..." Kurt grinned, patting the hood of the car affectionately. "This car is beautiful. But the model has been known for minor inconsistancies, that can result in danger to the driver." 

 

"Oh?" Jesse blinked, looking at the car.

 

"Mmhm, I had a little look, and couldn't see any, but you never know." Kurt climbed off the bonnet. "Did you ever meet my father, by the way? Burt Hummel, the owner of Hummel's tires and lube. Taught me everything I know. How to put a car together, and exactly where you should make sure that there isn't any damage. Because if there is damage there, then it's almost a matter of time until something goes wrong." 

 

"... Did you do something to my car?" Jesse asked, his eyes widening. 

 

"I don't know. I only checked on it, because it's a beauty. But I'm a poor gay kid. I couldn't know anything about cars. Or at least enough to damage them. And I couldn't know how expensive it is to have a complete top to bottom check and potential reconstruction." Kurt said, suddenly looking every bit the innocent and scared gay kid. "Now, I have to rush. We're having a mass funeral for the poor baby birds you killed, and I need a nice outfit."

 

Jesse gaped after Kurt, as Kurt hefted a bag onto his shoulder and walked around to the back of his car. Suddenly, there was a sharp crack, and the sound of glass falling to the ground.

 

"Your tail-light is out too." 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

**_(Journey to Regionals)_ **

 

****

Kurt raised the champagne flute to the room, giggling as they all did the same. "Okay, I want to make a toast."

 

"Oh?"

 

"To next year? Doing everything differently." Kurt snickered. "We will not be in love with obvious spies."

 

"Hey!" Rachel shouted, throwing a pillow at him.

 

"We will not get the head cheerleader pregnant!"

 

"Hey too!" Puck snickered, reaching for some more cake. "At least I know the baby will be raised musically."

 

"And... What will I do differently?"

 

"You, Mr. Hummel, will not fall in love with straight boys." Rachel laughed, watching as Kurt blushed. "You never know. Next year means new faces. And you can find the Gay Kid of that generation."

 

"Fine! To doing everything differently." Kurt held up the glass and watching them do the same and then draining the glass. "Okay, refills."

 

"So what else do we do differently?" Puck asked, offering his glass. 

 

"We don't let Finn keep the head spot, just because he's straight." Kurt said, as he pouted the champagne. "Rachel?"

 

"I should probably slow down." Rachel said, but offered the glass all the same. "We're all going to have the worst hangover in the world tomorrow."

 

"No school, and no temple." Kurt pointed out. "Eat your vegan cakes and be quiet."

 

"I think you should stay on the cheerleading squad." Puck said, cocking his head. "Keep Sue Sylvester on your side, and keep yourself safe." 

 

"Maybe... I was thinking of bowing out quietly. I'm worried about balancing the two." Kurt admitted, glaring when Rachel snorted. "What?"

 

"Kurt. If anyone, other than Quinn Fabray, would be able to balance the two? It would be you." Rachel said, snorting. "Stay on the Cheerios. Between you and Puck, you can cover the male lead."

 

Puck nodded, "Plus, Guitar and Piano are much more awesome than Drums." 

 

"What about you two?" Kurt said, looking between them.

 

"I'm.... Going to be less intense." Rachel said. "If I have a lead male who can pull his own weight, I can stop trying to keep everything in the same place and such. I might even be willing to let a few solos go." 

 

"Wow, that's mighty big of you, Rachel." Kurt said, smirking at Puck. "I give it a week."

 

"And I... am going to be a better friend." Puck said, nodding his head. "Screw my reputation. I mean, what has it got me?"

 

"A mohawk, for one." Kurt said, grinning. "So, let's destroy that reputation."

 

"So, we're agreed. Next year, we don't let things go back to normal. We are best friends and we will rule that school." Rachel pumped her fist, draining her glass and filling it again

 

"Oh god." Puck whispered, "If Kurt is a cheerio? He's going to be the most popular one of us."

 

"I promise to be magnaminous in my rule." Kurt said, giggling as he collapsed backward onto the bed. "Now where are my palm leaves."

 

"Dog pile!" Puck cried, putting his glass down and charging at the bed, jumping on top of Kurt. Kurt let out a loud huff as the air was forced out of him, as Puck took the glass and put it aside. Rachel raised daintily, putting her glass aside, and moved to the bed, sitting on top of them. 

 

"You are all so heavy!" Kurt whined in between his heaves of laughter.

 

"Take that back! I'm dainty!" Rachel cried, reaching down to tickle Kurt's side.

 

Puck watched them both warmly, for the rest of the night, and later, when they collapsed into Kurt's bed, and curled up together.

 


	3. Auditions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the changes begin!

 

**_Auditions_ **

 

****

"Okay, guys!" Mr Shuester said, clapping his hands. "I'm glad to see so many familiar faces, but.... It looks like we're a few short."

 

"Matt moved away." Mike said quietly, his arms around Tina's waist. "And I haven't heard from Puck all holiday."

 

"Kurt's been missing too." Mercedes added, "And... Rachel, I guess."

 

"They've spent the holidays together." Finn hummed, putting his feet up on the chair in front of him. "I got banned from the basement, because it's their space."

 

"Sucks to be you." Santana sniggered, "I've seen Hummel lots with Coach Sylvester's summer practices. And he is looking good. Like.... Gay face has vanished to somewhere, and left his hot twin behind."

 

Mr Shue let them all gossip as he moved to the board and started writing on the board. "I was hoping Rachel and Kurt would be hear. Because this year, Nationals are being held in...!"

 

"New York." Kurt's voice came from the door as he walked in, waving at Mercedes briefly. The choir room went quiet for a moment as they took in the sight. Kurt was wearing the Cheerio's uniform, his hair perfectly styled. His arms certainly looked more muscular, and he had an air of confidence around him, even as he leant against Puck's side with his arm around his shoulders. Puck was dressed like normal, but something around him just seemed... calmer, his other arm around Rachel. Rachel was the biggest change. Gone were the animal sweaters, and strange clothes. Instead, she looked normal. In fact, more than normal, she looked hot.

 

Finn was used to the sight, so he rolled his eyes and went back to his schedule, trying to work out the quickest routes between class.

 

"...Okay, am I the only one who is wondering... What the hell?" Santana gestured. "Show of hands?"

 

The group quickly raised there hands, bar Finn who shrugged. "They're super close."

 

"Yes, we are." Kurt said, shooting a grin at Rachel. "We've been best friends for the past 6 years." 

 

"But you barely spend any time together! And you're always complaining about each other."

 

"And?" Puck snorted. "My Girls..."

 

"Noah!"

 

"Fine, Kurt and Rachel," He stressed the names, "Are soul-mates, and I'm above letting fights get between friendships you know?"

 

"How did you know where Nationals are being held?" Mr. Shuester asked, looking at them all.

 

"We've been researching." Kurt smiled warmly. "Also, Rachel and I have an announcement to make." 

 

"If they're getting married, I'm going to bed, and trying again tomorrow to understand this." Tina whispered to Mike, smiling when he grinned. 

 

"Now, last year, the Co-Captaincy of Glee Club failed horrifically. There was no coherency to the group, and we all suffered for it. We relied on either Finn or Rachel to pull something out of their asses at the last second too often, whilst they were falling in and out of love." Kurt said, taking Rachel's hand in his. "Which is why, this year, Myself, Rachel and Puck would like to put ourselves forward as Co-Captains of the Glee Club. We all have different areas of expertise, and musical taste, and circles of influence."

 

"Wait, dude, you're taking the captain spot from me?" Finn asked, looking woundedly at Kurt. "We're brothers."

 

"No, you're step brothers." Rachel cut in. "And I think this would be best for everyone concerned. As one of the original Co-Captains of the Glee Club, I'd like to call it to a vote. Who here would like a reign of stability for a year?"

 

The group almost completely raised there hand, other than Santana and Finn who were watching the trio. Kurt looked at Santana in askance, and she stood up. "Whilst I do believe that anyone here would be an improvement over pyramid nipples over there? You are going to be too busy with the Cheerios to commit fully."

 

"Which is why there's three of us. Rachel can commit compeletely to the club, but me and Puck can over-rule her with sheer numbers if we have to. We're also willing to put in the extra time to make sure that this year, everything about the club is fair. Including Solo distribution, and the like." Kurt replied, grinning. "Majority rules, anyway. Let's move on. Mr. Shue?"

 

"Uh... Right. So, New York! We''re going to do a performance at lunch today to try and drum up some auditions."

 

 

* * *

 

 

Puck watches as Finn brings the blonde boy into the room, and introduces him quickly. He waits until Mike and Artie have started talking to him a little, before he pulls Finn aside. "Okay, tell me if this is a power-play. Because if I find out later? I'm the most likely of the three of us to beat you down."  

 

"No, Dude. It's just... We need guys, right?" Finn said smiling warmly. "And Sam's a guy... I think. I didn't really... you know, check."

 

"And why didn't you invite Kurt?" Puck asked, crossing his arms. 

 

"Because I didn't want to scare Sam off. Look... Puck, I'm happy that I'm not Co-Captain anymore. Rachel would call me at really weird times and talk about really strange stuff, and it all went right over my head. But... I can still help out, you know?"

 

Puck watched him for a moment, before slapping his back. "Okay, Dude. Just warn me next time, okay?"

 

"Right, sure." Finn grinned, almost bouncing on his feet. "So, should we go quiz him?"

 

"Sure." Puck smirked, as they all took seats and Puck blatantly gave Sam a once over with his eyes. Of course he'd already summed him up in his head, but people tended to act differently if they thought they were being looked at. "So, Why don't you tell us about yourself?" Puck said, carefully neutral.

 

"Uh... My names Sam Evans. I like comic books, sports.... I'm kinda Dyslexic so my grades aren't that good. But I'm working on it." Sam shuffled awkwardly, as the group watched him.

 

Puck was pretty sure the kid was gay. 

 

And, as Rachel and Kurt could attest, he was never one for subtlty. 

 

"Dude, your mouth is huge. How many balls can you fit in there?" Puck asked, cocking his head to the side.

 

"I don't know, I've never had balls in my mouth, have you?"  Sam asked, shooting a grin at Puck. 

 

"Okay, I'm gonna say it. Don't answer that, we don't want to know what you and Kurt get up to." Artie said, waving a hand in Puck's face.

 

"What?" Puck asked, turning his attention to where Artie and Mike were snickering.

 

"Hey, No judgement here. It's kinda obvious why you'd stick around Rachel, because apparently she's really hot under those fugly clothes. So if you like the Kurt too? That's cool." Artie grinned, offering his fist to bump.

 

"Okay, first of all, I have never had sex with either of them." Puck said, glaring. "Second... What? Because Kurt's gay, I must be sleeping with him to be his friend? How fucking homophobic is that?"

 

"Uh, it's kinda not my place to say, but that does sound a dick move. Gay guys and straight guys can be friends, and sexuality is more than two points." Sam shrugged.

 

"Bonus Points to you. Take a seat, whilst I finish." Puck gestured vaguely in Sam's direction. "You want to know the truth? Yeah, I've made out with both of them. Kurt when he was working out his sexuality, and when he became a cheerleader to keep up my perfect record. Rachel... Well, when we tried dating. THAT doesn't make me gay, bi, pan or omni-sexual."

 

"I understood half those words." Finn said quietly.

 

"So, if you want to imply I'm sleeping with either of them? Go ahead. But next time, I'll not be the one who gets pissed. It'll be them. And Kurt is one cold bitch when he gets angry, who is friends with your girlfriend, Mike, and has known you for a long time, Artie." 

 

By the time he had finished, Artie and Mike looked embarrased and confused. They didn't bring it up again, and from the looks of it, Sam was explaining to Finn what Pan and Omnisexuality are.  

 

"Sam? You good to sing something now?"

 

"Uh, yeah." Sam said raising his head, and grinning warmly. "Is there a guitar I could borrow?"

 

"You can use my baby." Puck hummed grabbing her from the Band section. "Treat her nice, you hear?"

 

"Yes, Sir." Sam grinned, wiggling his eyebrows at Puck. "I just want to say before I start.... I kind of expected to come in here and act a certain way, you know? Finn sold me on the idea of popularity, and everything. But seeing a guy like this ready to stick up for his friends, I just.... The song'll say it better."

 

**_(Sam)_ **

 

  
_I don't need to be anything other_   
_Than a prison guard's son_   
_I don't need to be anything other_   
_Than a specialist's son_   
_I don't have to be anyone other_   
_Than the birth of two souls in one_   
_Part of where I'm going, is knowing where I'm coming from_

_I don't want to be_   
_Anything other than what I've been trying to be lately_   
_All I have to do_   
_Is think of me and I have peace of mind_   
_I'm tired of looking 'round rooms_   
_Wondering what I've got to do_   
_Or who I'm supposed to be_   
_I don't want to be anything other than me_

_I'm surrounded by liars everywhere I turn_   
_I'm surrounded by imposters everywhere I turn_   
_I'm surrounded by identity crisis everywhere I turn_   
_Am I the only one who noticed?_   
_I can't be the only one who's learned!_

_I don't want to be_   
_Anything other than what I've been trying to be lately_   
_All I have to do_   
_Is think of me and I have peace of mind_   
_I'm tired of looking 'round rooms_   
_Wondering what I've got to do_   
_Or who I'm supposed to be_   
_I don't want to be anything other than me_

  
_Can I have everyone's attention please?_   
_If you're not like this and that, you're gonna have to leave_   
_I came from the mountain_   
_The crust of creation_   
_My whole situation-made from clay to stone_   
_And now I'm telling everybody_

_I don't want to be_   
_Anything other than what I've been trying to be lately_   
_All I have to do_   
_Is think of me and I have peace of mind_   
_I'm tired of looking 'round rooms_   
_Wondering what I've got to do_   
_Or who I'm supposed to be_   
_I don't want to be anything other than me_

_I don't want to be  
_

 

_I don't want to be_

_I don't want to be_

_I don't want to be_

 

By the end of the song, Puck was grinning, and the other guys seemed much more enthusiastic, after the little spat with Puck. "Dude, I'd say you were in right now if I could." Puck grinned, moving to pat the blond boy on the back. "That was an awesome song, and Mr. Shue would love how you picked a song that dealt with what we were talking about."

 

"Totally, dude. And you're right. I mean... Puck hasn't changed, just because we know he's been macking on guys." Finn said, grinning. 

 

"How about I walk you to your next class and we talk about what we do next, huh?" Puck asked, watching the blonde boy nod. "Okay. Let's go."

 

 

* * *

 

 

"Rachel. You have crazy eyes." Kurt warned, as the girl came out of the bathroom. "And I know I just heard an impromptu performance of Telephone coming from that bathroom."

 

"I am resisting the urge to send a very good female singer to a crackhouse." Rachel muttered, her voice tight. "Tell me I don't need Solos."

 

"You don't need Solos." 

 

"I do though." Rachel whined, "I need applause to live."

 

Kurt watched her for a second, and then very slowly raised his hands, and performed a slow clap. "That should see you through until lunch time." He said sarcastically. "Now, we're going to wait out here, and when the good female singer comes out? We're going to discuss whether she would like to join the glee club."

 

"Don't you have Cheerios practice?" Rachel tried, pouting at Kurt

 

Kurt laughed, hugging her shoulders with an arm. "Nice try." 

 

When Sunshine finally emerged, she looked a little worried to see Rachel stood there. "Am I in trouble?"

 

"No. You're not." Kurt assured. "I'm Kurt Hummel, I'm one of the Co-Captain's of Glee Club. And unfortunately, Rachel here got a little confused about Auditions. They're being held after school today. Can you make it?"

 

"Yeah sure... I just... I wanted to say that I really enjoyed singing with someone. I don't know how good I would be on my own..." Sunshine blushed, "My mom says I'm good, but she has to you know?" 

 

"I completely understand." Kurt said, smiling warmly at the girl. "Unfortunately, the Audition process involves a solo, but afterwards, you're free to participate in Group numbers or Duets exclusively, if that's what you want." 

 

"And I'd be happy to sing WITH you." Rachel grinned, her eyes sparkling. "It'll be a welcome change from fighting girls in song."

 

Kurt watched as Rachel's reluctancy faded as the two discussed songs they could duet on. "So we will see you tonight?"

 

"Oh, definitely!" Sunshine smiled, as Rachel tucked her arm into Sunshine's. 

 

"I'm going to work with her on her solo." Rachel said. "And I won't even try to sabeotage her."

 

"Good, because I know how to spot when you've sabeotaged someone." Kurt waved as they left, and headed back towards the canteen.

 

 

* * * 

 

"So, I have to ask. Very straight forward okay? No tricks or traps." Puck said, as he looked around. "I'm guessing you don't play exclusively to the girls, right?"

 

"Not.... Exclusively." Sam blushed, looking around. "I'm not... You know."

 

"Smart." Puck snorted, "You don't want to be saying that word in the halls." 

 

"I've noticed that the football team seem to have laser guided hearing on that word."

 

Puck nodded briefly, looking around. "Yeah. I'm not going to lie. Small minded town Ohio. With homophobia and everything." 

 

"Ah..." Sam frowned, "Small minded town?"

 

"Yeah. You won't make any friends by being in Glee Club." Puck shrugged, "Other than the Glee Club. What else do you do?"

 

"Football. I'm trying for Quarterback." 

 

"Cool, I'm on the team too." Puck nodded, "I knew I'd seen you somewhere." 

 

Sam blushed, looking around. "So... Uh, you're not exclusive either, right?"

 

"No." Puck shrugged. "I think of myself as Heteroflexible. I used to say I was a sex shark, but then my girls started smacking me when I did." 

 

"Your girls?"

 

"Kurt and Rachel."

 

"Kurt's a girl?"

 

"Kurt's a boy. He's just... very girly." Puck grinned, "But he's a hell of a kicker, and can fix up a car better than anyone I know." 

 

Sam smiled, "He on the football team too?"

 

"No, the football team don't like him." It was a sore spot, that his best friend couldn't be on the team with him. "Still, he does the next best thing. He's lead vocalist for the cheerleaders."

 

"Whoa, that's awesome." Sam laughed warmly. "I always love cheerleaders, you know? They're more commited than the football players most of the time." 

 

Puck watched Sam carefully, "So... B or Q?" 

 

"Huh?"

 

"Well, LGBTQ, right? And you were careful about saying not exclusively girls. So, L and G are out. And if you're T, you pass well." Puck grinned warmly. "And I know it's not polite to ask if you're T, and that wouldn't affect who you were attracted to. So, B or Q?"

 

"Q." Sam said, frowning. "Why're you so interested?"

 

"I just want to know how best to stick up for you. Like... If I stood in front of Kurt, and told people he isn't gay? I would get laughed out of town."

 

"You're planning on sticking up for me?" Sam asked, crossing his arms and looking at Puck. "I kinda assumed that this was private."

 

"Oh, totally. But... Just in case, you know?" Puck grinned, holding up his hands. "Besides, you're a good looking guy. I bet by the end of the day, someone will have hit on you. Boy or Girl is 1/99, but there's still a chance." 

 

Sam grinned, as Puck stopped in front of a door. "This is my class."

 

"Yeah. Now, look man. If anything happens? You need to talk, or you need a friend, I'm here. It isn't based on you joining the Glee Club, or Football team. I'm just here for you."

 

"Why?"

 

"Q.'s have to stick together." Puck grinned, waving at Sam as he backed away.

 

 

* * *

 

 

"Okay, so we only have two auditions." Mr. Shue sighed, "Thank you Rachel and Finn. First up, we have Sam Evans."

 

Kurt watched as the boy walked out onto the stage, turning to stare at Puck and Finn. "Is he...?"

 

"Not right to tell people about people's sexualities." Puck hummed, smirking. "Why?"

 

"I hate you, so very, very much." Kurt hissed, turning to look back at Sam. "He's gotta be."

 

Finn leaned in, and whispered in Puck's ear. "Why aren't we telling Kurt he's straight?"

 

"Because it should be left to the person in question to announce their sexuality."  Puck whispered back, "Whether he's straight or anything else." 

 

"Oh." Finn thought on it for a second, before he nodded. "Okay. I'll keep it in mind." 

 

"Good." Puck grinned, nudging Finn, "You can be taught after all."

 

"Guys!" Mr. Shue turned and frowned. "Sorry, Sam. Would you like to introduce yourself, and tell us why you picked this song?"

 

"Uh, yeah. I'm Sam Evans. I picked this song because it's part of a niche of Geek Culture, you know? And it was sang by the most awesome gay man ever. And I think that that's important, after the conversation we had this afternoon. Geek culture has been super accepting of Gay people. With characters like Hulkling and Wiccan in the comic books, and Steve Jinx in Warehouse 13 and Captain Jack in Dr. Who. So... Yeah."

 

"Who's your favourite?" Tina asked, grinning widely. 

 

"Hulking, obviously." Sam laughed gesturing to his hair.

 

"I prefer Wiccan." Kurt hummed, crossing his arms.

 

"What was that, Kurt?" Mr Shue asked, turning to look at him. 

 

"I... I said, I prefer Wiccan."  Kurt said louder, blushing when attention was turned onto him. "What? I am kept abreast of Gay activities in many field, including the depiction of Gay Teenagers in the media."

 

"Dude! You read Young Avengers?" Sam grinned, almost bouncing on his feet.

 

"People, if we don't stay on track, we'll waste all afternoon chatting." Rachel cut in. "Sam, what song are you going to perform?"

 

"Oh, right. I'm singing Slipping from Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog, Originally sang by Neil Patrick Harris." Sam grinned, before he slipped into the song.

 

_**(Sam)** _

__

 

  
_Look at these people - amazing how sheep'll_   
_Show up for the slaughter_   
_No one condemning you - lined up like lemmings_   
_You led to the water_   
_Why can't they see what I see? Why can't they hear the lies?_   
_Maybe the fee's too pricey for them to realize_   
_Your disguise is slipping_   
_I think you're slipping_

_Now that your savior is still as the grave you're_   
_Beginning to fear me_   
_Like cavemen fear thunder - I still have to wonder_   
_Can you really hear me?_   
_I bring you pain, the kind you can't suffer quietly_   
_Fire up your brain, remind you inside you're rioting_   
_Society is slipping_   
_Everything's slipping away_

_So..._   
_Go ahead - run away_   
_Say it was horrible_   
_Spread the word - tell a friend_   
_Tell them the tale_   
_Get a pic - do a blog_   
_Heroes are over with_   
_Look at him - not a word_   
_Hammer, meet nail_

_Then I win - then I get_   
_Everything I ever_   
_All the cash - all the fame_   
_And social change_   
_Anarchy - that I run_   
_It's Dr. Horrible's turn_   
_You people all have to learn_   
_This world is going to burn_   
_Burn_   
_Burn_

_No sign of Penny - good._   
_I would give anything not to have her see_   
_It's gonna be bloody - head up Billy buddy_   
_There's no time for mercy_   
_Here goes - no mercy..._

 

Kurt watched with rapt attention, as Sam sang and acted his little heart out. It was obvious that Artie had helped him out, as the board behind him lit up to illustrate the spelling mistake. When he finished, everyone clapped for him, and Sam stepped off the stage.

 

"What did we think?" Mr Shue asked, turning to look at the group.

 

"The song wasn't the greatest for his voice." Rachel said honestly. "But he seems enthusiastic and sweet."

 

"The reason he sang the song was good. He saw a problem within the group, a common idea that LGBTQ men lean towards a certain kind of behaivour, and sang a song to highlight a Gay man who defies expectations at every turn, as well as a popular sub-category of the media that accepts and celebrates those kind of character."

 

There was silence as everyone turned to look at Puck. 

 

"Okay, who put Kurt in Puck's body." Mercedes asked quietly, making Tina snicker.

 

"Puck made a good point though." Mr Shue turned back to the stage. "And now, Sunshine Corozan." 

 

 

* * *

 

 

""So.... The Young Avengers, huh?" 

 

Kurt grinned over his shoulder as he finished locking up his locker. "Yes, Tina."

 

"You know, last year you'd have denied it with your dying breath." Tina laughed, wrapping an arm around his waist and hugging him. "I'd have had you down as a Kate boy."

 

"Please. A purple costume?" Kurtrolled his eyes pulling a mildly disgusted face. "You're a Tommy girl, no doubt." 

 

"Team Sociopath!" Tina gave a small air punch, before she pulled away from Kurt. "You and Puck..."

 

"If this is a question about whether we're dating, I may shout at you." Kurt forwarned, turning to lean against his locker.

 

"No. I just wanted to make sure he treats you okay." Tina assured. "I mean... That many egos in such a small friendship..." 

 

Kurt laughed, making Tina grin too. He smiled warmly and looked down the hall towards where he knew they would be getting ready for to head home. "We make it work." 

 

"Cool." Tina nodded slowly. "So. That Sam kid. Gay as a bucket of rainbows, right?"

 

"I know, right!" Kurt said, clapping his hands. "Puck knows something, but I was stupid and told him he shouldn't gossip about peoples sexualities." 

 

"You really shouldn't, you know?" 

 

Tina gave a brief squeak, and did a very good impersonation of a ghost, as she went pale and then vanished. 

 

Sam paused, glancing at the girls toilet she ran into and then back at Kurt. "She frightens easily."

 

"We don't have the best of luck with Jocks." Kurt hummed, glancing at Sam. "I will warn you, if you intend to harm me, Coach Sylvester will not be happy."

 

"How do you know I'm a Jock?" Sam asked, frowning and trying to remember if he'd mentioned it in the auditorium.

 

"I've seen you practicing. Cheerleader here."

 

For a moment, they stood in silence, awkwardly looking for a conversation topic. Kurt was just about to steamroll in with some blather about how Sam dyed his hair, when Sam grinned and started talking.

 

"So... Uh, are you a part of the schools GSA?"

 

Kurt shook his head a little. "We don't have one."

 

"Oh... PFLAG?"

 

"Nope." Kurt gave a short laugh. "We don't have any kind of LGBTQ group. We'd need LGBTQ people for that." 

 

"Well. I mean..." Sam blushed, "I'm trying not to gossip, but people've said you're..."

 

"I'm Gay." Kurt said, raising his chin defiantly. "And I am proud of that."

 

"Awesome! You should be!" Sam grinned, "And I'm sure there are people who are gay, or queer or whatever, in the school."

 

Kurt paused, as he reminded himself that Sam didn't mean it in a derogatory way, instead meaning people who didn't identify as LGBT. People like Puck, who were Heteroflexible. "You're sure?"

 

"Almost definite." Sam leaned against the locker, still smiling. "Maybe you should set one up?" 

 

"Nobody would join." Kurt sighed, "If there are gay people in the school, they're scared into the closet."

 

"Except you?" 

 

"Except me."

 

Sam sighed, his happiness fading. "Sounds lonely."

 

"It is." Kurt shrugged. "But I have Noah. And Rachel and her dads. And Sarah, and my Dad, and Glee Club." 

 

"Sarah?"

 

"Puck's little sister. Apparently, it doesn't matter that I'm gay. One day, she will marry me." Kurt nodded, smiling. "So.... Why don't you walk me out to my car?"

 

"Sure. You can tell me how I can impress everyone next time around. I don't think that was a great song to show off my voice."

 

Kurt grinned, "You still got in didn't you?"

 


	4. Britney/Brittany

 

 

**_Britney/Brittany_ **

 

****

"Britney Spears week is totally not my jam." Puck grunted as he lifted weight, looking over at Sam. "I mean, more power to Kurt for actually getting it to go forward, and for standing up to Mr. Shue, but I didn't sign on to wear a sexy schoolgirl outfit."

 

"I'm sure Kurt and Rachel'd get you out of that one." Sam grinned, as he raised himself off the ground again. "But maybe we should force you to do it, to get some more girls in Glee Club."

 

"Yeah, for the girls, Evans." Puck gave Sam a meaningful look, watching the blonde blush and nearly let go of the bars keeping him up. "Come on, loosen up. We're all alone in here."

 

"I know, I just... Not used to it being so... out there in here."

 

"Where did you go before this place?" Puck asked, sliding the weight onto the bar, and sitting up. "Is there a trauma I need to address here."

 

"No, Dude. All Boy's school. And between apparently being very obviously not exclusive, and having a great sense of who else wasn't exclusive, I knew a load of gay kids." Sam shrugged, "But considering that we all lived with each other five days out of seven? We had to be very careful not to rock the boat." 

 

"I get it dude." Puck nodded, "I spent last year here with the same attitude."

 

"And now, you walk down the corridor with your arms around Kurt and Rachel." Sam pointed out. "What changed?"

 

"We decided that we'd do everything differently this year. One of mine was no more blending in." Puck shrugged, "So far, there hasn't been any big differences in how people treat me. So... Yeah."

 

"Cool." Sam nodded, finally dropping from the bars, and moving to the weight bench, nudging Puck off it. "So... Kurt's a cool guy."

 

"Yeah, he is." Puck walked to the punching bag, turning his back to hide his grin. "Why you mention it?"

 

"I was just wondering if ... I dunno, you and him wanted to hang out?" Sam muttered, as started on the weights.

 

Puck couldn't help but laugh at that, giving the bag a quick one two. "Scared to hang out with him in private?"

 

"Not scared." Sam grunted, "Just... Not sure about it, you know?"

 

"I'll tell you what." Puck caught the bag mid swing and turned to look at Sam. "I'm going to Kurt's tonight for a movie night. Come with me."

 

"You're sure? Like, he won't be pissed?"

 

"Oh, he'll be so pissed." Puck laughed, looking over at Sam speculatively. "But I'll wear something he likes, and you'll wear something tight, and between that and his natural state of being a good host, he'll let us in."

 

Sam stopped lifting the weights, and gave Puck a strange look. "You use his sexuality against him often?"

 

"Only when I want something." Puck shrugged, "And when he wants something, he gets my mom and my sister to bug me." 

 

"You two have the strangest friendship." Sam grumbled, starting on the weights again.

 

"Just think of it as your first date." 

 

Sam yelped and nearly dropped the weight, Catching it at the last moment. "Date? Who said anything about date?"

 

"Nobody." Puck hummed, as he started punching the bag again. "And nobody has noticed how much you've been staring at him during Cheerios practice either, or how often conversations seem to drift back in his direction." 

 

Sam quickly shelved the weights and sat more comfortably, watching Puck. "Am I that obvious?"

 

"Only to people who are looking."

 

"Oh."

 

"I'm the only one dude." Puck sighed, catching the bag again. "You like Kurt?"

 

"He's.... Hot." Sam shrugged, "And funny, and kind." 

 

"You like Kurt." Puck grinned, "So what's the problem?"

 

"I never had this problem before. When I was at the all boys school, gay guys would approach me, you know? And if I felt a spark, I'd hang out with them, and... you know, more."

 

"Kurt's not gonna make the first move. Or if he does, it'll be super confusing and it'll take you like... three years to work out he made the first move. You'll be sat in a class room, and you'll realise a conversation about... I dunno, pants or moisteurising routines was actually him admitting he wants you. And by that point, he'll have shot off ahead of you."

 

"That's encouraging." Sam muttered sarcastically. "So, what? I have to ignore my own rules and make the first move?"

 

"Or be his friend, and wait for him to make a move." Puck rolled his shoulder. "Come and hold the bag for me?"

 

Sam moved to the position Puck had gestured to, holding the bag. "How will I know he's made his move?"

 

"You'll just have to be on the look out, won't you?" Puck grinned, before he started laying into the bag with his fists. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Kurt glanced at Puck's tight black vest, and Sam shifting awkwardly in tight jeans, and a button up shirt. "... I will shout at you when you come in. Warning you now." He hissed at Puck, before stepping aside, and allowing them in. "Sam? Would you like to head to the basement?"

 

Sam nodded quickly, heading in the direction pointed. Kurt couldn't help but follow the sight with his eyes, eyes staring at the ass.

 

"Did I do good, or did I..."

 

At the sound of Puck's voice, Kurt snapped out of his half daze and slapped Puck's arm gesturing him to be quiet. Kurt waited until he heard the door close, before he slapped Puck again. "What were you thinking!"

 

"He asked to hang out tonight, and I couldn't say no..."

 

"Yes! You could! It's a very simple word, Noah! No! See?" 

 

"You have Rachel's crazy eyes going on, Kurt." Puck warned, trying not to laugh. "What's the big deal?"

 

"Well, you decided to bring..." Kurt's voice dropped even quieter for a moment, "...the really cute blonde boy, in tight jeans..."

 

"Man, I know! I'm starting to think I might have to extend my policy on kissing guys." Puck leered down the corridor. "Start including people like Sam in there. Did you see that ass?"

 

"Yes, I saw his ass. It's a very nice ass for a straight boy." Kurt hissed, slapping Puck's arm lightly again. "What did we talk about?"

 

"Well we talk every day, so you'll have to be a little more specific."

 

"Dangling straight boys in front of me." Kurt glared, and Puck felt guilty for a moment.

 

"Kurt, Sam has no problem with you, okay? He won't get freaked out because you're gay."

 

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Yes, I know you have a man crush on the boy, and want to marry him. But now is not the time." 

 

Puck rolled his eyes, "Whatever, Kurt. If you're not going to let him stay, we can do this another night."

 

"Don't be ridiculous, I'm not going to throw you out." Kurt sighed, rubbing his forehead. "I'll just... Change into something more appropriate, and re-plan our activities."

 

"You don't have to do that." Puck assured. "Sam'll enjoy our usual stuff. And what're you going to change into? Your Cheerio uniform?"

 

Kurt glared, turning on his heels and stalking towards the basement, and Puck could almost see him sliding his host mask into place beneath his skin.

 

 

* * *

 

_**(Kurt)** _

_Lately I've been stuck imagining_

_What I wanna do_

_and What I really think_

_time to blow out._

 

_Be a little inapropriate_

_cause I know that everybody's thinking it_

_when the light's out._

 

_Shame on me_

_To need Release._

_Uncontrollably._

 

_I-i-i Wanna Go-o-o_

_All the Way-ay-ay_

_Taking out my freak tonight_

_I-i-i Wanna Show-ow-ow_

_All the Di-i-i-irt_

_I've got running though my mind_

 

_Whoa_

 

_I-i-i Wanna Go-o-o_

_All the Way-ay-ay_

_Taking out my freak tonight_

_I-i-i Wanna Show-ow-ow_

_All the Di-i-i-irt_

_I've got running though my mind_

 

_Whoa_

 

_Lately people got me tied up_

_There's a countdown waiting for me to give up_

_Time to Blow Out._

 

_I've been told who I should do it with,_

_To keep both my hands above the blank-ank-et_

_When the lights out._

 

_Shame on me_

_To need Release._

_Uncontrollably._

 

_I-i-i Wanna Go-o-o_

_All the Way-ay-ay_

_Taking out my freak tonight_

_I-i-i Wanna Show-ow-ow_

_All the Di-i-i-irt_

_I've got running though my mind_

Whoa

 

_I-i-i Wanna Go-o-o_

_All the Way-ay-ay_

_Taking out my freak tonight_

_I-i-i Wanna Show-ow-ow_

_All the Di-i-i-irt_

_I've got running though my mind_

_Whoa_

_Sh-Sh-Sh Shame on me_

_(shame on me)_

_To need release_

_(to need release)_

_Uncontrollably_

_(uncontrollably-lably-lably)_

_I-i-i Wanna Go-o-o_

_All the Way-ay-ay_

_Taking out my freak tonight_

_I-i-i Wanna Show-ow-ow_

_All the Di-i-i-irt_

_I've got running though my mind_

_Whoa_

 

_I-i-i Wanna Go-o-o_

_All the Way-ay-ay_

_Taking on my feet tonight_

_I-i-i Wanna Show-ow-ow_

_All the Di-i-i-irt_

_that's running though my mind_

_Whoa_

Puck whooped at the end clapping loudly, with Sam grinning widely and clapping (even as he carefully crossed his legs).

 

Kurt wiped the sweat from his forehead, grinning wildly. "Why, thank you boys."

 

Puck grinned, throwing Kurt a towel from the bed. "Dude, it was amazing. But you know that Mr. Shue would have a heart attack if you did that in the choir room."

 

"Which is why it's for the Cheerios." Kurt snorted, "Like I'd give the glee club that much of my sex appeal."

 

"I'd have to pry them off you with a crowbar." Puck nodded, throwing himself back on the bed. "It's all I can do to control myself right now, Kurt. I must have you."

 

"Oh, Mr. Puckerman. What of my delicate sensebilities." Kurt sighed, holding his heart. Sam watched the exchange, grinning. "What did you think, Sam?"

 

"It definitely had... uh, sex appeal." Sam laughed rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. "Maybe there's a less sexually charged one you can sing in Glee club?"

 

Kurt shrugged, "I don't think I'll have time to sing anything. We're getting towards the end of the week, so we're right on time for someone to have some kind of emotional revelation."

 

"Rachel's been spending time with Finn, so it'll probably be that." Puck shrugged. "You get used to it." 

 

"I feel guilty about taking the Quarterback position from Finn." Sam muttered, "He seemed really... out of it."

 

"Finn needs to learn to stop having things handed to him." Kurt said sharply. "He got handed the Quarterback position, and he got handed the captaincy of the Glee Club last year. And he has a long way to go before he'll be a good leader. So, don't feel guilty about leading the team to victory in the meantime, okay?"

 

"Yeah. Thanks.... I think." Sam blinked, glancing at Puck who nodded. "Has anyone ever told you that you can be scary intense?"

 

"Many people. Rachel and I are soul-mates after all." Kurt laughed, moving to collapse on the bed, and rest his head on Puck's chest. "So, movies. Rocky Horror?"

 

"What's Rocky Horror?" Sam asked, looking confused.

 

"Oh god." 

 

"I'm so torn right now." Puck grumbled, covering his face with a pillow. "On one hand, please don't make me watch that film again. On the other, dude you haven't watched The Rocky Horror Picture Show?"

 

"My Nerdiness is generally comic and space aimed." Sam muttered dryly.

 

"Puck, grow a pair. We're watching it." Kurt grinned, moving to rumage through the movies in a draw, bent over at the waist.

 

Puck watched for a second, and then quickly snapped his head to Sam, catching him staring too, before he blushed. The trap had suceeded. "Your gay-by would have a great ass." He hummed in Sam's ear as he shuffled to take his shoes off. 

 

"What?" Kurt asked, turning around and catching Sam's blushing and spluttering. "Puck, what did you just say to Sam?"

 

"Just that he'd make a good Monster." Puck said, holding up his hands. "With the gold shorts?"

 

"Oh god, you would!" Kurt laughed, clapping his hands.

 

"Would that be enough to make you consider being Frank-n-furter?" Puck smirked, crossing his arms. 

 

"..." Kurt glared for a long moment, before he threw the disc to Puck. "Make yourself useful."

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Kurt sighed watching Rachel's adult contemporary number. He'd been annoyed ever since Mr. Shue had hijacked his lesson about female empowerment and turned it into a creepy attempt at seducing a woman. It was just... annoying. 

 

"Uh, Mr. Shue? Me and Kurt had been working on something..." Brittany held up a hand, but Kurt tried to stop her.

 

"Mr Shuester doesn't want to see that, Brit-Brit." Kurt said quietly, ignoring the quiet glare Santana was sending him for touching her. 

 

"Dude, no. I'm sure it's awesome." Sam grinned, turning to look at Mr. Shue. "Can we see?"

 

"I thought we jsut put this to rest." Mr Shue sighed.

 

"Actually, Mr. Shue. I too don't think that it's right that we end our Britney week on such a depressing note. Britney Spears has managed to empower the idea of women being able to control their own body and destiny through her music. She had a right to make her own mistake, and to use people's preconceptions of her advantage. I think we should allow Kurt and Brittany the chance to say a fond farewell." Rachel said, before she returned to her seat, smiling warmly at him.

 

"Okay, but quickly Kurt."

 

"Actually, they'd need the stage. Don't you ever check who's booking it out, Mr. Shue?" Puck snorted. "Kurt and Brittany had it pretty much all afternoon yesterday."

 

"Fine. But, quickly." Mr Shue sighed, gesturing to the door, as everyone rushed out. Kurt sighed, rubbing his forehead before he let Brittany drag him backstage.

 

When Kurt walked out on stage, he could feel everyone's eyes on him. Including several of the Cheerios who weren't on stage. He could hear the slight heel to his leather shoes clacking as he stepped out into position, as Brittany took center stage, surrounded by the peons of the cheerleading squad.

**_(Brittany)_ **

_There's only two types of people in the world_

_The one's who entertain, and the ones that observe_

_Well, baby, I'm a put-on-a-show kind of guy_

_Don't like the backseat, gotta be first._

_I'm a like the ringleader, I call the shots._

_(call the shots)_

_I'm like a fire cracker, I make it hot_

_When I put on a show._

_I feel the adrenaline, moving through my veins._

_Spotlights on me and i'm ready to break_

_I'm like a performer, the dancefloor is my stage_

_Better be ready, hope that you feel the_ _same._

 

She moved between, over and around the Cheerios as if they were glorified props, or in some cases, stripper poles. Every movement was precisely a copy of Brittany's, or a reaction to something Brittany had done, with a cohesive energy that Kurt found sorely lacking in Glee Club. 

 

**_(Brittany)_ **

_All eyes on me, in the center of the ring, just like a circus_

**_(Kurt)_ **

_When I crack that whip, everybody gonna trip, just like a circus_

The boys on the stage all stomped a foot out on whip, and then flung themselves towards the ground in what probably looked like a painful move, but Kurt knew otherwise. All exactly as practiced.

 

**_(Brittany)_ **

_Don't stand there watching me, follow me, show me what you can do._

**_(Kurt)_ **

_Everybody let go, we can make a dancefloor just like a circus._

Kurt took a deep breath as he forced confidence into his voice when he felt none. It took the tiny voice of Sue Sylvester in his head shouting something abusive to him, to sput him into movement.

 

**_(Kurt)_ **

_There's only two types of guys out there_

_Ones who can hang with me, and ones that are scared_

_So baby, I hope that you came prepared._

_I run a tight ship, so beware_

_I'm a like the ringleader, I call the shots._

_(call the shots)_

_I'm like a fire cracker, I make it hot_

_When I put on a show._

_I feel the adrenaline, moving through my veins._

_Spotlights on me and i'm ready to break_

_I'm like a performer, the dancefloor is my stage_

_Better be ready, hope that you feel the same._

 

As he moved his hips slowly to the music on his last verse, resting his back on Collin behind him to keep himself upright, He knew, just knew, that people were staring at him. But for once, the awkward silence wasn't terrifying, but instead thrilling, as he saw Sam cross his legs awkwardly, and Puck unashamedly eyefucking him on the stage.

 

**_(Kurt & Brittany)_ **

_All eyes on me, in the center of the ring, just like a circus_

_When I crack that whip, everybody gonna trip, just like a circus_

_Don't stand there watching me, follow me, show me what you can do._

_Everybody let go, we can make a dancefloor just like a circus._

_Let's go_

_Let me see what you can do_

_I'm running this like-like-like a circus_

_Yeah, Like a what? Like-like-like a circus_

_All eyes on me, in the center of the ring, just like a circus_

_When I crack that whip, everybody gonna trip, just like a circus_

_Don't stand there watching me, follow me, show me what you can do._

_Everybody let go, we can make a dancefloor just like a circus._

_All eyes on me, in the center of the ring, just like a circus_

_When I crack that whip, everybody gonna trip, just like a circus_

_Don't stand there watching me, follow me, show me what you can do._

_Everybody let go, we can make a dancefloor just like a circus._

 

Kurt took a deep breath as he stopped, Brittany right behind him. He could take in the people's expression, and he grinned as the cheerios stood up and whooped them, along with Puck and (not standing) Sam. Finn looked like he'd turned red permenantly, whilst Artie was staring at Brittany like she was a brand new person. Mike's eyes were wide, and Tina had a devious little smirk on her face as she slid her phone back into her bag. 

 

"Well?" He asked, his breath still a little short.

 

"What made you choose that song?" Mr. Shue asked, looking completely confused.

 

"Well, as a gay teenager in Lima, Ohio? I am constantly being told that I am wrong for my sexual urges. And when I, myself, am not wrong, the urges are. But Brittany Spears had a very similar experience, going from Child Star to Adult. This kind of song is the perfect example, that we are all the same kind of person. Boy, Girl, Gay, Straight. We have desires. And with the other person's consent, we shouldn't feel ashamed to act upon them." 

 

Brittany latched onto Kurt's side, hugging him. "You were really hot, Kurtie."

 

"Thanks, Brit." Kurt rested his head on hers. 

 

"Dude, where did you learn to dance like that?" Mike finally choked out, grinning. "We need to get you in more dance numbers." 

 

"Cheerios, and a lifetime of Musicals and Female Pop-star Icons." Kurt laughed, turning to the cheerios. "And a thanks to the Cheerios who helped make this a reality." 

 

"You're not going to tell us that we were sloppy and awful." Collin asked, still blushing a little. 

 

Totally the gay cheerio. Kurt thought to himself, but shook his head. "No, you were a great help, and managed to get it perfect with only a minimal amount of practice. You should be proud."

 

"It's really weird not to be shouted at after a routine." Sally, one of the female Cheerios whispered to her friend but grinned at Kurt. "If you keep this up, we're going to want to help you out more often."

 

"I'll keep it in mind." Kurt laughed, giving the girl a brief hug. "I'll see you all tomorrow for Cheerio's practice?"

 

The Cheerios departed, grinning wildly. Kurt let out a soft sigh, watching them.  

 

"Okay... So, with that, I think we can agree that Britney Week is done?" Mr Shue asked, still looking a little lost. 

 

"Britney Week is done." Kurt nodded, before he turned to Brittany. "But Brittany week's here to stay."

 


	5. Grillled Cheesus

_**Grilled Cheesus** _

 

"You're not big on Christianity?" Sam asked as everyone else clapped for Puck.

 

Kurt looked up from his phone, and shrugged. "I don't ever want to STOP people believing what they want, but religeons have never been exactly a comfort to me."

 

"Have you tried it?"

 

"A month of Catholic churchs, A month of Episcopal, and 3 years of Judaism." Kurt hummed, clicking off his phone and looking at Sam properly. "I wasn't Jewish, but I went to temple with Puck and Rachel to get me out of the house more. Why? Are we going to have a problem here, Samuel?"

 

"No! No, not at all." Sam quickly waved his hands. "And it's kinda scary how much you sound like my mom when you say my name like that." 

 

"Why all the questions about religeousness?" Kurt asked, cocking his head to the side.

 

"It's just... I'm fairly devoutly christian."

 

"Ahh." Kurt nodded, smiling. "And yet, you think a lot of gays and women-folk. Let me put your mind at ease. I have nothing against personal worship. I have an uncle who is a Polytheist, and a Wiccan aunt. And, if there is one singular god, I would love to meet him, or for him to prove his existance in a shower of love and acceptance. But organised religeon? Gets messy. Different interpretations of religeous texts, withholding rights, and allowing things that should never be allowed. There is my problem. And having people shove their religeous beliefs in my face for a week, and asking me why I don't believe, when it should be very obvious? Is going to annoy me. Not the people doing it, just... Having to explain."

 

"Oh." Sam said quietly, frowning. "I'm sorry dude."

 

"It's fine. I got over it a month after the priest who buried my mom asked me if I had turned away from the devil yet." Kurt shrugged, "You should go celebrate Puck's declaration that his religeon is having sex with girls. Like we didn't already know that. I have to go to a french classroom, and pretend I'm learning anything in that room."

 

"Why pretend."

 

"I speak fluent french. I won Nationals for the Cheerios by singing a Celine Dion medley completely in french for what felt like a few hours. My dad got annoyed when I couldn't stop when I returned home." Kurt grinned. "The Romance languages are easy, Sam."

 

Sam laughed awkwardly, and went to congratulate Puck. Of course the first guy he really had a crush on would think multiple languages were easy.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

"Where the hell is Uncle Burt." Puck practically roared as he squeezed through the tiny opening in the elevator. Fucking things were always so fucking slow. 

 

A security guard stepped in front of him, trying to slow him down. "Excuse me, Sir. We need you to be..."

 

Puck had a lot of words he wanted to yell in the guy's face, but Rachel was holding his arm, and she looked so small. 

 

"Puck?" Mr Shue's voice drifted down the hall, "What're you... Rachel?"

 

"Is... Is Uncle Burt okay?" Rachel asked quietly, her head down. "We were waiting for lunch and we heard people from Kurt's french class say that he was pulled out of class for a family emergency, and then Tina said that she'd seen him getting in the car with you, and the office said you'd taken a student to the hospital, so it obviously..."

 

"Mr. Hummel is fine, Rachel." Miss Pillsbury said softly, as she gestured to the doorway. "Kurt's in there with him right now."

 

"Okay." Puck nodded slowly. "Rach? You go in there, and you look after him, okay? No talking about anything that'll upset him. I'm gonna go pick him up some spare clothes, and we're gonna stay at yours this week. That cool?"

 

"Yeah." Rachel whispered, looking through the window. "He looks so small."

 

"Who, Hummel?" Puck said, "Cause he's always..."

 

"Uncle Burt." 

 

Puck felt the cold feeling of dread tingle along his spine. "I can't... I'll go get his clothes, I'll meet you back here in an hour." 

 

* * *

 

"I guess it didn't occur to me, because he's not actually your father." Kurt said, his voice dead as he looked up at Finn's angry face. 

 

Finn wasn't to be deterred, as he carried on. "Well he's the closest I'm ever gonna get." 

 

"Are you kidding me?!" 

 

Sam's voice snapped through the confusion, and everyone turned to look at him as he shoved Finn. 

 

"His dad has a heart attack, and your complaining because you weren't at the top of his to-tell list?!" Sam practically hissed. "Do you know what this is like? To lose someone this close to you?"

 

"He's like my..."

 

"Like! You're not related! You've barely known him a year. Kurt's dad has been the only family there for him since his mom died. If your mom died, would you be calling him up right then and there."

 

"Chill, Guppy." Santana said, grabbing Sam's arm with claw like fingers.

 

"Well, Puck and Rachel are obviously too far out of it to say something themselves." Sam snapped back, refusing to let go of Finn's top. 

 

"Or, maybe, they're paying attention to the fact that Kurt's on the verge of tears, and fighting won't do anything to help." Santana hissed, grabbing Finn's arm. "Now, I shouldn't have to be the one to tell you this. But if Kurt does start crying? Puck will kill you, and then Rachel will kill you, and then Mercedes and Tina will kill you, then a good 20% of the cheerios will kill you. And once all that is done? Coach Sylvester will drag you from the afterlife, be there one or not, and kill you emotionally, then mentally, then physically. Got it, Quarterbacks one and two?"

 

"Yeah." Sam breathed, letting go of Finn's top. Santana watched them both, and then removed her fingernails from Sam and Finn's skin. 

 

"Now sit down, and shut up. And if Kurt wants you to do something? You jump at that chance. Otherwise, give him what time he needs to work out his feelings."

 

The two boys moved to there seat, and Santana moved to sit behind Kurt, watching over him like a hawk. 

 

"Hey guys," Mr Shue said, as he walked into the room somberly, "Our thoughts are all with Burt, and I know it's sort of hard to focus on anything else..."

 

Kurt almost completely tuned them all out, listening as Mercedes stood up and started singing.

 

Why his dad?

 

* * *

 

 

"... Uh... I didn't know what you might like." Sunshine whispered quietly, holding out the flowers. "I'm not trying to be religeous or anything. I just wanted to give your father a get well soon gift."

 

"That's very sweet." Kurt said, gently taking the flowers. "They're beautiful."

 

"They reminded me of you." Sunshine said before she went quiet for a moment. "Not in a romantic way. I just.... The flowers are very beautiful, but unless they're given the right support and the right conditions, they won't ever bloom, you know?"

 

"I know." Kurt said, as he slid them into the back of his car. "Are you going to tell me that religeon or spirituality are that support?"

 

"No." Sunshine shook her head. "But your friends are. Telling them you don't want their prayers, but not telling them what you do want, is making them confused. They just want to help."

 

"I want my dad back, Sunshine." Kurt said simply. "Can any of them give me that?"

 

"No. But your dad will be back." Sunshine promised. "If he's anything like you then he's too scary to let anything keep him down for too long." 

 

Kurt smiled a little, but it didn't stick. "I just wish there was something I could do in the meantime."

 

"Why don't you have a party? Or go to the movies?" Sunshine offered. "I could sing with you. Or you could practice dancing with Mike. He hasn't mentioned a thing about religeon this whole time." 

 

"I know." Kurt said quietly. "But I don't have the energy to..."

 

"I never said it'd be energetic singing." Sunshine grinned. "How about you drive me to the mall, and we'll sing a long to the radio."

 

"I was going to go see my dad."

 

Sunshine paused, a shadow coming over her face, before she forced herself to smile again. "I could come with you? Just for the car ride. Make sure you don't spontaneously burst into fire at the wheel for saying there's no god in front of Quinn?"

 

"That... That'd be nice." Kurt smiled, letting her climb into the passenger seat. "I know... I know I've made a big deal out of other people's religeous beliefs but... I don't know yours. So... I apologise if I offended you."

 

"I don't believe in a god either." Sunshine said quietly. "I mean, I believe in some things. Like... How there's something after death, and how we should treat each other as best we can. But I don't think that there's anyone waiting to strike down those who do bad things."

 

"Okay." Kurt said, smiling. "Let's go."

 

* * *

 

"SAM!" 

 

Sam grumbled, kicking his feet out from under the covers, and resisting the urge to stomp down the stairs. "I'm trying to sleep mom!"

 

"Can you come down? Your friends here."

 

Sam blinked, grabbing a pair of sweatpants off a pile and shoving his feet into them hazardously. "Mom, none of my friends know where I live." He called, as he stumbled down the stairs, and into the living room.

 

"The internet is a miraculous thing." Kurt's voice came from the couch, sounding utterly broken. Sam stopped short, taking in his completely unstyled hair, and messy clothes. "I... I... This was stupid, I'm sorry, I'll go."

 

"No, Kurt, wait." Sam said, gently stepping between Kurt and the front door. "What's wrong?"

 

"I went to see my dad today. I thought I'd read to him, maybe sing to him. I had an accupuncturist that was going to try and improve his circulation, and I was going to meet with a nutritionist about how best to look after him when he got out... and I found Rachel, and Quinn, and Mercedes there. They were praying over him, and burning candles, and they weren't even sorry that I told them not to. And Finn's mom told me off for telling them not to pray. So... I threw them out, and stayed with my dad until I was thrown out, and then... I couldn't go and stay with Rachel again, and I didn't want to go home to an empty house, and Finn's house is completely off the table. I would have gone to sunshine, but her family are all squeezed into that tiny place, and ... I didn't know where else to go."

 

Sam, watched as Kurt almost fell apart in front of him, and he wrapped an arm around him easily. "It's okay, Kurt. It's okay."

 

"I'll go home. I shouldn't have... not without asking."

 

"Young man, if you think I'm letting you out of this house after what you've been through? You have another thing coming." Sam's mom said quietly but sharply. "I'm going to ask now, are you okay with sharing a room with a boy? I know I tell Samuel that he shouldn't share rooms with girls, but I don't know how your father would feel about it, so I'll leave the decision up to you."

 

"I.... I'm okay with it. Nothing would happen." Kurt whispered, looking between the two. "Sam... Sam said you were christian. Are you sure you're okay with me sleeping under your roof?"

 

Sam's mom laughed softly, "I met Sam's dad at our schools Gay-Straight Alliance. We're both openly bi-sexual. You don't have to worry. In fact, why don't we go and have a little tea, whilst Sam tries to make it look like his room isn't a bomb site."

 

Kurt nodded, and pulled himself away from Sam, watching the boy carefully. "Are you sure..."

 

"Totally." Sam nodded. "I'll find you out some sleep clothes too."

 

"Your brother took the sleeping bag with him, so you'll have to top and tail." His mom called after him, as Sam launched himself back upstairs. "Okay, Honey. Let's go and have a little talk, hmm?"

 

"I... I would appreciate it if we didn't talk of religeon." Kurt said quietly. "I just... I have had a lot of that this week."

 

"That's fine. Would you like to see some embarassing baby photos of Sam?" She offered, setting the kettle to boil. "Or an equally embarrasing one from last halloween, where he swears he was a Na'vi but he looks a lot like a tribal smurf."

 

"Oh. That one." Kurt grinned, clapping his hands a little. "And maybe, you could tell me a little about him? He's a little secretive."

 

"Of course. I like to get to know a little about all his 'boy'friends though, so you have to dish back."

 

Kurt gave a small undignified yelp at that, his eyes going wide. "Boyfriends?"

 

"Oh.... He hadn't.... I assumed, because of the.... Never mind. Please don't mention this to him. Or treat him any differently."

 

"I won't." Kurt assured quickly, "I just.... I thought he was straight."

 

"There's a lot of letters in the gay alphabet, Kurt." 

 

"I'm starting to realise." 

 

* * *

 

 

"Sam... I can't ask you to do this." Kurt said, ducking his head. "You've been so nice already."

 

"And I'll carry on being nice." Sam grinned, nudging Kurt's arm. "You just need to learn to deal with it."

 

Kurt sighed, resting his forehead on the front door. "Coach Bieste won't be happy."

 

"She said that she understands. That somebody should be there for you. And Coach Sylvester said that if you stepped foor on that pitch, she would... You know, biologically, I don't think the things she said she would do are possible. So let's leave it at, she threatened your life, okay?"

 

Kurt laughed shortly. "She probably thinks I wouldn't make a good scapegoat if it looks like I can sing and dance on a football pitch."

 

"Or, she's worried about you." Sam said. "Come on, You need some clothes."

 

Kurt nodded, and unlocked the door, flicking the lights on, and giving out a short scream. "RACHEL!"

 

"I knew you'd have to return at some point, and I thought that waiting in the dark was suitably dramatic." Rachel said, crossing her arms. "Do you know that the people who live across the street have sex with the curtains open?"

 

"Isn't your boyfriend starting Quarterback." Sam said, moving to stand in front of Kurt. 

 

"Excuse us, this is soul mate business."  Rachel held up a hand, and Kurt gently patted him on the arm.

 

"It's okay Sam. I may be a very girly guy, but the day Rachel Berry beats me in a slap fight is the day I hang up my testicles for good." 

 

Sam laughed, before he turned to Kurt. "Want me to go grab somethings from downstairs?"

 

"Yeah." Kurt nodded, "Anything loose and comfortable to sleep in. And my extra facial products from the cabinet in my bathroom."

 

"Which ones."

 

"All of them." 

 

Sam nodded, and headed downstairs, leaving Rachel and Kurt alone.

 

"Kurt..."

 

"Rachel, I don't want to hear it. You know why I hate religeon. You know why I stopped going with you to temple and why I stopped trying to find a religeon that fit me. I don't want that in my life." 

 

"We were just trying to help!"

 

"By what? Saying fancy words, and lighting candles that could end up damaging my dad even more? I wouldn't want that, and you know my Dad wouldn't either."

 

"Then what do you want me to do, Kurt?!" Rachel shouted, throwing her hands up. "I can't sing for you, I can't pray for you.... You won't even let me give you a roof over your head!"

 

"I don't know." Kurt said honestly. "I want my dad healthy, and not because of the will of some omnipotent person who dwells beyond our comprehension. I want to know what's wrong, when he'll be better, and what exactly I can do to stop this from happening again." 

 

"Kurt."

 

"Don't say my name like that! Don't pity me!" Kurt snapped. "I'm gay. According to most people in Ohio, I defy God and all his works. So what? All I've ever needed to get by were my best friends, and my dad. Only I don't have my dad right now. Or my friends."

 

"You always have us, Kurt. Even if we're angry at each other."

 

"I just.... I want my dad back."  Kurt whispered. "I want him to tell me that this is going to be okay."

 

"Uh... Guys?" Sam said, stepping back into the room. "There was an accident. At the football game. Finn's... Finn's on his way to the hospital."

 

* * *

 

 

"I told you all, I'm fine." Finn huffed, nursing his head. "I just went down funny when the guy barreled into me."

 

"Well, Good!" Kurt said, before he punched Finn's good arm. "Because I have one family member in the hospital, and I don't need another one, because he thought he was somehow invincible thanks to a freaking grilled cheese sandwhich!"

 

"Ow!" Finn whined, "Mom, tell him not to hit me."

 

"I'm restraining the urge myself." Carole hissed. "How could you be so..."

 

"I prayed that I would be Quarterback again, and Sam missed the game." Finn snapped, "I mean... I kinda thought that he'd drop off the team completely, but..."

 

"Okay, let's just imagine, for one tiny second, that this whole praying thing would work. Do you know what the quickest way to get Sam off the team would have been? Permenant Injury. So, you're telling us, you wished that a boy who has been nothing but nice to me, would lose some combination of his health, emotional wellbeing and popularity at school?"

 

"He shoved me."  Finn muttered under his breath. 

 

"Oh, you... I don't have words." Kurt threw his hands up. "Do you know what? I don't want to be stuck in this hospital any longer, okay? I'm.... I'm going for air."

 

"Kurt...." Carole stopped him, quietly. "Where are you staying?"

 

"Sam's house. I fell out with Rachel after her little religeous crusade. I'll return to my house when I won't be facing it alone, thank you."

 

"Are you sure you don't..."

 

"I wouldn't want to 'fag' up the place." Kurt shot over his shoulder at Finn with a sneer, before he stormed out. He could hear Finn arguing back at his head, and he knew what he had snapped was completely under the belt and unneccasary. But he was hurting. All he wanted was his dad. His dad, and for this week to be over.

 


	6. Duets: Part One

** Duets **

When Mr Shue first brought up the idea of duets, Kurt was sorely tempted to let him allow people to pair up on their own. He knew that he could ask Sam to duet with him, maybe other the dinner he'd been invited to, and Sam would say Yes. (And, thanks to Sam's loose lipped mother, he knew it would be the perfect way into gauging Sam's interest. Still... 

 

"Mr. Shue? If I may?" Kurt held up a hand, standing. "Now, whilst I am all for the idea of singing duets with each other, and would enjoy the chance to get to sing with people in this group ... No, Noah, not you..." Everyone laughed as Puck deflated a little, "I think that we can all accurately guess what will happen. Finn will sing with Rachel, Puck will sing with his girl of the week which... If I remember correctly is.... Mercedes?"

 

"Dude!" Puck grinned, "Don't tell them!"

 

"Mike will sing with Tina, or dance at any rate. Brittany and Santana will couple, Which leaves Myself, Sunshine, Sam, Artie and Quinn. Now, whilst one of those pairs is fairly obvious, The other is not." 

 

"Your point, Kurt?" Mr Shue asked, watching him carefully. 

 

"I'm asking for a random draw."

 

Mr Shue blinked, and then clapped his hands. "I agree, anyone have any disagreements?"

 

When nobody spoke, Mr Shue rushed off to collect the hat. Puck waited until everyone was speaking before he slipped over to speak to Kurt. "What're you planning?"

 

"No planning. I just don't want to be stuck in the same rut this year. And this way? Everyone has a fair chance." 

 

"Okay!" Mr Shuester grinned, carrying the hat back. "We'll draw them one at a time. If you draw yourself, or someone who has already been drawn, you draw again. Any questions?"

 

"What if you draw a dude?" Finn raised his hand, frowning. "I mean, I'm not sure how cool I am with singing a romantic song with a guy, you know?"

 

"Not all duets are romantic. They can be whatever that are trying to portray." Kurt bit his lip for a second. "Mr Shue, if I may demonstrate, outside of the idea of competition?"

 

"Why?" Mr Shue asked, "I mean, if you have a song already prepared." 

 

"Please." Kurt scoffed, "Like anyone here could beat the combination of myself, Rachel Berry, and year upon year of practice. And, we can all agree that myself and Rachel have no amount of romantic tension between us."

 

"Ooh! That one?" Rachel asked, jumping to her feet. 

 

"Of course."

 

Everyone moved to their seats, and Kurt and Rachel shared a quick grin before they turned back to back, and rested against one another.

 

_**Rachel:** _

_My Dearest Darlingist daddy and popsicle!_

_**Kurt:** _

_My dear Father._

_**Kurt & Rachel:** _

_There's been some confusion over rooming here at Shiz_

**_Kurt:_ **

_But of course I'll care for Nessa._

**_Rachel:_ **

_But of course I'll rise above it._

**_Kurt & Rachel:_ **

_For I know that's how you'd want me to respond._

_Yes. There's been some confussion, for you see my roomate is...._

**_Rachel:_ **

_Unusually, and Exceedingly perculiar, and all together quite impossible for me to describe._

**_Kurt:_ **

_...Rachel._

Kurt and Rachel slid easily into the next part as a couple of people laughed in the audience. 

**_Rachel:_ **

_What is this feeling, so sudden and new..._

**_Kurt:_ **

_I felt the moment, I laid eyes on you_

**_Rachel:_ **

_My pulse is rushing_

**_Kurt:_ **

_My head is reeling_

**_Rachel:_ **

_My face is flushing!_

**_Kurt & Rachel:_ **

_What is this feeling?_

_Fervered as a flame,_

_does it have a name?_

_Yes....._

_Loathing!_

_Unadulterated Loathing!_

**_Rachel:_ **

_For your face!_

**_Kurt:_ **

_Your voice!_

**_Rachel:_ **

_Your clothing!_

**_Kurt & Rachel:_ **

_Let's just say_

_I loath it all!_

_Every little trait however small,_

_makes my very flesh begin to crawl_

_With simple utter Loathing_

_There's a strange exhilleration_

_In such total Detestation!_

_It's so pure and so strong!_

_Though I do admit it came on fast_

_Still I do believe that it can last!_

_And I will be loathing you...._

_My whole life long!_

 

Puck quickly picked up the next part, rushing foward with tina to prostate themselves at Rachel's feet.

 

**_Puck & Tina:_ **

_Dear Galinda you are just too good!_

_How can you stand it I don't think I could._

**_Puck:_ **

_He's a terror._

**_Tina:_ **

_He's a tarter._

**_Puck & Tina:_ **

_We don't mean to show a bias, but Galinda you're a martyr!_

**_Rachel:_ **

_Well._

_These things are sent to try us._

**_Puck & Tina:_ **

_Poor Galinda, Forced to reside,_

_with someone so disgusting and snide_

_We just want to tell you, we're all on your side!_

_We share your Loathing!_

**_Kurt & Rachel / Puck & Tina_ **

_What is this feeling / ..._

_So sudden and new? /Unadulterated loathing!_

_I felt the moment I laid eyes on you! / For her face her voice her clothing_

_My pulse is rushing, My Head is reeling/ Let's just say..._

_..../ We loathing it all!_

_Oh, What is this feeling! / Every little trait however small!_

_Does it have a name / Makes our very skin begin to crawl_

**_Kurt & Rachel:_ **

_Yes.... Ahhhhhh_

_Loathing!_

_(loathing)_

_There's a strange Exhilleration!_

_(loathing)_

_In such totaly Detestation!_

_(loathing)_

_It's so pure and so stroooong!_

_Though I do admit it came on fast, still I do believe that it can last_

**_Rachel:_ **

_And I will be loathing, for for ever._

**_Kurt:_ **

_Loathing, truely deeply_

**_Kurt & Rachel:_ **

_Loathing you!!!_

_My whole life Looooong!_

 

When they finished, they both felt exhillerated. Every note had been perfect, and the audience loved their performance.

 

"I vote Rachel and Kurt should not be allowed to pair together!" Santana held up a hand. "Because, I am not folllowing a performance like that."

 

"Damn right." Mercedes nodded quickly. "Or Puck, either! Who knows what they're hiding there."

 

"They're onto us." Puck mock whispered to Rachel and Kurt, making them grin.

 

"I hope that allayed your fear that duets have to be sexual. It's all about the intention you put behind them. Much like any song." Kurt laughed, taking Rachel's hand. "And, just so you're all sure? I don't hate Rachel."

 

"Okay, you pick first." Santana gestured, and Mr. Shue offered the hat for a moment, before he paused, and slapped himself on the forehead.

 

"I forgot to mention. The winners of the duet competition will get.... 4 free vouchers to breadstix!" Mr Shue said, holding up two. "I only have two at the moment, but the winners should have a chance to take their significant others."

 

"I got.... The unimitable Santana Lopez." Kurt forced himself to grin at the girl. "I'm sure we'll blow them out of the water."

 

Santana grinned, raising an eyebrow. "We better Hummel, because I am going to breadstix, even if I have to sell your body to science to pay for it."

 

"Charming." Kurt hummed, rolling his eyes."

 

"Me next!" Finn jumped for the hat, grabbing a name. "Sam, dude. You're with me." 

 

"We'll think of something awesome." Sam grinned, offering his fist for a bump. Kurt watched Sam carefully, even as Santana droned on in his ear about a wheelbarrow full of breadsticks.

 

Finally, she worked out he wasn't listening. "Tell me it's the blondie, and not Finnessa again."

 

"What?"

 

"The one you're crushing on." Santana smirekd, "If we're partnering, you're sharing all your secrets with Auntie Snix."

 

"I'm not." Kurt huffed, raising his nose and looking away. 

 

"Fine... You know... He has the perfect kind of lips for...."

 

"Brittany!" Kurt shouted louder than he intended, and then blushed. "I mean, Brittany should go next. And Quinn, so we can get to Cheerios practice on time."

 

"Okay!" Brittany hopped to her feet and grabbed a name. "Mike!"

 

Tina, who had just been about to grab that piece, glared at Kurt. Kurt forced himself to look a little sorry, even if he thought that Tina could do with some time not attached to Mike's hips or lips. "I drew Quinn." Tina said, turning to the blonde girl. "I think I have something we could work with... if you want..."

 

"That sounds great." Quinn assured, as Brittany assaulted Mike with a torrent of words. Kurt couldn't understand most, but he picked up that they were arranging a time to meet.

 

"And I'll go last, so that theres a chance I won't be paired with Noah." Rachel hummed, reaching into the hat. "Mercedes Jones." 

 

"Joy." Mercedes dead panned, rolling her eyes when Kurt glared. "We better smash Santana and Kurt into the ground."

 

"I have an idea already." Rachel clapped her hands. "Is that all for this class, Mr. Shue?"

 

"Yes," Mr Shue grinned. "Puck, Artie and Sunshine will sing a group number together, and feel free to ask other people to be a part of your performances."

 

* * *

 

 

Kurt took a moment to ground himself before he knocked on the Evan's front door. This was.... Nerve wracking. Terrifying. Completely out of his comfort zone. There was absolutely no kind of barrier here, like when his father was ill. Now he was coming to Sam's house, to have dinner with his family, for no reason other than he had been invited.

 

It was the reminder that he had been invited that gave him the confidence to knock on the door finally, though it turned out not to be an issue as two blonde streaks shot out as he raised his fist, and cowered behind him.

 

"You can't splash guests!" One of them cried, high and full of laughter. 

 

"You can't use guests as shields!" Sam's voice came from further in the house, and Kurt watched in half terror as he shot out, and skidded to a stop in front of Kurt with a squeeze bottle full of water. "Hey Kurt."  He grinned, lowering the bottle to his side. Kurt's eyes went with the movement, taking in the smooth skin of Sam's chest, and the shirt hanging from his waistband, obviously wet. Kurt caught himself before he could be considered to be staring, and returned to looking into Sam's eyes.

 

"This is getting to be a habit." Kurt said calmly, forcing his eyes to stay on Sam's face.

 

Sam blinked, looking down before he realised what Kurt meant. "Oh! They... uh, there was a water bomb, and they..." Sam chuckled, shaking his head. "Sorry, I know it's not a pretty sight." 

 

"I think I'll disagree." Kurt hummed a little, grinning. "Am I going to be introduced to my captors?"

 

"Oh! Stacey, Stevie come out from behind him and say hello." Even as Sam spoke, the two blonde children pulled themselves out from behind Kurt and looked him over.

 

"Hi, I'm Stacey!" The girl said holding out a hand. Kurt shook it gently.

 

"Stevie." The boy said, shaking Kurt's hand quickly before they both ran off upstairs.

 

"So... uh, yeah. I have a little brother and sister." Sam looked into the house. "Why don't you come in and talk to my mom whilst I go get dressed?"

 

"Of course." Kurt stepped through the threshold, trying not to blush when Sam threw an arm around him and lead him to the kitchen, depositing him in a chair and vanishing to places unknown.

 

"Good evening, Kurt." 

 

"Good evening, Mrs. Evans." 

 

"Please, call me Mary." Mrs. Evans looked over her shoulder and grinned as she stirred some sauce. "Maybe you can convince Sam to eat actual food with us."

 

"What you're cooking smells delicous." Kurt said, with a grin. "Is he picky?"

 

"Every day he cuts another item or food group off his list, and then he binges." Mrs Evans sighed. "He won't believe me or Dwight that he looks fine."

 

"Mom!" Sam grumbled, slipping back into the room with a long sleeve shirt on. "Kurt didn't come for that."

 

"Well, you hid your smurf picture, so..."

 

"Na'vi." Sam rolled his eyes. "I was a Na'vi." He repeated to Kurt, his eyes willing him to understand.

 

"I'm sure you were." Kurt assured, patting Sam's shoulder. "So, what are you and Finn going to sing?"

 

"Oh, god. Espionage already?" Sam grinned, shouldering Kurt gentlty. "I thought you'd wait until we were eating."

 

"Well I need as much time as possible to counter the sheer sex appeal." Kurt laughed. "Santana says that's our selling point."

 

Sam frowned for a moment, before he forced a smile. "What're you singing?"

 

"I'm thinking a musical number." Kurt hummed. "Rachel and Mercedes will do something from Rent."

 

"How do you know?" Mrs. Evans asked, grinning. "Are they that obvious?"

 

"More because I got a text telling me to leave that musical alone, or she'd hunt me down and kill me." Kurt laughed. "I was considering a Lady Gaga number. If I were with Tina, we'd do a poppier dance number."

 

"I think Mike and Brittany would smoke you." Sam said, before he suddenly looked worried. "Not that you aren't amazing, but..."

 

"I totally get it. They're going to be relying heavily on dance." Kurt assured quietly. "I guess I need to look at elaborate staging and costuming instead. Santana can't play an instrument, so we can't pull off a band feel..."

 

"You could always sing something more heartfelt? Like you did for Burt?" Sam pointed out.

 

"Maybe, but I don't know how well that'd work for both me and Santana." Kurt admitted. "We don't really have any strong emotions for each other to play off."

 

"Why don't you go up to Sam's room and talk about it." Mrs. Evans offered. "I still have to make the pasta and things. I'll call you when we're ready." Sam nodded, and Kurt quickly found himself spirited upstairs. When Kurt was in Sam's bedroom, the boy opened his mouth to speak, but he was cut off from a yell from downstairs. "SAM!"

 

"Be right back." Sam blushed, and gestured to his bed. "Make yourself comfortable, my comics are there, and you can work my CD player."

 

Kurt nodded quickly, and the blonde spared him a grin, before he rushed back downstairs.

 

Kurt gently sat on the bed, grabbing the first comic and flicking it open. Even a Marvel-ite like himself could place it as a Batman comic, focused on the exploits of Selina Kyle. Or, Catwoman. A little differently from how Kurt expected, it portrayed her in a heroic light. It didn't take out any of her sharp barbs or anything, but she was definitely a hero. 

 

The next one was an X-Men comic. Kurt had done a little scouting on the subject, to better acquaint himself with the Scarlet Witch. This one was focused on Emma Frost, and Kurt resisted the small part of his mind that pointed out that both of these comics had focused on strong women. 

 

_Maybe Sam's decided to turn to girls after all._

 

"Dude, you like Emma Frost?" Sam asked as he jumped onto the bed. "She is bad ass."

 

"A little bit of a bitch though." Kurt pointed out, after checking the door was shut.

 

"Kinda, she reminds me of you sometimes." Sam snorted, knocking Kurt's elbow. "You can take people apart with your words."

 

"Just because I made Tina cry does not mean I can take people apart."

 

"Your dressing downs are legendary in the locker room."

 

"I'm glad I'm amusing." Kurt muttered, crossing his arms.

 

"I wouldn't say amusing. I think I saw Karofsky cry once." Sam snickered. "Face it. Your mutant power is ripping people apart with a minimum amount of words."

 

"So, who do you like?" Kurt changed the topic. "Emma?"

 

"Emma's awesome. But Kitty's amazing, you know?"

 

Kurt couldn't help but giggle. "Wow, another Quarterback who likes tiny jewish girls." 

 

"Not like that, dude." Sam snorted. "If you wanna know who I find hot? It'd have to be...." 

 

"Spare me the lewd details." Kurt held up a hand, blushing.

 

"Who do you like?" Sam asked quietly. "You a Scott guy? Or a Logan guy?"

 

"..." Kurt didn't answer, tensing up. 

 

_"So, who do you like, huh? This guy, or this one?"_

 

_"I don't..."_

_"He asked you a question, Fag! Which one of us beats the shit out of you."_

_Kurt glanced up, feeling vomit rise into his throat. Luckily, Puck turned the corner at that moment, and barreled at the three jocks, knocking them to the ground._

"Kurt? You kind of spaced." Sam said, shaking Kurt's shoulder.

 

"Just... not used to that question." Kurt shrugged. "Usually when people ask that, it's for a chance for them to beat me up after."

 

Sam frowned, removing his hand, and then opening his arms. "Hug it out?"

 

Kurt laughed, patting Sam's arm. "I don't hug boys."

 

"Oh." Sam dropped his arms. "At all?"

 

"Not often. Puck being the exception." Kurt shrugged. "I just... I'm a Bobby boy."

 

"Oh?" Sam grinned, "You like the Iceman?"

 

"What can I say? The occasional California Beach boy look gets me. And the fact that one of the twins who plays him is gay? That certainly tipped me over the edge."

 

"I think I'd pick Remy." Sam grinned, "Something about the french accent, man."

 

"Oui, Mon Ami." Kurt laughed at Sam turned to him. "What?"

 

"N-nothing." Sam stumbled out, crossing his legs. "So... Uh, what're you going to sing?"

 

"I ... may have an idea." Kurt admitted, glancing at the comic in his hands. "I just need to get over some pronouns."

 

"Think of it as a really gay song? Like, you go girl." Sam snapped his fingers in a Z formation, making Kurt giggle for a moment, resting his head on Sam's shoulder. Sam grinned down at him, for a moment, before he whispered. "You're pretty when you laugh."

 

"Oh?" Kurt asked, looking up.

 

"Yeah." Sam nodded. Kurt watched as his tongue flicked out to wet his lips. "Is... Is it cool for me to say that?"

 

"Definitely." Kurt said quietly, resisting the urge to lean in and kiss him right then and there. "Sam?"

 

"Yuh-huh?"

 

"Are...." Kurt paused, before shaking his head. "Never mind."

 

"Dude, you can ask me anything." Sam assured, resting a hand on Kurt's arm, and turning both their bodies to look at each other. 

 

"Do... Do you maybe...." Kurt blushed bright red. It... He couldn't ask. "Do you dye your hair?"

 

"Yes." Sam said quickly, before he caught up with the conversation. "I mean, what? Do I... What?"

 

"I have the mutant ability to tell when it comes from a bottle." Kurt laughed awkwardly reaching up to tug a lock of hair. 

 

"Oh... Yeah." Sam blinked, "It's lemon juice. Thought it made me look cooler." 

 

"I hope you're using the right shampoo." Kurt said, smiling warmly. "Maybe I could help you pick some out."

 

"Yeah. I'd like that." Sam grinned, internally kicking himself. He was so sure Kurt was going to make the first move, and now.... Did this count as a date?

 

"SAM!" His mom yelled upstairs. "DINNER!"

 

* * *

 

 

"Myself and Mercedes wanted to show another form of duet." Rachel's voice filled the auditorium, from behind the curtain. Kurt watched for any hints, but leaned into Santana.

 

"We need to go last. First or Last." 

 

"Got it." Santana nodded, before she yelled "What's the hold up!"

 

"Let's get right to it, then." Rachel's voice came out, as they both wheeled out a piece of set built from scaffolding, dressed in dark jeans or micro skirt in Rachels case, and black shirts under black leather jackets.

 

"Bitches stole my costumes." Kurt hissed, gripping the arm rests on either side as the music started up. "Oh, I am killing Rachel."

 

**_(Mercedes)_ **

_What's the time?_

_Well it's gotta be close to midnight._

_My body's talking to me,_

_it says time for danger_

**_(Rachel)_ **

_It says I wanna commit a crime_

_Wanna be the cause of a fight!_

_Wanna put on a tight skirt_

_and flirt, with a stranger._

**_(Mercedes)_ **

_I've had a nack_

_from way back_

_at breaking the rules_

_once I learned the game!_

**_(Rachel)_ **

_Get up, lifes too quick_

_I know some place Sick!_

_Where this chick'll_

_dance in the flames._

**_(Mercedes)_ **

_We don't need any money_

**_(Rachel)_ **

_I always get in for free_

**_(Mercedes)_ **

_You can get in too_

**_(Rachel)_ **

_If you get in with me!_

**_(Rachel & Mercedes)_ **

_Let's go!_

_Out tonight_

_I have to go_

_Out tonight!_

**_(Mercedes)_ **

_You wanna play?_

_Let's run away!_

_We won't be back before_

_it's new years day!_

**_(Rachel)_ **

_Take me out, tonight!_

_Meow_

_Ha!_

**_(Mercedes)_ **

_Mmmmmyeah_

**_(Rachel)_ **

_When I get away from the doorman,_

_Do you know how lucky you'll be?_

_That you're online with the feline_

_of Avenue B._

**_(Rachel & Mercedes)_ **

_Let's go!_

_Out tonight_

_I have to go_

_Out tonight!_

**_(Rachel)_ **

_You wanna prowl?_

_Be my night owl_

_Well take my hand we're gonna howl_

_Out tonight._

**_(Mercedes)_ **

_In the evening I've got to roam_

_Can't sleep in the city of neon and chrome_

_feels too damn much like home,_

_when the spanish babies cry_

**_(Rachel)_ **

_So lets find a bar_

_So dark we forget who we are!_

_Where all the scars_

_from the nevers and maybes_

_Die!_

**_(Mercedes)_ **

_Let's go out tonight!_

**_(Rachel)_ **

_I have to go out tonight!_

**_(Mercedes)_ **

_You're sweet!_

**_(Rachel)_ **

_Wanna hit the street?_

**_(Mercedes)_ **

_Wanna wail at the moon like a cat in heat?_

**_(Rachel)_ **

_Just take me out Tonight_

**_(Rachel & Mercedes)_ **

_Please take me out tonight_

_Don't forsake me, Out tonight_

_I'll let you make me out tonight_

_Tonight, Tonight Tonight_

 

The room burst into applause, and even Kurt bregrudgingly clapped along. Santana watched him carefully, with a small smirk. "Is it on now?"

 

"Oh, it is so on." Kurt grumbled. "My house tonight. I have a song. I have hotter costumes, and we need to look at a routine.

 

"Is anyone else ready to perform?" Mr Shuester asked, looking around.

 

"We are!" Sam said, raising his hands. "Uh, we don't need a band though." 

 

"Calm down now, or Guppy will think you're mad at him." Santana said, patting his arm. 

 

"Be nice, Satan." Kurt warned as he sat back down. 

 

**_(Sam)_ **

_ok, so, who doesn't own a cell phone_

_who brought back their permission slip_

_because i know nobody wants to stay home_

_while the rest of us go out and make a day of it_

_cause theme parks are so much more fun when the sun's outside_

_and i lost my phone to the lake beneath the batman ride_

**_(Finn)_ **

_they're starting something, and i don't want to begin it_

_they're looking for trouble, but with me it won't be found_

_and i regret that i'm completely out of daytime minutes_

_and so i guess i'll have to wait a lot till 8 o'clock comes around_

_ok, so, who doesn't own a cell phone_

_well i don't need to ask my friends_

_because i know mine was fastened to my jawbone_

_thanks to all those nights and weekends_

**_(Sam)_ **

_cause theme parks are so much more fun when the sun's outside_

_and i lost my phone to the lake beneath the batman ride_

**_(Finn & Sam)_ **

_they're starting something, and i don't want to begin it_

_they're looking for trouble, but with me it won't be found_

_and i regret that i'm completely out of daytime minutes_

_and so i guess i'll have to wait a lot till 8 o'clock comes around_

**_(Finn)_ **

_when it comes to relationships i'm the dumbest one_

**_(Sam)_ **

_and i don't mean just with girls, i mean with everyone_

**_(Finn)_ **

_your illustrations always point out just what's wrong with me_

**_(Sam)_ **

_it's chapstick, and chapped lips, and things like chemistry_

**_(Finn & Sam)_ **

_it's chapstick, and chapped lips, and things like_

_it's chapstick, and chapped lips, and things like_

_it's chapstick, and chapped lips, and things like chemistry_

**_(Sam)_ **

_can i relate to you the way you relate to me_

_can you help me out with my chemistry_

_i don't want to be precieved the way i am_

_i just want to be percieved the way i am_

 

 

The applause came again, and this time Kurt was right there at the forefront, miming throwing Sam a rose. Sam laughed, sliding his guitar off his shoulder, and bowing to Kurt.

 

"Guys that was amazing, but... What did it mean?" Mr. Shuester asked looking between them. "Finn?"

 

"Uh.... Sam liked the song." Finn glanced at the blond as he fiddled with the drumsticks. "I just like playing drums."

 

"Sam?" Mr Shuester asked again, looking at him.

 

"Well, for me it had a lot of points. One of which is very personal to me, that was obvious if you understood what I meant. It also explored the concept of peer pressure, and the fact that you can only enjoy things with the right conditions. Which is why I'm formally saying that Glee Club is my main commitment from now on. I don't like what the guys have been saying, and what they've been implying and doing. I'm not in a position to start a fight, but I wouldn't want to either. Instead I'd rather surround myself with good people like the people in this room and be happy in this situation, and be ready to defend it."

 

"Very smart." Mr Shue grinned. "Okay, give it up again for our first two duets."

 

* * *

 

 

Kurt grinned as Santana chattered in his ears about something, paying careful attention to the bag at his feet. Sam had had to cancel on their mall trip, but Kurt had gone anyway, and bought several bottles of the best brand he could. If Sam insisted on mistreating his hair, Kurt would have to make sure that he gave it a little TLC every now and then.

 

The happy feeling in his chest froze a moment later, as the last four people entered the room. Tina and Mike were still disgustingly cute as they walked in chatting.

 

And behind them, Sam was whispering in Quinn's ear as she giggled and practically draped herself over his side. 

 

Kurt was stuck on the spot, as Sam looked up and nodded at him before returning to conversation with Quinn.

 

"If her chest was pressed against him any tighter, she'd be inside him." Santana whispered in his ear, making Kurt jolt.

 

"Don't be ridiculous." He snapped, "I'm sure they're just walking together."

 

"Yeah, you tell yourself that, Kurtie." Santana's voice was almost too mocking, and Kurt forced his face and body to shut down a little, so he didn't cry or run or scream or anything. 

 

"Okay, so, I was still a little buzzed about Brittany week, and the fact I didn't get to hallucinate or sing a solo." Tina introduced the song, grinning at Kurt. "So, I chose the song, and we asked the boys to help out. And.... there we go." 

 

**_(Tina)_ **

_I saw him dancing there by the record machine_

_I knew he must've been about seventeen_

_The beat was going strong,_

_playing my favourite song_

_I could tell that it wouldn't be long,_

_until he was with me, yeah me._

_I could tell that it wouldn't be long,_

_until he was with me, yeah me._

**_(Tina & Quinn)_ **

_Singing,_

_I love Rock and Roll_

_So, put another dime in the juke box baby_

_I love Rock and Roll_

_So, come on, take the time, and dance with me!_

**_(Quinn)_ **

_He smiled so I got up and asked for his name,_

_But that don't even matter, he said cause it's all the same_

_He said can I take you home?_

_So we can be alone._

_And next, we were moving on,_

_and he was with me yeah me,_

_We were moving on and singing_

_that same old song, yeah me._

**_(Tina & Quinn)_ **

_Singing,_

_I love Rock and Roll_

_So, put another dime in the juke box baby_

_I love Rock and Roll_

_So, come on, take the time, and dance with me!_

_I love rock and roll_

_Cause it soothes my soul_

_I love rock and roll_

**_(Tina)_ **

_He said can I take you home?_

_So we can be alone._

**_(Quinn)_ **

_And next, we were moving on,_

_and he was with me yeah me,_

_We were moving on and singing_

_that same old song, yeah me._

**_(Tina & Quinn)_ **

_Singing,_

_I love Rock and Roll_

_So, put another dime in the juke box baby_

_I love Rock and Roll_

_So, come on, take the time, and dance with me!_

_I love Rock and Roll_

_So, put another dime in the juke box baby_

_I love Rock and Roll_

_So, come on, take the time, and dance with me!_

_I love Rock and Roll_

_So, put another dime in the juke box baby_

_I love Rock and Roll_

_So, come on, take the time, and dance with me!_

 

 

Kurt forced himself to watch the performance. Mike and Tina were cute, toying with each other a little and all the movements perfectly nice and respectable.

 

Quinn practically used Sam as a stripper pole. And if the dopey grin was any indication, Sam wasn't complaining.

 

It made perfect sense. Head Cheerio, with the Quarterback. Both were christian. They could get married and have annoyingly cute blonde haired children.

 

"Oooh, that bitch." Santana snickered in Kurt's ear. "Guess you missed out, Hummel." 

 

Kurt bit his lip hard as he avoided Sam's gaze, passing the bag to Puck. "Give those to Sam, tell him no charge and to consider it a thank you present for fulfilling his duties as a good person to give me a place to stay." 

 

"What's wrong." Puck asked, grabbing Kurt's hand. "You look..."

 

"Not now, Noah. I'm going to the gym." Kurt said, pulling his hand away and walking out, even as the group swarmed the four performers.

 

 

* * *

 

 

_Shut up and let me go_

_This hurts I told you so_

_For the last time you will kiss my lips_

_now shut up and let me go_

_Your jeans were once so clean I bet you've changed your wardrobe since we met_

_Now, Oh so easily, you're over me_

_Gone and left_

_It's you who ought to be holding me_

_I'm not containable_

_this time love is not attainable_

_I ain't freaking_

_I ain't faking this_

_I ain't freaking_

_I ain't faking this_

_I ain't freaking_

_I ain't faking this_

_Shut up and let me go!_

_Hey!_

_Shut up and let me go_

_This hurts but I can't show_

_For the last time you've had me in bits_

_Now shut up and let me go_

_for fear of living in regret I've changed this from when we first met_

_Now, Oh so easily, you're over me_

_Gone and left_

_It's me who ought to be moving on_

_You're not adorable_

_I was something unignorable_

_I ain't freaking_

_I ain't faking this_

_I ain't freaking_

_I ain't faking this_

_I ain't freaking_

_I ain't faking this_

_Shut up and let me go!_

_Hey!_

_Oh_

_Love_

_Hold_

_This._

_Hey._

_Shut up and let me go_

_This hurts I told you so_

_For the last time you will kiss my lips_

_now shut up and let me go_

_Hey!_

Kurt laughed, clapping his hands with the rest of them, and rushing to grab Brittany for a hug. "It was amazing Sweetie!"

 

"I know. Duh." Brittany laughed. "Mike helped too."

 

"I saw. Smooth moves, Michael." Kurt shouted over, getting a vague nod. He hugged Brittany again for a moment, before grabbing his bag. 

 

Sam stopped him by stepping right behind him. "Will you talk to me?"

 

Kurt swallowed his hurt and annoyance, and smiled pleasantly. "Of course. What would you like to discuss?"

 

"The fact you're avoiding my calls." Sam pointed out. "And, you know, me in general."

 

"I haven't been. I'm just working very hard on my duet. The talent level is higher than I expected. We've seen good use of staging and technique, chemistry, ability with instruments and dance. I've had to funnel a lot of effort into my own work." Kurt said carefully, shifting his bag higher.

 

"What did I do wrong Kurt? I can't fix it if you don't tell me!"

 

"You did nothing wrong. You were very honourable, and a good friend. This is my issue, and the best way to.... fix it, is to let me focus on my work for a while." Kurt smiled again. "I've got to go. Safe journey."

 

Sam was torn for a moment as Kurt walked away, all he wanted to do was shout that he liked Kurt.... Although it might not be the best way to do it.

 

Puck wandered over, slapping his hand onto Sam's shoulder. "Dude, you've fucked up somewhere."

 

"I know." Sam groaned, rolling his eyes. "But I've gone over it in my head a hundred times, and I can't work out where!"

 

"So... You invited him to Dinner?"

 

"Yeah. And we almost kissed, and there was a moment when I thought he'd finally ask me if I was gay. But he backed down and asked if I dyed my hair."

 

Puck stared at Sam for a long moment, before he punched Sam's arm. "What did I tell you!"

 

"What?"

 

"Dude, only gay guys dye their hair. Kurt was asking if you were gay!" Puck went to punch Sam's arm again, but Sam moved out of the way. "What did you do after?"

 

"Uh... Helped Quinn with her performance. She's been nice."

 

"Yeah, that won't last." Puck snorted, "At the moment, you're valuable. When that runs out, you'll be lucky if you escape her wrath." 

 

"And then he just... shut me out."

 

Puck considered it for a moment, before he grabbed Sam's arm. "Okay, this is getting way too fucking ridiculous. Come on."

 

"What're we doing?" Sam asked as he was dragged from the room.

 

"Getting this dealt with so I can go and get my drink on with Artie and Sunshine." Puck grumbled, shaking his head.

 


	7. Duets: Part Two

**Duets  
**

 

"You know, most people need an invitation." Kurt huffed, crossing his arms at the two boys sat on his bed. He'd just come in, and his dad had just gestured to his bedroom, so Kurt knew it would either be Rachel or Puck.

 

"Okay, I'm dealing with this quickly and efficiently, okay?" Puck said, glancing between the two of them. "This is a safe space, nobody here is going to hurt or ridicule anyone. Nobody will spread gossip. Yada yada yada." Puck looked at them both pointedly until they both nodded. "Okay, Kurt. Sam is ridiculously hot, right?"

 

"Noah!" Kurt blushed, mouth gaping.

 

"Don't have time for freak outs Hummel." Puck said, with a small glare. "Sam. Bangable. Yay or Nay."

 

"Well, I guess Yay." Kurt hissed.

 

"Okay, half solved." Puck said, turning to Sam. "Sam, Kurt is very pretty, right?"

 

"Right"

 

"Okay, Three Quarters solved." Puck said turning back to Kurt. "Kurt, ask Sam on a date."

 

"I'm not asking a straight boy out on a date, for him to say yes out of pity or a sense of duty, or for fun." 

 

"Oh god, you're worse than Santana with your ridiculous obsession with confusing yourself." Puck moaned, squeezing the bridge of his nose. "Sam, do you like Quinn?"

 

"Uh... She's okay, I suppose. I just wanted to give her a hand, so I could see what working with different people was like." 

 

"Right, Kurt! Remind me, IT's LG.... what?"

 

"BTQ or I" Kurt crossing his arms.

 

"And we decided I'm Q, because I like macking on dudes, and don't mind helping them out in threesomes, as long as there's a chick involved, right?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"So, from that, we can take that not all guys who like guys are as gay as you." Puck said, not mincing words. "We can also point out that some people have weird rules about what they think is okay, right?"

 

"Yes, Noah."

 

"Right, try two. Ask Sam out on a date." Puck gestured.

 

"Sam, I find the idea of persuing a romantic, and potentially sexual, relationship with you apealing." Kurt said, his speech very quick. "Would you consider going on a date with me."

 

"We already kind of did." Sam grumbled. "Do you think I invite every guy in the world to sleep at my house, and miss games for them, and invite them to dinner." 

 

Puck sighed, "Right, you know what? Fuck. It." 

 

"What?" Kurt and Sam both said, looking at Puck like he was crazy.

 

"I've tried forcing you both to say it or ask it outloud. So we're going to do this with even less subtlty. Ready? Raise your hand if you've ever held hands with a guy."

 

Three hands went up.

 

"Good, Raise your hand if you've ever kissed a guy." 

 

Again, three hands.

 

"Great. Last one. Raise your hand if you want Kurt Hummel to ask you out on a date."

 

Sam raised his hand before he realised it, and then with a sigh dropped it. "Okay, I get your point, and I hope Kurt does too. Kurt? I like you. You're cute, and you're awesome. I don't ask guys out on dates. I don't push for relationships or anything like that. I have dated a few guys, and helped them figure out their sexuality, but always on their terms. Which is why this is so hard, because I don't know how to..."

 

"Will you go on a date with me?" Kurt asked plainly. "I mean... If one of us wins the duet competition, we should take the other, right?"

 

"... Yeah." Sam said simply. grinning.

 

"Awesome. So, to recap." Puck said pointing at Kurt. "You want to bang... or be banged, no judgement... Sam." He turned to point at Sam. "You want to pursue a relationship with Kurt. You have both agreed to a mutual date at Breadstix once this is all over. I'm going to chip in and say that even without free vouchers, you are going on that date. After that, you'll consider your options. Okay? Good? Can I please go and drink with Sunshine now?"

 

"Yes. Go." Kurt gestured. "I feel like me and Sam need to have a discussion that isn't so rushed."

 

"Thank you." Puck grunted, before he rushed out of the basement.

 

"That was... the weirdest thing I think I've ever been a part of." Sam said quietly, before he cocked his head and shook it. "No, just remembered LARPing."

 

"Puck is big on rushing forward with these things." Kurt said quietly. "Just... This isn't a bet, or anything right?"

 

"No, not at all." Sam quickly assured, standing. "I really want to go on a date with you."

 

"Just making sure." Kurt said, with a soft laugh, "I don't want to ruin my first date."

 

"Oh." Sam blinked. "Suddenly, this makes a lot more sense." 

 

Kurt nodded. "I... Are you gay? Or Bisexual?"

 

"Neither." Sam shook his head. "I think... The closest I can think of is Pansexual, but that's not right either. I fall in love with people, not there... junk, you know? And I'll admit, I'm more comfortables with those that identify as girls, but I don't discount boys. I just... feel better with them approaching me."

 

"Ah." Kurt nodded, cocking his head. "I'm just gay."

 

Sam was about to say something, when Kurt started laughing. "Are you okay?"

 

"I just... I never thought I'd get a chance to say that." Kurt giggled, holding his stomach. 

 

Sam grinned, offering his arms. "Hug it out?"

 

"Fine." Kurt rolled his eyes, and awkwardly shuffled forward, patting Sam's back with one arm. He jumped when Sam wrapped his arms around Kurt and pulled him close. Kurt could feel him breathing in against his neck.

 

"I'm sorry I'm such a fuck up. I don't know what I fucked up and made you so upset, but I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't just work out how to ask you out on a date."

 

Kurt paused for a moment before her wrapped his arms around Sam too and pulled even closer. "It's fine, Sam. We've got a date now, don't we?"

 

"Yeah." Sam laughed, and squeezed Kurt one last time before pulling back. "I'm gonna warn you though. This is the first time I've had ideas about what I want to do to another boy."

 

"Ideas?" Kurt grinned, glancing up the stairs. "Well... This is our fourth date."

 

"Oh?" Sam blinked.

 

"Hmm. We had the day we watched Rocky Horror. The day you dropped the football game for me. The dinner with your family, and today. So... I suppose I could... Kiss you." Kurt said, watching Sam's eyes for any sign of reluctance.

 

He found none, as Sam leaned forward and kissed him deeply.

 

* * *

 

Sam Evans knew he had a high sex drive. 

 

It was just a fact.

 

He liked sexual stuff. It was fun, and he felt close to people when he did it. It relieved stress and made him feel amazing for a few minutes when he came, either by himself or on his own.

 

And kissing Kurt had been awesome. Like... Jerk-off fantasy for two days straight, without any added bits to the kissing or anything in his mind. 

 

So, Sam Evans was wondering why Kurt had said that he wasn't allowed to see Kurt until Kurt was performing his duet. Something about needing it to be fair, and Sam being too distracting to let that happen. He was taking it as a compliment. Hopefully.

 

"Okay, are we all here?" Mr Shuester asked, looking around. "It's been a long week, but we only have two more performances left. First up, we have Kurt and Santana. They have warned this song contains a curseword used repeatedly."

 

"And Kurt warns that if anyone starts referring to him as a Super-Girl. he will cut them with his sais." Rachel added, crossing her arms. "Gender Neutrality was impossible to find in this song."

 

"And with that... Take it away, Kurt and Santana!" Mr. Shuester shouted, and everyone settled in as the lights went down on the stage and the Auditorium.

 

The first spot light hit the stage, lighting Santana. She stood just to the right, and for a moment, Sam wondered how she had got there so quickly. Then he saw her outfit, and (along with several other male members.... and Tina) made a very undignified noise. There was just so much black leather and latex, and ... Was that a whip? 

 

Catwoman. That's who she was. 

 

The second light hit Kurt, and this time, Sam made no noise, as his jaw dropped. 

 

White leather. Lots and lots of missing pieces in said white leather. The pants were laced up the side, with only the waistband connecting the two pieces of material with any degree of stability. His top looked very complex, as there was nothing holding it up on his neck or chest, and it clung to Kurt's body, with strategically missing pieces. The gloves were also pure white, and reached over his elbows. His entire demeanor was enough to stop anyone from taking him as anything other than serious, almost as though he was judging each and everyone of them for what they were thinking.

 

Sam suddenly had a new respect for Emma Frost. Kurt totally pulled off the look that bordered on BDSM gear.

 

As the light spread, Sam became vaguely aware of backup dancers in the background, all dressed like prison convicts or super villainesses

 

Satana's whip cracked through the air, startling everyone, and prompting the band to start.

 

 

**_(Santana)_ **

_Step back_

_I'mma come at you fast_

_Spinning out of control_

_and getting ready to crash_

_Won't stop_

_Shaking up what I can_

_I save it up in a shot_

_So suck it down like a man_

**_(Kurt)_ **

_So baby_

_Yes I know what I am_

_And I don't give a damn_

_And you'll be loving it_

**_(Santana & Kurt)_ **

_Some day's I'm a Super-bitch_

_Up to my old tricks_

_but it won't last forever_

_Next day  I'm your Super-girl_

_Out to save the world,_

_And it keeps getting better_

**_(Kurt)_ **

_Kiss Kiss_

_Gonna tell you right now_

_I make it sweet on the lips_

_And simply knock you out_

**_(Santana)_ **

_Shut up_

_I don't care what you say_

_Cause when you're both in the way_

_you better like it my way_

_Yeah baby_

_There's a villain in me_

_So sexy, sour and sweet_

_and you'll be loving it_

**_(Santana & Kurt)_ **

_Some day's I'm a Super-bitch_

_Up to my old tricks_

_but it won't last forever_

_Next day I'm your Super-girl_

_Out to save the world,_

_And it keeps getting better_

**_(Santana)_ **

_Hold on_

**_(Kurt)_ **

_Keeps getting better_

_Hold on_

**_(Santana)_ **

_Keeps getting better_

**_(Kurt)_ **

_In the break of the night_

_In the speed of the light_

_I hold the universe up_

_I'll make your planets collide_

_When I strap on my boots_

_and I slip on my suit._

_You see the vixen in me_

_becomes an angel for you_

**_(Santana)_ **

_Some day's I'm a Super-bitch_

_Up to my old tricks_

_but it won't last forever_

_Next day I'm your Super-girl_

_Out to save the world,_

_And it keeps getting better_

**_(Santana & Kurt)_ **

_Some day's I'm a Super-bitch_

_Up to my old tricks_

_but it won't last forever_

_Next day I'm your Super-girl_

_Out to save the world,_

_And it keeps getting better_

**_(Santana)_ **

_hold on_

**_(Kurt)_ **

_keeps getting better_

_hold on_

**_(Santana)_ **

_keeps getting better_

 

By the end of the song, Sam had seen Kurt bend in every conceivable direction, all the while maintaining a cool aloofness that sent a shiver down his spine. 

 

This was nothing for him. He didn't even break a sweat. And he was doing it in leather!

 

"Wow, guys... That's like... A full costume set." Mr Shuester blinked, "A little risque but..."

 

"I did it in my spare time." Kurt assured, shrugging. "What can I say? Fabric speaks to me. Each member of the our dance team can keep their costumes for Halloween. It was a joy, when I had the right muse."

 

Sam was totally aware of the hidden meaning there. Everyone assumed he meant Santana, or the song. But he remembered the comic in his bedroom. 

 

"Mike, about that thing we were talking about...I think I found a compromise." Tina whispered. Sam was sat next to her, and he very devoutly pretended not to listen. 

 

"Please don't Tina." Mike practically whimpered, his eyes riveted on Kurt. "Because I'm really not sure I'd be able to say no right now." 

 

"I want two boys, you want the attention on you. And did you see how he..."

 

"Congratulations Kurt!" Sam said, standing up and clapping loudly for a second, making Tina almost hop out of her seat as she was reminded she wasn't alone. "Uh, Mike! You said we were going to work on some plays. Let's... Uh... Go and do that." 

 

"Not so fast." Mr Shuester held up a hand. "We still have one more contender. Puck? Sunshine?"

 

"We... Uh..." Puck poked his head around the curtain. "We're ready."

 

Kurt grinned, winking at Puck. "Good luck." He hummed as he climbed off the stage, and settled into a seat in front of Sam, giving him a secretive smile. "Thank you for your congratulations, Samuel." 

 

"My pleasure." Sam coughed out, and then leant forward so he could whisper in Kurt's ear. "You look really hot." 

 

"I thought you might like." Kurt grinned, before he quietly shushed him. "I want to see if Rachel actually has an aneurism when Sunshine blows this out of the park."

 

**_(Puck)_ **

_What's somebody like you doing in a place like this?_

_Say did you come along, or did you bring all your friends?_

_Say what's your name, what you drinking?_

_I think I know what you're thinking_

_Baby what's your sign, tell me yours and I'll tell you mine_

_Say what's someone like you doing in a place like this?_

**_(Artie & Puck & Sunshine)_ **

_I'll never be the same_

_If we every meet again,_

_Won't let you get away_

_say if we ever meet again_

_This free fall's got me so_

_Kiss me all night don't ever let me go_

_I'll never be the same_

_If we ever meet again_

**_(Sunshine)_ **

_Do you come here much, I swear I've seen your face before_

_Hope you don't see me blush, but I can't help but want you more_

_Baby tell me what's your story, I ain't shy, don't you worry_

_I'm flirting with my eyes, wanna leave with you tonight_

_do you come here much, I've gotta see your face some more_

_(some more cause baby)_

**_(Artie & Puck & Sunshine)_ **

_I'll never be the same_

_If we every meet again,_

_Won't let you get away_

_say if we ever meet again_

_This free fall's got me so_

_Kiss me all night don't ever let me go_

_I'll never be the same_

_If we ever meet again_

**_(Artie and Puck)_ **

_If we ever meet again_

**_(Sunshine)_ **

_I'll have so much more to say_

**_(Artie and Puck)_ **

_If we ever meet again_

**_(Sunshine)_ **

_I won't let you go away_

**_(Artie and Puck)_ **

_if we ever meet again_

**_(Sunshine)_ **

_I'll have so much more to say_

**_(Artie and Puck)_ **

_if we ever meet again_

**_(Sunshine)_ **

_I won't let you go away_

**_(Artie & Puck & Sunshine)_ **

_I'll never be the same_

_If we every meet again,_

_Won't let you get away_

_say if we ever meet again_

_This free fall's got me so_

_Kiss me all night don't ever let me go_

_I'll never be the same_

_If we ever meet again_

_I'll never be the same_

_If we every meet again,_

_Won't let you get away_

_say if we ever meet again_

_This free fall's got me so_

_Kiss me all night don't ever let me go_

_I'll never be the same_

_If we ever meet again_

Kurt was first on his feet, whooping for the trio, with Sam and Rachel not far behind.

 

"Okay!" Mr Shuester clapped, looking delighted. "Now, I want you all to write your vote and put them in the hat."

 

Kurt considered for a moment what he wanted to write. Himself, or Sam maybe? Or was that cheating because he wanted to kiss Sam more. He finally wrote his name, and put in his vote. A quick glance around showed that everyone except Sam and Sunshine had the self-satisfied smirk that told they'd voted for themselves.

 

"Who'd you vote for." Kurt asked, turning in his seat to look at Sam. 

 

"Well there was this really hot guy in white leather..." Sam said, smirking.

 

"Oooh. I'm sure he's very appreciative."

 

Sam shot a look, to make sure that Tina and Mike were distracted with each other, before he slid his fingers into Kurt's over the back of the chair. Kurt blushed at that, glancing around as if he would be struck down by god for showing physical affection. When he wasn't smote on the spot, he leaned forward. Sam leaned forward too, resting his other arm on the chair, and blocking them from view a little. "I'm torn."

 

"Oh?"

 

"See, I really like the leather. It's hot." Sam hummed, staring at Kurt. "But it also kept me from macking on you for two days...."

 

"I could go take it off." Kurt offered, before he caught up with his words. "Alone. You know in the changing room. Because I obviously didn't wear this to school today." 

 

Sam smirked, "I'm sure I could help." 

 

"Easy, Samuel." Kurt whispered, slipping his fingers out. "I'm not sure I'm ready for that."

 

"That's fine." He rushed to say, glancing at the Changs again. "I'm perfectly willing to move at your speed, Kurt." 

 

"Thank you." Kurt whispered.

 

"Okay, guys!" Mr Shue clapped his hands. "Now, we appear to have a tie." 

 

"Sing off?" Rachel said immediately, standing up. "I'm taking you down Kurt."

 

"Nice try, Rachel." Mr Shue gestured for her to sit down. "Kurt and Santana have three votes, and the only other group with three votes is..... Finn and Sam." 

 

"Wait what." Mercedes blinked, looking aghast. "They were.... I mean they were okay, but..."

 

"I voted for them." Sunshine raised a hand awkwardly, "I thought that it was really impressive that they played their own instruments. And Sam obviously put a lot of thought into his interpretation of his song." 

 

"Thanks Sunshine." Sam grinned, leaning back to offer her a fist to bump. 

 

"Okay, so what do we do?" Tina asked, crossing her arms. 

 

"I'll ceed my extra ticket to Sam." Kurt said immediately, holding up a hand.

 

"And, Kurt can have my theoretical one." Sam grinned. "So there's two sorted out, right?"

 

"Oh, I am not taking Gigantor as my date." Santana snapped her fingers. 

 

"I don't wanna go." Finn said simply. "I'm not feeling it anyway."

 

"Okay, so, two tickets to Santana and Kurt and Sam are going together." Mr. Shuester said easily. "Congratulations though to everyone."

 

The day was over, and Kurt was laughing as he walked through the corridor, It had been so exhilerating, to have so many eyes on him. 

 

He nearly screamed as a hand shot out, and pulled him into a supply closet. It took him a moment to place his assaulter. "Puck?"

 

He looked haggard, and tired. Like last year, when he had news that had changed his life. When he'd got Quinn pregnant.

 

"I did something really stupid Kurt."

 


	8. Duets: Aftermath

 

 

** Duets Aftermath **

__

_"He's completely out of it." Sunshine hummed, tapping Artie's face again. "He's a lightweight, huh?"_

_"Looks like." Puck grinned from the bed, resting his hands behind his head. "You seem to be doing well."_

_"This isn't my first rodeo, Puckerman." She giggled, collapsing on the bed. "I like to party."_

_"Oh?" Puck cocked an eyebrow at her, watching her for a moment. "You don't seem like the type."_

_"There's a type?"_

_"Footballers and Cheerleaders." Puck shrugged. "They usually go to keggers and stuff."_

_"I haven't been to many keggers." Sunshine rolled her eyes. "But my parents are pretty liberal as long as I'm safe."_

_"Oh?"_

_Sunshine grinned, "I can drink in the house. And boys can stay over, as long as I prove I have condoms ready."_

_"Wow. I can't tell if that's awesome or terrible." Puck sounded almost reverant for a moment. "So... You've had guys over?"_

_"That's a very personal question, Puckerman." Sunshine giggled, shuffling up the bed. "Why? Do I not look like the type?"_

_"You look like my type."_

_Sunshine giggled more at that, resting her head on Puck's chest and watched him for a long moment. "I do, do I?"_

_"Well, don't listen to Kurt. He says 'Willing' is my type." Puck snorted, and Sunshine laughed too._

_"I know he thinks more of you than that."_

_"Meh, he'll be pissed at me for meddling."_

_They laid in silence for a long few minutes, just breathing._

_"Want to have sex?"_

_Sunshine blinked, and looked up at Puck. "That's how you're gonna ask me?"_

_"Hey, I'm just being honest. Don't be expecting no songs or flowers or stuff. But If you wanna, I'm game." Puck shrugged, "Sex doesn't have to be spiritual connections that outlives the human race. It can just be two friends, wanting to scratch an itch."_

_"... Sure." Sunshine grinned, leaning up and kissing Puck. "Sounds fun."_

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

"I am trying so very hard not to judge you." Kurt huffed, crossing his arms. "Rachel, will you be the kind one who helps him out?"

 

"That's your job. I'm here to mock and ridicule." Rachel raised a hand from the arm of her chair. "Starting with, you got Sunshine drunk?!"

 

"I know!" Puck groaned, burying his face in Kurt's pillows. "It was stupid. I was stupid. This is all..."

 

"Stupid?" Kurt offered when Puck seemed to be stuck for a word. "Okay, well what did Sunshine say the next day?"

 

"Nothing." 

 

Kurt paused, staring at the back of Puck's head for a moment. "You are going to lie to me, Noah, and tell me you didn't leave before she woke up."

 

"I'm more concerned that he had sex with Artie in the room." Rachel pointed out. 

 

"You... I don't have words." Kurt threw his hands up in the air. "I told you! I said, never ever mistreat a member of the Glee Club. Because we all have to work together!"

 

"But we did work alright, when we were all singing the song."

 

"Because Sunshine is a good person. And wants everyone to sucseed." Rachel pointed out. 

 

"Look, I want you to avoid her." Kurt said, poking Puck with his foot. "Just... Don't go near her, until I've had a chance to speak to her, and find out how much damage control I have to do.... How would you feel about being gay for a few months." 

 

"Ha, fucking, Ha." Puck grumbled, "Depends. Can I steal your boyfriend? Because he's definitely bangable."

 

"You have a boyfriend!?" Rachel asked, almost falling out of the chair in her haste to stand up. "Kurt Elizabeth Hummel, you got a boyfriend and didn't tell me?!"

 

"Yes. I have a boyfriend. No, you can't steal him, Noah." Kurt gestured at them both in turn. "I hope you appreciate that I'm putting off our.... first and/or fifth date to deal with this."

 

"How can it be...." Rachel started, then paused. "Tell me you haven't been sleeping with him in advance."

 

"No, Rachel. We just kissed." Kurt assured, "When I finally 'go all the way' you will be my first or second contact depending on what happened."

 

"Okay, so, I have a plan." Puck said sitting up. "I turn gay. You two can gay me up. I'll kiss Finn in the hallway or something. He'll be too confused to react to it for a good five minutes."

 

"Let's not." Kurt snickered. "You could always have a threesome with Mike and Tina."

 

"Fall in love with Miss Pillsbury." Rachel suggested, "That'll make Sunshine think you only like the... more eccentric people."

 

For an hour, they shot around ridiculous ideas for how to solve the problem, until Rachel yawned and decided to leave. Kurt sighed, and collapsed on the bed next to Puck, pulling him into a hug.

 

"You know I'll take your side if this blows up, right?" He offered quietly. "I know I was teasing, and it's completely your fault probably, but I'm always on your side."

 

"I know." Puck assured, resting his head on Kurt's chest. "And I won't steal Sam."

 

"Like you could."

 

"Dude, I totally could. I'm hot. All the gay guys like me." 

 

"Yes, well, there's no accounting for taste." Kurt hummed, rubbing Puck's back. "Do you want to stay over tonight? I'll make a barrel of tuna and cheese pasta." 

 

"You know my comfort foods." Puck grinned, jostling Kurt's leg with his knee. "That's cheating."

 

"Your comfort food is a 'A barrel of...' anything." Kurt pointed out.

 

"Finn would start getting ideas, if you let me sleep over again." Puck sighed, sitting up. "And I need to help Sarah with her homework."

 

"Okay, Noah." Kurt sat up too. "I'll speak to Sunshine, and then we're going to have a nice discussion about chasity cages." 

 

"Kinky, Hummel." Puck snorted, "And I don't need my dick to bring pleasure to the women of Lima, Ohio."

 

"Ew." 

 

* * *

 

 

Kurt found Sunshine the next mourning quickly, to get this out of the way. Angry shouty time should be over as soon as possible, so Kurt could find a dark secluded closet to cuddle with Sam in for a few minutes. 

 

Sunshine was sat in the library, and having taken his advice had stripped down the eccentricity of her outfit, looking wonderful. She had a small book resting on her lap, and looked completely engrossed in it. 

 

"Good morning, Sunshine." 

 

Sunshine looked up from her book with a small smile. "Kurt, Hi."

 

"How are you doing?" Kurt asked, sitting opposite her. 

 

"I'm good. How are you? And Sam?" 

 

Kurt paused, blinking for a moment as his carefully planned confrontation fell completely off to the side. "Pardon?"

 

"You and Sam went to Breadsticks last night, right?" Sunshine asked, smiling warmly. "Did you have fun?"

 

"Oh, we had to... reschedule." Kurt quickly caught back up in the conversation. "I wanted to ask you about Noah."

 

"Oh, Puckerman." Sunshine nodded with a small grin. "Has he stopped freaking out yet?"

 

"He's very sorry that he had to leave so early, he hopes it won't impact on your friendship."

 

"It won't." Sunshine laughed, "I'm guessing he told you everything?"

 

"He told me that the two of you had ... relations." 

 

"Yes. We had 'relations'. Pretty good 'relations' too." Sunshine raised an eyebrow. "What? He thinks because I'm a girl, I'm going to fall in love with him and have my life fall apart when he doesn't love me back?"

 

"... You don't seem too broken up about it?" Kurt said, frowning. 

 

"I'll see you at rehearsal, Kurt." Sunshine rolled her eyes, and stood up. "And next time, make Puckerman do his own dirty work." 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

"Dude, Evans is such a fag." 

 

"Totally, man." 

 

Kurt twitched as he heard the jocks conversation. He hadn't found Sam that morning, and now...

 

What if something had happened to Sam because of him? 

 

Kurt could see the scene now. Sam, lying in the dumpster, his head split open on the side, or his stomach pierced by a piece of metal. Or, kicked to death in the car park, bleeding out. All because Kurt couldn't manage to live without a boyfriend for another two years. 

 

"We should totally get him after lunch, you know?"

 

That eased the sense of guilt in Kurt's stomach, but he knew he had to act now.

 

"Sam is not gay." Kurt huffed, slamming his locker shut, and rolling his eyes. "He's a giant nerd, and a lackluster performer, but he isn't gay."

 

"Nobody asked you, Fag." The more vocal jock spat, as they turned to him. "You'd try and defend him anyway."

 

"No, I wouldn't. If you want to slushy him, go ahead. I'll even find out what lesson he's in. Slushy him for joining Glee Club, or for missing the second game of the season, or because he reads comic books, but don't lump such a ridiculously nerdy straight guy in with us gays." 

 

The jocks looked at each other, and then shrugged. Kurt felt his heart lighten as they shoulder checked him against the locker and stormed away. He couldn't hide in the closet himself, but he could protect Sam. Once they were out of sight, he pulled his phone out and text Puck.

 

**Watch Sam, Think he's going to get slushied. Tell him to avoid me today, where he can.**

 

_y? whts going on?_

 

**Jocks thought he was gay. Told them he wasn't. Don't want to give them any ammo.**

 

_K._

 

Kurt could feel the dissaproval radiating from the single letter reply. Puck thought you should let people fight there own battles, and shouldn't say anything about anyone's sexuality one way or the other. But he didn't know what it would be like. Nobody dared do anything to Puck. 

 

Besides, Sam wouldn't want people to know about him, would he? He never made the first move with guys. He admitted he was more comfortable with girls.

 

Kurt hoped to god he'd done the right thing.

 

* * *

 

 

Kurt sighed, resting his head on Rachel's shoulder as Mr. Shuester ranted about the validity of Journey as their number for sectionals

 

"Mr. Shuester?" Sam said, when Mr. Shuester finally took a break. "I have a number I'd like to sing, if that's okay?"

 

"...Sure, Sam." Mr. Shuester said, stepping aside.

 

"Uh... So, yeah." Sam grinned. "Never really done this before. But I want to sing a song for someone who's become very special to me recently."

 

Kurt's head jolted up, and he glanced across at Puck who looked just as confused. 

 

**_(Sam)_ **

_His face is a map of a world_

_is a map of the world_

_You can see he's a beautiful boy_

_He's a beautiful boy._

_And everything around him is a silver pool of light_

_The people who surround him feel the benefit of it._

_It makes you calm._

_He holds you captivated in his palm._

_Suddenly I see_

_This is what I wanna be_

_Suddenly I see_

_Why the hell it means so much to me._

_Suddenly I see_

_This is what I wanna be_

_Suddenly I see_

_Why the hell it means so much to me._

_I feel like walking the world_

_Like walking the world_

_You can hear he's a beautiful boy_

_He's a beautiful boy._

_He fills up every corner like he's born in black and white_

_Makes you feel warmer when you're trying to remember_

_What you heard_

_He likes to leave you hanging on his word_

_Suddenly I see_

_This is what I wanna be_

_Suddenly I see_

_Why the hell it means so much to me._

_Suddenly I see_

_This is what I wanna be_

_Suddenly I see_

_Why the hell it means so much to me._

_And he taller thgan most_

_and he's looking at me_

_I can see his eyees looking from the page of a magazine_

_He makes me feel like I could be a tower_

_A big strong tower._

_The power to be_

_The power to give_

_The power to see, yeah, yeah_

_He's got the power to be_

_The power to give_

_The power to see, yeah, yeah_

_He's got the power to be_

_The power to give_

_The power to see, yeah, yeah_

_He's got the power to be_

_The power to give_

_The power to see, yeah, yeah_

_He's got the power to be_

_The power to give_

_The power to see, yeah, yeah_

_Suddenly I see_

_This is what I wanna be_

_Suddenly I see_

_Why the hell it means so much to me._

_Suddenly I see_

_This is what I wanna be_

_Suddenly I see_

_Why the hell it means so much to me._

_Suddenly I see_

_This is what I wanna be_

_Suddenly I see_

_Why the hell it means so much to me._

_Suddenly I see_

_This is what I wanna be_

_Suddenly I see_

_Why the hell it means so much to me._

 

Kurt sat torn between feeling wooed and a sense of complete and utter panic. 

 

"Uh... What?" Mercedes said, turning to Tina. "Did I miss something?"

 

"Sam was obviously singing about his admiration of my talent and captaincy." Kurt said, jumping out of his seat. "I mean, whilst I would quite obviously be very flattered if such an attractive straight boy wanted me, Sam is not. Right?"

 

Sam glanced at Kurt, taking a deep breath. "Right, yes. Totally, just... Admiring him."

 

* * *

 

 

"What the hell was that." Sam said, as Kurt climbed into his car, rushing to the door so Kurt couldn't just drive away.

 

"Sam, you can't be seen with me!" Kurt hissed, glancing around. 

 

"Why? Are you ashamed of me or something?" Sam asked, his eyes shining with hurt. 

 

"No, I'm not ashamed, Sam."

 

"Then why can't I sing a song to you?"

 

"Because the Jock's think you're gay!" Kurt snapped, "And I can't be responsible for you being bullied."

 

"You're not my mother, Kurt." Sam grumbled, "I was completely aware of what would happened, if I sang it. It wasn't your call to make!"

 

"I think it's both of our calls, Sam!" Kurt snapped, "You don't know what it's like!"

 

"I don't care. I can hold my own!" Sam snapped, smacking Kurt's door. "If I want to walk through the school telling everyone, you can't stop me."

 

"I can refuse to be there for it." Kurt muttered, before he rolled his window up, and driving away. 

 

* * *

 

 

"You need to talk to Sam." Puck muttered, "I mean, you know I have to take your side, but what you did today was cold." 

 

Kurt grunted, and threw a pillow at Puck's head. They were lounging on Puck's bed, both moping over how awful their romantic lives were. 

 

"I mean, dude basically told you he loves you in front of the Glee Club." Puck continued. 

 

Kurt sighed, "I know, but the football players..." 

 

"The football players are going to bully him no matter what you do Kurt."

 

"So you think I should just make out with him in the hallway?"

 

"No, but you can treat him like your boyfriend in Glee Club. No-one will say anything." 

 

"They will." Kurt sighed. "Mercedes, Santana, Quinn would do it on purpose. Brittany would do it accidentally. It would get out." 

 

"And?"

 

"They'd kill him, Puck." Kurt muttered, "They'd beat him to death, and it'd be my fault."

 

"Okay, the dicks are homophobic, but they wouldn't kill him Kurt." Puck rolled his eyes. "You know what I think?"

 

"What?"

 

"You're not scared for him." 

 

Kurt stared at Puck for a moment, before he stood up, and wandered around the room. "I don't know what you mean."

 

"When people know? Then there preconceptions about you are going to change, and you're going to be tied down to Sam. I bet that terrifies you, being so out of control. So you're lashing out."

 

"I don't lash out."

 

"You lash. Hard."

 

Kurt sighed, collapsing back onto the bed. "I'm not.... I want him to be safe."

 

* * * 

 

"Okay!" Mr. Shuester grinned, clapping his hands "So, Sunshine is going to be singing for us today."

 

Kurt glanced up from his phone, frowning at Puck. "Did you know about this?"

 

"No. I haven't spoke to her since you said..."

 

**_(Sunshine)_ **

_You gotta help me out_

_It's all a blur last night._

_We need a taxi cause you're hung over_

_and I'm broke._

_I lost my Fake ID_

_But you lost the motel key_

_Spare me your freaking_

_Dirty looks now don't blame me_

_You want to cash out_

_And get the hell out of town_

_Don't be a baby_

_Remember what you told me_

_Shut up and put your money where your mouth is_

_That's what you get for waking up in vegas_

_Get up and shake the glitter off your clothes now._

_That's what you get for waking up in Vegas_

_Why arew these lights so bright?_

_Did we get hitched last night_

_Dressed up like Elvis_

_Why am I wearing your class ring_

_Don't call your mother_

_Cause now we're partners in crime._

_Don't be a baby_

_Remember what you told me._

_Shut up and put your money where your mouth is_

_That's what you get for waking up in vegas_

_Get up and shake the glitter off your clothes now._

_That's what you get for waking up in Vegas_

_You got me into this_

_Information overload, situation lost control_

_Send out an S.O.S_

_and get some cash out_

_We're gonna tear up the town_

_Don't be a baby_

_Remember what you told me._

_Remember what you told me._

_Remember what you told me._

_Shut up and put your money where your mouth is_

_That's what you get for waking up in vegas_

_Get up and shake the glitter off your clothes now._

_That's what you get for waking up in Vegas_

_That's what you get baby_

_Shake the glitter, Shake, shake, shake the glitter_

_Give me some cash out, baby_

Give me some cash out, baby

 

By the end of the song, everyone was up and dancing, laughing and generally having a good time. Puck stood a little way away from Sunshine, as she looked at him and raised an eyebrow challengingly. 

 

"Okay, so I get it." Puck grinned, "Nice song."

 

"Learned your lesson?" She asked, crossing her arms. "I'm not some lovesick idiot, you know. We can be friends."

 

"I know." Puck moved closer and threw an arm around her. 

 

"Okay, guys, we're going to go to the Choir room." Mr. Shuester gestured. 

 

Kurt waited until mostly everyone was gone, before he caught Sam's arm stopping him. "You didn't reply to my texts."

 

"I thought I'd protect you from making your credit go down." Sam muttered sarcastically.

 

"Can.... You sang to me this week, so can I sing to you." Kurt asked, checking they were alone.

 

Sam didn't answer, just gestured for Kurt to begin.

 

**_(Kurt)_ **

_You tell me, you're in love with me_

_Like you can't take your pretty eyes away from me_

_It's not that I don't want to stay_

_But everytime you come too close, I move away_

_I wanna believe in everything that you say_

_Cause it sounds so good._

_But if you really want me Move slow_

_There's thing about me, you just have to know._

_Sometimes I run_

_Sometimes I hide_

_Sometimes I'm scared of you_

_But all i Really want is to hold you tight_

_Treat you right, be with you day and night._

_Baby, all I need is time_

_I don't wanna be so shy._

_Everytime that I'm alone, I wonder why_

_Hope that you will wait for me_

_You'll see that you're the only one for me_

_I wanna believe in everything that you say_

_Cause it sounds so good._

_But if you really want me Move slow_

_There's thing about me, you just have to know._

_Sometimes I run_

_Sometimes I hide_

_Sometimes I'm scared of you_

_But all i Really want is to hold you tight_

_Treat you right, be with you day and night._

_all i Really want is to hold you tight_

_Treat you right, be with you day and night._

_Baby all I need is time_

_Come, just hang around and you'll see_

_There's nowhere I'd rather be_

_If you love me, trust in me_

_The way that I trust in you_

_Sometimes I run_

_Sometimes I hide_

_Sometimes I'm scared of you_

_All I really want is to hold you tight_

_Treat you right, be with you day and night_

_All I really want is to hold you tight_

_Be with you day and night_

_Sometimes I run_

_Sometimes I hide_

_Sometimes I'm scared of you_

_All I really want is to hold you tight_

_Treat you right, be with you day and night_

 

 

They stood awkwardly in silence for a few long moments before Kurt spoke again.

 

"I was telling the truth, when I said I'm scared about what the Jock's will do to you... But I think deeper than that is the fact I'm just... not ready, Sam. I really like you, but ... I'm not ready to let people know." Kurt sighed. "And I'm just scared, Sam. This is my first relationship. I don't know what else to say to you."

 

"Kurt.... I understand that. But I'm here to support you. You don't have to be scared."

 

"Can we just keep it secret for now?" Kurt asked, stepping closer. "Please?"

 

"...Fine." Sam said, "But when we come out, I promise you that I'll protect you."

 

"I'm sure you'll try." Kurt sighed. "We should go to the choir room."

 

Sam nodded, and then pressed a soft kiss to Kurt's lips. "I love you."

 

"I love you too." Kurt breathed back, before straightening out his clothes and setting off toward the choir room. 

 


	9. Rocky Horror Glee Show

 

**Rocky Horror Glee Show**

 

"Great news guys!"

 

 

Kurt turned around from his conversation with Sam to look at Mr. Shuester who was entering the room. 

 

"This weeks musical lesson isn't exactly a lesson." Mr Shuester continued, "It's a musical." Kurt was aware of Rachel muttering to herself off to the side, and spared her an indulgent grin.

 

"You got ideas already?" He asked quietly, as everyone else seemed to lean forward for the announcement. 

 

"Shush, you'll ruin it." Rachel shot back, crossing her fingers.

 

"Rocky. Horror." 

 

The reaction was instant and loud from several parts of the room. Tina threw up her hands in praise, Sam grabbed Kurt's shoulders (gently) in joy, Puck did a little fist pump, and Rachel held up her hand. "Myself and Finn will play Brad and Janet."

 

"I'll be the dude with the rocking motorcycle." Puck grinned, and paused, "Wait, we'll have the rocking motor cycle, right?"

 

"I'll be the guy in the wheelchair." Artie hummed, crossing his arms.

 

"That's what I thought. And yes, we will find a motorcycle for you." Mr. Shuester laughed, "Kurt, I thought you could take the role of Frank-n-furter." 

 

Kurt was ready to dismiss it out of hand. But Sam's hands were still on his shoulders, securing him. "I'm not sure...."

 

"Dude, it's like... the lead role." Puck pointed out. "You turning that down?"

 

"I am not sure, yet." Kurt huffed, turning to Mr. Shuester. "You understand what the backlash of this character will be, right?"

 

"Backlash?" Mr. Shuester asked, crossing his arms.

 

"To be played to script, it would have to be played by a man. If I see what your other choices are... I'm guessing Sam for the Creature? Then either myself or Mike would play the part, and would have to deal with the student body mocking us for dressing as a girl." 

 

"I don't think that's realistic, Kurt. The kids would understand it's just a character." Mr. Shuester grinned, charmingly.

 

Kurt sighed, taking a deep breath. "Fine. I'll take the role." 

 

"Awesome. Now, we're going to be doing a lot of doubling up, so I'll get to work on that casting. In the meantime, take these scripts and start learning."

 

Kurt sighed, resting his head on the back of his chair. "Thiis is a bad idea."

 

"But an awesome bad idea." Sam whispered, leaning over Kurt and grinning.

 

"Shut up. Handsome boys make being annoyed harder."

 

"Handsome, am I?" Sam asked, raising an eyebrow. 

 

Kurt was about to answer, when Quinn made her presence know. "Kurt, didn't you learn your lesson with Finn?" She asked, standing over them with her high and mighty smirk, and cross and cheerioes uniform. Kurt was about to point out that they didn't have a practice today, and that she didn't have to wear her uniform to hide her stretch marks, but Sam was sat there.

 

"What does that mean?" Sam asked, blinking.

 

"It's a comment on my selection of masculine men to crush on." Kurt sighed. "My first crush was Finn, and was a train wreck, and she's implying that I have an unobtainable crush on you." 

 

"Who says it's unobtainable." Sam rose an eyebrow. 

 

"I.... Are you gay?" Quinn asked, her voice pitching upwards.

 

"No." Sam shook his head. "But I am a teenager. You can't know every little detail of my sexuality, if I don't." 

 

Quinn gaped for a moment, looking between the two of them before storming off. Kurt watched her, and then turned to Sam. "You know she's going to spend all day thinking that you're gay now?"

 

"Sucks to be her." Sam shrugged. "She shouldn't imply you're some creepy pervert for liking a guy."

 

"You're so honorable." Kurt hummed, glancing around to find the room empty. Taking the chance, he leant in and pressed a soft kiss to Sam's lips. "You know... We have a number we could practice...."

 

"Oh?" Sam asked, grinning. "You haven't checked the script yet. Might've been cut."

 

"I'll get it back in. I can be very persuasive."

 

"You can..." Sam leaned in, jerking back when Puck coughed awkwardly from the doorway, with Sunshine. "Oh, hey!"

 

"Are you two finally dating?" Sunshine asked, crossing her arms. 

 

"I... uh...." Kurt glanced at Sam, who simply grinned, and shrugged. "Yes, but you can't say anything."

 

"My lips are sealed." Sunshine mimed, looping an arm into Puck's. "We just wanted to tell you that we're not going to let anyone give you grief for playing Frank-n-Furter."

 

"I won't either." Sam added.

 

"You'll be busy defending your dignity in those gold hot pants."

 

"Not gold boardshorts?"  Sam suggested. "I'm happy with the waist up."

 

"Oh, no. That's my price. I wants the hotpants." Kurt grinned, eyeing Sam speculatively. "What do you think to that?"

 

"I'm sure I could be persuaded."

 

"Urgh, PDA." Sunshine mimed gagging, pulling Puck after her as she left. "Come on, Puckerman."

 

Kurt glanced over his shoulder. "Come on, let's practice."

 

**_(Kurt)_ **

_A weakling weighing 98 pounds_

_Will get sand in his face_

_When kicked to the ground_

_And soon in the gym_

_With a determained chin_

_The sweat from his pores_

_As he works for his cause._

_Will make him glisten_

_And gleam, and with massage_

_and just a little bit of steam_

_he'll be pink, and quite clean_

_He'll be a strong man_

_Oh, honey!_

_But the wrong man!_

_He'll eat nutritous, high protein_

_And swallow raw eggs_

_Try to build up his Shoulders_

_His Chest, Arm and Legs_

_Such an effort_

_If he only knew of my plan_

_In Just Seven Days_

_I can make you a man._

_He'll do press ups, and chin-ups_

_Do the snatch, clean, and jerk_

_He thinkgs dynamic tension_

_must be hard word_

_Such strenuous living_

_When in Just Seven Days_

_Oh Baby!_

_I can make you a man!_

By the time they were finished, with a ridiculous amount of twirling, and dipping, and posing, Kurt had worked up quite a sweat himself too. Sam was grinning down at him, and it was all Kurt could do, not to throw himself at him. 

 

"That went well." Sam said quietly. "But I'm not sure about the lyrics."

 

"Oh?" Kurt asked, as he pulled himself upright, and brushed down his clothes. "Which?"

 

"You're gonna make me a man in seven days?" Sam asked, smirking. Kurt could feel himself blush. "I mean, I thought I'd have more time to prepare..."

 

Kurt gave his chest a soft pat, as he glared at him. "Relax, it won't be your first."

 

"It would. With a guy, I mean." Sam shrugged. "I've only ever done upper body stuff, before. Grinding, and blowing. You'd be my first." 

 

"Oh." Kurt whispered, blinking. "And you're okay with that?"

 

"Yeah." Sam laughed gently, wrapping his arms around Kurt's waist. "But there's no time frame on when." 

 

"Okay." Kurt grinned, resting his head on Sam's chest. "Maybe we should get gone."

 

"When we have so much to rehearse?"

 

"I'm sure I'll make it up to you.... at my house... with the bed." 

 

* * *

 

 

Sam grinned as he knocked on Kurt's front door, the flowers hidden behind his back. A nice little romantic gesture. No harm in it.

 

Finn answered the door.

 

Fuck. 

 

"Uh... For Burt." Sam said, holding them out. "My mom asked me to check in and see how he's healing up, and I read you're supposed to bring a present."

 

"Oh, right..." Finn blinked, taking the flowers. "Come in, dude." 

 

"Thank you." Sam stepped over the threshold, catching sight of Kurt in the kitchen. "Hey, Kurt."

 

"Sam!" Kurt yelped, nearly falling off his chair. "What're you doing here?"

 

"I was... in the neighbourhood, and I thought I'd check in on your dad." Sam said, shooting a sideways glance to Finn, who looked generally confused.

 

"I'll fill you in." Kurt agreed. "The flowers?"

 

"For your dad." Sam said, grinning a little.

 

"I'm sure he appreciates them." Kurt smiled, "Finn? Put them in water. Me and Sam are going downstairs."

 

"You okay with that dude?" Finn asked, turning to Sam.

 

"Why wouldn't I be?" Sam asked, as Kurt started pulling him by the arm.

 

"You know Kurt's gay, right?" 

 

"It had skipped my notice" Sam shot back, as he was pulled down into Kurt's basement, the door locking behind him. "I forgot he lives here too."

 

"I guessed." Kurt snorted. "Don't be too annoyed, he's just trying to protect your virtue."

 

Sam laughed, as Kurt gave him a short shove to the bed. "Hey, look. You, me and the bed. Are we looking for a repeat of yesterday?"

 

"Maybe." Kurt nodded, "If you explain some things."

 

"The slayer line was split because Buffy died in Season One. She was brought back, but the natural route of progression was passed onto Faith, which is why no new slayer was called when she died in season five." 

 

"Buffy dies?" Kurt asked, suddenly looking upset. "Twice?"

 

"... Oh." Sam said quietly. "Forgot you were starting from the very beginning. And some people get really confused over that... Um.... Kiss it better?"

 

"Okay, you need a chastity cage too." Kurt grumbled. "I swear to god, if I didn't know about Finn's hair trigger I'd suggest it's a running problem in the Glee Club." 

 

"You've been thinking about chastity cages?" Sam asked, smirking. 

 

"I've been thinking about a lot of things. Now, stop being so distractingly handsome." Kurt grabbed a chair and pulled it over to where Sam was sat. "Now, were you intentionally trying to give Finn a complex?"

 

"What?"

 

"I heard about your gym class today. Mike and Artie are massive gossips." Kurt watched as Sam looked away. "So, were you trying to make Finn feel awful about his body?"

 

"No, dude, he came to me asking for help. I think he's freaked out about his role."

 

"Oh, he is defintely freaking out about his role. And you're going to be nice and not exhasperate the problem by telling him he's unattractive. You understand?"

 

"Yes, sir." Sam grinned, a spark in his eye. 

 

"Don't. We're not even touching any of those subjects whilst I'm worried and mad about you." Kurt pointed. "Now, is what Finn said true? Are you that strict with your diet? And Exercise routine"

 

"You can't tell me you don't like the effects." Sam grumbled crossing his arms.

 

"You're right. I love your body. I also love you, and don't want you..."

 

"Love?"

 

Kurt blinked, pausing. "... Yes, Love. Or really, really like. Not the point right now, Samuel Evans. Your mom mentioned that she was worried about you, and now you have me and Finn worried about you. So, two choices here. Ready?"

 

"Go on."

 

"Either you start eating a little more, or you start working out a little less." Kurt offered. "Or, secret third option, you do neither, and I start reading up on Anorexia and Body Dysmorphia so that I'm ready to catch you when you fall."

 

Sam frowned, "Kurt... I.... I'm not unhealthy."

 

"I know. But I don't ever want to be worried that you're going to be unhealthy." Kurt said quietly, moving from his chair to hug Sam. "I love you, and I want you around for a long time. Okay? Your body is amazing, but I love your personality too."

 

Sam grinned, petting Kurt's back. "I love you too. Look... If it'll make you happy? I'll eat a little more, okay?"

 

"It will." Kurt nodded. "And I'll be checking with your mom."

 

"How?"

 

"She added me on Facebook." Kurt laughed, as Sam's face fell. "She's a lovely lady."

 

"She is the devil." Sam hissed. "Now, I was promised kissing."

 

"I don't remember that." Kurt hummed, "I thought we'd watch some Buffy. I want to see her DIE TWICE."

 

"I am so sorry!" Sam winced. "Uh...If it makes you feel better.... three gay characters show up?"

 

"At once?"

 

"One discovers her sexuality, two show up at different points in time."

 

Kurt sighed. "Fine. But first, I need to measure you for your costume."

 

"My costume is gold hot pants." Sam blinked, before he got it. "Oh.... How much clothing would I have to lose for the measuring."

 

"I'll tell you when to stop." Kurt laughed.

 

* * *

 

The musical was shut down with a massively awkward argument between Mr. Shuester and Miss Pillsbury's boyfriend, who had helped with costume. Kurt didn't care either way really. He'd demanded control of his own (And Sam's costume), and he'd already proved, yet again, that he could knock the hell out of 'sexy crossdresser'. Sam hadn't been uncomfortable in his costume, since Kurt had shown him every step of making it, including how the cuffs would stick to his leg and make sure nothing fell out. 

 

So, it had been fun. His and Sam's performance had been praised as one of the best within the rehearsal process, along with Finn and Rachel, and Kurt had seen Sue eyeing Sam speculatively.

 

Which is why he wasn't surprised when he was dragged into her office the minute they stopped the Time Warp number.

 

"Yes, Coach Sylvester?"

 

"I'm aware of a fascinating fad within the teenage community, where the Quarterback and the head cheerleader begin there awkward attempts at procreation. And whilst the current starting Quarterback looks like an awkward attempt at merging Quinn Fabray's genetic code with a male trout? He is apparently uninterested in her advances. Thoughts."

 

Kurt blinked, taking that in. "Firstly, Sam is very attractive."

 

"I didn't say he wasn't. I'm sure that some grisly old fisherman has his picture up next to the other great catches."

 

"And Second, Quinn Fabray is not such a hot commodity these days. Guys don't like her after she tried to trick Puck and Finn into being her baby daddys, and the girls think she is a slut." Kurt crossed her arms. "She's grown used to getting everything she wants, and the idea that Sam might not..."

 

"So, he's gay."

 

Kurt gaped for a moment, "He's.... What?!"

 

Sue stared at him for a moment. "You would be ridiculously easy to torture. He's either gay, as you kids like to label yourself, or he's somewhere else along the gay spectrum that means he's dating you."

 

"How did you...." Kurt paused, "Did you see us in the choir room?"

 

"No. But you just proved it there." Sue smirked, "I'll level with you, Hummel. I need more exposure. Having a gay and a fat girl on the team really brought media attention to me last year, but now I'm down a fattie, and you're just fading into the background. I'm bring Santana into the limelight, but she's incurred my wrath with that elective surgery. So, that leaves you."

 

"Me?"

 

"I want you to be head cheerleader alongside Quinn Fabray." Sue said, crossing her arms. "You wouldn't have to put in any extra work, but it would remind Q how precarious her position is, and it would make me look like I care. And, when people innevitably find out about you and ... Sam? It'll offer you a small degree of protection."

 

Kurt nodded slowly, "Okay.... I feel like there's going to be a catch." 

 

"No catch. Not just yet. Now, go out and buy yourself a new hat, or however you gays celebrate." Sue gestured, opening a magazine and leaning back, making it very clear she was done with the conversation.

 

Kurt quickly let himself out of the office stepping into the corridor, eyes open wide. 

 

"Hey, Fag!" A football player called passing by, his friend laughing hysterically as though nobody had seen this coming. "What? Is it washing day?"

 

Kurt glanced down, realising he was still in his Rocky Horror outfit. With a small eep, he threw himself into the boys bathroom, and locked himself in one of the stalls. A quick text was sent off to Puck and Sam, begging them to either bring him his bag, or break into his locker and bring him his Cheerio uniform. 

 

They both came quickly, sliding his cheerio uniform under the partition. He thanked them as he swapped clothes, and straightened himself out before he stepped out to meet them.

 

"You okay?" Sam asked quietly. 

 

"Yeah, more than Okay." Kurt said brightly. "Where's my bag?"

 

"Uh, we found it, but it just had another cheerios uniform in there." Puck looked at Sam. 

 

"Seems Coach Sylvester wasn't giving it me a choice." Kurt wondered for a moment. "Well, Boys. Aren't you going to escort the head cheerleader to his car?"

 

"You're head cheerleader?"

 

"In title only." Kurt quickly assured Sam, who was looking confused. "Coach wants to piss Quinn off for some reason, and the flaming gay is a good PR move apparently."

 

"Whoa. That means... You're untouchable." Puck muttered, looking Kurt over. "Soon as word gets out, you leave the world of slushies and jocks."

 

"Yes, but I enter the world of girls, Noah." Kurt laughed shortly. "I give it a week before it gets brought up that I kissed you."

 

"Hey! Sam!" Puck laughed, nudging Sam's elbow. "We've both made out with the head cheerleader."

 

"Boys." Kurt muttered, checking his appearence. Let's get out of here, before Quinn finds out and cuts my breaks."

 

* * *

 

 

"Sam... No." Kurt broke off the kiss and sighed, grabbing Sam's hand and moving it off his leg. "I'm sorry. I really.... I really want to, I just..."

 

"Hey, no pressure." Sam assured, holding both hands up. "I am 100% okay with not touching you."

 

"100%?"

 

"Okay.... More like 95%, but that's still a lot." Sam laughed, folding his hands on his lap. "I want to though. You're amazing Kurt."

 

"Tell me something I don't know." Kurt grinned as he shuffled a little further away from Sam. "And trust me, I'm a guy. I know how much you want this, and how much it sucks feeling like you're getting one step forward and two steps back." 

 

"I don't want to rush you." Sam said gently, turning completely on his side. "This is your pace."

 

"At least you can go home and jack off." Kurt offered, "... Unless you're part of a scary group that thinks that that is wrong."

 

"Nope... Although..." Sam blinked, "I haven't."

 

"You haven't...?"

 

"Jacked off. Since we won the duets competition. I've just taken cold showers." Sam shrugged, "I didn't want to move any faster than you were."

 

"... Oh." Kurt said softly. "That's really sweet. And a little romantic.... And now I feel guilty." 

 

"Guilty?"

 

"I've jacked off, thinking about you." Kurt admitted, "In fact, since I met you... That's all I've thought about."

 

"Oh?" Sam leant in, grinning. "What like?"

 

"I'm not sharing." Kurt smirked, kissing Sam's nose. "You'll just have to have your own fantasies, whilst I get ready."

 

"I'm not going to." Sam said softly, "I don't.... I'm not sure I can let myself starting thinking like that, or that 95% is going to drop rapidly. The more I think about it, and you, the more I want it."

 

Kurt blushed, but nodded. "Okay.... But it's alright for me to...."

 

"Oh, yeah. Definitely." Sam laughed. "Want me to squeeze back into the Rocky costume?"

 

"I'm good. I know how much of its padding." 

 

"Hey, I didn't need the padding! You're the one who pushed for it." 

 

"So that people wouldn't be able to see your junk." Kurt growled, "Only I'm allowed to see it. The Quinn Fabrays of the world can imagine, but for now, the sights all mine." 

 

"You're hot when you get all possessive and dominant." Sam whispered, leaning in to kiss Kurt again. "Wanna watch Buffy?"

 

"Sure. I want to meet Faith." 

 


	10. Never Been Kissed

 

 

** Never been kissed **

****

"I don't know how you can stand those ice-baths, dude." Finn muttered in amazement, as Sam slid into the tub.

 

"I'm getting a lot of practice these days." Sam grinned back, "I'm dating someone who's never.... You know. So, I'm respecting their boundaries by not pushing. But it totally sucks."

 

"Tell me about it. How is it that the two Quarterbacks find the only two girls in high school who won't put out." Finn grinned, and if it wasn't so obvious he was trying to be friendly, Sam would have started pelting him with ice cubes. 

 

"Look, I love the making out. But it's always going so great and then...." Sam slapped his hands together in a manner reminscent of a car crash. "How do you deal with it?"

 

"Easy. I just... think about the opposite of what I'm doing." Finn smirked, "Like... The time I hit a postman with a car, that's a boner killer"

 

"I've never almost killed a civil servant before." Sam shot back.

 

"Well you have to find something to be your own buzz-kill." Finn shrugged, looking around. "You know, something that is totally not hot." 

 

The two sat in silence for a few minutes, as they considered it, until Coach Bieste came in shouting at Artie.

 

"Hey, do you ever notice how when the Bieste gets all fired up, her underpants go right up her butt." Finn pointed out, and Sam couldn't help but see it.

 

"Looks like I found my mail man." Sam hummed, trying to tear his eyes away as Coach Bieste straightened them out.

 

"Yes you did." Finn smirked. 

 

The two sat in a comfortable silence a little longer, as Sam tried to push that memory to one side, and Artie and the Bieste continued their argument as they moved to her office.

 

"Hey, who're you dating?" Finn finally asked, "I mean... Tinas with Mike, and Santana, Quinn and Brittany are definitely not virgins..."

 

"That'd be telling dude." Smirking, Sam threw an ice cube at Finn. "But it's none of them." 

 

Finn rolled his eyes. "Dude, Bros before Hoes."

 

Sam could feel the laughter bubbling over before he could stop it. "You're right Finn. Definitely, Bros before Hoes."

 

* * *

 

"Hey, are you okay?" Sam whispered to Kurt when he came in, resting a hand on his shoulder. "You look pissed."

 

"It's nothing." Kurt huffed, knocking the hand of his shoulder. "Don't."

 

"Okay, dude." Sam mumbled taking his hands away. "Just worried." 

 

Kurt shrugged, as he tried to tune back into what Mr. Shuester was saying. His day had sucked the big one. First, he'd argued with his dad about whether his jumper was too feminine for school, then he'd accidentally torn a page in his favourite book, a bug the size of Rhode Island hit his window shield, leaving a disgusting mark, and then.... Karofsky.

 

He'd honestly forgotten about the jock. He hadn't targetted Kurt in a few weeks, and Kurt had thought he'd moved on to greener pasteurs. But, no. He was just waiting until Kurt was in some kind of comfortable position before he started again, even worse. That locker slam was meant to bruise, rather than just have it as a happy coincidence. And he wasn't subtle at all, he'd literally reached in between them, and shoved Kurt.

 

Then, Santana made a gay joke, and now, Sam was trying to be the understanding boyfriend, and Kurt just couldn't deal with it. 

 

"Okay, split into two groups." 

 

Kurt didn't pay attention to Sam and Puck's annoyed looks as he stood up and walked towards the girls team.

 

"Kurt, I'm gonna say it again. Boys team." 

 

Kurt span around to face Mr. Shuester, wishing he had the energy to tear into him. Why would he want to work with a bunch of neanderthals who would have him humm and haww in the background. 

 

Still, he slid back into the boys team, bypassing the seats that Sam and Puck had saved and sitting next to Mike, staring forward and giving the group nothing.

 

"What do you think, Kurt?" Puck tried, grinning. 

 

"The amount I don't care right now, astonishes even me." Kurt huffed, straightening out his cheerios uniform. 

 

"Dude, I'm trying to include you."

 

"I'm not in the mood." Kurt muttered, grabbing his bag. "Text me your decisions so I can start working on learning my oohs and ahhs." 

 

He was out in the hallway before Sam caught up to him, looking worried. "Dude, seriously."

 

"Stop calling me Dude." Kurt hissed, "I'm not one of your idiot football player friends."

 

Sam opened his mouth to defend them, but caught himself when he looked Kurt over. "What happened?"

 

"Just... Karofsky. The usual." Kurt sighed. "And you can't do anything about it."

 

"I can get Puck to tackle him extra hard?"

 

"Puck always tackles him extra hard." Kurt sighed, "I just... wish I was somewhere where my talent was either appreciated, or at least blended in. If I could work with the girls..."

 

"You're not a girl though, Kurt." Sam said quietly, "You're a guy. I should know, we had the whole sexuality crisis already."

 

Kurt smiled slightly at that. "Sam, nobody will take my suggestions in that group."

 

"I would have. Puck would have." 

 

"So my idea for a mash up of My Strongest Suit from Aida, with Dress you up by Madonna would have gone over well?" Kurt pointed out, shaking his head. "Don't kid yourself. You're guys, you want to do manly songs about... Rock and Roll, and Cars, and getting girls pregnant." 

 

"Hey, why's Puck grabbing Artie's chair?"

 

"Sunshine told him he should try being a better person if he wants another shot at her. So... He thinks Artie will be his community service." 

 

Sam laughed and moved to his locker. "Come on, let me grab my books and..."

 

The slam came out of nowhere, and Sam could see Kurt hit the locker with enough force to bruise. He was opening his mouth to shout something, but Sam got there first.

 

"What the hell is your problem, Karofsky!"

 

"You standing up for your little girlfriend Evans?" Karofsky sneered, turning around to face Sam. "What's the matter, Hummel? Can't stand up for yourself so you get other guys to do it for you?"

 

"I didn't..." Kurt glanced at Sam.

 

"Oh, you're talking back now! You want a piece of The Fury?"

 

"The Fury?" Sam asked, raising an eyebrow. 

 

"It's what I called my fists."

 

"Well, with that level of creativity, you could easily become the assistant manager at a rendering plant." Kurt sneered, moving in front of Sam and pulling himself to full height.

 

"I don't know what that is. But if I find out it's bad? The Fury's going to find you." Karofsky growled back, and slammed Kurt up against the locker again. Sam moved to grab Karofsky, only to find himself slammed too.

 

"That could've gone better." He whispered, looking at Kurt. "Hey, you okay?"

 

Kurt shook his head, as Mr. Shuester turned the corner. The teacher took one look at the pair and brought them to his office.

 

"Is there anything I can do?" Mr Shuester asked, offering a small cup of water to Kurt. Kurt glanced at the water, then Sam, and finally sighed.

 

"No." He spared a small smirk at Sam, as he sipped the water. "This is my hill to climb alone."

 

"Can I be honest? I think it's getting to you. Usually, this stuff just rolls right off your back, but lately you've been belligerant, angry, pushing people away."

 

"Can I be honest with you?" Kurt shot back, leaning forward. "You, like everyone else at this school, are too quick to let homophobia slide." He offered the cup back. "And your lesson plans are boring and repetitive."

 

"Kurt, not helping." Sam said quietly. "Remember the whole, pushing people away."

 

"Come on, Sam. Boys vs Girls? That doesn't challenge any of us."  Kurt rolled his eyes.

 

"You mean, because I didn't let you join the girls like I wanted." Mr. Shuester said, dismissively.

 

"To answer your question, yes. I'm unhappy. And Yes. Being the only out gay kid at the school gets me down. But most of all? I'm not challenged in the least here."  Kurt answered as he grabbed his bag and moved to the door. 

 

"What do you mean?" Mr. Shuester asked, stopping him. 

 

"I am acing all of my language credits. My other grades are very good too. I am head of the Cheerioes, a co-captain of the Glee Club, a costume designer. I put together a couple of routines every week. But I'm bored. I never have to stretch myself to achieve any of that. I'm this far from pulling a Quinn Fabray or Santana Lopez and start causing trouble just to give myself something interesting to do, that doesn't involve being slammed up against the lockers by neanderthals from the football team." Kurt crossed his arms. "I feel like I never get to do anything I enjoy, that is challenging. Sure, I sing a Brittany number. Or I make costumes for Myself and Santana, or Myself and Sam. But that's all off my own back. You never rely on me for anything."

 

And with that, he was gone, in a walk out worthy of Rachel Berry.

 

* * *

 

 

This was a train wreck. Like.... Dear god. It was worse that the third spiderman movie.

 

"Stop!" Sam said, holding up a hand. "Just... Everyone, stop." 

 

Kurt paused with the boards under his arm, looking at Sam. "I think Puck just made everyone's position very clear."

 

"Because you're taking what Mr. Shuester said too far." Sam stood up. "Okay. Let's be honest here. We're not big on feathers and high fasion. That's fair to say, right?" Sam gestured to the football players. "And you're not happy with singing back up and feeling like you're always bowing to our demands, but not being relied upon. Right?"

 

"Right." Kurt said, crossing his arms. "You have a way to fix this?"

 

"Okay, so we need to work out  a way where you can feel like you're doing something, but we don't feel like we're forced to go anything too girly." 

 

"Dude, I'm not taking any kind of girly stuff." Puck crossed his arms. "I'm a stud."

 

"You're pissed because you're not getting any at the moment." Sam countered, "And come tomorrow, when you see how you've treated Kurt? You're going to regret it." 

 

Puck sighed, dropping his head. "I thought we had to sing songs by female groups." 

 

"Mr. Shuester will understand." Finn pointed out. "I think I get what he's aiming for. He's trying to show us how much it must suck for Kurt when we make him act all masculine and be shoved to the back, without listening to his opinion."

 

Kurt froze, nodding. "And I treated all of you, like you treated me. I wasn't willing to listen to your suggestions either." 

 

"Yeah. So... We all need to learn to respect what people can and can't do. I mean... We wouldn't choose to a really intense dance number, knowing me and Artie are part of it. Or a romantic duet, when Kurt's the only gay guy here."  Finn nodded. "So, let's... Talk about what we can do."

 

"I have..." Kurt paused, wincing. "I have a serious idea, if you'll listen." 

 

"Go for it." Sam grinned, "Come on, don't hold out on us."

 

"It would be a big number, and take a lot of planning. It's a medley of Katy Perry songs...." 

 

* * *

 

 "We really didn't expect you to be ready yet." Mr Shuester said leaning back. "So, what can you tell us about the piece before we start?"

 

"It's a lot of blending, but an all female cast. We worked out the second part of what you were trying to hint at, because when I thought I should be in charge, I abused the position too, unwilling to listen to other peoples ideas. We managed to find a way of working with each other though, when I toned back my ideas and they toned theirs up."

 

"Okay, well, let's see what you've done." Mr Shuester clapped, grinning.

 

Kurt grinned spining on the spot, and clicking his fingers, fading the stage into darkness, with a single spotlight lighting him.

 

**_(Kurt)_ **

_Greeting loved ones, let's take a journey_

 

Another light came up on a platform where Finn was sitting on what looked to be the back of a car. 

 

_**(Finn)** _

_The o-o-o-one..._

Kurt called attention back to himself, but pointed to a second stage where Artie and Mike were laying collapsed on a bed. Before he even finished his line however, a second light had come up on a platform with Sam stood on it, in board shorts and nothing else. 

 

**_(Kurt)_ **

_Baby you're a..._

 

**_(Sam)_ **

_California boy_

 

The final stage lit up, in the center, with Puck dressed in tight jeans a white undershirt and a leather jacket.

 

_**(Puck)** _

_Let's go all the way tonight, no regrets, just love._

_We can dance until we die, you and I, will be young forever!_

_You make me, feel like I'm living a teenage dream_

_The way you turn me on_

_I can't sleep_

_Let's run away and don't ever look back, don't ever look back._

_My heart stops, when you look at me_

_Just one touch, now baby I believe._

_This is real._

_So take a chance and don't ever look back, don't ever look back_

_I'mma get your heart racing_

_in my skin tight jeans,_

_Be your teenage dream tonight_

_Let you put your hands on me_

_In my skin tight jeans_

_Be your teenage dream tonight._

_Yeah!_

 

**_(Sam)_ **

_I know a place, when the grass is always greener_

_Warm, Wet and Wild, there must be something in the water_

_You can travel the world, but nothing comes close, to the golden coast_

_Once you party with us, You'll be falling in love- oh-oh-ohh!_

_California Boys, we're unforgettable_

_short board shorts, with nothing on top_

_Sun-kissed skin, so hot, we'll melt your popsicle._

_Oh-oh-oh-ohh!_

_California Boys, we're undeniable,_

_Fine, fresh, fierce we got it on lock_

_West Coast represent, now put your hands up_

_Oh-oh-oh-ohh!_

_**(Finn)** _

_In another life! I would be your boy,_

_We'd keep all our promises, be us against the world._

_In another life, I would make you stay_

_So I won't have to say you were the one that got away._

_The one who got away!_

_The One!_

_The One!_

_In another life, I would make you stay,_

_so I don't have to say you were the one that got away_

_**(Artie)** _

_There's a stranger in my bed_

_There's a pounding in my head_

_Glitter all over the room_

_Pink Flamingoes in the pool_

_I smell like a mini-bar_

_DJ's past out in the yard,_

_Barbies on the Barbeque_

_This a hicky or a bruise?_

_**(Kurt)** _

_Pictures of last night ended up on line_

_I'm screwed!_

_Oh well._

_It's a blacked out blur, but I'm pretty sure it ruled._

_**(Mike)** _

_Damn!_

_Last Friday Night!_

_Yeah we danced on table tops,_

_and we took too many shots._

_Think we kissed, but I forgot_

_Last Friday Night_

_Yeah we maxed our credit cards,_

_and got kicked out of the bars_

_So we hit the boulevard_

_Last Friday Night_

_We went streaking in the park_

_Skinny dipping in the dark_

_Then had a Menage et Troi_

_Last Friday Night_

_Yeah, I think we broke the law._

_Always say we're gonna stop-op-oh-woah-ah_

_But this Friday Night._

_Do it all Again_

The lighting altered again, and suddenly Sam was washed with blue and white lights, whilst everyone else faded into darkness.

 

**_(Sam)_ **

_You're So Hypnotizing._

_Could you be the devil_

_Could you be an angel_

_Your touching, Magnetizing_

_Feels like I am floating_

_Leaves my body glowing_

_They say, Be Afraid_

_You're not like the others_

_Futuristic lovers._

_Different DNA_

_They don't understand you._

_You're from a whole other world_

_A different Dimension_

_You opened my eyes_

_And i'm ready to go_

_lead me into the light._

_Kiss me. K-k-kiss me!_

_Infect me with your loving_

_Fill me with your poison_

_Take me. T-t-take me!_

_Wanna be a victim._

_Ready for abduction_

_You're an alien_

_Your touch so foreign_

_It's supernatural_

_Extra-terrestrial_

Finally, Kurt span on the spot again, as he began to sing.

 

**_(Kurt)_ **

_Do you ever feel_

_like a plastic bag_

_drifting through the wind_

_Wanting to start again_

_Do you ever feel_

_Feel so paper thin_

_Like a house of card_

_One touch from caving in_

_Do you ever feel_

_Already buried deep._

_Six feet under, scream_

_but no-one seems to hear a thing_

_Do you know that there's_

_Still a chance for you_

_Cause there's a spark in you_

_You just gotta_

_Ignite, The Light, And let it Shine_

_Just own the night, Like the fourth of july_

_Cause baby you're a firework_

_Come on show them what you're worth!_

_Make them go, Oh! Oh! Oh!_

_And you shoot across the sky-y-y!_

_Boom Boom Boom!_

_Even brighter than the moon_

_Boom Boom Boom!_

_Even brighter than the moon_

The girls were loudly applauding as the song finished, and the other boys climbed down from their stages. 

 

"Well done, boys!" Mr. Shuester clapped. "You managed to find a great balance between the theatrical and the natural, whilst singing a medley of a womans work, and it all fit together seemlessly." 

 

"It was Kurt really." Finn grinned, "I mean, we all got complete control of what we did in our bits, and he slotted them all together, and helped us with costume and practicing and stuff."

 

"That's great." Mr. Shuester grinned, and turned to the girls. "You're up next. Don't feel disheartened. It's not all about spectacle."

 

"Oh, we'll still perform, Mr. Shuester." Rachel grinned. "This just means that it's so on!"

 


	11. Never Been Kissed: Part Two

** Never Been Kissed **

 

Kurt was really suspiscious. 

 

Puck had 'leant' Sam and Kurt was of his favourite closets for them to have their post victory make out in, and Sam was being really respectful of his boundaries.

 

Like hands firmly on Kurt's waist, and no sign of any awkward erection (on Sam's part) or grinding.

 

Kurt broke a way for a moment, leaning in to kiss at Sam's neck. "You like this?"

 

"Yeah." Sam breathed, eyes shut tight. 

 

"Say my name?" Kurt whispered back, before pressing light kisses to Sam's neck.

 

"Bieste."

 

Kurt pulled away like he was burnt. "What?"

 

"What?" Sam asked, glancing down. "Sorry, did I catch you?"

 

Kurt shook his head slightly, pulling away. "I'm... I need to get ready for cheer practice."

 

"Kurt..." 

 

"See you later." Kurt mumbled as he slammed the door shut, and shot off as fast as he could towards the cheerleading practice. 

 

*** 

 

"Okay, Lady, I make a point of not doing this."  Coach Sylvester seemed to appear from nowhere, as Kurt found himself barely paying attention to the world, as he stood where the Cheerleaders had been practicing, staring at the football team practicing.  "But, do you want to talk about whatever it is that has you looking like I enacted some personal vengence on you?"

 

"I..." Kurt glanced around, and realised that he had completely sleep walked through the cheer-practice. "Coach Sylvester.... Have you ever felt like your partner would rather be with someone else than you."

 

"No. Never." 

 

"Oh." Kurt sighed, dropping his head. "I just... Things were going so well with Sam, and then we were making out, and he said Coach Bieste's name." 

 

Sue paused, and glanced at the football field. "Oh?"

 

"I heard him, and it made it so obvious. I've been thinking there's more to our relationship, and he's been thinking about women to get through kissing me." 

 

"Now, Lady, I'm sure thats not true." Coach Sylvester patted his shoulder. "But, just in case? You should do what ever part of your diva instinct is telling you to do."

 

"Confront him in public?" Kurt sighed, "You think that'll help?"

 

"It'll air out your differences and...." Coach Sylvester paused, checking a none existant watch. "I'm sorry, my minute of pretending to care is over. Goodbye." 

 

Kurt watched her walk away, and then saw Sam moving away from the football field, in his general direction. "Sam... I heard what you said n the closet, okay? You said Coach Bieste's name. So... I want you to tell me right now if you were thinking about her."

 

Sam paused and glanced at Kurt, and then the football field. "What?"

 

"I won't get mad." Kurt said quickly.

 

"Really? Because you look like you're going to be mad no matter what I say." 

 

"You said a woman's name!" Kurt snapped, as Sam tried to move past him. "Look, I get it. She's in a position of pour over you which can be exciting. And you clearly like women who give you a hard time. Like Quinn and..."

 

"I'm not having sexual fantasies about my football coach!" Sam finally snapped, stopping. "And I haven't been having fantasies about women at all!"

 

"Hey, Evans!" One of the football players shouted, drawing Sam's eyes away from Kurt for a moment, before he stepped in closer and whispered. 

 

"Can we talk about this in private?"

 

"Why?" Kurt snorted, putting a hand on his waist and glaring Sam down. "Am I embarrasing you?"

 

"Kurt, It's not what you think." 

 

That was the final straw, and Kurt felt his voice get a hell of a lot louder. "What I think? Is that whatever idiot you convinced to date you isn't putting out, and so you're getting your rocks off however you can, including with the Bieste!"

 

Sam stepped back a little as if he had been slapped, and Kurt felt a small bloom of satisfaction. He'd hit a sore spot. Sam was cheating on him. There was some tittering from the football players, and Kurt was about to lay in on Sam some more, when he heard Bieste's voice behind him.

 

"What's this?"

 

"The gays are having a lovers quarrel." One of the football players sneered, and Kurt felt his heart tighten up. "Apparently, it's all your fault!"

 

"Hey! Watch what you say, Stevens. You shit on my leg, I'll cut it off."  

 

Kurt snorted, giving Sam the stink eye. "The very picture of femininity. I'll leave you two."

 

"Kurt..."

 

Kurt ignored everything else as he stormed away. 

 

He got all the way inside the school before he began to calm down.

 

Regret was weird. It could take five seconds, or five weeks to kick in. For Kurt it hit around the time that Karofsky shoved him into a locker again.

 

If Sam were here, he would have protected him

 

But Sam couldn't be here, because Kurt insinuated that Sam was having sex with his football coach, in front of the entire football team.

 

Kurt was alone in this.

 

For a moment he just leant against the locker before he felt bile rise in his throat. He wasn't a child who couldn't defend himself. If he could confront his boyfriend in front of an entire football team, he could confront one of them in private.

  

* * *

 

"Kurt, you haven't been to school. We're worried about you." Rachel whispered, stroking his hair. "You missed my amazing performance. There was fire and everything." 

 

"I'm sure it was amazing." Kurt whispered.

 

Puck picked up the thread next, trying to keep Kurt engaged. "And I got Artie a date with Santana and Brittany."

 

"I'm sure that'll be very fun for him, Noah."

 

"Sam's been asking about you." Rachel whispered.

 

"Probably to make sure I'm not going to assault him in front of the football team again." 

 

"Dude, does the crazy just come with being head cheerleader?" Puck snorted. "Sunshine is definitely not joining the team."

 

"I know." Kurt groaned, "But he said Coach Bieste's name during making out!"

 

"You should totally make this into a musical." Rachel said, excitedly. "I'll play the beautiful best friend, who sings a number of amazingly heart felt solos during the show." 

 

"Don't encourage the crazy, Berry." Puck grumbled. "Look, just... We need you to come in tomorrow."

 

"Why?" Kurt sighed. "Do you need some costumes making? Because I could do that just as easily here."

 

"No. Mr Shuester has a guy auditioning, and we want to personally check him before hand." Puck grined, patting Kurt's head. "Come on, you get to be judgmental."

 

"I have to go in for a cheerios rehearsal anyway." Kurt shrugged. "I'll be there."

 

"Are you going to tell us what's wrong?"

 

"I did something stupid. And now I have to live with it."

 

He knew what they would think he meant. They would think that Kurt meant attacking Sam, but he meant the fact that he had chased Karofsky into that locker room, and let himself be kissed. 

 

Rachel would argue that he hadn't let anything happen. 

 

Puck would go and beat seven shades of crap out of Karofsky.

 

He had cheated on Sam. 

 

It was stupid. He hadn't done anything, but he felt like he had betrayed some sacred trust. He had been forced into sexual action with a guy he could barely stand. That was basically rape.

 

But he felt like he'd betrayed Sam.

 

* * *

 

 "Hello, my name is Sebastian Smythe, I'm a gay classmate at Dalton, and I am a spy." 

 

"Well, at least he's straight-forward." Kurt hummed, smirking at Rachel's aghast face as she mimed the word 'Spy' repeatedly.

 

"Dude, I know we said Rachel wasn't allowed to fall in love with anyone who's obviously a spy, but it totally extends to you too." Puck grunted, elbowing Kurt. 

 

"I will try to control myself." Kurt smirked. "So, you're a spy for the Warblers?"

 

"Yes. They found themselves uncomfortable with the fact that you have Rachel Berry, Yourself and Sunshine Corozan. My mission was to feed back to them information on your set list, try to convince you to leave with me to Dalton, and to sew as many seeds of chaos as possible." Sebastian checked his nails, as if he was bored. "However, I am not happy with them. They seem to think that because I'm younger, they can order me to leave the school and come here. So, I've decided, I will come here, and bring them down as completely as possible, and then next year, rebuild from the rubble of the last monarchy of Blaine Anderson." 

 

"Well..." Kurt crossed his arms and considered him. "Of course, it's not our decision, but we will be warning everybody of what you've said. Even if the smell of Craigslist on you should make it self evident."

 

"Nice." Sebastian grinned, looking Kurt over. "Are you a hobo dressing up, or a princess who got dragged through the stable?"

 

"Princess." Puck muttered with a small snort, before he caught himself.

 

"Okay, Thank you." Kurt sighed, "I've been in a rut recently. So. Do you have a song prepared?"

 

"I'd need a piano player." 

 

Kurt let out a louder sigh, "Again, I'm proud of the fact I never missed a day of piano lessons in my life." 

 

**_(Sebastian)_ **

_I'm not surprised_

_Not everything lasts_

_I broken my heart so many times I stopped keeping track_

_I talked myself in_

_I talked myself out_

_I get allworked up and then I let myself down_

_I tried so very hard not to lose you_

_I came up with a million excuses._

_I thought I'd thought of every possibilty._

_And I know some day that it'll all work out_

_And you'll make me work, so we can work to work it out._

_And I promise you kid, that I'll give so much more than I get._

_I just haven't met you yet._

_I might have to wait_

_I'll never give up_

_I guess it's half timing and the other halfs luck._

_Wherever you are_

_Wherever it's right_

_You'll come out of nowhere, and into my life._

_I know that we can be so amazing_

_And baby your love is gonna change me_

_And now I can see every possibilty_

_And somehow I know that it'll all turn out_

_And you'll make me work, so we can work to work it out._

_And I promise you kid, that I'll give so much more than I get._

_I just haven't met you yet._

_They Say_

_All's Fair_

_In Love_

_And War._

_But I won't need to fight it_

_Need to fight it_

_We're reunited!_

_I know that we can be so amazing_

_And being in your life is gonna change me_

_And now I can see every possibilty_

_And I know some day that it'll all work out_

_And you'll make me work, so we can work to work it out._

_And I promise you kid, that I'll give so much more than I get._

_I just haven't met you yet._

_And somehow I know that it'll all turn out_

_And you'll make me work, so we can work to work it out._

_And I promise you kid, that I'll give so much more than I get._

_I just haven't met you yet._

_I just haven't met you yet._

 

"Fag."

 

Kurt's fingers slipped on the last note, as he caught sight of Dave at the choir room door, before he moved away. His fingers were shaking, and He couldn't pull them off the note, keeping the dischordant note going.

 

"Princess, Fingers off the keys." Sebastian grumbled, prising Kurt's fingers gently off the key. "Can you two give us a minute?"

 

Rachel and Puck shared a look, and then walked out of the room. 

 

"So, who is the giant closet case." Sebastian asked, crossing his arms. 

 

"How... How can you tell." 

 

"Being gay, and a judgemental bastard. It makes for a great Gay-dar." 

 

Kurt sighed, "He's David Karofsky. He's on the football team, and he's been giving me a really hard time recently. I confronted him in the locker room, and he kissed me."

 

"Well that was stupid." Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Let me make something clear, Princess. People our size? Don't confront people his size directly. We do it sneakily, underhandedly, and in great numbers, so he doesn't snap our necks." 

 

"I just.... I feel like I cheated on my boyfriend." Kurt whispered. 

 

"Did you kiss him?"

 

"I said he kissed me."

 

"I didn't ask if he kissed you. Did you kiss him?"

 

"No."

 

"Then tell your boyfriend what happened. If he doesn't understand, then it's no big loss." Sebsastian shrugged.

 

Kurt sighed, looking Sebastian over. "Okay, You are very confusing. You're a spy, who claims to have changed his mind, and now is intending to help us, but openly confessed his plan and disdain of us?"

 

"I'm a bitch." Sebastian shrugged, "I'm likely to be mean, and sarcastic, but I am actually here to help." 

 

Kurt watched him for a long moment and then nodded. "Okay."

 

* * *

 

 

Kurt glared at Sam and Tina as they were told off by Mr. Shuester.  That is why you shouldn't have sex with faculty.

 

"We kind of figured out that picturing Coach Bieste whilst making out was even better than a cold shower." 

 

Kurt's brain came to a screaching halt, even as Sebastian turned to him with a questioning gaze. "What?"

 

"I mean, I don't. Like Ever." Finn said quickly, but Kurt's entire attention was on Sam who was blushing fiercely. 

 

"Oh, god. That makes... Oh god." Kurt muttered, turning forward and resting his head in his hands.

 

"Who's Coach Bieste." Sebastian finally asked holding up his hand awkwardly. "Because I feel like the loop is about a hundred miles that way, and I'm not in it."

 

"I have to go..." Kurt said quickly, grabbing his bag. "I need to... Not be here, right now."

 

"Kurt?" Mr Shuester asked, but Kurt was already rushing out of the door.

 

Sam caught him in the hallway, with a small smile. "This is starting to be a running theme."

 

"Sam... I...."

 

"Hey, it's okay." Sam assured, patting Kurt's hand. "You know now. And it's really humiliating, but it's out in the open."

 

"I accused you of fantasising about your teacher!" Kurt hissed. "It's not okay."

 

"You're right." 

 

Kurt paused, waiting for Sam to continue. "What?"

 

"It's not okay. I can't believe you would think I would do that to you. But... Now you know I didn't and wouldn't, and we can just... go back to how we were." 

 

"You can't just go back." Kurt sighed. "I know what you do now. I can't..."

 

"I won't do that anymore." Sam assured. "I'm going to... I'm going to take more cold showers, and there's gonna be a lot more awkward erections and you slapping my hands, but I won't think about anyone but you when we're making out." 

 

Kurt could feel his eyes tearing up, and he turned his head away. "I can't give you what you want, Sam."

 

"You already give me what I need. What I want can come later."

 

They stood in the corridor for a little longer, before Sam slid his hand into Kurts. "We should go back in." Kurt sighed, resting his head on Sam's shoulder. 

 

"We should."

 

"Set a good example for the new member. Talk about how we're going to apologise to Coach Bieste." 

 

"Yep."

 

"That's something we should do." Kurt looked up, glancing at the cleaning closet. "There's also that closet right there."

 

"We are really bad role models. And Finn's the one who started this whole thing off." Sam pointed out.

 

"10 minutes and then we go back in." Kurt grinned, as he lead Sam into the closet. 

 

* * *

 

 

The next time Karofsky locker slams Kurt.... It hurts. Like... Really, really hurts. For a minute he can't breath, and theres hate and rage spinning in his chest.

 

Then, Kurt catches sight of Sam walking down the corridor, and he can breath again. Karofsky can't ruin that for him. He can try, but he's already done his worst. Now, Kurt just has to deal with the physical bullying, and really? He's been dealing with that for years. 

 

"So, I was thinking, you and me. Breadstix tonight. I'll bring the dashing good looks, and you bring the fun conversation." Sam grinned as he leant against the locker next to Kurts. 

 

"You'll have to cope with a discussions revolving around musicals and fasion."

 

"... Make you a deal." Sam grinned, "I will honestly listen to your opinions on fashion and music, if at the next football game, before I get ready, you give me a good luck kiss." 

 

Kurt grinned stepping forward, "You drive a hard bargain."

 

"I know, I'm terrible." Sam grinned, "So, deal?"

 

"Deal." Kurt grinned, glancing around. "I'm glad Coach Bieste decided to stay. She's a good woman, and .... I feel a kinship with her."

 

"Hey, I know for a fact at least three people imagine you naked quite a lot." Sam laughed.

 

"You, and...?"

 

"Tina and Mike. Apparently they want a threesome after the Duets performance." Sam grinned. 

 

"Wait... A girl wants me?" Kurt held a hand over his heart. "I'm cured! I want the girls!" 

 

"Okay, quoting Buffy on me now are we?" With a small smirk. "You'd totally be a better Willow."

 

"But then you'd be my Tara. And I'm not big on her finale."

 

"Did you know that the original end for season seven had her come back to life, but they couldn't get the people together at the right time." Sam pointed out, walking Kurt to his next class. "It was going to be this whole big thing of Buffy gets one wish for closing the hellmouth, and then at the end, she tells Willow that she got a new pair of shoes, and Willow's all like 'You wasted a wish on shoes?' and Buffy's like 'No, silly.' And steps aside, to reveal Tara." 

 

"Romantic." Kurt grinned. "But you're not dying of gunshot wounds." 

 

"As long as you promise not to end the world."

 

They stood outside the door for a moment, and Kurt took a deep breathe. "Well, Samuel Evans.... I'll see you tonight."

 

"I'll see you then, Princess." Sam grinned turning away.

 

"NO! That nickname is not catching on!" Kurt called after the retreating blonde, stamping his foot ineffectually. "Samuel Evans, stop laughing and walking away right now!"

 


	12. The Substitute

 

** The Substitute **

 

"It appears we have reached an Impasse." Kurt crossed his arms and glared at Rachel.

 

"It appears we have." Rachel replied, her hands tense at her side.

 

"You won't back down?"

 

"Will you?"

 

"You know that's a stupid question, Rachel."

 

"Oh good god." Satana cut in, glaring. "You are literally having an arguement about who we're going to be mad at for a week."

 

"With Mr. Shuester ill, it falls to a co-captain to lead the lessons within that week." Kurt turned to the class room. "We need to be working on our set list for Sectionals." 

 

"What would you suggest?" Sebastian asked, putting his feet on the chair in front of him. 

 

"Well, we should start by working out what solo we want me to sing." Rachel moved to the board, only for Kurt to snatch the board pen out of her hand. 

 

"No, we should work out what theme we're going with. Your voice might not fit that theme." 

 

"My voice fits every theme."

 

"Except talented." 

 

"You take that back right now, Kurt Elizabeth Hummel!"

 

"Aren't you going to split this up." Mike turned to Puck. Puck just shrugged back.

 

"You gotta let them get it out of there system a little, otherwise they just turn on you." 

 

"They're terrifying." Mike mumbled, leaning back. 

 

"I feel like I should leave." Sam whispered to him. "Like... Just as a test, to see if they notice."

 

"Samuel Evans, you stay sat right there." Kurt pointed without looking. "Mercedes stop texting, and Tina stop writing on Brittany's arm."

 

"I'm leaning more towards Rachel now." Tina capped her pen. "She doesn't shout at me."

 

"See? I have the love of the common person, Kurt." 

 

"And, I'm back to neutral." Tina muttered, leaning on Mike's side. "Couldn't we just get a substitute?"

 

There was silence for a moment, as Rachel suddenly switched to panic as Kurt switched to smug. "There's no need to..."

 

"Oh, I think there is." Kurt laughed, clapping his arms. "If I can't have control, then no-one will!"

 

"It should be worrying how much he sounds like a super-villain." Sam hummed, crossing his arms.

 

"Who would you get?"

 

"I know just the woman. She's fun, high spirited, talented..."

 

"We need order, and discipline and..."

 

"Someone who'll just agree with you?"

 

Rachel glared at Kurt for a moment, and then dramatically stormed to her seat. Kurt grinned and clapped his hand. "Okay, everyone. This rehearsal is canceled, we'll have another tomorrow, when I've asked the substitute into our lesson."

 

* * *

 

"Your little happy dance when you beat Rachel was adorable." Sam whispered, "Little bit mean, but adorable."

 

"Thank you." Kurt grinned leaning back against Sam's chest. They were in his bedroom again, and some movie about space cowboys was on the TV but neither were paying much attention, "I'll keep it in mind."

 

"So, what do you want out of this week." Sam asked, "I mean, Puck and Santana already got the Forget You number out of it..."

 

"I don't know." Kurt shrugged, "Generally, if I want to do a number, I do it." 

 

"What about... erm..." Sam glanced, "Trying something new? Or be sneaky, and get a song and dance with the cutest boy in there." 

 

"You really think Mike would go with that?" 

 

Sam pouted for a second, and then wrapped his arms around Kurt. "You know what I meant."

 

"You're sure?" Kurt asked. "I mean, people..."

 

"People can get lost." Sam said quietly. "I want a chance to sing with my boyfriend. Or dance." 

 

"We'll dance." Kurt assured. "We'll have a big romantic musical number, and dance the night away." 

 

"I'm going to hold you to that."

 

"So..." Kurt shuffled around. "Why did Coach Sylvester want with the boys locker room?"

 

"She said she was disbanding the football team." Sam grinned, "Then Bieste reminded her that without the football team, the Cheerioes have no-one to cheer for." 

 

"She's getting into a slump. I give it a week before she turns on the Glee Club." Kurt rolled his eyes. "I'm looking forward to what she does next. If you can take out the unimaginable panic, and fear about what she's going to do? It's pretty funny."

 

Sam grinned, "I'm sure my big scary boyfriend will protect me." 

 

"I'm the big scary one?" Kurt laughed, "I thought the Quarterback should have been."

 

"Meh, I have to be nice to everybody on the team." Sam shrugged. "So, you get to be the one who screamed at the Quarterback in the middle of the football pitch, nearly got the Coach to quit, and apparently once wore a skirt to school."

 

"It was a kilt." Kurt said quickly. "And, I thought we were letting that other stuff go." 

 

"Where's the fun in never referencing our past adventures."

 

"You suck." Kurt pouted.

 

"Not recently. I have, however, been told I'm very good at it." 

 

Kurt grinned, and leaned in to kiss Sam. "Can't wait to find that out."

 

* * *

 

 

"Kurt, what the hell are you doing." Mercedes snapped, as Kurt lifted the plate of tots off her tray.

 

He tried not to feel guilty, by remembering exactly what happened to the last boy who didn't follow Coach Sylvester's orders. "Principle Sue has decided that nutrition at this school must be tackled. The opening move is the banning of Potato Tots." 

 

"And you're just going with it blindly?" 

 

"Mercedes, it's fried potato. Not having it isn't going to kill you." Kurt rolled his eyes.

 

"Aw, Hell no. I'm talking about your whole attitude recently Mr." Mercedes grabbed the plate. "You've been too busy for your friends, and a massive control freak in Glee Club. So, what's going on with you?"

 

"I don't have time for this Mercedes." Kurt snapped, yanking the plate away. "Try the salad bar." 

 

He stalked away, throwing the plate in the bin as he walked. Coach Sylvester had said he only had to do Mercedes' tray and then he could leave. Meanwhile, the girl who had recently shook at the top of the pyramid, was lugging out the bags of frozen potatoes one by one. 

 

It was a good idea to stay in her good books.

 

* * *

 

 

"Question for you, Hummel." 

 

Kurt paused in midstep as Dave's hand slapped on his shoulder. He'd been on his way to apolgise to Mercedes, after a week of not talking. Yesterday, he'd had the amazing afternoon rehearsal, where Miss Holiday had suggested Kurt teach Sam how to waltz, as it was a skill that would always come in useful. And around him, Rachel had taken Finn in hand, and Sunshine with Puck. Sebastian seemed to alternate between Tina and Mike, when they weren't dancing themselves.

 

And nobody batted an eyelid. He was able to dance with Sam for a full hour, and they just grinned at each other feeling so close. So happy.

 

Kurt turned to face Karofsky. "You're going to assault the head cheerleader again, whilst Sue is Principle." He asked, wiping off the shoulder of his Cheerio uniform.

 

"I just want to know if you told anyone." Karofsky spat, "You know how you..." It was only a split second, but for that split second, Kurt could see fear and worry in Dave's eyes. "How you kissed me?"

 

"You kissed me, Karofsky." Kurt said calmly, "And I understand how hard this is for you to deal with. So... No. I haven't told anyone."

 

"Good." Karofsky said quietly, leaning in. "Keep it that way, because if you do? I'm going to kill you."

 

"No. You're not."  Sebastian's voice came from behind Karofsky, as he held up a little recorder and pressed the stop button. "Because I just got your threat on tape. Along with an admission from both of you that you, David Karofsky, forced yourself on another boy."

 

Kurt's eyes nearly bulged out of his head, as Sebastian calmly slid the recorder into his pocket and stepped out of Karofsky's reach when he lunged at him. "Sebastian."

 

"I don't like homophobes, Karofsky." Sebastian said, calmly, as he threw an arm around Becky Jackson. "And I know for a fact that if you come anywhere near this beautiful lady, Sue Sylvester will rip you apart on the spot. So, Becky. Would you mind walking me and Kurt to the car?"

 

"Sure, Sebastian." Becky grinned bouncing on the spot.

 

"Outstanding." Sebastian grinned. "Toodles, Davey."

 

Kurt rushed to keep up with Sebastian, and Becky. "How did you..."

 

"Well considering the fact that he was jittering like a meth addict in his last class, and then aimed himself right at your locker? I assumed he was coming after you. And you would be too stupid to carry some kind of recording device." 

 

"You just carry a recording device? In your day to day life?" Kurt asked, looking at Sebastian. "Why?"

 

"For situations that need recording." Sebastian rolled his eyes, and looked at Kurt like he was a crazy one. "Thanks for walking us out, Becky."

 

"No problem." Becky grinned, and pulled Sebastian down by his arm and pecked his cheek.

 

Sebastian pushed Kurt into his car, and then climbed into the drivers seat. "We'll come back for your car later. Right now, we need to discuss..."

 

The knock on the window made him pause, and turn to find Karofsky stood there, looking somewhere between terrified and awkward.

 

"I can run over his foot." Sebastian offered. 

 

"Stay in the car. If he attacks me, get that recording to Sue Sylvester or the police, or whoever needs it." Kurt said, as he climbed out of the car. "Dave."

 

"Hummel... Kurt. Please. Don't do this to me." Dave said quietly, his eyes terrified. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say it. I just... I paniced, and you always do what I want when you're scared, and..."

 

"You're not helping your case, David." Kurt sighed, closing the car door, and walking around to the other side. "I understand what you're going through, Dave. The self-loathing, the complete lack of understanding..."

 

"You don't know anything." Dave hissed. "I've seen your dad. He loves you. My mom says gay people are sick."

 

"I'm sorry, that you have to be brought up in that environment, David. But I can't let you threaten my life. I can't..."

 

"I won't. I swear Kurt. Promise not to tell anyone, and I won't touch you again." David said, holding up his hands. 

 

"Dave, I will never out you against your will." Kurt said carefully. "But I'm going to need more than you not hurting me. I want.... I want you to talk to some people. Okay? I want you to understand that you're not alone." 

 

"I know. There's you, and I'm guessing the guy in the cars your boyfriend."

 

"Urgh, no." Kurt gagged, "He's the slimiest guy I've ever come across."

 

"Love you too Hummel." Sebastian rolled down his window.

 

"Look, David. Listen to me." Kurt said, calmly. "I want you to promise me something, okay?"

 

"What?" David asked, frowning.

 

"Don't hurt yourself."

 

"I... I won't. I wouldn't.... I don't think I would." David blinked, stumbling over his words. 

 

"I want to remind you that the only people who know are myself and Sebastian right now. And we're not telling anyone, okay?" Kurt continued. "Your mom does not have to know. Your dad doesn't have to. Nobody but three of us have to know, until you're ready."

 

"Until I'm ready?" Dave grunted, "What if I'm never ready?"

 

"Then we'll keep your secret. But you will stop being a homophobic bully, you understand?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"Right. Now... I'm going to tell you a secret." Kurt said gently. "I know somebody on the football team who isn't straight. Would you like to meet them?"

 

"They're gay?"

 

"Not exactly." Kurt said, "But, would you want to meet them?"

 

"... Yeah. I guess."

 

"Good. Then tomorrow, after football practice, come to my house." Kurt said gently. "That okay?"

 

"Sure." Dave said a little more calmly. "You're not going to tell people?"

 

"I won't." Kurt said, as he climbed back into the car. "But if you do anything, Sebastian can and will."

 

"Goodbye, Davey." Sebastian grinned, as he kicked the car into gear and drove away.

 

* * *

 

"Whoa. That makes a really scary amount of sense." Puck grunted, as he rested his head on the end of Kurt's bed. "I mean, I always thought it was a freaky that his dad was such a nice guy, and he turned out like that. I'll definitely meet him."

 

"So, do you just keep most of the world's gay in this room, or is it drawn here." Sebastian hummed as he poked Kurt's Tony-replica.

 

"Sebastian." Kurt said warningly.

 

"Fine, I'll try and tone down the bitchiness." Sebastian rolled his eyes. "I thought public school would let me be more of a bitch." 

 

"Yeah, no." Puck snorted. "Being a bitchy Gay just gets you noticed."

 

"As opposed to being omnisexual like you?" Sebastian rolled his eyes.

 

"People don't know." Puck shot back. "And I'm not omnisexual. I'm just confusing."

 

"Uh.... Kurt, there's a guy from the football team up here." Burt shouted from the top of his stairs. 

 

"Send him down!" Kurt shouted back, rubbing his hands together briefly. "Please don't explode." He added mostly to himself as he stood up.

 

Dave slumped down the stairs awkwardly, looking worried and a little annoyed. "Hey, Kurt."

 

"Dave. I'm glad you chose to join us." Kurt said warmly. "Help yourself to a seat. Would you like some lemonade?"

 

"I.... I'm good thanks." Dave looked at Kurt like he was crazy.

 

"Hey, Karofsky." Puck nodded, dwaing attention to himself. "I'm going to warn you, that I kinda want to pound on you, for hurting my boy."

 

"It's Puck?" Dave asked, crossing his arms. "That's not right."

 

"Uh, dude? Like you have a place to speak." Puck snorted, "I'm not gay. Relax. I'm just not.... Straight."

 

"Puck identifies as Queer." Kurt offered helpfully. 

 

"Isn't that an insult?" Dave asked, awkwardly, sitting down.

 

"Depending who you're speaking to." Kurt shrugged. "It's a classification within the LGBTQ spectrum too. Don't call someone it, but you can call yourself it, is a good rule."

 

"But yeah. I'm not Gay, and I'm not Bi." Puck shrugged. "Guys don't do much for me. But I like macking on them, and if it's a threesome I can help a dude out."

 

"Oh." Dave blinked, "So... That's supposed to reassure me?"

 

"It's supposed to point out that sexuality has nothing to do with femeninity, like myself, or masculinity, like you and Puck." Kurt gestured. "I could introduce you to my boyfriend, but he's not out at school."

 

"Not even to the Glee Club?" Dave asked, looking to Puck for an answer.

 

"Dude, doing anything in the Glee Club is a recipe for it become public knowledge." Puck shrugged. "But, yeah, I can say that Kurt's boyfriend is just a normal guy. He's not gay either. Pan-sexual, right?"

 

"Yeah." Kurt nodded. 

 

"Wait, there's so many words...." Dave sighed, can you walk me through it?"

 

"Okay." Sebastian said, sliding into the conversation. "You have gay men. They're attracted to men. Easy enough, right?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"Okay, now, Bisexual Men, like men and women."

 

"Right... But isn't that just like.... I dunno."

 

"It's a perfectly legitamate sexuality." Kurt jumped in. "It's not 'one foot out of the closet' or 'experimenting'." 

 

"Okay." Dave nodded.

 

"Then you have people who are attracted to people based on personality rather than physicality." Sebastian said. "But considering you kissed Kurt, I'm guessing it's the body that does it for you?"

 

"I feel like that's a compliment." Kurt whispered to Puck, who smirked. 

 

"I don't know. Girls have never really done it for me, but my mom just said I was a late bloomer. And recently I've noticed ... guys more often. You know?"

 

"That's perfectly reasonable." Kurt smiled warmly. "Now, it's not our place to label you, but it might help you to say what you think you are, outloud." 

 

Dave opened his mouth and closed it again awkwardly.

 

"Want me to go first?" Kurt offered. "I'm Kurt Hummel. And I'm Gay."

 

"Sebastian Smythe. Gay."

 

"Noah Puckerman. Queer."

 

"David Karofsky.... G-gay." 

 

"Uh... Kurt? Your dad asked me to come down and... uh..."  The group swung around, to find Finn stood on the stairs awkwardly. "I'll just... Go."

 

"No you will not." Kurt snapped. "Come here, now."

 

"Dude, I can just pretend I heard nothing." Finn held up his hands. "You know like I pretend I don't hear stuff when Sam comes over."

 

"It's Sam?" Sebastian turned on Kurt, glee in his eyes.

 

"Oh, for god sake!" Kurt threw his hands up. "Finn Hudson. Come here, and sit down."

 

Finn dutifully walked down the stairs and sat next to Puck. "Hey, dude."

 

"Hey. You freaking out?"

 

"No." Finn shook his head. "I mean, After the whole... Lamp thing? I educated myself as best I could. I know the statistics said there should be more than Kurt in school. But you could have told me, douche."

 

"Okay, Finn? I want you to tell Dave that you're not going to tell anyone his sexuality." Kurt insisted.

 

"I totally won't. I mean... I didn't tell anyone about Sam, and I didn't make him tell me. And Kurt knows way too much about me from living with me, so I'd be too scared to anyway."  Finn assured, grinning at Dave. "And Dude, I'm glad that you're finding help about this. I mean, you shouldn't have to deal with it alone."

 

"You're not going to make a big deal out of it?" Dave asked, looking at Finn like he was crazy.

 

"Not unless you want me to." Finn shrugged. "Why, are we planning a coming out party or something?"

 

"No, we're reassuring Dave that there's nothing wrong with him. Trying to get him to a point where he doesn't need blackmailing to not be self destructive." Sebastian hummed. "Frankly, getting a little bored."

 

"And that is why Gay people get a bad name." Kurt rolled his eyes. "Okay, so yes. Since Finn has no ability to read a situation? I am dating Sam Evans. The Quarterback."

 

"One of the Quarterbacks." Finn cut in quickly, rolling his eyes when Puck smirked at him.

 

"And we can all agree that Sam, other than the hair, is not a very flamboyant guy." 

 

"I stared at his ass." Dave said quietly, and then seemed to realise he'd said it outloud. "Uh... I mean..."

 

"Dude, don't sweat it. I spend most conversations with him, staring at his lips." Puck grinned, "I bet he gives great head."

 

"Getting a little too gay for me." Finn held his hands to his ears.

 

"Grow up, Finn. I listen when you're upset about Rachel." Kurt rolled his eyes.

 

"And I watch the game with Burt and turn the volume up loud when you're downstairs with Sam. Seems like we both win." Finn smirked.

 

"This is going to get annoying fast." Kurt sighed. "Look. Karofsky. I can't make you okay with what you are. But you understand there's nothing wrong with it, don't you?"

 

"Yeah."

 

"And bullying gay kids just draws attention to you dude." Finn shrugged. "I mean... People start paying attention to you? And they really will start noticing stuff."

 

"You're all so weird." Dave grumbled. "Not... .Because of the gay things... Just, I can't imagine my friends being this reassuring."

 

"They maybe you need better friends." Puck pointed out. "If you stop bullying us, the Glee Club would come round to you. I remember when we were friends, K. You were a good guy."

 

"I... It's a lot to sink in." Dave said carefully. "I need some time." 

 

"Take all the time you need." Kurt assured. "Just... If you need to talk? We're here."

 

"Okay. Cool." Dave said stepping away. "I'll.... I'll see you later."

 


	13. Furt

 

**Furt**

 

Kurt literally bounced into the choir room, his eyes alight with humor. "Mr. Shuester. I have an announcement for myself and Finn, and I have so many feelings that I believe this demands an immediate musical number."

 

"Uh... Sure." Mr. Shuester laughed gesturing to the class. "Go ahead.

**_(Kurt)_ **

_Sun's up,_

_It's a little after 12_

_Make breakfast for myself_

_Leave the work for someone else._

_People say_

_They say that it's just a phase_

_They tell me to act my age_

_Well, I am_

_On this Perfect Day_

_Nothing standing in my way_

_On this Perfect Day_

_Where nothing can go wrong_

_On this Perfect Day_

_Tomorrow's gonna come too soon_

_I could stay forever as I am_

_On this perfect day_

_Sun's down, A little after ten_

_I pick up all my friends, in my Mercedez Benz_

_Wake up_

_Don't tell me it's just a dream_

_Cause when I've had enough_

_You'll hear me say_

_Now don't you try to rain on my_

_Perfect Day_

_Nothing standing in my way_

_On this Perfect Day_

_Where nothing can go wrong_

_On this Perfect Day_

_Tomorrow's gonna come too soon_

_I could stay forever as I am_

_On this perfect day_

_I'm in the race_

_but I already won_

_And getting there can be half the fun_

_So don't stop me till I'm good and done_

_Now don't you try to rain on my_

_Perfect Day_

_It's my perfect day_

_It's the Perfect Day_

_Nothing going to bring me down_

_I could stay forever as I am_

_On this perfect day_

_Nothing standing in my way_

_On this Perfect Day_

_Where nothing can go wrong_

_I'm in the race_

_but I already won_

_And getting there can be half the fun_

_So don't stop me till I'm good and done_

_Now don't you try to rain on my_

_Perfect Day_

_On this perfect day._

_On this Perfect Day._

By the time he had finished, Kurt had all the girls up on their feet, dancing amongst them, and finally dragging Sam up to twirl him repeatedly. Everyone collapsed into their seat, laughing and much amused.

 

"Kurt that was great. So much energy and fun." Mr. Shuester clapped grinning wildly. "So, what's your news?"

 

"Well, New Directions has a new vocation." Kurt grinned, looking around the class. "Wedding singers. For Burt Hummel's marriage to Carole Hudson."

 

Rachel and Puck gave short yells running forward and embracing Kurt in a tight hug as Rachel and Kurt bounced.

 

 

* * *

 

 

"Dude, is it safe for you to be doing that?" Finn asked, resting against the mirror as Sam worked out. "I mean, It's a lot of weight. Could get your shoulder all messed up." 

 

"It doesn't feel messed up." Sam grunted, dropping the weights to the ground. "I'm getting ready to beat you out for fulltime Quarterback."

 

"Hey, we're pretty even on wins here."

 

"Dude, I still want to be friends. But I'm kind of on the verge of being one of the most popular guys in school." Sam hummed, as he got some lighter weights and continued.

 

"No, yeah, totally." Finn shrugged. "Didn't realise you had started on that whole thing again. Otherwise you'd be dating the head cheerleader or something." 

 

Sam paused, and slowly lowered the weights. "You worked it out?"

 

"Didn't take much. Quick tip, if you're going to leave hickeys, don't do it everytime you come over, dude." Finn grinned nudging Sam softly, and glancing around. "What? Kurt still not putting out, so you're having to take out your energy on the field?"

 

"Being on top means you don't have to put up with crap. Like slushy facials and teasing." Sam sighed. "When he decides he wants to go public? I want to be able to support him best I can."

 

"Being the only Quarterback doesn't mean you're going to be on top." Finn paused, resisting the urge to make a joke.

 

Sam nodded slowly. "So... You gonna tell people about me and..."

 

"No, dude. Don't worry." Finn rolled his eyes. "I'm not a douchebag."

 

"Cool." Sam sighed. "We are, right? Cool."

 

"Yeah, totally." Finn grinned, offering his fist to bump. "Just... Don't get hurt trying to push yourself. You can't be on top with shredded muscles."

 

* * *

  

Kurt had just finished convincing Finn of his Mother-Son dance idea when Finn got an odd look in his eyes. "I... Uh... I let Sam know, that I know, you know?"

 

"Too many knows in that sentence, Finn." Kurt said, taking a second to catch on. "Oh. So he knows... that you.... know."

 

"Yeah. Made sure he knew we were cool, and that nobody told me." Finn grinned. "I should totally get an award for working it out." 

 

"You do, it's called survival of the fittest." Kurt dead panned. "With observational skills you might manage to pass some along to your children."

 

"Uh... Finn? Kurt?" 

 

Kurt closed his locker quickly, to find Dave stood there looking positively sick. "Karofsky? Are you..."

 

"I... Uh... I felt so good, after I spoke to you all... I did something stupid." Dave whispered, "Can... Can we talk somewhere?"

 

Finn blinked, glancing at Kurt. "Choir room'll be free." 

 

"Just us, Dave? Or do you want Puck and Sebastian there."

 

"Just someone." Dave whispered. "I spent the night in my car."

 

"Oh." Kurt said, with nothing else to say. "Come on. Choir room." 

 

Finn walked a little behind them, and Kurt made sure not to touch Dave, but kept close enough so he wouldn't lose him. When they were finally in the choir room, Finn put posters over the windows. "Okay, no-one can see in." 

 

"I.... I told my parents." Dave whispered. "My mom said.... She said she was happy for me. I thought it was going well. And then she said... Now that I know I have a problem, I can fix it." 

 

Kurt didn't hesitate, and wrapped his arms around Dave. "I'm so sorry." 

 

"It was stupid. You said I didn't have to tell them." 

 

"It wasn't stupid." Kurt assured. "It was brave. So very very brave." 

 

"Dude, I can't work up the courage to tell my mom I had the last of the bread. It's amazing you were so strong to be that honest with them, man." Finn said quickly, pulling three seats into the centre of the room. "Did... Did your dad say anything?"

 

"He argued with my mom. I kept trying to go upstairs to bed, but my mom said that I couldn't sleep under her roof until I agreed to get help." 

 

"You should have come to our house." Kurt said. "I would have kicked Finn out of the spare room, and you could have slept there."

 

"We're not friends, Hummel." Dave spat, and then instantly looked like he regret it. "I mean.... We don't know each other."

 

"You're right. But like it or not? I'm going to help you." 

 

"Right, so have you got somewhere to sleep tonight?" Finn asked, crossing his arms. 

 

"My Trucks got big seats."

 

"That's a no." Finn sighed, rubbing his forehead. "Here are your choices. The Hudson-Hummel house. The Puckerman House. Or, we buy you a hotel room."

 

"I can't let you buy me a hotel room." Dave grumbled.

 

"Then two options. Pick one." Finn crossed his arms.

 

"... Yours."

 

"Good choice. Sarah snores like hell. It's no wonder Puck spends as much time as possible sleeping at girls houses." Kurt grinned. "Okay. So that is sorted out. Now... Will you come with me to speak to Miss Pillsbury? There might be something that the school can do to help."

 

"You think?" Dave asked.

 

"Yeah. They might be able to put your dad in contact with someone to help. Make your mom aware of the illegality and horrors of conversion therapy. Mediate." Kurt smiled. "You're not alone in this."

 

"I just... I half expected you to slam the locker door shut and walk away." Dave whispered quietly, and Kurt wrapped him up in another hug. 

 

"We're not walking away, Dave."

 

* * *

 

"Okay, this is something I can do something about." Emma nodded. "First of all, I'm so proud of you both for putting your past interactions behind you, and being there for each other."

 

"I'm not exactly being there for Kurt." Karofsky grunted, folding in on himself. Kurt sighed, and glanced at the wall of windows behind them.

 

"You understand that in terms of privacy, that is the most ridiculous thing ever, right?" Kurt pointed. "I thought this was a councilling office."

 

"It promotes an openness where people can feel that they can come and speak to me." Emma said gently. "If you would prefer, we can go elsewhere."

 

"No." Dave shook his head. "People would notice that more. I just.... What can I do about my parents?"

 

"Unfortunately, there's nothing I can do to make them stop fighting." Emma sighed gently. "I know that this can be horrible, I've seen kids torn up about this before. But... You have to understand it isn't your fault."

 

"But it is! Me being.... you know, is there reason they're fighting."

 

"No. The fact that your mother can't accept you is the reason they're fighting. Now, I have a number for your father. Would you like to ring him, and speak to him?"

 

"Yeah... I left my phone in the house."

 

"I guessed." Emma smiled. "In fact, why don't we call your father in? You're not in trouble, but it might be good for you to see the support he can offer." 

 

"If I may make a suggestion?" Kurt held up a hand. "My father could also be a help. I'm going to be honest, there's a chance Dave's father will be just as confused as Dave was. Dave reacted best to seeing a person like him going through a similar ordeal."

 

"That's a great idea." Emma turned to Dave. "What do you think?"

 

"Y-yeah." Dave nodded. "But I don't want to be a problem."

 

"Your physical, emotional or psychological wellfare are never a problem." Emma assured, with Kurt nodding along. "We'll get them both in. And until then, you should go and try to get through your classes."

 

* * *

  

Dave was just getting his pants on, when he saw Mike and Artie start towards him. 

 

"We heard you've been messing about with Kurt. And you were dragged into the guidance office with him." Artie glared. "Look, we don't want a problem. But Kurt is our boy, and you're not going to hit him again."

 

Dave swallowed hard, glancing around. Too many football players for him to announce anything. "Look, you stick to your business, and I'll stick to mine."

 

"No, you don't get it." Mike snarled, slamming the locker shut. "We're not asking you."

 

"We're telling you." Artie finished.

 

"Leave me alone, freaks." Dave muttered.

 

Mike took a step forward, raising his fist, and Karofsky let instinct take over. One shove, and Mike was knocking Artie out of his chair. A moment later, and there was a flash of blonde, and he could feel himself being punched and kicked. He gave back as good as he got, until finally someone pulled them apart. "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!" Coach Bieste yelled in his ear. 

 

"I think I can help with that." Sebastian said, as he finally came out of the shower. a towel firmly in place. "Blondie needs to go to speak to Hummel, because he has the wrong end of the stick. And Wheels and Chang need to step back."

 

"Dude, you're on his side?" Mike muttered, standing up.

 

"There are no sides." Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Thinking there are sides is what makes your ridiculous group so easy to tear apart. Right now, Sam needs to speak to Kurt, and I'm going to check on David here." 

 

"Dude, you're gonna let the fag touch you." One of the watching jock's sneered. 

 

"Hey, I heard there was a ...." Finn stumbled through the door, with Puck right behind him. "Sam, dude, what happened to your face." 

 

"He, along with the other members of your jock friends, decided to beat on Karofsky." Sebastian muttered. "Because he's assaulting Kurt, and he was 'dragged into the guidance office'"

 

"Guys, seriously?" Finn groaned. "You're all so... Miss Pillsbury doesn't deal with fights! If someone beat on Kurt, they'd be dragged straight in front of Principle Sue."

 

"EVERYONE CLEAR OUT!" Coach Bieste yelled. "OTHER LOCKER ROOM, NOW!"

 

Everyone muttered as they left, leaving the Glee kids and Karofsky. 

 

"Right, I don't know, and I don't care what's going on. I don't care what caused this. But if any one of you does this again, you'll be kicked off the team, and out of this school faster than a hyena can write a nursery rhyme!"

 

"... Was that supposed to make sense." Sebastian asked once the woman walked out. "Come on, Karofsky. Someone needs to check you over."

 

"I'm fine." Dave grunted, grabbing his jacket. "I'm out of here."

 

* * *

  

"You did what?!" Kurt yelled.

 

"Dude, he hits you, and he pushed Mike into Artie's chair."

 

"Intentionally?"

 

"I... I don't know but..." 

 

Kurt threw his hands up and stalked to the other side of the choir room. Sam awkwardly stood still, waiting for Kurt to come to his own internal end to the arguement. 

 

"Okay. So. On one hand, it was very manly, romantic, and sweet that you'd get into a fight for me. And get some ice on that eye soon." Kurt sighed, shaking his head. "But you don't have all the facts and you may have just caused irreperable harm to Karofsky."

 

"What are the facts kurt because I'm super confused." Sam  crossed his arms. "Come on, tell me what's going on that means that Karofsky is going to be completely okay with me?"

 

"I'm gay." 

 

The answer came from the doorway, and Kurt turned to find Karofsky leant against the door, his eyes shut and his face pale. "Dave..."

 

"No. I need to get used to saying it. If my mom can't change me, you can bet to hell she's going to run me into the ground over it. So... I'm gay."

 

"Oh." Sam blinked, looking at Kurt. "So... Miss Pillsbury..."

 

"Was helping with a problem to do with that. If people had thought to ask me before hand? I would have told you not to do anything." Kurt muttered. "How're you doing?"

 

"Bruised shin." Dave grunted. "Your boyfriend is a kicker."

 

"No, I was." Kurt laughed shortly. 

 

"He knows about us?"

 

"Finn has no ability to read a situation." Kurt rolled his eyes. "He saw me and Puck and Sebastian and Dave talking in my bedroom, and assumed I'd told everyone there about you, because we were all LGBTQ."

 

"I... I was supposed to come tell you... Our Parents are here." 

 

"You mean our dads?" Kurt asked, frowning.

 

"No... My mom too. And I think Finn's mom."

 

"Oh, joy." Kurt sighed. "Sam? Go get yourself an icepack. I have to deal with this."

 

* * *

 

 "My son is not a faggot!"

 

Kurt winced as he walked through the door, catching sight of Principle Sue and Emma sat behing the desk, and the parents on either side of the room.

 

"Do not use that word!" Burt thundered, but Dave's mom kept going.

 

"Just because your child is un-natural...."

 

"There is nothing un-natural about..."

 

"Everyone Stop!" Kurt yelled, projecting his voice as hard as he could. Everyone stopped, and turned to look at the door. "We are here. But, if I hear the word Faggot used again? We won't be."

 

"Dave, I was so worried about you." His mom stood up and moved towards him, but Kurt stepped in the way. 

 

"No. You don't touch him." Kurt hissed. "Not after the filth I heard coming from your mouth, and what Dave has said about you."

 

"I wasn't talking to you." She snapped back, sneering. 

 

"Why? Because I'm gay?" Kurt barked out a laugh. "Yes, I'm gay. I'm a gay man. Any theoretical god hasn't struck me down yet though."

 

Dave's mother looked over Kurt, and directly at David. "Dave, just come with me. We can make you better."

 

"There's nothing wrong with our son!" Dave's dad snapped. "And if you think I'm going to let you take him for any of this aversion therapy crap..." 

 

"I'm his mother, I only want what's best for him." 

 

Kurt turned to Dave. "We don't have to stay for this."

 

"We do." Dave said quietly. "I need..."

 

"Dave, don't talk to the Faggot."

 

Kurt snapped back round. "I warned you, you poorly dressed tub of lard. If you..."

 

The slap came out of nowhere, and Kurt held his face as he turned to look at the woman again, from where his head had been forced to turn. 

 

"You slapped me"

 

Burt stood up, his arms quivering. "I have never hit a woman before..."

 

He didn't have to, as Carole stood up, and swung a fist at the woman knocking her to the ground. "Never hit my son again."

 

This was enough for Sue, and she stood up. "That is enough! Mrs. Karofsky. You assaulted a student. You are to leave school grounds immediately, before I'm forced to call the police."

 

"I'll bring them up on kidnapping charges! Taking my son!" Mrs. Karofsky screached. 

 

"No, you won't." Dave's Dad stood up. "Dave. You have my consent to do whatever you want to do. Just... Let me know you're safe. Okay? And when it's all over, we're going to sit down and have a steak and talk about this man to man okay?"

 

"Yeah Dad." Dave whispered. 

 

"I'm proud of you." Dave's dad continued, smiling at the boy warmly, before dragging his wife out.

 

Principle Sue looked at the room for a while before collapsing into her chair. "Well... That was entertaining."

 

 

* * *

 

"Can we shut the door." Finn asked, looking over at it. "I'm not comfortable with people watching." 

 

"What're you talking about?" Kurt rolled his eyes. "You danced in front of a thousand people at regionals."

 

"I'll shut it." Karofsky grunted moving to the door.

 

"You, are not running away anywhere." Kurt pointed. "If you're living with us? You're coming to the wedding. If you're coming to the wedding? You will be dancing."

 

"With a dude?" Karofsky asked, flinching."

 

"Not if you don't want to. Mercedes loves to dance. Or Tina." Kurt shrugged, gesturing to close the door. "Leave Mike alone to Sebastian's tender mistrations." 

 

Dave closed the door, and moved back to his seat awkwardly, watching Kurt lead Finn through some dance steps. Sam slid in a few minutes later, closing the door behind him. "Hey, Karofsky."

 

"Gonna hit me again?" Dave didn't bother returning the greeting, just crossed his arms.

 

"No, dude. I totally understand now. And... I'm sorry." Sam shrugged, "Can't really fix it."

 

"What're you doing here?" Finn asked, finally able to take his attention off his feet and look over at Sam.

 

"I was hoping Kurt could teach me to dance. You know, for the wedding?"

 

"Oh?" Burt stopped, looking Sam over. "Why?"

 

"Just... Don't want to make an idiot out of myself."

 

"Really." Burt rolled his eyes in a very Kurt-like fashion. "Because I assumed it was because you're dating him and want to dance at the wedding." 

 

Kurt gaped, missing his step back, and then letting out a yelp when Finn kicked him in the leg. "OW!"

 

"Uh.... Kurt?"

 

"One.... Ouch, one minute." Kurt rubbed his leg, hopping for a second. "Right. Is there any point me denying it?" He asked his dad.

 

"Nope."

 

"Okay. Dad, Sam Evans. Sam, Burt Hummel." Kurt gestured between them. "Sam is my boyfriend. But by my decision our relationship is secret."

 

"Right." Burt nodded. "No more hanging out in your bedroom alone. Not for... a month." 

 

"But..."

 

"That's what happens when you sneak a boyfriend in." Burt smirked. "Now, show me again, and then David over there, and your boyfriend can learn last."

 

Kurt looked over at Sam and sighed. "Fine."

 

* * *

 

"And, It is my great pleasure, to introduce you all, to the new member of New Directions." Kurt said moving to the door and gesturing in David.

 

".... I am so lost." Mike admitted quietly. "Do we hate him?"

 

"We let the guy in who admitted to being a spy." Santana pointed out. "So.... Our level of caring must be pretty low."

 

"At least we know if Rachel and Finn both storm out we have enough members to compete." Puck smirked. 

 

"Okay, I'm going to try this again." Kurt coughed loudly. "Introducing, the newest member of New Directions. Pause for greetings, and general merriment."

 

"Whoo!" Sam jumped to his feet, throwing his fist in the air.

 

"Wow. I'm so surpised no one has snatched you up yet." Quinn deadpanned. "Okay. Welcome to the group, Karofsky."

 

"Can you all call me David?" He asked. "Karofsky... Isn't who I want to be."

 

"Awesome. Man candy is increasing." Sebastian smirked, "I saw this really cute guy on the basketball team. Can we get him next."

 

"Make yourself comfortable." Kurt sighed, gesturing to the seats. "And I would like to return Finn's favour of singing to me at the wedding."

 

"Two songs in a week." Mercedes grinned, "You turning into Rachel."

 

"Not with a song." Kurt rolled his eyes. "I have something I want to say."

 

"Oh, god, just get to it." Santana rolled his eyes.

 

"Fine." Kurt rolled his eyes. "I just wanted to say that... You have grown so much from when I first met you. I mean, not your ability to understand what going on in any given situation. But you as a person. I never thought a guy like you would accept me. And when you did... I took it too far. But I'm proud to call you my friend. And after Rachel and Puck...." Kurt paused and gave Finn a meaningful look, noticing how Finn's eyes flicked towards Sam. "You are my best friend. And my brother."

 

"You too man." Finn grinned, getting up and hugging Kurt. "Now we just need to get you a hot boyfriend." 

 

"I'm working on it." Kurt laughed softly, flicking his eyes over to Sam, who grinned back. 

 


	14. Special Education

 

** Special Education **

 

"Mr Shuester, I have an announcement to make..." Rachel said, standing up and gently patting Finn's shoulder

 

"Oh god, here we go." Kurt groaned, resting his head on Puck's shoulder. "Hold me back, boys."

 

"Is he joking?" Dave asked from his other side.

 

"No, it's going to get heated." Sam chuckled, resting a hand on Kurt's shoulder. "You get used to it."

 

"Everyone!" Mr. Shuester clapped his hands together. "Me first. Two things, first, both of our competitions are the standard stool choirs. Great voices, but they don't move."

 

"Um, yes." Sebastian held up a hand. "The Warblers do. They dance a lot, in complete synchronicity. I mean... Just putting out there."

 

"Well... The hipsters don't." Mr Shuester said, crossing his arms. "As such, to get a leg up on them, we're going to include Mike and Brittany's sweet moves as a feature in our performance."

 

"Wait, they're going to dance in front of me whilst I sing my solo." Rachel asked, crossing her arms. 

 

"You're not getting a solo, Rachel." Mr Shuester said dismissively

 

"Finally!" Mercedes grinned, offering a hand for Sunshine to slap. "What song am I going to sing?"

 

"I was thinking that some combination of the winners of our duet competition would take the leads." 

 

"Three boys and Santana?" Rachel snorted. "Wow, it's like her favourite fantasy."

 

"Fall of a high place, Hobbit." Santana sneered. "I actually think Kurt and Sam should sing something together."

 

"Yeah, I'm down with that." Finn nodded, looking speculatively at the girl, and then Kurt, who shook his head slowly. 

 

"Awesome, so Kurt and Sam take the leads in the duet." Mr Shuester said, grinning.

 

"Whilst I am a proud support of equal rights, and having two gay fathers myself...."

 

"It would be very awkward if only one of them was gay." Sebastian muttered, making Tina snort with laughter.

 

"... Don't you think we should ask Sam if he's comfortable singing a duet with Kurt, before hand?" Rachel said, sighing softly. "If he isn't.... I could take his place, for the good of the team."

 

"Or, I could." Sebastian held up a hand. "You know, Two gay guys?"

 

"Or, I could." Finn shrugged, "And, way to throw me under the bus, Rachel." 

 

"I'm just so glad we all get to witness these little cute couply moments." Santana sighed, "It really reminds me why I screw and run."

 

"Enough!" Mr Shuester said. "No more talking about this. Or anything! This is the plan, and we are going with it." 

 

There was an awkward moment, where everyone one looked at each other, before Sunshine raised her hand. "Mr Shuester? You haven't told us what songs we're singing, or who's singing what other than the duet. This is barely a plan."

 

"I have an idea." Sebastian hummed, crossing his arms. 

 

"The spy has an idea, everyone get ready to turn it down." Kurt muttered.

 

"Please." Sebastian rolled his eyes. "If you look at who the judges are, you'll see that they're all liberal christians, which is why you're willing to let Kurt sing with a boy in front of them.." 

 

Mr Shuester nodded shortly, verifying the information. "So?"

 

"Well, I know for a fact that one of them has a gay son who recently eloped. Because it was with my cousin." Sebastian rolled his eyes. "So, I suggest we play the religeous card."

 

"We tend to stear clear of that, whenever we can." Finn pointed out. "It gets dicey."

 

"We have Mercedes sing God don't make no trash from Bare the Pop Opera, offering a positive view of Christianity. Kurt and Sam sing Old Fashioned Wedding from Annie get your gun, with there.... Remarkable chemistry, showing an equal side to both traditionalism and modernism, And we finish it off with a rousing performance of Finale B from Rent, a classic song that sings about living in the moment." 

 

There was stunned silence in the room. Rachel awkwardly leaned over Finn, Kurt doing the same to Dave. "Tell me this is a bad idea."

 

"It's.... A really good idea. It has cohesion, a clear theme, it'll compliment all the voices beautifully. We can do a hell of a lot of choreography with all the songs...." Kurt stared at Sebastian.  "Why couldn't I have thought of it." 

 

"Myself and Kurt agree." Rachel sighed. "It's a very good plan." 

 

"We can sing all those songs beautifully, and choreography will be amazing."

 

Mr Shuester nodded slowly. "I will be checking that none of the songs will be offensive to the judges." 

 

"I wouldn't have it any other way." Sebastian sighed. "I want to sing the first over lapping part of Finale B with Santana."

 

"Fine." Rachel ground out. "But myself and Kurt take the opening." 

 

"Sam, Puck and Dave should sing the male choral part." Sunshine hummed. "And Myself, Quinn and Tina should take the female choral parts. That leaves most of the best dancers to dance during that sections. Then we can all join in for the No day but today bit, and I die without you."

 

"This is great, guys!" Mr. Shuester clapped, "A real sense of community. Everyone's talents being explored."

 

* * *

 

 

"I can't sing!" Dave hissed as Kurt walked him to his lesson.

 

"Sure you can." Kurt rolled his eyes. "I heard your audition."

 

"Not on stage. I mean, what if they all laugh at me?"

 

"They won't laugh." Kurt promised, slowing to a halt. "Think of it.... Think of it like a football game, okay? You're part of the.... line thing, that stop people getting through. Now, sure, you might fall, but you've got all those other guys there to stop the people right?"

 

"Okay, it is really clear how little you know about football." Dave snorted. "You'd have thought Evans would have clued you up by now."

 

"He tried. I started talking about Hermes scarfs, he dropped it." Kurt grinned, pausing as Dave gestured to a class room. "This... Isn't my class."

 

"You're skipping. Go inside." Dave grinned.

 

Kurt looked Dave over once, before stepping inside. It was full of candles, and Finn and Sebastian were sat on desks awkwardly kicking each others feet. "Okay, this is weird."

 

"I was going for romantic." Sam's voice came from behind the door, and he gently closed it. "I just wanted to...."

 

"Sorry I'm late." Puck said, as he stormed through the door. "Arguement with Sunshine."

 

"Are you two dating properly yet?" Finn asked, smirking. 

 

"Dude, not now." Sam hissed. "So... Uh, yeah. Last week, with the wedding? I checked your wedding book... this is as close as I could get to any of your scenarios."

 

"City of a thousand lights?" Kurt guessed, grinning.

 

"Or, Classroom of 43 candles." Dave smirked.  

 

"Guys, you're ruining it." Sam whined, making the boys snicker. "Anyway. I wanted to.... well...." 

 

Kurt gasped as Sam dropped to his knee in the centre of the classroom. "Sam..."

 

"We can't get married, and stuff. And it'd be way too early for that anyway, but.... This is a commitment ring. It symbolises my dedication to you. To being the best boyfriend I can be. To being there to kiss you when you want, and rub your feet when you're tired, and to model your clothes when you ask, and to have dinner with your dad even though he terrifies me. To giving you all you deserve, no matter how long it takes."

 

Kurt stared at Sam for a long moment, before he reached out gently and took the ring. "You know what would happen if I wore this, right?"

 

"We'd have to start coming out." Sam smiled, "And I'm totally on board with that." 

 

"..." Kurt watched him for a long second, before he slid the ring on. "Guess Kurt Hummel is now an honest man." 

 

"I wanted us to dance." Sam said quickly, standing up. "We don't have long, but..."

 

"I'd be honoured." Kurt whispered taking Sam's hand, as Puck and Finn did the same, and finally Sebastian and Dave. Waltzing around the small classroom laughing and grinning. 

 

* * *

 

 

"Kurt.... You know you're not supposed to wear a ring there until you're engaged, right?" Mercedes asked, the first one to pick up on the ring.

 

"Oh? This little thing." Kurt hummed. "That would be because ... I have a boyfriend!" The second part came out as a yell, and around the table there were three thumps as Sam, Finn and Dave all dropped there heads to the table.

 

"We said low key, right?" Sam whispered to Finn, who smirked. 

 

"I think this is low key." 

 

"Of course it's low key. I didn't hire the plane with the banner after all." Kurt shot back. "So, yes. I've been made an honest man, girls." 

 

Mercedes gave a soft whistle. "Who is it? Dave?"

 

"No." Dave grunted glancing around. "And we don't mention that outside the choir room."

 

"Well it isn't Finn." Tina hummed, before she finally put two and two together. "Oh, my god." 

 

"Yep." Sam grinned, glancing at the table before he climbed out of his seat. Everyone was already staring at them anyway, so he offered Kurt his hand and lead him to his feet. "The Quarterback..."

 

"One of the Quarterbacks." Finn muttered under his breath. 

 

"The Quarterback is dating the Head Cheerleader." Sam grinned, leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to Kurt's lips. Kurt grinned, and then kissed him back gently. 

 

"Okay guys, break it up." Tina said, making a time out sign. "I'm sure there's closets you can do that in." 

 

"I think she's jealous of my hot boyfriend." Sam grinned, resting his forehead on Kurts. "Mike probably is too."

 

"Oh god, you were dating when you heard that, weren't you." Tina whined, hiding her face in Mike's shoulder.

 

"Yep." Sam grinned, returning to his seat. "Don't worry. We'll think about it."

 

"Ew." Finn muttered. "When did I become the only straight guy."

 

"Artie." Tina pointed out. 

 

"And I'm not gay. Or Bi. Just... If it has to be two guys and tina? I want some of the fun too." Mike shrugged. 

 

"Okay, we're a disfunctional family." Kurt grumbled. "Let's see how long it takes before I get slushied."

 

They just about got out of the room.

 

* * *

 

 

"Nervous?" Sam asked Kurt in the wings, wrapping an arm around his waist. It was sectionals, and Kurt had been on edge all day

 

"You're on the wrong side of the stage!"

 

"I can get through. I just wanted to tell you that... I love you."  Sam said quietly. "And that you're going to be great."

 

"Tell me something I don't know." Kurt flicked his head as if his hair would follow. "And.... I love you too. In fact.... Tonight.... I want to go some of the way with you."

 

"I didn't realise all it took was jewellry." Sam grinnned, but quickly turned serious. "If that's what you want."

 

"It is."

 

"Then it's going to be amazing. I know Puck and Sunshine got a room, and Rachel and Finn. So.... The co-captains room will be free right?"

 

"You're a devious young man." 

 

"When the mood strikes me." Sam whispered. "I better go Mercedes is starting. See you on the otherside." 

 

**_(Mercedes)_ **

_When god sits on his mighty throne and says what shall I make today?_

_He don't grab a drawing board, ain't no mistakes, the man don't play._

_He simply opens up his heart, Out come a-tumbling works of art._

_God don't make no trash_

_God don't make the same you see, or everyone would look like me_

_People need to stop and think. It ain't a rainbow without the pink._

_Ignorant playing judge and jury_

_They're the ones who're gonna know gods fury_

_Cause God don't make no trash_

_Well you better believe it, that god is on your side._

_He'll be your strength, your rock, your truth._

_Your ever lasting guy._

_Well you better believe it, some folks will act a fool!_

_So caught up with hate that they forget the golden rule._

_Well you better believe it, you're who you need to be!_

_Cause love is love, love is true, love is god, and love will set you free!_

_People point a finger, you feel free to point it back._

_Two folks wanna fall in love with no-one hurt_

_What's wrong with that?_

_God is love, all the time_

_Spread your heart and I'll think you'll find, that God don't make no trash_

_And If you're wondering why_

_I'm a saying._

_It's because there's a black woman at the soul of every gay man._

_God don't make no_

_God don't make no_

_God don't make no Trash!_

_***_

**_(Sam)_ **

_I love you, Kurt._

**_(Kurt)_ **

_I love you back_

**_(Sam)_ **

_Didn't like living without you_

**_(Kurt)_ **

_keep talking_

**_(Sam)_ **

_You're the only boy in the whole world_

**_(Kurt)_ **

_keep talking_

**_(Sam)_ **

_I wanna marry you_

**_(Kurt)_ **

_You can stop right there._

**_(Sam)_ **

_We'll have an old fashioned wedding_

_Blessed in the good old fashioned way_

_I'll vow to love you forever_

_You'll vow to love and honour and obey_

_Somewhere in some little chapel._

_Somewhere where orange blossoms bloom_

_We'll have an old fashioned wedding._

_A simple wedding for an old fashioned bride and groom._

**_(Kurt)_ **

_I wanna wedding in a big church, with bridesmaids and flower girls!_

_A lot of ushers and tailcoats, reporters and photographers!_

_A ceremony with a bishop who will tie the knot and say_

_"Do you agree to love and honour?" Love and honour yes, but not obey!_

_I want a wedding that's surrounded by diamonds and platinum_

_a big reception at the waldorf, with champagne and caviar._

_I want a wedding like the Van Dervilles have, Everything big, not small._

_And if I can't have that kind of a wedding? Then I don't want a wedding at all_

**_(Sam/Kurt)_ **

_We'll have an old fashioned wedding  / I wanna wedding in a big church, with bridesmaids and flower girls!_

_Blessed in the good old fashioned way  / A lot of ushers and tailcoats, reporters and photographers!_

_I'll vow to love you forever  / A ceremony with a bishop who will tie the knot and say_

_You'll vow to love and honour and obey  / "Do you agree to love and honour?" Love and honour yes, but not obey!_

_Somewhere in some little chapel.  /  I want a wedding that's surrounded by diamonds and platinum_

_Somewhere where orange blossoms bloom  /  a big reception at the waldorf, with champagne and caviar._

_We'll have an old fashioned wedding.  /  I want a wedding like the Van Dervilles have, Everything big, not small._

_A simple wedding for an old fashioned bride and groom. /  If it's not a big wedding? Then I don't want a wedding at all_

_We'll have an old fashioned wedding /  If it's not a big wedding? Then I don't want a wedding at all_

_***_

**_(Kurt)_ **

_There is no future._

_There is no past_

**_(Rachel)_ **

_Thank god this moments_

_not the last_

**_(Sebastian and Santana)_ **

_There's only us_

_There's only this_

_Forget regret_

_or Life is yours to miss._

_No other road_

_No other way_

_No day but today_

**_(Dave, Puck and Sam / Tina, Sunshine and Quinn)_ **

_Will I lose my dinity?  /  I can't control_

_Will someone care?  /  My destiny_

_Will I wake tomorrow  / I trust my soul_

_From this nightmare? / My only goal_

_There's only now / Is just to be without you_

_There's only here /The hand gropes_

_Give in to love / The ear hears_

_or live in fear / the pulse beats._

_no other path / Life goes on_

_no other way/ But I'm gone_

_no day but today / Cause I die without you_

_No day but today / I die without you._

_No day but today / I die without you_

_No day but today / I die without you_

_No day but today / I die without you_

_No day but today / I die without you_

**_(Everyone)_ **

_No day but today!_

 

* * *

 

 

"So... Uh.... I think we should be official." Puck muttered, as he slumped back on the bed. "If you want to, I mean."

 

Sunshine rolled onto her side and stared at him for a moment. "You understand that means you couldn't sleep around, right?"

 

"I know." Puck muttered. "But I kinda... like you. I mean, for a chick you're pretty cool." 

 

"Wow, that's such a compliment." Sunshine sighed, and pressed a soft kiss to Puck's cheek. "Yes. Of course we can be official." 

 

"You're sure?" Puck asked, frowning. "I mean, I'm not exactly gonna suddenly become a good person."

 

"You already are a good person. And all we would be doing is letting people know that we're a little more than friends who have awesome sex." Sunshine laughed gently. "Neither of us have to change."

 

"Awesome." Puck grinned, pressing a light kiss to her forehead. "So... Want to go again?"

 

* * *

 

 

"I... Rachel, stop." Finn said, pushing Rachel away a little. "I'm sorry, I can't do this."

 

"Did you... It's fine if you did." Rachel said quickly, gesturing.

 

"No. No, I... I need to tell you something. And you're going to be really upset." Finn whispered, sitting up. 

 

"What?" 

 

"I had sex with Santana." Finn said simply. "When... During Madonna week. And I didn't tell you because we were happy together again and..."

 

"I know." Rachel said quietly. "I... I kind of assumed, and then Kurt warned me that Santana was bragging about it to the Cheerioes." 

 

"Oh." Finn said quietly.

 

"Do you love me?" Rachel asked quietly.

 

"Yeah! Totally!" Finn said quickly.

 

"Good. Okay. So, we're good." Rachel said quietly. "You had sex with Santana, I kissed Puck, which was really weird, and kinda gross."

 

"I always thought kissing him would be gross." Finn grinned.

 

"You've been thinking about kissing Puck?"

 

"Hey, apparently everyone but me already has." Finn snorted, wrapping an arm around Rachel. "Why don't we watch some TV for while." 

 

* * *

 

 

"I... Do not have words." Kurt sighed, resting his head on Sam's chest. "I am speechless."

 

"Kurt, I love you, but can we please just bask for like ten minutes?" Sam hummed, patting Kurt's back.

 

"Yes. Basking. Is the thing I am doing." 

 

"Basking generally has less talking." 

 

Kurt sighed, lifting his head. "Nope. I can't bask. You've awoken a primal urge in me that has to be sated."

 

"I made a horrible mistake." Sam shot back in a deadpan voice, before he frowned. "It was.... Okay, right?"

 

"Yes! Totally." Kurt assured. "It was amazing. You were right. You are good at that." 

 

"I try." Sam grinned. "So... We're good?"

 

"We're good." Kurt grinned, pressing a soft kiss to Sam's chest. "We're more than good."

 

"Good." Sam said softly.


	15. The Sue Sylvester Shuffle

 

** The Sue Sylvester Shuffle **

Dave sighed, as he was surrounded by Jocks. It had been two weeks since Sectionals, and he had kind of thought he had managed to escape the bullying. "What's going on guys?" He asked, closing his locker. 

 

"We heard you joined Homo-Explosion." Azimo sneered, "We gave you a couple of weeks to work out what you were doing wrong...

 

"Now, we're going to beat you into working it out." Strando cracked his knuckles stepping forward. 

 

Dave was about to start swinging when Sam stepped in front of him, appearing from almost nowhere. "You're not hitting Dave."

 

"What, Hummel not enough for you, Evans? Dave your bit on the side?" Azimo snorted. "Don't worry fairy, we'll work our way around to you."

 

"Lay off Sam and Dave." Puck growled, sliding into a defensive posture in front of Dave. Finn joined him, and Dave was vaguely aware of Mike and Sebastian flanking him.

 

"Oh, I got it. We offended the baby fag, so now the daddy fags are pissed." Strando sneered.

 

"Oh, Strando." Finn sighed, rolling his shoulder. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this." 

 

His fist swung out, smashing Strando back into the group. Sam and Puck tackled the next couple, and when one of them finally got past those three, Mike locker slammed the guy before he could lay a hand on Dave.

 

"Fucking Fag!"

 

Dave winced, expecting to see Azimo bearing down on him. But, when he turned to the source of the noise, he found his ex-best-friend holding Sebastian off the ground against a locker by his throat. He was moving before he'd thought it through, slamming his whole body against Azimo, knocking him away from Sebastian and making him skid across the floor.

 

"You okay?" Dave asked, kneeling next to Sebastian.

 

Sebastian nodded sharply, as he took a few deep breathes. When he was calm again, he spared David a smirk, and a once over. "I'm starting to see your appeal, David." 

 

Dave felt himself blush, as he awkwardy returned the grin. 

 

The two groups parted again, just as Coach Bieste slammed into the room.

 

"What the hell is going on in here!"

 

"Those homos started beating on us, because we tried to talk to Karofsky." Strando muttered, wiping a trickle of blood from his nose.

 

"They were about to beat the shit out of him for being in Glee Club." Finn snapped back.

 

"He'd deserve it! Who gets a hard on for singing show tunes and Kesha songs!" Strando yelled back. 

 

"Maybe you'll understand better if i go all Tick-Tock on your face." Puck snarled, lunging foward and being caught by Sam and Finn. 

 

"ALRIGHT!" Coach Bieste blew her whistle, "I've had it! Everyone get the hell out of here!"

 

"I'm not showering with that fag in the room." Azimo sneered pointing at Sam. "He's probably going to be trying to sneak a peak!"

 

"No, that would be me." Sebastian raised a hand with a small smirk. "Case in point? I'm not actually on the football team. I'm just helping Coach Bieste out." 

 

There was an awkward pause as the jock's took that in, and Sebastian crossed his arms and stared them all down until the shuffled off to finish getting changed. Sam was the first to break, snorting and patting Sebastian's back. "You trying to get murdered?"

 

"I can take care of myself. And I have my shining knight in shoulder guards." Sebastian grinned at Dave over his shoulder. "I'll see you all in Glee Club."

 

* * *

 

 

Kurt was the first on his feet when Artie wheeled himself into the room, his eyes wide. He dimly heard someone say Artie's name, but he was already swinging his bag onto his shoulder, as the other Jock's stood up. 

 

"That's it. Screw rehearsal, this ends here and now!" Finn yelled, two steps behind Kurt who was already running through the checklist of things his dad and Rachel's dads had taught him.

 

"We're gonna go all Thunderdome on those guys." Puck added, making Kurt roll his eyes, and look over his shoulder at the boy who looked like he was already regretting the weak geek reference.

 

"So this is what the ladies lounge looks like on the inside."

 

Kurt stopped quickly as the Jock's walked in. Sam took another step putting a hand on his shoulder. 

 

"This is the choir room, so put up your fists cause you and I are going to do some dancing." Sam growled, his grip almost painful on Kurt's shoulder.

 

"I always thought that was our thing." Kurt smirked over his shoulder at Sam before he turned back to the Jocks. "Can I help you find something? An open ravine to walk into for example." 

 

"Shut up, Fag." Strando sneered, giving Kurt a shove and sending him sprawling backwards. Sam caught him, and Finn stepped forward. "Coach Bieste told us to meet her here."

 

"Sit. Down." Coach Bieste snapped as she walked through the Jocks. 

 

"You guys too." Mr Shuester gestured to the Jocks and Kurt, who slowly made there way back to their seats on the other side of the choir room. "New Directions, meet the newest members of the Glee Club."

 

"No," Kurt said simply. "No way, no how."

 

The rest of the group were in very vocal agreement. Finn was the one who got it most right however as he stood up, cutting the rest of. "Are you serious, Mr. Shuester? This room is supposed to be a safe place."

 

"How can it be that when there are homophobes amongst us!" Rachel yelped, gesturing at the football team.

 

"I agree. This should be a safe space." Mr Shuester shrugged, "But I talked with Coach Bieste, and we both agreed that the kind of bullying these guys do is out of ignorance. Having them in here, is an opportunity to show them all that being in Glee Club is kind of cool. Find some common ground between the two groups." 

 

"All of you will be in this Glee club for one week, no exceptions." Coach Bieste cut in, gesturing at the football players.

 

"You're bluffing!" Azimo snorted. "Next weeks the big game. Without us, you ain't got no team." 

 

"With you idiots I have no team!" Coach Bieste yelled. "You're gonna find a way to work together, or that team is going to kick our asses from here until tuesday finds a saddleback full of buck wheat."

 

There was an awkward silence, and Kurt rolled his eyes dramatically. Coach Bieste was a very interesting woman. But her sayings? Were gibberish.

 

"If I'm staying I ain't singing no show tunes." Azimo sneered in Kurt's general direction. "That is the music of my opressors."

 

"Yes. Look at how very opressed you are." Kurt grumbled.

 

"Do you have any idea what we do in here?" Finn asked, looking at the Football team like they were insane.

 

Mr Shue shook his head. "No. None of them do. Which is why we have to show them. Rachel you..."

 

"If I may, Mr. Shuester?" Kurt held up a hand. "I've been working on a number with a few of the other members that might illustrate our point much better." 

 

_**(Kurt)** _

_My first kiss went a little like this._

_And twist. And twist_

 

Santana caught up the thread easily, sliding out of her seat, and wrapping an arm around Kurt's waist and grinning. 

_**(Santana)** _

_Well, My First Kiss went a little like this._

_And Twist. And Twist_

Kurt crooked his finger, beckoning Sam down the seating, and towards him.

 

_**(Kurt)** _

_I said no more teachers, and no more books_

_I got a kiss under the bleachers hoping that nobody looks._

Puck and Sunshine were the next up, Puck leading her down onto the floor whilst she blushed.

 

_**(Puck)** _

_Lips like licorice, Tongue like candy._

_Excuse me miss but can I get you out your panties._

 Finn grinned and grabbed Rachel's hand, watching her laugh as he span her around.

 

_**(Finn)** _

_In the back of the car, on the way to the bar_

_I got you on my lips._

**_(Sam & Kurt)_ **

_At the foot of the stairs, with my finger in your hair_

_baby this is it._

**_(Everyone)_ **

_She won't ever get enough,_

_once she gets a little touch_

_If I had it my way,_

_you know that I'd make her say_

_Oooh-ohhh-ohhh-ohhh._

_She won't ever get enough,_

_once she gets a little touch_

_If I had it my way,_

_you know that I'd make her say_

_Oooh-ohhh-ohhh-ohhh._

Sebastian grinned and climbed to his feet as he slid into a provocative little dance with Santana.

 

**_(Santana)_ **

_Well my first kiss went a little like this._

**_(Sebastian)_ **

_I said no more sailors_

_and no more soldiers._

_With your name in a heart,_

_tattooed up on their shoulder_

**_(Sam)_ **

_Kisses like whisky,_

_it gets me drunk._

_And I wake up in the morning with a taste of your tongue._

**_(Finn)_ **

_In the back of the car, on the way to the bar_

_I got you on my lips._

**_(Sam & Kurt)_ **

_At the foot of the stairs, with my finger in your hair_

_baby this is it._

**_(Everyone)_ **

_She won't ever get enough,_

_once she gets a little touch_

_If I had it my way,_

_you know that I'd make her say_

_Oooh-ohhh-ohhh-ohhh._

_She won't ever get enough,_

_once she gets a little touch_

_If I had it my way,_

_you know that I'd make her say_

_Oooh-ohhh-ohhh-ohhh._

**_(Kurt, Mike, Sebastian, Finn and Puck.)_ **

_My first kiss went a little like this._

_And Twist._

_And Twist_

**_(Sam, Tina, Santana, Rachel and Sunshine)_ **

_Well My first kiss went a little like this._

_And Twist._

_And Twist._

**_(Sebastian)_ **

_She won't ever get enough_

**_(Puck)_ **

_Once she get's a little touch._

**_(Finn)_ **

_If I had it my way, you know that I'd make her say._

**_(Kurt)_ **

_Ooooh-oooh-ooh-oooooh_

**_(Everyone)_ **

_She won't ever get enough,_

_once she gets a little touch_

_If I had it my way,_

_you know that I'd make her say_

_Oooh-ohhh-ohhh-ohhh._

_She won't ever get enough,_

_once she gets a little touch_

_If I had it my way,_

_you know that I'd make her say_

_Oooh-ohhh-ohhh-ohhh._

When they finished, everyone was having fun and laughing, and Kurt leant forward and pressed a soft kiss to Sam's lips. Coach Bieste and Mr. Shuester had stepped out into the hallway to talk more about their plan, and Kurt was going to take advantage of the moment of no adult supervision to mack on his boyfriend.

 

"Disgusting." 

 

Kurt pulled back quickly, eyes hard. Sam stepped forward, but Kurt held up a hand and gestured for the linebacker to stand up. "I'm disgusting am I?"

 

"You heard me."

 

"Were you here for last year?" Kurt asked quietly, stepping a little closer. "When I was on the football team?"

 

"No." The jock sneered, standing in a way that Kurt assumed was supposed to be threatening. Instead, it was the perfect position, with his legs shoulder width apart and his arms crossed.

 

"I was the kicker, just like you. Do you want to know how a gay guy got to be the kicker of the football team?"

 

The guy looked confused, and turned to glance at Azimo. It was the wrong move, as at that moment, Kurt's knee came slamming up into the boys groin. 

 

"It's because I have great legs." Kurt sneered as the boy collapsed into a heep. "Think about that the next time you have something to say about me." 

 

The room suddenly exploded into action, and Kurt was yanked out of the fray by Quinn and Brittany before the Jock's could lay there hands on him.  By the time the fight had finished, and the teachers had returned, it was impossible to tell who had started it and who had done what.

 

* * *

 

 

"I'm not even joking, Sam." Kurt laughed, resting his head on Sam's shoulder as they walked between classes. "It's an honest to god, Cannon." 

 

"Is she planning on invading somewhere?" Sam grinned, "Or has she moved past subtly destroying us, and noiw she's just going to blast out the choir room whilst we practice."

 

"She seems to think it's the next stage in cheerleading." Kurt rolled his eyes. "Luckily, I'm not a part of it. She says that my voice would be ruined by the doppler effect as I launched past the audience."

 

"Good to know." Sam grinned. "I like my boyfriend in one piece."

 

"I like mine in one piece too." Kurt whispered, "Preferably in my room. Tonight... Nine?"

 

"Sound like a..."

 

"Hummel!" Coach Sylvester yelled making Kurt paused in mid step. "Step away from the Quarterback!"

 

"I better go see what she wants." Kurt sighed, "Remember. Tonight." 

 

Sam grinned, and squeezed Kurt's hand and walked away. 

 

"Coach Sylvester, how can I help you?"

 

"I am about to enact plan Alpha-Theta." Sue said crossing here arms.

 

"I have no idea what that means."

 

"Of course you don't. It's a state secret." Sue rolled her eyes like it was obviously. "Now, I'm about to go an assault Will Shuester and Coach Bieste in the locker room, whilst they have their little gal-chat. The outcome will be, that I am pulling the Cheerleaders from the championship game. Now, as you've noticed, your participation in the team at the moment is negligable. I'm keeping you in reserve for Nationals after all. So, when I demand Quinn, Brittany and Santana quit the Glee Club, I want you to stay."

 

"You understand that I would anyway, don't you?"

 

"That is neither here nor there."

 

"Right. So, you're warning me in advance.

 

"Yes I am." Coach Sylvester hummed, before turning away. "Also Article 17, Section 34, Paragraph Two of the rules for High School Football will be very interesting to you, when Will Shuester's latest scheme falls apart."

 

* * *

 

 

"You're a really good dancer." Sebastian's voice hummed from behind Dave making him jump. "When you stop being so self conscious."

 

"And the fact you appear from nowhere is making me completely un self-conscious." Dave grunted turning to Sebastian. "What do you want?"

 

"Just to say thank you for saving me from having to wear a scarf for a few weeks." Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Why?"

 

"I'm just..." Dave looked around, making sure that everyone else had left the choir room. "This is exactly what I didn't want, you know? All the attention on me."

 

"You feel like the attention is on you?" Sebastian grinned. "Please, everyone's looking at me, Davey."

 

"Because you admitted to sneaking into the locker room to check out the guys." 

 

Sebastian shrugged, crossing his arms. "If it makes you feel better, you're more attractive naked than I thought you would be."

 

"I.... Thank you?" Dave blinked, blushing and looking away.

 

"Look, this is going to blow up soon enough, and then we'll all fall over ourselves trying to fix it before the big game." Sebastian laughed. "Mr. Shuester will stop trying to get us to work together with the football team, and you can go back to being nice and closeted. Okay?"

 

"Yeah." Dave muttered. 

 

"Have you spoken to your dad recently?" Sebastian asked, watching Dave.

 

"Not really, he's been busy with my mom. Divorce proceedings, you know? He wants her gone, before I move home."

 

"So, you're still living with Kurt and Finn." Sebastian stared at Dave for a long moment. "So, come on, which is more your speed?" 

 

"Huh?"

 

"Well, they're very different, and I want to get a feel for your type." 

 

Dave stared at Sebastian, shaking his head. "Uh... Neither?"

 

"So, it's only blondes?" Sebastian raised an eyebrow at Dave, making him blush. 

 

"I guess... sexuality aside, I'm just an ass man." Dave muttered, making Sebastian laugh. 

 

"I'll keep that in mind." 

 

* * *

 

 

"We don't need the football team." Kurt said raising his hand.

 

"Excuse me?" Coach Bieste turned to look at Kurt. 

 

"I was perusing the rules for the game, and I came across a rule that states that you only need 9 people to field a regulation team."

 

"That might be true, but... Puck, Finn, Sam, Mike, Artie and Dave is still only six." Mr. Shuester pointed out.

 

"Which is why..." Kurt Hummel stood up, followed quickly by Sebstian and Rachel. "You're looking at an old favourite, and two new members. We have permission slips. Rachel has agreed to just lay down when the ball gets thrown, and Sebastian and Myself are quick enough to avoid being sacked."

 

"Plus, the locker checks at this school mean that getting hit can't be that bad." Sebastian grumbled rubbing his arm.

 

"Kurt, no." Sam said quietly, standing up. "I can't let you get hurt like that." 

 

"Let me?" Kurt raised an eyebrow and patted Sam's cheek. "Sweetie, you don't 'let me' do anything." 

 

"Okay, that's... That's great!"

 

* * *

 

 

"I can't believe the football team got all the credit for that win." Kurt muttered, wrapping his arm around Sam's waist. "I did well, right?"

 

"You did great." Sam assured, grinning into Kurt's hair. "Except for that moment when you dropped the ball because it was too muddy."

 

"I was not told it was such a disgustingly dirty sport." Kurt huffed loudly. "At least we got the girls back."

 

"I still have my head cheerio too." Sam whispered. "In fact... I'm dating the only Cheerio in the Glee Club."

 

"I give it a week." Kurt shrugged, "Before Sue drags them back kicking and screaming."

 

"At least she won, right?" Sam hummed quietly. "I mean..."

 

"Thanks to me." Kurt grinned. "When I pointed out a few months ago how often people slip in and out of the Glee Club, she actually started teaching the second stringers to do more than wander around the halls aimlessly, in case her Cheerios grew a spine."

 

"So... You have Nationals to prepare for." Sam grinned.

 

"I'm going to rock it." Kurt laughed. "With my boyfriends support."

 

"Totally." 

 


	16. Silly Love Songs

 

**  
Silly Love Songs **

 

Valentines day.

 

If you'd asked Kurt last year, he'd have given you a week long rant about the stupidity and un-neccesary nature of the holiday.

 

But now we had a boyfriend. A hot, blonde, Quarterback boyfriend. 

 

Kurt grinned as he looked at the ring on his finger, and twisted his hand slightly to make it sparkle in the light. 

 

It was good to be king. 

 

"Hey." Sam grinned as he moved in behind Kurt, and wrapped his hands around his waist. "Happy Valentines Week." 

 

"A whole week?" Kurt asked, leaning back against Sam's chest.

 

"Couldn't fit everything I want to do into a day." Sam grinned, kissing the back of Kurt's head, before pulling away. "Starting with Color-me-yours tonight."

 

"Sounds very romantic." Kurt laughed, letting Sam lead him to the Glee Club. 

 

"Oh, that's just the start. Including...." Sam gestured, towards the seats, where Kurt and Sam's usual chairs had a huge bouquet laid across them. 

 

"Sam... They're beautiful." Kurt whispered, gently picking them up.

 

"Like you then."

 

Kurt laughed and gently slid them under his seat. "You're such a charmer." 

 

"I try."

 

They were so caught up in each other, that Kurt almost completely missed the whole start of Finn's speach, and only tuned in when Santana started speaking.

 

"I've kissed Finn, and it is so not worth a buck." 

 

"I wouldn't say that," Sebastian hummed, looking Finn up and down. "I might pay a visit."

 

"Uh... No dudes." Finn said quickly.

 

"Oh, no, if you have a kissing booth, you don't get to discriminate." Santana smirked, "You gotta kiss the boys too. Or was Mercedes right?"

 

"Money is money, Finn." Sam grinned leaning against Kurt. 

 

""Uh... Anyway." Finn said, turning his attention to Mr. Shuester. "That's just what I wanted to say."

 

"Okay. Great. So, people! Pair up." 

 

* * *

 

 

**_(Kurt)_ **

_Tale as old as time_

_True as it can be_

_Barely even friends_

_The sombody bends_

_Unexpectedly_

_Just a little change_

_Scall to say the least._

_Both a little scared_

_Neither one prepared_

_Beauty and the Beast_

_Ever just the same_

_Ever a surprise_

_Ever as before and_

_Ever just as sure_

_As the sun will rise_

_Ever just the same_

_Ever a surprise_

_Ever as before and_

_Ever just as sure_

_As the sun will rise_

_Tale as old as time_

_Tune as old song_

_Bitersweet and strange_

_Finding you can change_

_Learning you were wrong_

_Certain as the sun_

_Rising in the east_

_Tale as old as time_

_Song as old as Rhyme_

_Beauty and the Beast_

_Tale as old as time_

_Song as old as Rhyme_

_Beauty and the Beast_

 

Kurt finished his song with a soft sigh, watching as Sam grinned a little teary.  "I know it's not exactly the most romantic in content or context. But remembering that scene when I was kid just always made me think of romantacism."

 

"It was amazing." Sam whispered, as he stood up and pulled Kurt into his arms. "You have an amazing voice."

 

The two of them were the last to leave the Glee club rehearsal and Sam slowed to a stop when he caught sight of Finn's kissing booth. "I'm kind of pissed at him."

 

"The 'no dudes' sign?" Kurt asked, frowning when Sam nodded. 

 

"Can you see them?" 

 

Kurt glanced around, and immediately knew what Sam meant. Sebastian was leaning against the locker, with Dave, both of whom kept sneaking looks at the booth. A couple more class mates were milling around fairly obviously too. "I know what you could do." Kurt said carefully. "But it'd be a risk."

 

"Go on." Sam asked, crossing his arm.

 

"Well... Finn's all about competition." Kurt grinned. "And between you, me and Santana? We could cover every dynamic in the school population."

 

"Interesting." Sam hummed. "You sure you're good with me getting kissed that often?"

 

"Same question to you." Kurt pointed out, pausing. "It's for a good cause." 

 

"Do you mean Glee Club, or the Gay agenda."

 

"Is there a difference?" Kurt smirked, grabbing his phone. "I'll call Santana now." 

 

* * *

 

 

Dave gave a deep sigh, as he opened his locker. Last year, he'd got three different valentines requests. This year? He was alone. He should probably get used to it. He wasn't the kind of gay that people liked. They liked Kurt and Sebastian, who were small, hot and skinny. Even Sam was closer to a good looking gay, with his muscles and stuff.

 

Dave had muscles, but he was too bulky. In football it had been a pro. Now... When he wanted a boyfriend, it was a con. 

 

He grabbed his books for his next lesson, nearly missing the small piece of paper that slipped out from between them.

 

_Be My Valentine?_

 

_xx_

 

Dave couldn't place the scrawl at all, and it had no name on it. But it was obviously from this year. 

 

Still it warmed his heart for a few minutes, and with a small grin he slid it into his pocket. He had to get ready for Glee Club rehearsal.

 

When he slipped into the room, Kurt and Sam were already wrapped in conversation with Santana. And Finn was looking guiltily at Quinn, whilst Rachel whispered in his ear.

 

"What's going on?" He asked as he collapsed into a seat next to Sebastian.

 

"Quinn kissed Finn after the big game, but he shoved her away. And then she demanded a kiss at the booth, and when they kissed, Finn felt sparks. Now he thinks Rachel will beat him up or something." Sebastian hummed, sounding bored. "Also, we shouldn't expect Puck or Sunshine. He said he couldn't find a song for her, so he's just going to give her the best night."

 

"Cool." Dave grinned, nudging Sebastian's arm. "I got a valentine."

 

"Oh?" Sebastian hummed. "Did it have a name?"

 

"No." Dave shrugged, "But it's good to know I still got it." 

 

Sebastian grinned, looking Dave over. "Yes you do."

 

Dave paused, thinking for a moment before it hit him. "Oh."

 

"Oh?"

 

"It was you." Dave grumbled, crossing his arms. "You felt bad for me, or you thought it'd be funny."

 

"...." Sebastian stared at Dave for a moment, before he stood up.

 

"What are you doing?"

 

"Appearently, everyone in this school needs stuff sang at them if they're going to have any chance of understanding it!" Sebastian grumbled, checking everyone was there before cutting Mr Shue off. "Mr. Shuester, if I may?" 

 

"Sure, go ahead."

 

_(Sebastian)_

_Once I was a selfish fool_

_Who never understand_

_I never looked inside myself_

_But on the outside, I looked good!_

_Then we met and you made me_

_The man I am today._

_Baby, I'm in love with you_

_No matter what you weigh_

_'Cause...._

_Without love!_

_Life is like the seasons with no summer_

_Without love_

_Life is rock 'n' roll without_

_a drummer_

  
_Darling_ _, I'll be yours forever,_

_Cause I never wanna be._

_Without love_

_Darling, Never set me free_

_No, I ain't lyin'_

_Never set me free, Baby,_

_No-no-no!_

_Cause without love!_

_Like it like a beat that you can't follow_

_Without love_

_Life is Dorris Day at the Apollo_

_Darling I'll be yours forever,_

_cause I never wanna be_

_without love_

_So Darling, never set me free_

_I'm yours forever._

_Never set me free_

_If I'm left without my baby doll_

_I don't know what I'll do_

_Davey, I have got to break out_

_so that I can get my hands on you_

_And boy, If I can't touch you, I'm gonna lose control._

_Davey, you're my shining knight, I found my blue eyed soul_

_Sweet freedom is our goal!_

_Cause without love!_

_Life is like a prom that won't invite us_

_Without Love!_

_Life's getting my big break and laryngitis._

_Without love_

_Life's a 45 when you can't buy it_

_Without love_

_Lifes like Hummel on a diet._

_Like a week that's only mondays_

_Only ice cream never sundays_

_like a circle with no center_

_Like a door marked 'Do not enter!'_

_Darling, I'll be yours forever_

_Cause I never wanna be._

_(New Directions)_

_Without love_

_(Sebastian)_

_Yes now you've captured me!_

_(New Directions)_

_Without love_

_(Sebastian)_

_I Surrender Happily_

_(New Directions)_

_Without love_

_(Sebastian)_

_Oh Davey Never Set me free._

_No I ain't lying!_

_Never set me free_

_No no no_

_No I don't want to live without_

_Love Love Love_

_Darling you had best believe me_

_Never leave without love!_

_Dave was a blushing wreck by the end of the song, and Sebastian stood waiting for some kind of response, even amongst the clapping._

 

"I ....don't know what to say." Dave finally said, shifting awkwardly. "I've never been serenaded before." 

 

"Don't get used to it." Sebastian rolled his eyes. "So, will you be valentine?"

 

"... Yeah." Dave nodded, blushing when Finn leaned down and slapped his shoulders.

 

"Good." Sebastian said, smirking, as he sat back down. "Now stop moping. You're hotter when you smile."

 

* * *

 

 

"Uh... Excuse me?" 

 

Kurt glanced up, eyes wide. "Yuh-huh?"

 

"Is this the... uh... Alternate kissing booth?" The boy asked, shuffling from foot to foot.

 

"Yeah." Kurt said, grinning. "Don't panic. Complete secrecy guarenteed."

 

"I... I've never done anything like this before." The boy blushed akwardly.

 

"Well.. take your time." Kurt said softly. "Nobody is forcing you, and nobody is judging you." 

 

The boy gently put down the dollar and leaned forward pressing a soft kiss to Kurt's lips before he pulled back blushing, and left the little tent quickly. 

 

"Dude, when I agreed to this, I thought I'd be getting some guys kissing me." Sam grumbled. "I'm just being attacked by girls."

 

"It's the trouty mouth." Santana hummed, patting her stacks of dollars. "It scares the gays."

 

"I honestly though no-one would want me." Kurt hummed, crossing his arms.

 

"Kurt, you're the head cheerleader." Sam grinned, "Not even the co-head cheerleader. You're leading the team to nationals."

 

"And you're going to gets me back on the team." Santana ennunciated with her fingers. "With a provision that No-One gets shot out of a cannon."

 

"Working on it." Kurt grumbled good naturedly. "Now, shush. Here comes someone else."

 

They stayed there for half an hour before packing up for the day. Kurt kissed Sam on the cheek before he rushed off for his next class.

 

"You know... You should be worried." Santana hummed, leaning on Sam's shoulder. "He's steaming on ahead of you in the popularity department. And all this cutesy, romantic stuff? It won't satisfy him for long."

 

"You don't know anything Santana." Sam muttered, brushing her off. 

 

"Really? You're going to say I don't know anything, when I'm the only person in this school who worked out about you two without somekind of big announcement?" Santana snorted.

 

"Finn did too. You're going to group yourself with him?" Sam pointed out, sighing loudly. "What do you want?"

 

"I want to help." Santana said quietly. "I want to make Kurt so happy that he will get me back on the Cheerioes, and in Quinn Fabray's old spot."

 

"So, I'm a power play?" 

 

"When have you been anything but." Santana smirked. "You think Finn got you to join the glee club because he liked you? He wanted power away from Puck and Kurt when they took over his old spot. Kurt started dating you so that he'd have the Quarterback under his thumb and to relive his fantasies of Him and Finn. Quinn made a play for you to try and dethrone Rachel. You're just a giant pawn." 

 

Sam stared at her for a long minute, and then dropped the bag of tent equipment to the floor and stormed away. 

 

Santana smirked, crossing her arms herself. The first move had been played.

 

* * *

 

 

"This is really dorky." Kurt snorted, as he painted more die onto the shirt.

 

"Well then, maybe you shouldn't have come." Sam grunted, putting his brush down. 

 

"Hey!" Kurt gave him a hurt look. "I was just about to say how much I love it."

 

"Whatever."

 

"No, not whatever." Kurt hissed, moving the equipment Sam had brought to his house out of the way. "You've been pissy all day. What's going on?"

 

"Nothing."

 

"Really? Because it started after lunch, so... What? Was it the fact I kissed some guys, because I thought we were good about that."

 

"No. I know I'm hot." 

 

Kurt paused, raising an eyebrow. "And I'm not? Is that what you're implying? Or that I need other people to tell me I'm worth something?"

 

"Don't be stupid." 

 

"Okay, Sam. Guys kissed me. And I had fun. It was nice to feel wanted for once."

 

"So I don't make you feel wanted now?"

 

"That's not what I meant!"

 

"Whatever Kurt."  Sam grunted standing up. "This was stupid."

 

"No. It wasn't. Sam, talk to me. Tell me what's going on."

 

"Did you start dating me because I was a Quarterback?"

 

Kurt frowned, "No?"

 

"Was it because I remind you of Finn?"

 

"No, it wasn't." Kurt snapped back. "You think I'm so petty?"

 

"Well, let's see. The other Cheerios quit, but you hang around in both teams. Kinda seems like you're a little popularity obseessed."

 

"Oh, we're going to talk about playing for both teams, are we?" Kurt snapped, "Do you think I haven't noticed that Santana has been all over you." 

 

"Wow... You... You're accusing me of cheating?"

 

"I.... No." Kurt shook his head. "But it's hard knowing that I have to compete with girls who are way hotter than me just to have my boyfriends attention."

 

"So now I'm not allowed friends?" Sam said, crossing his arms. "I stopped hanging out with Quinn because you were jealous. What, do you want me to just live in your bedroom?"

 

"Sam, you're being insane. I didn't like Quinn because she was going to use you!"

 

"Like you are?!"

 

"I'm not using you! I love you!"

 

"Then look me in the eyes, and tell me that you didn't start dating me to make yourself more cool." Sam said quietly, staring Kurt down.

 

"I didn't start dating you to make myself look more cool." Kurt said sharply. "I didn't start dating you for any other reason than I liked you."

 

The two stood in silence for a long few minutes, before Sam grabbed his bag.

 

"Don't go." 

 

"I just.... Kurt, I need some time, okay?" Sam said. "I can't deal with all of this right now." 

 

Kurt nodded slowly. "I just.... Take this." He said quietly, opening his bag and handing a small gift to Sam. "Open it tomorrow? Valentine's Day." 

 

"Sure." Sam said quietly, closing the door behind him.

 

* * *

 

 

"I have an announcement." Kurt said simply, ignoring everything else. "Between Finn and our alternate kissing booth, we've raised enough money to pay for the disabled bus for regionals. And, I am taking a short break from the Glee Club."

 

"Wait, what?" Puck said, pulling himself out of the blackhole of his existance: Sunshine. "Did something go down."

 

"I believe I've burnt myself out a little recently." Kurt hummed quietly. "So, I'm taking a break from Glee Club, and Co-captaincy, for at least two weeks. I am handing my co-captaincy during this time to David." 

 

"Kurt..." Finn started standing up and glancing at Sam who was staring at the ground. "Is this because of what I overheard last night."

 

"In part." Kurt shrugged. "But I just.... I need a break. Coach Sylvester is going to start gearing me up for nationals soon, and I'm going to need as much energy as possible. But I want my friends to remember I'm still there for them. And...." Kurt paused, glancing at Santana and Quinn. "I want my enemies to know that I know who they are."

 

"You don't have to..." Sam said, standing up finally.

 

"No, Sam. I do. You're right. We have been pushing ahead without thinking, and we could both do with some time to think. Happy Valentines Day." 

 

Kurt turned on his heels, taking a deep breath as he walked out of the room. 

 

It was for the best.

 


	17. Comeback/Blame it on the alcohol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters today! Because I love you all!

  **Comeback/Blame it on the alcohol**  


 

 

 

Kurt sighed, bending backward to crack his back. "Coach, I've run this number a hundred times today."

 

"And you'll run it again now." Coach Sylvester snapped. "Go."

 

**_(Kurt)_ **

_You are the hole in my head, you are the space in my bed_

_You are the silence in between what I thought and what I said_

_You are the night time fear, you are the morning when it's clear_

_When it's over you're the start, you're my head, you're my heart_

_No light, no light in your bright blue eyes_

_I never knew daylight could be so violent_

_A revelation in the light of day_

_You can't choose what stays and what fades away_

_And I'd do anything to make you stay_

_No light, no light, no light, tell me what you want me to say_

_Through the crowds I was crying out and_

_In your place there were a thousand other faces_

_I was disappearing in plain sight_

_Heaven help me, I need to make it right_

_You want a revelation, you wanna get right_

_But, it's a conversation, I just can't help tonight_

_You want a revelation, some kind of resolution_

_You want a revelation_

_No light, no light in your bright blue eyes_

_I never knew daylight could be so violent_

_A revelation in the light of day_

_You can't choose what stays and what fades away_

_And I'd do anything to make you stay_

_No light, no light, no light, tell me what you want me to say_

_Would you leave me if I told you what I've done?_

_And would you leave me if I told you what I've become?_

_Because it's so easy to sing it to a crowd_

_But it's so hard, my love, to say it to you out loud_

_No light, no light in your bright blue eyes_

_I never knew daylight could be so violent_

_A revelation in the light of day_

_You can't choose what stays and what fades away_

_And I'd do anything to make you stay_

_No light, no light, no light, tell me what you want me to say_

_You want a revelation, you wanna get right_

_But it's a conversation I just can't have tonight_

_You want a revelation, some kind of resolution_

_You want a revelation_

_You want a revelation, you wanna get right_

_But it's a conversation I just can't have tonight_

_You want a revelation, some kind of resolution_

_Tell me what you want me to say_

Kurt slipped amongst the cheerleaders singing the song. There was more than he ever remembered there being, and they were awful, crowding him in and making it really difficult to push through them to get back to the front.

 

Finally, he pushed past Santana and Brittany, tripping in the process, and throwing his hands out to catch himself before he hit the floor.

 

When he looked up, he wished he'd hit his head and fallen unconscious. Sam and Quinn were just in front of him, locked in an embrace and kissing fiercely. 

 

"From beneath you, it devours." 

 

* * *

 

 

_"From Beneath you it Devours."_

 

Kurt gave a little jolt as he woke up,making Rachel nearly drop the popcorn she was holding.

 

"You okay? You fell asleep." 

 

"Just... Had a nightmare." Kurt muttered, shuffling up the bed. "Not a smart idea during Season Seven."

 

"Yeah, this got depressing fast." Puck grunted. "Luckily the jews not evil anymore."

 

"Can you be a Jewish Wicca?" Kurt hummed.

 

"I dunno. I mean they have literal magic in that universe." Rachel considered for a moment. "What was the nightmare?"

 

"Nothing?"

 

"Try again." Puck grunted, turning to look at him. 

 

"Cheerleading practice. Sam was making out with Quinn." Kurt sighed, resting his head in Rachel's shoulder. "What's going on in Glee Club?"

 

"We're exploring the meaning of Anthems." Rachel said warmly. "Sam dedicated a song to his absent love."

 

"It was a Justin Bieber song." Puck grunted, "Don't be too happy. Also, he didn't say Absent Love. He said, Kurt." 

 

Rachel glared at Puck for a moment. "You're just upset that Sunshine didn't sing to you."

 

"Screw you Berry." Puck snapped, pillowing his head on Kurt's thigh. "Why does she only sing to me when she's pissed off?" 

 

Kurt shrugged quietly. "I don't know." 

 

"Are you going to be okay?"

 

"Yeah." Kurt smiled, "I've already arranged my return to Glee Club with Mr. Shuester. The week after this next one." 

 

"Awesome. Then we'll make the Berry Train-wreck into your welcome back party." Puck pumped his fist in the air.

 

"It will not be a train wreck!" Rachel pouted,"I have wine coolers and karaoke."

 

".... Two song limit!" Kurt said quickly, poking her side. "You can sing two solos, and then duets."

 

"And I'm totally romancing your dads into letting me bust open the bar." Puck smirked, "Your dads love me."

 

"Who'll be there." Kurt asked, sitting up a little. 

 

"Glee Club." Puck crossed his arms. "We gonna have a problem?" 

 

"No. I'm.... I'm good. My repetative and frighteningly musical nightmares mean nothing." Kurt waved a hand dismissively. "Now shush, they're about to kill the tiny guy." 

 

* * *

 

 

Kurt looked at the basement door with dread, his hand inches from the handle. 

 

He could already hear the upbeat poppy music that Rachel had prepared, and the sound of people talking.

 

"Dude, my boyfriend is already down there." Dave muttered, "So can we go?"

 

"Sam's going to be there too." Kurt muttered. "Maybe I should just go home."

 

"It's kinda your party dude." Finn said, putting his hands on Kurt's shoulders. "You're not allowed to run."

 

"You're not allowed to be this confident, just because you and Rachel just started having sex." Kurt muttered, crossing his arm.

 

"How.... I mean .... How do you know?" Finn's voice slowly got quieter.

 

"Rachel tells me everything." Kurt hummed, lifting his nails to check them. "Why don't we go and discuss it."

 

"He's totally going to keep trying to distract us." Dave muttered, "Lift on three?" 

 

"One, Two...." Finn muttered, before they both siezed Kurt under the arms, and lifted him off the floor, carrying him down the stairs.

 

"Kurt!" Brittany cried running over and attaching herself to him. "You made it."

 

"I did." Kurt said awkwardly patting her back. "You can both put me down now."

 

Dave and Finn both dropped Kurt to the ground lightly, and went to hug there partners. 

 

"Hummel." Santana smirked, raising an eyebrow. "Surprised you'd show your face after you left in disgrace." 

 

"Lopez. How goes the being a massive bitch." Kurt smiled sweetly back. 

 

"Break it up." Quinn hummed stepping between them. "Kurt."

 

"Hey, Quinn."

 

"We need words." Quinn said quietly, glancing over her shoulder at Santana. "But you should say hello to everyone before we start though."

 

Kurt nodded, and moved on to hug Tina and Mike who both offered to kill Sam for him, if he wanted, Mercedes who shrugged awkwardly and offered him a drink.  Sunshine grabbed his hands and pulled him into a hug, whilst Sebastian rolled his eyes at Kurt and informed him he was being weak in backing down. Artie gave him an awkward wave as Sam spoke to him.

 

"Well, this is fun." Kurt muttered to Rachel. "Not Awkward at all."

 

"What do you mean?" Rachel grinned, "It's going amazingly."

 

"Battle lines have been drawn, and I feel like I am one of the sides." Kurt hummed, sipping his drink. 

 

"That's because Santana has her eyes on your boyfriend." Quinn said, as she sat on the edge of the stage. "She decided that you're only head cheerleader because of him, and if she can win him away from you, she'll get the position." 

 

"Nice." Kurt rolled his eyes. "So where are the battle lines?"

 

"Well, I, obviously, am on your side." Quinn smirked, "If I have to be beat by someone, it will never be Santana. Rachel and Puck are obvious. Mike, Tina, Sunshine, Sebastian, Dave, Finn."

 

"So, what about Brittany, Artie and Mercedes." 

 

"They're remaining neutral."

 

"Of course. So this should be easy enough...."

 

".... Except Santana has had a whole two weeks to be there for him, offering her chest to cry on." 

 

Kurt sighed, rubbing his eyes. "I wish I'd moved schools. There can't be anywhere this crazy in the world." 

 

"And give up Sam all together?"

 

"Shut up."

 

"My turn!" Santana called climbing off the bench where she had been practically straddling Sam and moving toward the stage. "Ladies, move!"

 

Kurt gave her a short glare, but let Quinn lead him away from the stage to allow Santana to climb up onto it. 

 

**_(Santana)_ **

_Let's have some fun_

_this beat is sick_

_I wanna take a ride_

_on your disco stick_

_Let's have some fun_

_this beat is sick_

_I wanna take a ride_

_on your disco stick_

_huh!_

_I wanna kiss you_

_But if I do then I_

_might miss you babe!_

_It's complicated and stupid_

_Got my ass squeezed by sexy cupid._

_Gues he wants to play_

_wants to play_

_a love game_

_a love game._

_Hold me and love me_

_Just wanna touch you for a minute_

_Baby three seconds is enough_

_for my heart to quit it._

_Let's have some fun_

_this beat is sick_

_I wanna take a ride_

_on your disco stick_

_Don't think to much_

_just bust that quick_

_I wanna take a ride_

_on your disco stick_

_Let's play a love game_

_play a love game_

_Do you want love or do you want fame_

_are you in the game?_

_Dial the love game._

_Let's play a love game_

_play a love game_

_Do you want love or do you want fame_

_are you in the game?_

_Dial the love game._

_I'm on a mission_

_and it involves some heavy touching you_

_You've indicated your interest_

_I'm educated in sex, yes._

_And now I want it bad_

_want it bad_

_a love game_

_a love game_

_Hold me and love me_

_Just wanna touch you for a minute_

_Baby, three seconds is enough_

_for my heart to quit it._

_Let's have some fun_

_this beat is sick_

_I wanna take a ride_

_on your disco stick_

_Don't think to much_

_just bust that quick_

_I wanna take a ride_

_on your disco stick_

_Let's play a love game_

_play a love game_

_Do you want love or do you want fame_

_are you in the game?_

_Dial the love game._

_Let's play a love game_

_play a love game_

_Do you want love or do you want fame_

_are you in the game?_

_Dial the love game._

_I can see you staring there from across the block_

_With a smile on your face, and your hand on your-Huh!_

_The story of us It always starts the same_

_With a boy, and a girl, and a -Huh! and a game!_

_And a game!_

_Let's play a love game_

_play a love game_

_Do you want love or do you want fame_

_are you in the game?_

_Dial the love game._

_Let's play a love game_

_play a love game_

_Do you want love or do you want fame_

_are you in the game?_

_Dial the love game._

_Let's play a love game_

_play a love game_

_Do you want love or do you want fame_

_are you in the game?_

_Dial the love game._

_Let's play a love game_

_play a love game_

_Do you want love or do you want fame_

_are you in the game?_

_Dial the love game._

Everyone politely applauded except Sam, who whooped and grinned, hugging the girl. Santana pressed a brief kiss to his lips, before shoving him back onto the couch, and climbing onto him, with a victorious smirk at Kurt.

 

"Bitch." Kurt hissed, folding his arms. "Fine, she wants to play this out musically? I can do that."

 

"Kurt..." Rachel warned, swaying slightly.

 

**_(Kurt)_ **

_She's Sophisticated_

_Or So She Seems_

_This place is over rated_

_but it's the place to be._

_She never comes alone_

_And everyones her friend_

_Her home away from home._

_Well she thinks she looking classy_

_But it's easy to see!_

_Cause she shines like a diamond_

_Thinks she's a queen!_

_When she's hanging on the shoulders_

_of Cocain Kings._

_Got a wad of daddy's money and_

_a line on the sink!_

_So she thinks_

_Shes the Queen of the Scene._

_She's in the VIP_

_The envy of the fans_

_Thinks she's the city's elite_

_Because she's up with the band_

_She's a high atop her throne,_

_With the gun in hand_

_Well she can't feel her pretty face_

_Well she's looking down upon you_

_But the Bitch can barely stand._

_Cause she shines like a diamond_

_Thinks she's a queen!_

_When she's hanging on the shoulders_

_of Cocain Kings._

_Got a wad of daddy's money and_

_a line on the sink!_

_So she thinks_

_Shes the Queen of the Scene._

_The Train wrecks, it's off track_

_Her nose bleeds_

_She's smashed._

_She can't see_

_Where she's at_

_It doesn't really matter cause she never looks back_

_Cause she shines like a diamond_

_Thinks she's a queen!_

_When she's hanging on the shoulders_

_of Cocain Kings._

_Got a wad of daddy's money and_

_a line on the sink!_

_So she thinks_

_Shes the Queen of the Scene_

_Shes the Queen of the Scene_

Kurt smiled at Santana and waved at her with a single hand, before climbing off the stage.

 

"Wow, subtlty is not the game at this party." Quinn hummed, sipping her drinks

 

"Party Games!" Tina yelled. "Spin the bottle!"

 

* * *

 

 

"Kurt, can I speak to you." Sam asked, his steps unsteady. 

 

"I'm not sure, has Santana climbed into your mouth by this point." Kurt sneered, crossing his arms.

 

"You were the one who wanted a break."

 

"Because we were arguing Sam. Not... Not because I stopped loving you," Kurt whispered.

 

"Well it hurt. It felt like you were giving up on us." Sam muttered, resting against the wall. "Because I was stupid and thought stupid things, and now the only person who wants me is Santana."

 

"No, people want you to be with me." Kurt pointed out as he leant against the wall. "Because we were really good together. And it was little miss.... Lopez, who decided she wanted to start intefering, because she was bored or something."

 

"So.... Can we be cool again?" Sam asked, stepping forward awkwardly.

 

"..." Kurt paused. "Not... Not yet. You're drunk, and I'm tipsy. And come tomorrow morning, we might not know how we feel."

 

Sam nodded, sighing. "Would it help if I sang to you?"

 

"A little." Kurt admitted. "I love a good love song."

 

**_(Sam)_ **

_I took a drive in the middle of the night_

_The first time I've done that_

_Without you at my side_

_And our song was on the radio_

_It seems to follow me_

_Everywhere I go._

_So would you_

_Come back in the middle of the night_

_And tell me everything is going to be alright_

_Alright_

_Alright_

_Without._

_You here, everything is grey_

_The color faded when you packed your bags_

_And you drove away_

_It's hard to act, like everythings the same_

_The closest I can get to you is in this frame_

_I wanna hear you say_

_That you will_

_come back in the middle of the night_

_and tell me everything is going to be alright_

_alright_

_alright_

_face to face while the stars are burning bright_

_and you tell me everything is going to be alright_

_alright_

_alright_

_it's alright_

_alright_

_alright_

_In the dark, you come to life_

_the memories of you and I._

_and i want to keep you here with me_

_don't wake me up just let me dream_

_come back in the middle of the night_

_and tell me everything is going to be alright_

_alright_

_alright_

_face to face while the stars are burning bright_

_and you tell me everything is going to be alright_

_alright_

_alright_

_it's alright_

_it's alright_

_It'll never be alright, without you._

Sam finished, his hands tight around Kurt's wrist, as he willed Kurt to understand what he was asking.

 

"It is. Sam, of course it's alright." Kurt assured. "Look, still wearing your ring, see?"

 

"Do you have anything you want to sing to me?"

 

Kurt nodded slightly, stepping closer.

 

**_(Kurt)_ **

_Without you_

_The ground thaws_

_The rain pours_

_The Grass grows_

_Without you_

_The seed root_

_The flowers bloom_

_The children play_

_The stars blink_

_The poets dream_

_The eagles fly_

_Without you_

_The earth turns_

_The sun burns_

_But I die_

_Without you._

_Without You_

_The breeze warms_

_The girl smiles_

_the crowd moves_

_Without you_

_the tides change_

_the boy's drunk_

_The oceans crash_

_The crowsds roar_

_the days soar_

_The baby is crying_

_Without you_

_The moon glows_

_The river flows_

_But I die_

_Without you_

_The world revives_

_The colors renew_

_But I grow blue_

_Only blue_

_Lonely blue_

_Without You_

_Without you_

_The hand gropes_

_The ear hears_

_The pulse beats_

_Without you_

_The eyes gaze_

_The legs walk_

_The lungs breath_

_The mind  churns_

_The heart yearns_

_the tears dry_

_without you_

_Life goes on_

_But I'm gone_

_Cause I died_

_Without you._

_Without you_

_Without you._

* * *

 

 

Kurt sighed, resting his head on Finn's legs.  "Sam's so great isn't he?"

 

"Sure he is Kurt." Finn grinned down, petting Kurt's hair softly and absent mindedly.

 

"He's got an awesome body, and he's funny, and we watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer." Kurt rocked his head back and forth. "I think I'm gonna marry him."

 

"Oh? Does he know?" Finn asked, raising his eyebrow.

 

"He'll work it out when we get to the church." Kurt shrugged. "I'm glad your my brother now."

 

"Why's that?"

 

"Because you're honour bound to listen to me talk about my boyfriend and not tell my dad." Kurt snickered, lifting his head to sip on more of the red solo cup beside him. "And Dave's awesome. And so's Puck. But you're my actual legal brother."

 

"Does that mean Sam'll be my brother in law?" 

 

Kut groaned, "I will be raising my children with football in mind won't I?" 

 

"I promise I won't push them into it." Finn laughed. "And I'll be totally cool if the boys like girl stuff, or the girls want me to teach them too."

 

Kurt reached up and patted Finn's cheek. "Good Finn."

 

"Legs up, Kurt." Sam said as he tried to slip under them, taking a seat on the couch with them. "What you talking about?"

 

"How you and Finn are going to make our children into little toothless football players before they're 14." Kurt hummed. 

 

"We have children? Do we need to have a discussion about you having a weird boy-gina?"

 

"In my thoat?" Kurt pointed out.

 

"Ew." Finn mumbled. 

 

"Relax, Sam does it more often, and you kissed him on the lips during in Spin the Bottle." Kurt laughed as Finn's face went white and he started raking his fingers over his tongue.

 

"Why's Finn freaking out?" Tina asked standing over them, giggling.

 

"He thinks he has my sperm on his tongue from when he kissed Sam." Kurt shrugged. "I've been told I taste good."

 

"He has to say that Hummel." Puck leant over the back of the couch, Sunshine on his back. "He loves you."

 

"I kept lying to Puck about it, until I couldn't stand it anymore, and I forced him to taste it." Sunshine added.

 

"I still say it wasn't that bad." Puck grunted, kissing her cheek. 

 

"Which is why I still swallow."

 

"Oh god, can we not." Finn whined. "Please."

 

"But, Finn. I swa-" 

 

"Rachel you will regret finishing that tomorrow." Finn sighed, pointing at her. "Okay, since me and Quinn are the only sober ones, we're going to get everyone to bed."

 

"Santana and Brittany already left." Quinn grinned, "Seems like she wasn't too broke up about losing Sam."

 

"I think she was just bored anyway, and was upset Brittany wasn't paying attention to her." Kurt shrugged, "Sorry baby."

 

"It's cool." Sam sighed. 

 

"Okay, so.... Finn I will take my room." Rachel swayed on the spot. "Tina and Mike, and Sam and Kurt can take Puck and Kurt's sleepover room. Puck and Sunshine can have the guest room, Quinn can take Mercedes, and Artie home."

 

"Sebastian and Dave."

 

"Oh, they went back to your house." Puck smirked. "Someone's being made a man tongight." 

 

"Money on it being Dave." Tina said, holding up a hand. "He seems like the type who'd enjoy a firm hand. And a firm..."

 

"Shhh." Mike whispered, covering her mouth. "We're very drunk. So let's go to sleep."

 

"Can we stay awake, and when Kurt and Sam think we're asleep watch?" Tina asked, resting her head on Mike's shoulder.

 

".... I won't tell if you won't."

 

"We're sat right here." Kurt whispered, "Do they not.... I really wish I'd swapped schools." 

 


	18. Sexy

 

**Sexy**

 

Kurt grinned as he turned the corner to Sam's street. It was going to be a great day. He had Sam coming to dinner, and Finn was going to play football with him before hand, so after the food, they could have a nice leisurely make out session, whilst Dave and Finn avoided Burt, because Burt had walked in on Dave and Sebastian in Finn's bedroom. 

 

Kurt pulled to a stop outside the Evans house.

 

He glanced up

 

And he saw the 'For Sale' sign.

 

* * *

 

Sam had just knocked on Kurt's door when the arms grabbed him from behind holding him tight. Too big to be Kurt, but not big enough to be Finn or Dave.

 

"Where the Fuck have you been." Puck grunted into his back. "We've all been out looking for you fuck-wad!"

 

Sam didn't answer, his blood running cold. 

 

"Come on, inside." Puck snapped, opening the door without preamble and shoving Sam inside. "Look what I found."

 

Kurt's head shot around first, Sebastian and Dave's following a moment later, as Finn and Burt strode out of the kitchen. 

 

Burt was the first to react, wrapping arms around Sam tightly. "I just got off the phone with your mother." 

 

"Oh." Sam whispered, unconsciously slumping into the hug.

 

"We thought your family had skipped town." Dave said, jumping up. "Or like... there'd been accident and you were dead. No-one could remember speaking to you yesterday..."

 

"Guys. Don't crowd him." Sebastian said flatly. "Finn, Puck, Dave. Sit down. Kurt... I can't tell you what to do, because it's 50/50 on if you'd do what I said or the opposite."

 

Finn opened his mouth as if to argue, and then moved to sit down. Puck and Dave followed shortly after.

 

"Now, I'm going to call the Berry's and tell them they can come back. My mother will be here soon, and Dave's father, and Carole and your parents." Sebastian continued, folding his arms. "My suggestion, is that Kurt finishes whatever very very gay thing he is cooking in the kitchen that's supposed to cheer you up, and we go downstairs and do.... I don't know. Something manly, and without our emotions."

 

"Is it homophobic if he's... gay?" Burt grunted to Kurt, looking confused.

 

"No, Sebastian's just a bitch." Kurt rolled his eyes. "But he's right. The adults need to speak, and we need to go downstairs and calm down."

 

"Do the adults talk to each other much?" Dave shuffled uncomfortably. 

 

"My mother doesn't, but she has been driving around for us." Sebastian shrugged. "The others apparently have this PFLAG thing going on."

 

"I'm not gay." Finn blinked, looking at Kurt. "Does my mom think I'm gay?"

 

"Me. Finn, me." Kurt rolled his eyes. 

 

"Oh... Yeah. Right." Finn blushed. "Come on dudes. Downstairs." 

 

"Go ahead a moment," Kurt said, gesturing at Sam to stay. Burt awkwardly shuffled into the kitchen, leaving Kurt and Sam alone.

 

"Kurt..."

 

"I take it we're not making out today." Kurt said quietly, as he wrapped his arms around Sam's waist.

 

"Together two days again, and we're in crisis mode." Sam whispered. 

 

"What's happening Sam? Because my dad literally just got off the phone when Puck brought you in." 

 

"I.... My parents lost their house." Sam said quietly. "I'm homeless."

 

"You always have a home." Kurt said sharply. "Unless I lose mine too. And then we'll cuddle for heat under the underpass."

 

Sam stared at Kurt for a long time. "Kurt... I have a backpack full of clothes, a bag of books and comics, my school stuff, and my guitar. That's it."

 

"So?" Kurt shrugged. "I still love you. Now go downstairs and be manly with your boys. I'm making Tuna Pasta, that you will eat. And a few pizzas. You will comfort eat, understand."

 

"Yes sir." Sam whispered, leaning in and hugging Kurt. "I love you." 

 

"I love you too. Now, go be manly." Kurt gestured to the basement.

 

Sam quickly descended the stairs, expecting to find that people were sat around awkwardly. Instead, Dave, Finn and Puck siezed him and Carried him to the bed, before Puck and Finn wrapped there arms around him. "If this is going to get kinky, we should talk safewords." Sam mutted as Sebastian and Dave made themselves comfortable at the bottom of the bed.

 

"Relax, my brother would kill me." Finn snorted. "Although, I could do worse than the co-Quarterback."

 

"We'd be the most popular boys in school." Sam smirked.

 

"Hey, date a Puckerman. It's what all the cool kids are doing." Puck cut in, tightening his grip. "I swallow."

 

"You don't blow people." Finn pointed out, glaring over Sam's head.

 

"I theoretically swallow." Puck re-assessed.

 

"Or you could have me and Dave." Sebastian smirked, raising an eyebrow. "Dave likes your ass, and I'm curious about what's up front." 

 

"Dude!" Dave grunted, hitting Sebastian with a pillow.

 

"Is that how it went down between the two of you?" Finn asked curiously, "Because I stand to make money of Tina."

 

"Hmmm.... cut me in for 30% and it can have gone down however you like." Sebastian grinned.

 

Dave blushed. "We're not discussing what happened between me and Sebastian."

 

"Dude, you so took it like a man." Puck grinned. "Burt was asking me about it super awkwardly. Making sure you had been wined and dined, and did I approve of Sebastian."

 

"I hate my life." Dave muttered, ducking his head.

 

"Hey, no shame in taking it." Puck shrugged, "In fact, I had this awesome idea for me and Sunshine, right?" 

 

"No. Not listening." Finn muttered, "I don't want to hear."

 

"Dude, it's a strap on. It won't..."

 

"LALALA" Finn said loudly, making Sam laugh. 

 

"At least we made him laugh. There's a start." Puck said, "But, dude. You're telling me you've never... you know, stuck a finger..."

 

"No!" Finn said quickly. "No fingers anywhere near there."

 

"Probably for the best, with Hudson's hair trigger." Dave muttered under his breath, making Sebastian snort with laughter, before he leaned in to whisper into Dave's ears

 

"Come on, Davey. Even you had to be coerced into it, and now you demand it every time I..."

 

"We can still hear you!" Finn hissed, hiding his face in Sam's neck. "Make them stop talking about putting things in my butt."

 

"It's a pretty nice butt." Sam hummed, none commitally, glancing exageratedly over at it. 

 

"Traitor." Finn gasped.

 

"Your fault for being the only completely straight guy in the room." Sebastian shrugged.

 

They laid in silence for a long moment, before Finn spoke again.

 

"It really feels good? Cause... I mean, if it were Rachel..."

 

That was enough to set Puck off, laughing, and Dave wasn't far behind. Sebastian look torn between hysterical laughter and revulsion at the mental image, so it fell to Sam.

 

"Finn? If you do it right, and you give it a fair shot, it's awesome. There's no shame in it."

 

Finn nodded slowly, frowning. "I feel like I should try with someone who knows this stuff though. Rachel has really sharp fingernails."

 

"Yeah, don't do that." Sebastian said quickly. "Nothing sharp should go near there ever."

 

"Try a pencil?" Dave offered, shrugging.

 

Sam was about to point out the safety issues with that, when Kurt's amused voice came from the stairs. 

 

"You know, when I said come down and talk about something manly, I honestly never thought the topic would be anal masturbation." He said, glancing at the people in the room. "Wait. Sebastian's here. I retract my comment." 

 

"Hey, Kurt." Finn waved, "Is it as good as they make out?"

 

"I wouldn't know Finn." Kurt hummed, bringing the huge pan from the stairs and putting it on his table.

 

"Damn, Sam." Dave smirked, "Looks like you'll be blue balled for life."

 

"Or, I bottom." Sam pointed out. "Which is totally an option."

 

"I always thought it was the girly guy who ... you know, took it." Finn muttered. "Which is how I lost 10 dollars."

 

"Oh, Dave bottomed?" Kurt asked, curiously. "Good for you." 

 

"Thanks." Dave muttered, blushing. "And seriously? My sex life is this interesting."

 

"Well, the topics of discussion for that night were 'Does Kurt have proof Santana takes Cocain?' which, no, that wasn't the point of what I was singing. 'Did Kurt and Sam get back together?' which was a yes. And 'Who do you think bottomed last night, Dave or Sebastian.'"

 

"So, like it doesn't matter?" Finn asked curiously, cocking his head. 

 

"I always say the bigger dick gets to top." Sebastian grinned.

 

"So did Dave's fall off?" Kurt muttered sarcastically.

 

"Hey, I'm very well endowed."

 

"Don't you dare make him prove it." Finn pointed at Kurt and Puck. "This is already 50 miles over my comfort limit."

 

"Anyway, boys, help yourself to pasta." Kurt hummed, glancing at the bed. "And one of you move so I can cuddle my boyfriend."

 

"Nope." Puck smirked pulling Sam closer. "Sam's hella cuddly."

 

"Yeah man," Finn grinned shuffling closer to Sam. "You're going to have to fight for them."

 

Kurt paused looking between his best friend and his brother. "You make embarrasing you so easy!"

 

"You have no proof about my browser history!" Finn said quickly, glaring at Kurt.

 

"Hey, Sebastian. I know you've been curious about Finn's genitalia." Kurt said loudly, crossing his arms.

 

"No!" Finn said quickly, jumping to his feet. "Bad Kurt! Bad Kurt!"

 

"I warned you." Kurt shrugged. "I feel like I should do it just to spite you now."

 

"You promised." 

 

"Finn, relax. He wouldn't have done it." Puck grunted. "But you cave like Quinn Fabray after three wine coolers dude." 

 

"Wow... I don't know how to answer that." Kurt blinked at Puck. "I almost want to say too soon, but..."

 

"Hey, Guys." Burt shouted from the top of the stairs. "Can Kurt and Sam come up please?"

 

* * * 

 

"Okay, so, everyone knows everyone right." Burt gestured. "Except Mrs. Smythe, sorry."

 

"Charmed." Kurt said taking her hand and kissing the back softly.

 

"Oh, a gentleman." Mrs. Smythe grinned. "Perhaps you can be a good role model for my Sebby."

 

Kurt resisted the squeak of joy he felt bubbling at the new nickname. "I do try. Now... I'm very sorry, but I feel that I am severely out of the loop here." 

 

"We...." Mrs. Evans paused, taking her husbands hand. "We fell into some financial difficulty that has resulted in losing the house. And with no steady income, there's no way for us to even begin looking for anywhere else."

 

Kurt couldn't help his small gasp, as he raised his hand to his mouth. "I'm so sorry." 

 

"It's not your fault." Mr. Evans shrugged. "It's not really anyone's fault."

 

"So... What's going to happen now?" Sam asked, "I know we got the motel room, but..."

 

"No you don't." Burt said gruffly. 

 

"Myself and Leroy," Hiram said, standing up and gesturing to his partner, "Have offered your family the use of our house. Your mother and father can have the guest bedroom, and the delightful Stacy and Stevie can have the room we put aside for Puckerman and Kurt." 

 

"Where am I going to stay?" Sam asked, blinking.

 

"That's your choice." Mr. Karofsky coughed awkwardly. "Now that Dave's mother is gone, he can move back home. And our house isn't the biggest, but we can fit you in there."

 

"Or you could stay here." Burt said simply. "But I'm warning you now, you'd be rooming with Finn, so he can keep an eye on you and Kurt, you here?"

 

"And you're okay with this?" Sam asked his parents quietly.

 

His parents nodded quietly, and Hiram stepped in. "You'd always be welcome to join us for meals, and if you need to stay with your family, we can change our oscar lounge into a third bedroom."

 

"No... I... I just don't know what to say." Sam said.

 

Kurt took his hand quietly. "It's your decision. If you want to stay with Dave? That's fine. If you want to stay with me? That's fine too. I'd love to have you here all the time, even if you'd be staying with Finn."

 

"Dad?" Dave's voice came from the doorway quietly. "I... I'm not sure I'm ready to come home yet."

 

"Oh." Dave's dad said quietly. "Why?"

 

"I just.... I feel safe here. And... We barely talk at the moment, and I hadn't seen you in a week before today. I just... I need more time."

 

"Okay, new sleeping arrangements pending." Carole said quietly, patting Mr. Karofsky's hand. 

 

"And I'll call you on monday, to tell you when you can begin work." Mrs. Smythe said quietly, patting Mrs. Evans hand. "I can't wait."

 

* * *

 

 

"Kurt..." Finn asked in the dead of the night, making Kurt jolt awake.

 

"Oh, my, god, Finn!" Kurt moaned, hitting his brother with the pillow. "What do you want this time."

 

"No, dude, totally a serious question this time." Finn said, turning to face Kurt. "I just.... I'm curious about something."

 

Kurt sighed, rolling onto his side to look at Finn. "Yes?"

 

"Is Sam going to be alright?"

 

"You're the one who's roomed with Dave before, so you tell me." Kurt muttered sarcastically, turning back onto his back

 

"That's not what I meant, and you know it." Finn smacked Kurt's arm.

 

"I... I don't know." Kurt admitted, soothing down the arm of his silky sleeping clothes. (A quick game of Rock, Paper, Scissors meant Finn got to sleep under the covers whilst Kurt slept on top.

 

"He always lookslike he needs a hug." Finn mutteredm "I mean, more than you and Rachel do when you're remoting."

 

"Emoting." Kurt corrected, "But yes. Sam is upset."

 

"You should do something for him." 

 

"Like what?"

 

"I dunno.... Blow him? Guys love blowjobs." 

 

Kuty gaped, turning his head to look at Finn. "What?"

 

"What? If I were sad, I'd want...." Finn started, but Kurt slapped a hand over his mouth. 

 

"No." He hissed, glancing at the door. "And you're the one who's supposed to be completely and utterly terrified about mentioning this kind of stuff!"

 

Finn removed Kurt's hand and smirked. "Dude, I'm totally fine with it. Just gotta keep up appearences, you know? Can't be letting Dave and Sebastian think they have a chance." 

 

Kurt shook his head, "You are...such a freak."

 

"And you won't blow your boyfriend, so I still think I'm the better person." Finn hummed quietly.

 

"My blowjobs are amazing, but they can't reverse time." 

 

"Rachel's sometimes make me lose time." 

 

"Ew. No." Kurt grabbed one of his smaller pillow and hit Finn with it. "No hetero talk in my bedroom."

 

"Technically? Our bedroom now." Finn grinned, "Maybe I should invite Rachel over and..."

 

"No you will not, Finn Hudson!"

 

"Hey, it's my bedroom too."

 

"Fine, then maybe I'll blow Sam in 'his' bedroom!"

 

"Go ahead, Sebastian already did Dave in there."

 

"You suck."

 

"You swallow."

 

Kurt made a disgusted noise and shuffled away. "I can't believe I ever had a crush on you."

 

"I'm awesome." 

 

"You're...." Kurt made a vague grunting noise. "I'm going to sleep."

 

"Okay..." Finn sighed, turning his back to Kurt. "Goodnight little brother."

 

"Goodnight, Finn."

 

* * *

 

 

Kurt grinned, opening the door. "Miss Holliday, a pleasure."

 

"Littlest Gay." Holly laughed, wrapping an arm around the boy. "Come in, I was just marking some papers."

 

Kurt glanced around the room, and sighed. "No costumes, No microphone stand and band, whatever happened to you." 

 

"I have props." Holly held up a cucumber. "Sit down, seriously."

 

Kurt slid into the chair opposite the desk. "I wanted to say that I hope you find a way to stick around for Regionals. We could do with some enthusiasm."

 

"Kurt..." Holly leaned back in her chair. "I'm just a substitute."

 

"Then just come to the show." Kurt grinned, holding out a ticket. "Finn got two tickets, and so did I, so... here." 

 

Holly took the ticket and glanced over at Kurt. "You're an annoyingly good person, you know that?"

 

"Step up from just being annoying." Kurt shrugged. "So, how did the week of hell go. Finn said that he may have played up his stupidity a little in your class."

 

"I hope to god he did." Holly laughed, "Listen to this answer. Name a form of contraception for vaginal or anal sex."

 

"Yes?" Kurt waited, frowning.

 

"Share a bedroom with Kurt Hummel." Holly said, putting down the test paper. "So, either I need to get Will to sing about Homophobia for a week, or you're being a cock block."

 

"If I'm not having sex in my bedroom, he isn't either." Kurt huffed, crossing his arms. 

 

"So you are." Holly shrugged. "Oh well, your choice. You should make that move when you feel ready, and as your own personal space, you should feel safe in your room, and yadayadayada."

 

"Right now, we have four teenage boys living in our house. Privacy is something we're all lacking." Kurt crossed his arm. "If I have to cope so does he."

 

"Sure he does, Littlest Gay."

 

"Look, just because Sam's taller than me, doesn't mean I'm the littlest gay." Kurt glared. "Sebastian is 70% hair, height wise."

 

"Mmhm." Holly grinned. "So how's it going with Sam?"

 

"It's.... It's fine. We had a break, but now we're back together. It's a little strange, but nice, you know? He's staying with us for a while."

 

"Nice." Holly nodded. "My suggestion is kick Finn out of your room, and enjoy life."

 

"I'm worried about how much Finn would traumatise Dave." Kurt deadpanned. 

 

"Actually, Finn did very well on this test." Holly pointed out. "He put the right answers underneath his sarcastic ones, and he's very well informed."

 

"Oh, I know." Kurt rolled his eyes. "It was one of my things. If he wanted me to forgive him for being a homophobe, he had to educate himself. I'm worried that he's going to embarrass Dave with his knowledge and make him blush so brightly that we're all blinded."

 

Holly laughed, and slid half a bar of chocolate across the table. "So did you see Animal Hoarders last night?"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a fun little chapter! Also, pulling forward the whole Homeless!Sam storyline, because having a boyfriend made it much harder to hide.


	19. Original Songs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Minor crossover with Smash. No characters actually appear, but are mentioned in passing. And some songs from the show are used as 'original' songs.

**Original Song**

"You're sure you don't want me to send Finn with you." Burt muttered, as he straightened out Kurt's jacket shoulders. "Cause I can put him up in a hotel room."

"It's fine." Kurt assured, as he picked up his bag. "I'll be back tomorrow evening. All I'm going to miss is one day of classes."

"Your second Nationals." Burt grinned, "We're all going to watch on the TV."

"All?"

"Puck, Mrs. Puckerman, Rachel, The Berrys, Me, Carole, Finn, Dave, Sebastian and Sam." Burt grinned, "The whole family. We're using the Oscar Lounge."

Kurt sighed, "Great. So if I fail, everyone will see it."

"You're not going to fail, Kurt. We're Hummels. Hummels never fail."

Kurt grinned, hugging his dad once more. "Okay. Tomorrow. And Don't let Finn take Rachel into my room. Or Dave and Sebastian. Or... You know what? Only one person at a time in my room."

"Got it." Burt laughed, hugging his son. "Now, go and make me proud."

"I always do." Kurt laughed, turning on his heels, and stalking towards Quinn's car. "Fabray."

"Hummel." Quinn grinned, "Have I told you lately how you're my favourite gay?"

"Because Sebastian asked you when you'd stop wearing the Maternity Clothes?" Kurt grinned.

"Because you got Sue to get us back on the team before Nationals." Quinn said. "I know that was you."

"Apparently, Santana needs something to keep her attention off my boyfriend." Kurt shrugged, "And I don't want to see what you do when you're bored."

"Prom Queen looks good." Quinn hummed. "I'm going to strong arm Finn into running with me."

"You understand he's dating Rachel."

:"Don't worry, I asked her first. She thinks it would be a great boost to his self-confidence."

"Like he needs more." Kurt snorted, "Okay, get us to the plane before Coach Sylvester decides we're not needed."

* * *

  
"Hummel."

Kurt lifted his sleep mask, and resisted the urge to lean over and slap the girl in front of him. "Lopez."

"Can we talk?" She asked, not bothering to wait before sliding into the seat next to him.

"Going to try and seduce me?" Kurt asked, pushing his blanket and sleep mask to one side.

"I want your opinion on something." Santana hummed. "I like Brittany. I told her, and she pointed out that she's dating Artie. And on one hand I want to be a good person, and be happy for her, but on the other..."

"You really want Brittany." Kurt finished. "Okay. First off, what do you identify as?"

"I..." Santana paused, looking around the private cabin that Sue had put Kurt in. "I think I'm a lesbian."

"Okay. And I'm interpreting Brittany's remark that she's a bi-corn that she's bisexual?"

"Yeah."

"Okay." Kurt sighed, running his hands through his hair. "First off, you've got to stop having sex with her."

"How did you..."

"I just know. Stop having sex with her. And focus on yourself for a while, making yourself comfortable in your new sexuality" Kurt sighed. "And wait for her. This thing with Artie will inevitably blow up because he generally sucks as a human being."

"Right." Santana sighed, crossing her arms.

"Focus on something else... Like... Why don't you run for prom queen?" Kurt pointed out. "Then when Brittany is ready, you can rule the school with her."

Santana nodded slowly, a small grin playing across her face. "Yeah. Yeah that'd be great."

* * *

  
Sam's face was pressed deep into Finn's neck, as Dave ran a reassuring hand down his back. "I can't watch this."

"Dude, do you think Sue would let him do anything too dangerous." Finn asked.

"She wanted to launch Brittany out of a cannon!" Sam snapped.

"She didn't?" Finn tried, and then winced. "Okay, I really wish you were big enough that I could hide my face in your neck." He grumbled at Rachel, who shrugged and rested her head on Finn's shoulder.

"Kurt can handle it."

"That guy just threw him about 30 feet into the air." Dave said, sounding a little queasy. "I thought Cheerleading was easy."

"What's he singing?"

"So far I heard French, German and Spanish." Hiram sipped his martini.

"Can I get him to quit cheerleading." Sam asked, turning to Dave. "Would that be a thing I could do."

"I've tried stopping Kurt doing things since he was born." Burt grunted. "Never worked."

"I think it's finishing." Finn pointed out, and then winced. "Nope, just getting ready to throw Quinn and Kurt over each other, and a guy should not bend that way."

"I can see plenty of uses for a guy bending that way." Sebastian hummed, offering his glass for another refill.

"Let's not?" Sam leaned over Dave and jabbed Sebastian in the side. "No thinking about my boyfriend like that."

Sebastian rolled his eyes, and mimed zipping his lips.

"Didn't she say that she didn't want the acrobatics interfering with his voice?" Rachel said, crossing her arms. "I mean, whilst he's not in my class, he's still pretty stable."

"What do you think she's been working on for since she started." Puck shrugged. "I wouldn't be surprised if Kurt can dance and sing perfectly at the same time now."

"Oh thank god, it's over." Dave whispered, "I'm going outside."

"Don't go too far." Leroy called, as Finn and Sam rushed to go with him. "Dinner in an hour."

* * *

  
"Please quit Cheerleading, and do something safe like baking."

"Dude, they use a blow torch. I saw it on my mom's TV. Be a decorator, Kurt."

"Still have to be high up on ladders."

Kurt glanced at the three boys arguing about him over his head, frowning sightly. Puck noticed, and gently extricated him from the crushing hug, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. "Congratulations on the win."

"I take it they didn't appreciate the gymnastics?" Kurt asked, glancing over his shoulder as they started walking, the boys still arguing over what career would be safeist.

"I think they thought you died at one point."

"Live Coverage." Kurt pointed out, "You'd have seen."

"The team after you had a girl collapse, Kurt!" Finn cut in, putting his hands on Kurt's shoulders, as Sam slid an arm around Kurt's waist.

"You think Coach Sylvester would let us collapse?" Kurt pointed out. "She wouldn't let us do anything that would put our chances at Nationals at risk."

"You mean... The reason you're sure she won't do something dangeous is because she wants to win?" Sam asked, raising an eyebrow in obvious sarcasm. "You get why people generally do stupid and dangerous stuff in competitions right?"

"Shut it." Kurt grumbled leaning in to kiss Sam's cheek.

"Is everyone touching you going to get kissed, because I'm gonna remove my hand if they are." Finn warned.

"Relax, Finn." Kurt rolled his eyes, "You just have to carry my bags."

"... I'm not sure I won here." Finn grumbled, as he headed off towards the baggage carrousel.

"So, how was your trip?" Dave asked, smiling easily.

"Very good." Kurt grinned, "I met these boys on the plane and...."

"Please dear god, let this end well." Sam huffed, "I don't want to have to be heart broken in the airport."

"And they told me about this musical they're putting together, and showed me some of their music for it. I thought I'd put forward one of the songs for Regionals." Kurt finished pointedly.

"Damn, I thought it was going to be awesome then." Puck sighed, "Kurt Hummel. Member of the mile high club."

"Or, Kurt Hummel, cheater." Kurt pointed out. "No. Although one of the guys was giving me the eye. It was nice to see people like me for once."

"Were they a couple?" Dave asked, curiously.

"Well..." Kurt shrugged, "The singer of the two was checking out the air hostesses, so.... Maybe, maybe not."

"Hey! I'm not carrying this thing for my own benefit." Finn shouted. "And what the hell is in here? Weights?"

"Gifts." Kurt yelled back, "So shut up."

"Not your boyfriend." Finn smirked back.

"Thank god." Kurt muttered, as they started moving again. "I don't think I'm ready to be looking after a child."

Dave snorted at that. "Come on, Sebastian's driving around the block."

"Oh, I'm sure he'll have something delightfully biting to say to me." Kurt hummed thoughtfully. "I spent my flight being nice, and getting us original amazing songs, when I should have been building up a repetoir of sarcastic comments for your boyfriend."

"Be nice about Sebastian." Dave pouted, "He helped us beat the Warblers at Sectionals. He's going to help us win Regionals... And Nationals."

"You just like him because he puts his penis in you." Kurt huffed, "Same reason Sunshine and Rachel like those two louts."

"Hey!" Came a chorus of voices from Finn, Puck and Dave.

"Face it boys. You're all a little bit whipped."

"And you're not?" Puck pointed out, raising an eyebrow. "You're telling me that Sam can't tempt you into anything with those lips?"

Kurt was about to deny it, when Sam pouted at him. "Fine, okay, I'm whipped too."

"If it makes you feel any better, you have me whipped too." Sam whispered in his ear.

"It does a little." Kurt laughed, leaning into the extra contact.

"And Sebastian is so very very whipped." Puck snorted, "I mean, yesterday? He even knocked on Dave's bedroom door before walking straight in."

"Wow." Kurt deadpanned. "Progress on all fronts."

* * *

  
Kurt grinned, watching Rachel's song from the wings. His suggestion had been placed in the mid-spot that they hadn't been able to write anything else for, Despite Mercedes and Santana demanding the spot for Hell to the No, and Trouty Mouth.

Kurt grinned grabbing Sam's wrist. "You ready for this?"

"Always." Sam grinned, kissing Kurt's cheek, as Rachel trailed off, and Kurt's music started, as he dragged Sam on after him

_(Kurt)_   
_Way back before she hit the scene_   
_and she became the indie queen_   
_She was a girl with nothing big to say_

_Her mouth was full of silver spoons_   
_singing her dime a dozen tunes_   
_till she came up with something new to play_

_A girl so scarred_   
_A pain so real_   
_A life so hard_   
_Becomes a song you feel._

_Her tracks were late_   
_And all the hipsters freaked_   
_She made herself a star_

_She wants_   
_She wants_   
_She wants to be original_   
_She will_   
_She will_   
_Become something remarkable_   
_Who cares_   
_Who cares_   
_Who cares what stunt she has to pull_   
_She'll be remade as somebody Original._

_Way back before the interviews_   
_Before her music made the news_   
_She was a nothing no-one talked about._

_A mousy girl behind the mike_   
_One more Vanilla look alike_   
_Till she decided to stand out._

_And now it's crazy clothes_   
_A brand new name_   
_A fixed up nose_   
_And monster Fame!_

_Though she may say_   
_That she was Born This Way,_   
_She made herself a star!_

_She wants_   
_She wants_   
_She wants to be original_   
_She will_   
_She will_   
_Become something remarkable_   
_Who cares_   
_Who cares_   
_Who cares what stunt she has to pull_   
_She'll be remade as somebody Original_

_You can wipe away everything you are_   
_Wake up tomorrow as a Star_

_There was a girl who blended in,_   
_that was the way her life had been._   
_Till she decided to be someone else._

_She wants_   
_She wants_   
_She wants to be original_   
_She will_   
_She will_   
_Become something remarkable_   
_Who cares_   
_Who cares_   
_Who cares what stunt she has to pull_   
_She'll be remade as somebody Original_

_Somebody Original_

_Somebody Original!_

_Somebody Original!_

Kurt twisted amongst the other New Directions, playing with all of them at least once, and ending up beside Rachel, and taking her hand.

"Ladies and Gentlemen..." He started, pausing and looking at Rachel.

"We are, the New Directions."

* * *

  
"I can't believe we won." Kurt laughed, wrapping his arms around Sam's neck, as he jumped onto his back. "We won!"

"Yeah, Kurt. We won." Sam laughed, as he span slightly on the spot. "In one week, you won Nationals, and Regionals!"

Kurt grinned, kissing Sam's ear. "Both times it was a team effort, Samuel."

"Oh, fine." Sam sighed, dropping Kurt to the ground. "Then no Celebration for you."

"Hey, I didn't say I didn't want to celebrate." Kurt whined. "We can celebrate!"

"Maybe, but..." Sam smirked, "See, Finn brought Rachel over to hang out, and he was told they had to stay in the front room. So, now he's holding your bedroom randsom."

"Well, I'm sure we can find somewhere else." Kurt grinned, sliding his hand into Sam's back pocket. "I mean, there's my car for one."

"You want me to give you a blowjob in your car?" Sam asked, not caring about the people walking past them in the school corridor. "What are we? Horny Teenagers?"

"One of us is at least." Kurt growled.

Sam laughed, and was about to agree, when a water balloon splattered all over the floor a few feet away. He turned at the same time as Kurt, to catch Coach Sylvester holding a bucket full of them.

"Porcelin, since you helped be win Nationals, I gave you a warning shot. I'm going to chase Blondie with these water balloons for beating my Oral Intensity at Regionals. If you run in a different direction, I won't chase you."

Kurt blinked at her for a moment. "Okay, first off, your team was Aural Intensity, not Oral. Second, you failed, so.... Why attack us?"

"Because I like to win." Sue shrugged.

Kurt sighed and stepped in front of Sam. "I'm not running a different way."

Sue frowned, and grabbed a new balloon, hefting it in her hand. "You're sure?"

"I'm sure." Kurt said, reaching behind himself to take Sam's hand.

Sue threw the balloon, and Kurt winced as it hit him in the chest, soaking his cheerio uniform top, before he looked up and watched Sue again.

"Well... You've taken all the fun out of this, Lady." Sue sighed, dropping the bucket. "I hope you and your amphibious boyfriend are proud of yourselves."

"I am." Kurt smiled, "And thank you for taking me to Nationals."

"Whatever." Sue grunted, storming away, shoving a student as she passed.

"You okay, Kurt?" Sam asked, gently patting his shoulder.

"I'm freezing." Kurt muttered, turning to look at Sam. "Also? You're totally making that up to me some day."

"I put up with you day to day. I think that should count."

"Wow, you're really trying to lose a boyfriend, aren't you?" Kurt hummed, leaning in and kissing Sam's lips. "I'm going to go get changed. I'll see you at the end of the day, alright?"

"Yeah." Sam grinned dopely, "I love you."

"I love you too."

 


	20. A Night of Neglect/Born this Way

** A Night of Neglect/Born this Way **

 

Kurt felt like his lungs were trying to fight there way out of his body, via his throat and forehead. He let out a hacking cough, and wrapped himself further into his blankets.

 

"Poor Baby." Sam grinned dabbing at Kurt's forehead with a damp cloth.

 

"You like me weak." Kurt grunted, "I'm going to warn Finn in case I'm found dead one day."

 

"Finn'd forget, honey." Sam laughed, making Kurt wince. "I'm not going to kill you."

 

"Then why do you keep talking to me?"

 

"Because when I tried to leave you begged me to stay?" Sam pointed out. "And as much as I love you, I'm not sitting here in silence."

 

"Terrible boyfriend."

 

"Well, it's only you and Sebastian and Dave who are sick, so..."

 

"Because Dave was stupid enough to try Sebastian's fish salad thing." Kurt muttered.

 

"And you?"

 

"I never said I wasn't stupid." Kurt muttered, "I didn't want to eat the steak monstrosity you all were eating."

 

Sam sighed, collapsing onto the bed. "Hopefully your stomach will settle soon."

 

"I hope so." Kurt sighed. "Guess the three of us will be missing the Night of Neglect though."

 

"Maybe." Sam shrugged, "You can come and support us?"

 

"Oh, we will. Me, and Sebastian and Dave, and everyone's parents." Kurt grinned, "Even if you all decided not to tell them."

 

"This is your revenge for the talking isn't it?" 

 

"Yep." Kurt grinned, turning to Sam. 

 

"Awesome."

 

* * *

 

 

"And I've seen you make out with him there. And there." Kurt grumbled, gesturing to the rooms they passed. "You know to say you're trying to be subtle? I've seen you making out with each other a lot."

 

"Maybe we're just trying to hint at something for you and Samuel." Sebastian sighed, pulling out a small mirror. "That there is more to sex that kissing and blow-jobs."

 

Kurt slapped Sebastian's arm with a small glare. "Me and Sam are moving at our own pace. When we feel it's right to go further? We will." 

 

"Oh good god, please don't do it the night before Nationals." Sarcasm laced Sebastian's words, "How pedestrian."

 

"Guys, can we talk about anything else?" Dave grumbled, "You know I hate talking about this stuff in school."

 

"See, I'd heard that there were fags in the corridor after hours, without their football playing boyfriends, but I though, N'aww they ain't that stupid." 

 

Kurt could see Dave's shoulder's tense, even if the words weren't aimed at him. "Azimo. How lovely to see you." Kurt said, turning. "Didn't you learn your lesson from what I did to your little Kicker friend?"

 

"Yeah, not to give you a clear shot at my nuts." Azimo sneered. "Still can't fight like a man."

 

"I'm sure my boyfriend thinks there is lots of things I can do 'like a man'." Kurt sneered.

 

"Actually..." Sebastian hummed, smirking.

 

"Really? You're going to mock me about that now?" Kurt hissed, watching as Sebastian shrugged.

 

"Anyway, I ain't here to talk to you fags. K, what're you doing bro?" Azimo crossed his arms. "Look, we can... We can ignore the Glee Club thing. And Evans is a part of the football team and had that thing with Santana so he's not completely irredeamable. But... these two, man?"

 

"I think the number of cocks Sam has had in his mouth would make him pretty irredeamable in your eyes." Sebastian pointed out.

 

"Like Evans blows Hummel. I bet the fairy doesn't even have a cock."

 

"Dude, don't talk about Kurt like that." Dave muttered stepping in front of the other two. 

 

"Hey, I don't really want to talk about him either." Azimo held his hands up for a moment before he gestured at Sebastian. "It's the tall one!"

 

"Why does everyone think you're so tall?!" Kurt snapped, crossing his arms. "It's the hair isn't it?"

 

"Probably." Sebastian grinned, "I grew it myself."

 

"I'm going to have to gel mine straight up." Kurt grumbled.

 

"What do you want to talk about Sebastian." Dave grunted, raising his chin defensively/

 

"Dude, you're ALWAYS with him. We see you hanging out with him in public, and inbetween classes." Azimo shuffled uncomfortably. "The guys are starting to joke he's your boyfriend."

 

Dave twitched, and Kurt and Sebastian grabbed an arm each as he almost launched forward. "David, Calm down!" Kurt shouted, pulling Dave back. 

 

"You are, aren't you?" Azimo asked, "You're a fag!"

 

"I...I..." Dave spluttered, looking at Sebastian for help.

 

"Oh, wait until I tell the guys about this. You're gonna wish you were dead." Azimo sneered, slamming past the group, and walking towards the exit.

 

"Dave, are you okay?" Kurt whispered, turning to the boy. 

 

"I.... Fuck." Dave whispered, walking a little way away.

 

"Well, it could have been a little more dramatic." Sebastian hummed.

 

"Don't make this a fucking joke, Sebastian." Dave snapped, "I'm not.... This isn't... It isn't a joke!"

 

"I know. Jokes are funny." Sebastian muttered, "Do you hear me laughing?"

 

"Just... Fuck off!" Dave snapped, turning around and shoving Sebastian. "This is all your fault!"

 

"Dave, you don't mean that." Kurt said quickly, stepping between them.

 

"He's the one who blackmailed me, and then made me... feel things." Dave hissed. "I could have hid this for a few more years."

 

"After killing me?" Kurt said quietly. "Or running me out of school." 

 

Dave looked between the two of them, shaking his head before he stormed out of the building.

 

* * *

 

 

"Okay guys, We're a couple of members down, but we need to carry on." Mr. Shuester grinned. "Sebastian sends his regards, but he had to attend a wedding on a private yacht, and Dave is ill."

 

Kurt sighed, glancing at Finn and Sam on either side who shrugged. "So, what're we doing this week?"

 

"I'm glad you asked." Mr. Shuester clapped his hands. "It's booty camp time, guys." 

 

Kurt rolled his eyes, grinning at Sam who was already pulling an exagerated pose. 

 

"Okay, 5, 6, 7, 8!" 

 

Kurt started swaying immediately, watching a couple of people have a false start, including Finn, who went the wrong way, and too fast. "Finn, slow..."

 

Finn looked up, swinging to look at Kurt, and throwing his arm out as if to mirror Sam's stature, both arms outstretched. 

 

The sickening crack made everyone stop on the spot. Rachel stepped back, holding her nose, whilst Kurt fell to the ground, suddenly dizzy. 

 

"Kurt, are you okay?" Sam said dropping to his knees as people crowded around them.

 

"My face is bleeding isn't it." Kurt muttered quietly. 

 

"Yeah. Rachel's too." 

 

Kurt looked up, glaring at Finn. "You're sleeping on the couch tonight."

 

"We need to get you guys to a doctor." Mr. Shuester said. "Finn, Puck, help Rachel. Mike, Sam, You're with Kurt. I need to go inform the office, but you lot get them to the hospital."

 

Kurt slowly climed to his feet, letting Sam and Mike guide him to Mike's car. "Is Rachel okay?"

 

"You're worried about Rachel?" Sam asked, climbing into the back seat with him, whilst Mike drove.

 

"Well, I know how bad I feel. And if we're both out of Nationals... Then you're all screwed."

 

"Nice." Mike snorted. "Sam, you should text his dad."

 

"Yeah, right." Sam muttered, grabbing his phone. "Kurt? Want me to tell him anything specifically?"

 

"That Finn is in so much trouble." Kurt grumbled, "But I'm pretty sure Rachel's worse." 

 

"Okay." Sam hummed, sliding his hand into Kurts as he typed. "You're going to be fine."

 

"I know." Kurt tried to smile, but instead winced.

 

* * *

 

 

_Should just kill yourself_

_Faggot_

_Wasn't the closet big enough for you, fat-ass._

_Can't believe I hung out with you._

 

Dave glanced as the messages on his wall, watching more and more add up. Burt had called up that he was heading out, and now Dave was sat alone, watching his world collapse around him. His thoughts were slowly turning darker, about how right all those messages were. How he didn't deserve to live anymore with all of this going on. 

 

He was about to try ringing Kurt again, when his bedroom door burst open and Mercedes Jones stood holding a key. 

 

"Tina, computer. Sunshine, Quinn, go make some tea. Brittany, Santana... Downstairs somewhere." Mercedes said imperiously as she grabbed his phone out of his hand. "You, Dave, are about to get the Jones treatment."

 

"What the hells going on." Dave snapped as Tina snatched his computer out from underneath his nose, tutting.

 

"Well, since you added me on Facebook, I could see all the posts on your wall, and I knew that the private messages would be worse. So, here we are, to take your mind of it." Mercedes gestured. "Since that boyfriend of yours isn't here."

 

"It's his fault."

 

"Uh, no? It's the homophobes of the school." Mercedes corrected, yanking the pillow off his head when he tried to hide beneath it. "Now, you can put on a shirt and come downstairs, or come downstairs shirtless, your choice."

 

"No-one wants to see me shirtless." Dave grunted, "So I guess I'm not coming down."

 

"Hey, don't put words in our mouthes." Tina glanced over him with a small smirk, "In fact, I need some words with your boyfriend and mine."

 

Dave stared at her for a long few minutes, trying to work out if she was mocking him. "What?"

 

"Face it, you're kind of hot." Tina shrugged. "I mean, you hide it under all those baggy clothes, and you kind of let yourself go during the off seasons of Football, but you've got this manly quality, that I bet a lot of guys would be into."

 

"Please don't talk to anyone's boyfriend about this." Dave muttered. "Sorry, but I'm not interested in your...."

 

Tina waited for a long moment, as he grasped for a word, before sighing and offering, "Vagina?" 

 

"Yeah." Dave winced at the world. 

 

"Oh, you are so gay." Tina laughed, jumping up onto the bed. "And god, being closeted must've been hell if you can't even talk about the parts of a woman's anatomy."

 

Dave frowned at the girl, "Why're you doing this?"

 

"Because you're our friend?" Mercedes pointed out. "I mean, we don't talk much, but we're still here for you."

 

"Where's Kurt and Finn and Sam?"

 

"Hospital." Tina rolled her eyes. "Apparently? Finn's dancing can hurt more than your eyes."

 

"Who got hurt?"

 

"Rachel and Kurt." Mercedes frowned, "Kurt's fine, just a little disorientated, and stuff. Rachel has a clean break on her nose." 

 

"Ouch." Dave hissed, remembering his first broken nose. "Why aren't they back yet?"

 

"Because Kurt and Finn are trying to talk her out of getting a nose job." Santana muttered from the doorframe. "We found these, and they're obviously not Kurt's or Sam's snacks, since they're health freaks so we thought you'd want them." She threw him the bag of cookies, giving him a once over. "Don't go doing anything stupid, David."

 

Dave sighed, opening the cookies and grabbing one and stuffing it in his mouth so that he wouldn't have to speak.

 

"Q says that the tea is ready." Santana grumbled, turning her attention to Mercedes.

 

Tina glanced at her phone grinning. "Mike's on his way here. Sam wanted to stay with Kurt, and Kurt, Finn and Puck are still getting Rachel to change her mind."

 

"Chang's coming?" Dave glanced over frowning. "What is this some kind of social event?"

 

"Could be...." Mercedes pondered, "We'd have to ask Mr. Hummel first, though."

 

"I was being sarcastic."

 

"I wasn't." Mercedes grinned, grabbing her phone. "I'll ring him, Tina, try and convince him to shirt up and come downstairs."

 

"I have the perfect song!" Tina said enthusiastically, snickering when Dave's eyes went wide. "Joking! Not everything we do is musical you know?"

 

"I was starting to wonder." Dave muttered. "Why do you all care?"

 

"About people bullying you?" Tina asked, "Because we've all been there, Dave. We know how dark it can get and how much you need a friend in that time. The worst time to get slushied, is when you're all alone, because you can start to feel like you deserve it." 

 

Dave ducked his head, making it very obvious that she had hit it on the nerve completely. 

 

"So, come on. As much as I hate to lose this wonderful visual, You don't want to miss Quinn's tea." Tina laughed, "So... Shirt up, David."

 

Dave let himself be lead easily through getting dressed and collapsing onto the couch with the girls.

 

"So, since only half the prudes are here." Santana said, glancing at Quinn, "We're going to play some party games."

 

"No drinking." Mercedes said quickly. 

 

"Okay, Fuck, Marry, Kill." Santana grinned. "Tina.... Mike, Kurt and Sam."

 

"Oh, totally too easy." Tina snorted. "Fuck Mike, Kill Sam and Marry Kurt."

 

"He'd make sure you were dressed fabulously every day." Sunshine snorted. 

 

"Okay, Sunshine." Tina smirked, "Puckerman, Finn and Sam."

 

Sunshine paused, frowning hard in thought. "Marry Puckerman, cause... you know, sex every night. Fuck Sam, and Kill Finn. Mercedes.... Sam, Finn and Kurt."

 

"Fuck Finn, Marry Sam and Kill Kurt." Mercedes shrugged, "Dave.... Finn, Sam and Puck." 

 

"Wait what?" Dave blinked glancing around the room, "Who said I was playing?"

 

"Everyone is playing, now answer." Quinn gestured.

 

"Uh...." Dave glanced at his feet. ".... Do Sam, I guess."

 

"Why?" Brittany asked curiously. "Is it because his backside looks deliceous?"

 

Dave blinked, looking up. "What?"

 

"I'm sorry Dave, but you're one of the girls now." Tina pat his hand gently. "You're about to discover the things that every straight guy is terrified is true. Starting with.... So, Santana, you had that week with Sam. Was it big?"

 

"Hey, I ground on him at the party, that was it." Santana held up her hands in defence and then shrugged. "Not a Finn, but Puckerman class."

 

"Oh, god." Dave mumbled, his face going white. "There are classes?"

 

"She means in the general vicinity." Mercedes asured, patting his head like he was the one who was crazy for finding this disturbing.

 

"Hey, you share a house with all three of them, Kurt, Sam and Finn. You can tell us!" Santana pointed with a smirk.

 

"We don't all walk around with erections!" Dave whined, glancing at the window. "When'll Mike be here?"

 

"Oh, poor baby." Tina snorted, "You think Mike'll save you? The only change will be that we don't discuss Mike's unless he brings it up." 

 

Dave gave a soft whine again, sinking back into the couch. Quinn took pity and pushed a cup of tea towards him. "When did Mike start.... Joining in."

 

"When he finally admitted to himself that Kurt was very attractive for a guy." Tina smirked, "Now we have him sitting quietly, and joining in when he feels comfortable. Soon he'll be ready for his first threesome."

 

"The way you play that boy is criminal." Sunshine smirked, "He's just a guy. He isn't as smart as us."

 

"Wait, aren't .... Isn't Kurt just a guy too?" Dave asked, frowning.

 

"Oh, no. We've done extensive testing." Santana smirked. "Boys who are completely gay? have a little spark of Women's power."

 

"Which we totally need to test with you." Tina joined in the smirking. "Which we'll test with Mike."

 

"I don't want to sleep with Mike." Dave said quick. "I mean, he could be amazing and anything, but I might have a boyfriend and..."

 

"Might?"

 

Dave froze, glancing at Quinn who was looking at him with eagle eyes. "Uh..."

 

"What's going on with Sebastian, David." Mercedes came in. "Did he hurt you? Because we can hurt him."

 

"I have a lot of pent-up post pregnancy anger that I've been meaning to aim at someone soon." Quinn offered, crossing her arms. "I was planning on beating on Santana when we got closer to Prom..."

 

"Hey!" Santana crossed her arms. "I've been nice!"

 

"You've been quiet. It's worrying." Quinn muttered.

 

"I shouted at him and shoved him, and now we're not talking." 

 

The girls watched Dave for a long moment, before crowding him in. "What happened? Is this how Azimo found out?"

 

Dave quick relayed the story of what had happened, with the appropriate reactions from the girls, until he finally admitted what was going on upstairs. 

 

"Maybe I deserve it... My mom said I had a disease, and they all... I mean, Kurt and Sebastian are gay, and they're happy with it... but I can't be happy with it all the time, and I can't be straight."

 

"Why can't you be happy?" Sunshine asked quietly, stroking his back.

 

"Because I'm not a good gay, am I?" Dave gestured. "I'm fat and I don't like fasion or musicals. I can't even be a good boyfriend!"

 

"Okay, A) None of those things make you gay." Santana held up a finger, and for a minute Dave's brain stalled because she was alphabitising but also numbering. "B) You're not fat! You're ... okay, you're a little on the husky side, but I know for a fact that most of that is muscle." 

 

"How do you know for a fact?" Quinn asked, curiously. 

 

"Mercedes and Tina have Kurt? I has Sebastian. And he raves about Dave here. How sweet he is, and how he's so amazing. Seriously, I just wanted to gag him sometimes, but that should be Dave's job."

 

The girls shrugged and nodded, glancing at Dave and then Santana speculatively. "How... Informative was Sebastian?" Tina asked, curiously, glancing at Dave.

 

"Very."

 

Dave glanced up, glaring a little. "No way, you're not discussing me without be here!"

 

"Then you're going to have to be stuck to Santana like glue. We have ways." Mercedes smirked, petting his head again. "Okay, so... Dave. Fuck marry kill, Finn, Puck and Sam."

 

"Do Sam."

 

"Because his..."

 

"Yes Brittany, because he has a very nice ass." Dave rolled his eyes.

 

"See," Sunshine laughed, "That's what makes you gay. You want all up in Blondie's butt."

 

"Must be terrible having to bottom for Sebastian, when you want to do that butt."  Santana snorted

 

"Can we stop calling it a butt?" Dave begged, "It starting to sound like it's not a word."

 

"Okay, so Do Sam's ass, Marry and Kill?"

 

"Marry..... Finn." Dave nodded. "I've lived with him, I know I can deal."

 

"You'd kill my boyfriend." Sunshine pouted. "Just because Finn has the bigger dick."

 

"What? No!" Dave looked scandalised. "Why would you... Why?"

 

"You're the one who bottoms." Santanna shrugged. "I know that Puck gets to be a bit of a size queen when we use the strap on."

 

"Aaaand there's the mental image I spend most days forgetting, all over again." Mercedes grumbled, squeezing her eyes shut. "Thanks for that."

 

"Hey, if Puck and Mike both..." Tina started, but cut off when Mike walked through the door. "Never mind, new topic."

 

"Seriously? Haven't you already told them everything about me now?" Mike grumbled, collapsing into the seat next to Dave, offering his fist to bump. Dave just sat there silently, staring at Mike. "Okay, who traumatised Dave?"

 

"Nobody."

 

"Santana, Tina, the whole situtation generally." Dave grumbled. "Apparently, the facts about my body are about to be leaked to the Glee Club, Via Santana, Via Sebastian."

 

"Hey, I took mine as a confidence boost." Mike grinned, winking at Tina. "Best Abs in the Glee Club."

 

"I'm sure Sam cries to himself at night." Dave muttered under his breath frowning. Of course, every guy in Glee Club has something going for them. Finn had his apparently huge dick, Mike had his abs. Puckerman his guns, Sam had his ass. Kurt was really pretty, and Sebastian had that fucking sexy smirk, and what did he have?

 

"Dude, is that seriously how you think?" Mike asked frowning. "You think that we're all some kind of amazingly perfect group, and you're some frankenstein monster made of sub-standard parts?"

 

Dave glanced up, looking at the people in the room. "What?"

 

"You said that outloud." Sunshine frowned, "And it's super worrying."

 

"Well.. It's true." Dave shrugged. "I mean, look at me. I'm never going to be the perfect gay boy."

 

"There's no such thing." Tina muttered. "Your sexuality doesn't impact you as a person. And I already told you that I think you're hot."

 

"Yeah, I'm okay for a straight guy." Dave muttered.

 

The girls glanced amongst themselves for a minute, trying to work out what to say. It was Mike who spoke next though. 

 

"You're hot."

 

Dave snorted, "You're straight."

 

"Ish." Mike shrugged, "But yeah. Dude, you totally have it going for you. You're manly, and strong, but you totally care about people too. A little too much, if you're letting what those idiots say about you get to you like this."

 

"But I'm not... I don't have anything going for me. Nobody wants a manly gay!"

 

"Sam and Puck'll be crushed." Quinn snarked from across from him, pushing more tea his way.

 

"No, I mean, yeah there are manly gay guys, but they're... The manly ones, you know? The ones who work on cars and kill things, and do the fucking."

 

"Uh.... You know Kurt does two of those things, and he can out woman most of the people sat here on a good day." Santana gestured to the group. "And Puck and Sam both receive?"

 

Dave shrugged. "Guess it's just me then."

 

"Bullcrap." Santana rolled her eyes. "Stop throwing such a pity party. Do we need to get some guys in here to sex you up, and remind you you're a hot commodity?"

 

Dave shrugged, shrinking back into his seat.

 

* * *

 

 

"Dave."

 

David glanced up at the boy in front of him. "Sebastian. I thought you were on your yacht."

 

"Totally a cover story. Wasn't sure how to handle face you." Sebastian crossed his arms, "I'm sorry I tried to make light of what was happening with you, and I'm sorry that I've forced you out of the closet."

 

"No, Sebastian. I'm sorry I shoved you, and blamed you...." Dave sighed, gesturing to the seat next to him. "Look... I've been in a really dark place all week. And the New Directions haven't left me alone for a minute of it. Seriously, I've had to deal with Sam clinging to me at night, Finn awkwardly lurking outside the bathroom, when I'm in there. It's been so strange." 

 

"Because of what they said?"

 

"Yeah.... and things I just know, Sebastian." Dave shrugged. "I know it isn't wrong to be gay, but.... I don't feel like I'm attractive or strong enough to be gay. Not like you and Kurt." 

 

"You think I'm strong?" Sebastian asked quietly, sliding his hand into Dave's. "Feel that? You could break me in half if you wanted to."

 

"That's not the strength..."

 

"Did it sound like I was finished?" Sebastian said sarcastically, before he caught himself. "See.... You can do stuff I can never see myself doing. Being strong enough to keep spending with people you know would hate you. Being strong enough not to say the mean things I know you think sometimes. Strong enough to give up control of your body to me."

 

"But it's not like I let you tie me down or something." Dave grunted, "I just lie there."

 

"Okay, you do not just lie there. You make the hottest noises and little jerks I've ever seen." Sebastian grinned, "But you let me. You put aside all that hot manliness, for my pleasure. If you asked me to do that? I'd fight it every step of the way. I'd be belligerent, and I'd insist I didn't enjoy it. But for you, it's as easy as breathing. Because you're so strong."

 

Dave sighed, ducking his head. "It just... I can't see it."

 

"I can't see how I'm strong." Sebastian shrugged, "And I can't see how Hummel is attractive. Me? I'm gorgeous. But we both know that."

 

"I've been so scared about coming back to school. What're people going to say, or do, you know?"

 

"I do. I had the same reaction when I came out. And I didn't have the New Directions. I just had myself. So I learnt how to push people away. But you've only made more close friends, since you came out. You need people around you, even I can see that. So... Surround yourself with the New Directions."

 

"They won't appreciate a person like me crowding them." Dave sighed. 

 

"From what I understand, they appreciate a lot. Santana was telling me how you made out with Mike and Finn at Kurt's house?"

 

"Oh god! It was spin the bottle." Dave groaned.

 

"Is it as gross to kiss Finn as Santana said?" Sebastian asked curiously.

 

"... No. He's not exactly great, but he knows what he wants and how to get it." Dave admitted, souding a little shy. "Mike was way too .... passive. At least Finn put some effort in."

 

"Should I be jealous?" Sebastian grinned, "or do I use this as an opportunity to try Finn out myself."

 

Dave frowned, "I suppose you could. I know he's hotter."

 

"What? No way. He has weird nipples. You can see them under his shirt sometimes, and they look like if you squeezed hard enough he'd start to lactate." Sebastian grinned, "You know who I think is the second hottest guy in the Glee Club?"

 

"Sam?"

 

"You." Sebastian sighed. "After me, of course, but since I can't date myself, I'll only settle for the best. So... Can I walk you to your car?"

 

"I was going to wait until I was sure everyone was gone."

 

Sebastian grinned, wrapping an arm around Dave. "Fine. I'll just stay here with you. Santana says she can't tell me the gossip that happens in the group, so.... What did they talk about?"

 

Dave smiled softly leaning into the touch. This... This was close to perfect. And Sebastian obviously saw something in him.

 

Maybe he couldn't be strong for himself.

 

But he could be strong for Sebastian.

 


	21. Rumors

**Rumors**

 

The school was awash with gossip from the true (Dave and Sebastian dating), to the lies (Kurt and Sam had eloped), to the ridiculous, (Puck had got Kurt pregnant, and that was why they were friends)

 

"Where do they think I keep the baby?" Kurt muttered, as he closed his locker, and glanced at his boyfriend who was engrossed in the magazine. 

 

"According to this? In a sweatshop, making knock off fashion items for you to wear." Sam hummed, turning the page. "Hey, did you know Strando was caught alone in the janitors closet, having some personal time?"

 

"Scandalous," Kurt snorted, grabbing the magazine. "Why're you still reading that rag?"

 

"Dude, it's like really bad fanfiction." Sam laughed, trying to grab it back. "I want to read more about our wedding!"

 

"Wait, did you two elope?" Finn grinned as he bounced up behind them. "Because I've been working on my best man speech for months!"

 

"Who says you're either of our best men?" Kurt snorted, glancing at Finn. "I'm asking Puck. He's known me longer."

 

"Then, come on dude." Finn pouted at Sam. "I'll make an awesome best man!"

 

Sam rolled his eyes, glancing at Kurt. "Tell me what's in your speech so far then?"

 

"Right... Uh.... Kurt and Sam are my favorite gay couple, because they love each other so much." Finn frowned thinking. "They're also the only teenage ones who haven't had sex on my bed yet." 

 

Kurt snorted, reaching up and punching Finn's arm. "That's it. You're giving no speeches at our theoretical wedding!"

 

"Can I still have theoretical cake?" Finn asked, pouting. 

 

"All the theoretical cake you can imagine." Sam grinned, "And who knows, at our theoretical split bachelor parties...."

 

"Oh god, when you get married there's going to be male strippers aren't they?" Finn sighed, "Can I at least get some say, so I don't scratch my eyes out."

 

"I dunno Finn. You have to come both of mine, and I like guys like Sam. So...." Kurt gestured, smirking.

 

"I can deal with that." Finn laughed, "Don't you remember mine and Sam's evil plot for next year."

 

"Ah, yes. Date each other, and become the star Quarterbacks in love." Kurt rolled his eyes. "And what about the two times Nationals winning, Head Cheerleader."

 

"Polygamy." Finn nodded, "The only way dude. All three of us. I can learn how to be gay. From what I can tell, I just need to like getting head."

 

"Hey, I give head too." Kurt muttered, crossing his arms. "Sam, he's making me sound selfish."

 

"Well, I wasn't going to say anything..." Sam said quietly, forcing himself not to grin.

 

"I'd totally give better head than Kurt." Finn said, unable to contain his own smirk. "I can swallow a whole hotdogs!"

 

"Sam is a little bigger than a hotdogs, Finn." Kurt grumbled. "Fine, I'm selfish. Why do you bother putting up with me?"

 

"Because I love you." Sam said quietly, kissing Kurt's cheek.

 

"And I love you too." Kurt sighed, kissing Sam's.

 

"And I love you both." Finn said, before rolling his eyes when Jacob Ben Israel popped out from behind them holding up his microphone. "No, that wasn't an admission of me cheating on Rachel with Sam and/or Kurt. Screw off Jacob."

 

* * *

 

 Kurt was laughing, as Sam kissed at his neck lightly, and Finn and Rachel were engrossed in discussing the chances of them singing at Nationals, and Puck and Sunshine were having a quiet argument about something Puck had said. What he didn't expect was for Coach Sylvester to walk into the room, holding a small box full of magazines.

 

"Okay, Degenerates. I've decided that I'm going to do you all a big favor, and let you see the next issue of the Mudraker." She said, smirking dropping the box on the floor. "And by next issue, I'm telling you that the Cheerios are already going from classroom to classroom handing them out. Enjoy." 

 

Kurt was already on his feet, moving to grab a magazine.

 

"Thought you said it was a rag?" Sam asked, reading over Kurt's shoulder as Kurt dropped back onto his knee. 

 

"There was just something about how she...."

 

"This is bullshit!" Finn hissed, jumping to his feet as he read an article. "It's...."

 

"Dude, you've been sharing a bed with Kurt?" Mike glanced up, smirking. "I thought it was like... A sleeping bag situation."

 

"How the hell do they know about this?" Finn snapped, glaring at Kurt and Sam.

 

"I haven't told anyone!" Kurt insisted, "I knew you'd freak out. The only people who knew were me, Sam and Dave."

 

"And Sebastian." Dave said quietly. "He was there when we sorted out the sleeping arrangements."

 

"And I might have mentioned it to Santana." Sebastian sighed, shrugging, "I didn't think it was that big of a deal." 

 

"Dave bottoms." Tina hummed, "Which, we all knew, but where's my money, Finn!"

 

"Mike and Dave made out?" Artie glanced up, frowning. "Okay, is everyone experimenting but me here?"

 

"Kurt is blue balling Sam...." Rachel frowned, "Is it just me, or are all of these private conversations we've had in this room?"

 

Kurt glanced up, and then in horror, looked around the room. "You're right. I was talking to David just yesterday about how there's no shame in bottoming and..."

 

"And I told Santana in here." Sebastian frowned. "The room is bugged?"

 

"It's Coach Sylvester. I'm surprised she hasn't just bugged all the students." Quinn sighed.

 

"That's super weird, because Coach Sylvester asked me to put these little things in the choir room. She said that they would get rid off any insects in the room." Brittany smiled, tilting her head. 

 

"Okay, we've been bugged." Puck grunted, "And let's all just take a few minutes to appreciate how creepy that is."

 

"She knew about me and Sam...." Kurt frowned, "And Dave and Sebastian."

 

"Guys, what're we going to do?" Mike muttered, frowning. "You heard her, they've passed out all of these magazines."

 

"We keep our heads up and..."

 

"Ha! I was right!" Sebastian gave a short fist pump, and then glanced at Finn appreciatively. "Hello, Mr. Hudson."

 

"Oh god." Dave turned a little green. "That's got to be against the rules."

 

"It's not actually a school magazine. I don't know what the laws are." Rachel frowned.

 

"Guys we can't let this get to us." Kurt said sharply, standing up.

 

"But Kurt... This is all true! No embellishments, or exaggerations.... Shut up, Sebastian!" Finn made a rude gesture in the direction of the boy who was staring very pointedly. "How are we supposed to argue that?"

 

"We don't." Kurt shrugged. "These are all secrets, yes, but they don't change who we are. I say, we start traveling in groups to avoid being ganged up on when we're alone, and just wait it out."

 

"Wait it out?" Santana snorted, "That's your plan?"

 

"Coach Sylvester is trying to get us to implode before we get anywhere near Nationals. So... From now on? We only talk about private stuff at our own houses, that Coach Sylvester has never been to. Brittany, you need to tell us if you've put a bug in anyone else's house."  Kurt crossed his arms. "Remember, groups are the name of the game."

 

"Like that ever stopped them before." Finn grumbled.

 

"Maybe we can just beat them to death with your club." Sebastian smirked, glancing at Santana. "No wonder it wasn't great."

 

"Okay, can I kill him?" Finn asked, holding up a hand. 

 

"No."

 

 

* * *

 

 

"So... Uh.... Have anything you want to admit now that I'm going to know?" Sam asked as they laid on the bed, the magazine on the bed in front of them. 

 

"Myself and Finn have slowly been introducing some of his clothes into your bag of stuff to increase your wardrobe." Kurt nodded, "I think that your breath smells awful after Cool Ranch Doritoes. I had a very awkward fantasy about you in those gold shorts, that I told Puck about. And.... I was going to go all the way on Prom Night."

 

Sam nodded slowly, nudging the magazine. "Then... In the spirit of coming clean? I was going to invite you to prom tomorrow, with a musical number. I walked in on Dave and Sebastian in the shower, and got a little turned on. And.... I think that's about it."

 

"Okay then." Kurt nodded, nudging the magazine again. "You know ethically, we shouldn't read this. It has a lot of our friends private secrets in here." 

 

"You two having the moral dilemma too?" Dave asked, as he stomped down the stairs. "Cause I just caught Finn in his old bedroom going through the magazine sentence by sentence."

 

"Guess we can too then." Kurt grinned, opening the magazine. "Want to join us, whilst we very quietly judge each other and ourselves?"

 

"... Yeah. I don't really want to be alone right now. Is that weird?"

 

"No, I get it." Sam nodded. "Come on, why don't we sit on the bed, and Kurt'll read it to us."

 

Dave nodded, shuffling up the bed, "I'm not looking forward to what people are going to do to us."

 

"You mean because everyone now has 'proof' that you've been making out with boys and taking it?" Sam asked, rolling his eyes. "Dude, everyone assumes I take it because of my mouth. I put up with it everyday in the locker room. So, in the nicest way possible? Man up. Stop letting what all these freaks around you think decide how you think about yourself."

 

"Okay, so starting at a random page...." Kurt hummed, flipping open the page. "The illusive mating habits of the Chang-Cohen-Changs."

 

"Did you know that Tina puts things inside him?" Dave asked quietly. 

 

"No way!" Sam grinned.

 

"I did." Kurt shrugged, "It's part of our master plan." 

 

* * *

 

**_(Sam)_ **

_I've got the question, I've had it for days_

**_(Kurt)_ **

_I have the answer dear._

**_(Sam)_ **

_I'll put the question, in one simple phrase._

**_(Kurt)_ **

_I'll say what you want to hear_

**_(Sam)_ **

_Who do you love, I hope_

_Who would you kiss, I hope_

_Who is it going to be!_

_I hope, I hope, I hope it's me_

**_(Kurt)_ **

_Who do you want, I hope_

_Who do you need, I hope_

_Who is it going to be!_

_I hope, I hope. I hope it's me!_

**_(Sam)_ **

_Is it the baker who gave you a cake_

_I saw that look in his eye!_

_Is it the butcher who brought you a steak_

_Say that it is and I'll die!_

_Who do you love, I hope_

**_(Kurt)_ **

_Who would you kiss, I hope_

**_(Sam & Kurt) _ **

_Who is it going to be!_

_I hope, I hope, I hope it's me!_

**_(Kurt)_ **

_Is it the blondie who acted so shy?_

_I heard the things that she said!_

_Is it the redhead, who gave you the eye?_

_Say that it is and you're dead!_

_Who do you love_

**_(Sam)_ **

_I hope_

**_(Kurt)_ **

_Who would you kiss_

**_(Sam)_ **

_I hope_

**_(Kurt)_ **

_Who is it going to be!_

**_(Sam)_ **

_I hope_

**_(Kurt)_ **

_I hope_

**_(Sam & Kurt)_ **

_I hope, I hope, I hope it's me!_

"So, Kurt Elizabeth Hummel, Will you take me to prom?" Same asked, grinning as the Glee Club applauded them. "I promise I'll let you dress me however you like."

 

"Wow, well, with an offer like that..." Kurt mock pondered his decision for a moment, watching as Sam's face turned nervous. "Of course I'll take you."

 

"Wait, does that mean Sam'll be wearing the dress?" Brittany asked, resting her head on Santana's shoulder.

 

"Please, no." Dave covered his eyes, wincing. "The mental images alone...."

 

"Yeah, there's only ywo guys hgere who could pull off a dress." Puck smirked, "And that's Hummel and Smythe." 

 

"Thinking of me in a dress, Puckerman?" Sebastian gave an exaggerated wink, and then blew a kiss at the boy.

 

"Maybe I should look into Kilts." Kurt thought aloud. Sam gave an exaggerated shudder, making Kurt sigh. "For me, Blondie."

 

"Oh... Yeah, cool."

 

"I'm taking Finn, Until the announcement is made." Quinn hummed out loud, smiling warmly at Rachel.

 

"I'm taking my favorite gays." Santana gestured to the two boys. "What about you, Hobbit?"

 

Rachel frowned, looking around. "Noah?"

 

"Sunshine." Puck shrugged. "Why not group up with Mercedes, until Finn drops the prom queen for you?"

 

"Mercedes?" Rachel asked, glancing at the girl. 

 

"I'm good with that." Mercedes grinned.

 

"So what're we singing at Prom?" Sebastian asked, looking around the room for suggestion.

 

"We should sing Push It." Kurt laughed, watching the horror set in on everyone's faces, bar Sunshine, Sam and Sebastian.

 

"You sang Push It?" Sunshine asked Puck, but he shook his head pointing at Kurt.

 

"Just the original six." Quinn filled in. "It was a train wreck. Worse than Tik-Tok."

 

"Nobody vomited," Kurt rolled his eyes. "It was just.... Ill timed."

 

"You spanked Finn." Puck pointed out.

 

"Once!"

 

"It was enough."

 

"I was joking!" Kurt snapped, crossing his arms and glaring.

 

"No." Finn said firmly. "Any other ideas?"

 

"Rolling in the Deep might be a good song..." Rachel considered.

 

Kurt tuned out, leaning against Sam.

 

"I'm sure you were awesome." Sam hummed in his ear. "And we should totally look into this spanking thing." 

 

"With Finn?" Kurt feigned naivety.

 

"Just us." Sam grinned, kissing Kurt's cheek. "Bet I could make you come." 

 

"You know, chances are," Kurt shot back, "That Coach Sylvester heard that."

 

"Let everybody know we have wild and kinky relations." Sam smirked, "We're the only people who share them with each other."

 

"So .... Spanking Finn is completely off the table?" He joked.

 

"Unless Rachel and Finn ask." Sam laughed. "Hey, I could make it a business. I could be a for-hire dominant."

 

"I'll keep that in mind." Rachel's quiet voice cut in, making the boys jump. "But we do need your input into the discussion, boys."

 

Sam glanced at the girl, taking Kurt's hand. "Sure."

 

"Good." Rachel smiled, and then leant in close enough that Kurt and Sam could both hear the words under her breath. "And start thinking of Safe Words."

 

Sam blinked, glancing at Kurt as Rachel pulled away. "What just....?"

 

"You've met Finn, and You've met Rachel."  Kurt shrugged, "Is this really a surprise?"

 

Sam considered in for a second, and then shook his had, giving Kurt's hand a soft squeeze.

 

"Now..." Kurt said, turning his attention to the group. "For the love of Prada, we're not singing Dancing Queen for the first dance!"

 

* * *

 

 

"Once again, Hummel, You've thwarted my efforts to destroy the Glee Club." Sue hummed, staring Kurt down across the table in her office. "You've left me in a very confusing position. On one hand, I'm proud that my tutelage had finally paid off, with a student who can go toe to toe with me. On the other.... I very much want to stop you all getting to Nationals."

 

"Coach, Sylvester, may I be frank?" Kurt asked, crossing his arms, and waiting for her nod. "You didn't teach me how to beat you. I learnt that from dealing with Noah, for many years. You and he are very alike."

 

"Take that back."

 

"You both thrive on attention, everything you do is to illicit some kind of reaction. Take that away, deprive you of the fear, and you'll jump from scheme to scheme until finally you completely and utterly tire yourself out."

 

Sue thought about it for a moment, steepling her fingertips. "A fair assessment."

 

"Thank you." Kurt said quietly, leaning back. 

 

Sue looked lost in thought for a moment, before she seemed to decide on something. "Next Year, you'll be head Cheerio, with either Quinn Fabray or Santana Lopez. You will serve as an intermediary between Cheerios and the Glee Club, as well as other sections of the school. You will not be slushied, locker checked, tossed in the dumpster to the best of my ability. And you will never be required to choose between the Cheerios and the Glee Club."

 

With her speech finished, she withdrew a large contract from under her desk, and slid it across the table to him, to look at. He considered it for a moment, before he looked up at Sue again. "What do you want in exchange."

 

"Well, as a lovely post-Nationals interview informed me? My current exclusive attitude to the Cheerios nearly cost me Nationals."

 

"What?"

 

"Apparently, bar yourself and Sandbags? My teams looking a little pale and ... 'hetero-normative.'" Sue exaggeratedly made quotation maqrks around the word. "So, next year, I want different Nationalities in the team, which should be easy enough, and some none-air combustible gays."

 

"You mean more manly gay boys." Kurt sighed, leaning back again. "What about Collins?"

 

"Please, he's not manly." Sue rolled her eyes."I caught him crying when his girlfriend, or boyfriend, or whatever dumped him."

 

"Coach Sylvester, Whilst I'm.... Somewhat glad you're asking this of me? The only other Gay boys I know are on the Football team, and the lesbians are already on this team."

 

"Which is why, you'll be opening McKinley High's first GSA, or PFLAG, or SOPA, or RSPCA, or Whatever ridiculous combination of letters you want." 

 

"Oh...." Kurt blinked. "So... That's it? You want me to open a LGBTQ group on school grounds, and scout out potential Cheerios, in exchange for protection and status?"

 

Sue nodded, pulling back the contract, and then dramatically sliding it back across the table towards him, watching him like a hawk.

 

"I... Need time to think about this." Kurt muttered, picking up the contract. "Prom... The night of Prom. I'll give you the answer then."

 

"See that you do." Sue nodded, before she smirked, "Oh, and Porcelain.... How would I beat you and your rag-tag team?"

 

Kurt grinned, rolling his eyes. "You can't. All we need is a stage and the music."

 

Sue visibly shrugged, pointing at the door. "Urgh, Go. Before you say anything else disgustingly inspirational."


	22. Prom Queen

**Prom Queen**

Kurt sighed, glancing around the room. "So... you are the people this would affect the most, and as such, I want your opinions on this before I move forward."

"Obviously it's some kind of trap." Santana said, folding her arms. "Coach Sylvester just wants you under her thumb."

"We've been through the contract." Sam said quietly, with Sebastian nodding beside him. "It is all really simple. Kurt has to stay in Glee and the Cheerios, and will never be put in a situation where he has to pick between them. Coach Sylvester promises to do her best to extend the same protection her Cheerio's possess to him. In exchange, all he has to do is create a LGBTQ group within the school, which Coach Sylvester will fund, and oversee, and everything, but have no control over beyond that. And she asks he be on the lookout for potential Cheerios to replace the group that'll be leaving."

"You mean, 90% of the useful members of the squad." Quinn muttered. "Face it, Me, Santana, Kurt... Hopefully Brittany, Collin Collins, Sally..."

"We get it, Quinn." Dave muttered, "So...What? What's the big deal about a ... I don't know what to call it."

"I'm thinking of calling it the McKinley High LGBTQ/I group." Kurt thought aloud. "Nice and inclusive."

"Hey, where's my S." Finn mock glared, "I'm feeling very opressed in my heterosexual corner."

"Shush Finn." Rachel said, patting his arm. "I for one, think it's a wonderful idea."

"Well, that sinched it." Santana said brightly. "This is a terrible idea. Right up there with Run, Joey, Run."

"My performance of Run, Joey, Run, was a film masterpiece." Rachel turned to glare at Santana.

"Satan! Hobbit! Shush." Sebastian mimed zipping his lips. "Look, I know I talk a big game about not needing other people, but I really think a group for people who are confused about their sexuality would be useful. For... For people like David, who could barely manage at the start of the week, with all those awful messages. Or for people who aren't ready to tell the world what they think they might be, but still need support."

Kurt nodded quietly. "Those are exactly the reasons I haven't turned this down out of hand."

"Okay, so, I'm for turning it down." Santana held up a hand. "Those in favour?"

Quinn, and Finn both held up a hand, Finn shrugging as Kurt stared at him. "Sorry, Dude, but Sue Sylvester is evil."

"Majority rules." Kurt sighed, "I hope you'll all continue to be a part of this though."

"Wouldn't miss it." Finn grinned, "You need some straight guys in there."

"I'll get Mike to come." Puck said, smirking. "Apparently, he likes the butt stuff anyway."

"So... Me, Sebastian, Sam, Puck, Mike, Finn.... David?" Kurt asked quietly. "You being there would really help some guys, you know?"

"Yeah... I'll... I can do it." Dave said quietly, blushing when Sebastian grinned proudly.

"Okay, girls?"

"I'll join." Brittany held up a hand.

"I'll be there, making sure that abstinence is treated with respect." Quinn joked, crossing her arms.

"Me." Rachel said, tilting her head. "As the child of two ga.... of two men, I believe I would be a good example of...."

"Santana?" Kurt asked, cutting Rachel off.

"... I don't know." Santana muttered, "I'll think about it."

"Great." Kurt grinned, clapping his hands. "And no, Rachel. You can't use the group as a staging point for your masterplan to enslave the student body into being out backup singers next year."

* * *

  
"Sam! Upstairs now!" Kurt yelled from behind his door.

"Why?" Sam yelled back from the couch, shrugging when Finn covered an ear an winced.

"I wanna show off my Prom Outfit, and you're not seeing it until the day, Mister!"

Sam spared an indulgent look towards the door, before he grabbed the bag of chips from Finn's lap and shot off upstairs. Finn waited a few seconds before he opened the door, and grinned. "He's gone."

"Good." Kurt grinned, "Now, We have my father figure, who will dissaprove of anything I wear, and a straight guy and a gay guy, So... Finn, Dave. Thoughts?"

"Where's the rest of it?" Burt grinned, as he switched the TV off.

"I admit it needs a little something more. Maybe a sash.... Oooh, or beads." Kurt muttered, glancing at his arms.

"I like it!" Finn said, grinning as he motioned for Kurt to twirl. "It's somewhere between Gay Braveheart...."

"Debatable if you need the gay there." Dave grinned, making Burt laugh.

"Gay Braveheart and ... Sound of music. Like... the uniform, but also the big flowing skirt." Finn nodded to himself, before he glanced around. "Did that make any sense to anyone else?"

"I understand. The suit looks slightly militarilistic, but also with a certain air of femininity." Kurt smiled warmly at his brother. "I did model it after a blending of both parties at the Royal Wedding."

"I don't like it." Burt said, putting his paper aside too now.

"Of course you don't like it. Because I haven't finished making it yet." Kurt snorted, "Now, I was thinking silver sash, straight across..."

"Look, Kurt, I'm not going to stop you from wearing it. But, I'm going to be honest, I just think you're trying to stir up the pot, you know?" Burt said calmly. "I think you're trying to get some attention."

"Exactly! What's the point of dressing up if you're not being noticed!" Kurt frowned, crossing his arms.

"Yeah, but Kurt... Dave's gonna be wearing a normal guy's tux. And I bet Sebastian and Sam will too." Burt frowned, "Why can't you just dress like a normal guy."

"Oh." Kurt said quietly, and Finn noticed a small glint of something in his eye fall dead. "I... Suppose you're right."

"Just... Some guys out there are going to be waiting for a reason to hurt you Kurt. And... I don't want you to give it them."

"I understand completely." Kurt smiled tightly. "I'll just go downstairs and rethink."

Burt glanced at the other boys, "Maybe you can come buy something with Finn and Sam, eh?"

"Maybe."

* * *

  
Finn sighed, as he climbed down the stairs into Kurt's bedroom. "You know he didn't mean it, Kurt."

"Finn, if there was ever a time I didn't want to see my dad's favourite child, it's now." Kurt snapped, as he threw a notepad into his bin, along with the kilt he had been wearing. "He made himself very clear. Why can't I be more like Finn? Or, failing that, David or Sam. Or even Sebastian. Why can't I be the kind of kid he wants to spend time with."

"Hey!" Finn said sharply, grabbing Kurt's hand as he grabbed a length of fabric that was the silver Kurt had mentioned would be for his sash. "He didn't say that."

"It's what he meant, Finn!" Kurt growled, yanking his hand away. "But no, I have to be the faggy son, who cheerleads, and wears kilts, and... Fuck!"

Finn shook his head, and without another word, grabbed Kurt around his waist, lifting him and dropping him on the bed. "You're not supposed to use that word, Kurt."

"I'm not a child you can put in time out, Finn!"

Finn glared for a moment, before he climbed onto the bed too, and wrapped his arms around Kurt. "Come here."

"Oh god, Finn! Not everything is solved by musicals and hugs. I need to start planning something suitably heterosexual so I don't embarrass Sam and my Dad at prom."

"You won't embarass anyone. You should wear what you want to wear. Kurt, you only get one prom."

"Technically, I'll have one next year."

"Kurt." Finn said sharply. "Imagine.... Imagine that Rachel wanted to wear this beautiful dress, right? But Santana had said it draws attention to her nose..."

"What kind of dress draws attention to someone's nose?"

"Kurt, go with me here." Finn muttered, "So, Rachel isn't going to wear this dress. But you know she looks good in it. What would you say?"

"I'd say to wear it. But there's a difference. Santana isn't Rachel's father."

Finn sighed, pulling Kurt in tighter for a hug. "You should wear the braveheart/royal wedding suit, Kurt. Your dad won't stop you."

"He'll just live with the humiliation of his only son being so ridiculously gay."

"He's worried you'll get bullied Kurt. I'll explain that me, Sam and Dave won't let anything happen, and you'll dance with Sam, and you'll come home, and have wild gay sex, whilst I go to Rachels, because I have no doubt that my bed will see use again, with or without me in it."

"... You...." Kurt sighed, finally relaxing into the hug. "You think I can do it?"

"Man, I know you can do it. And you'll look hotter than anyone else in the room. Except Rachel.... and... I feel like I'm supposed to say Quinn?"

"I get it." Kurt laughed, sighing. "I put a load of work into it."

"Well, why don't I sit here whilst you show me how you're going to make the sash?" Finn asked, extricating the Kilt from the bin as he moved to sit on the edge of his bed.

"You'd do that?"

"Dude, you're my little brother. If you want I'll sit here and give you the sex talk... Probably want to ask Dave and Sebastian more though." Finn grinned. "Now, how're you going to make the sash?"

* * *

  
"Okay, what the hell is he doing here."

Rachel glanced up from her drink she was sharing with Jesse to find a small group forming in front of hers and Mercedes' table. "Uh..."

"See, when I heard a rumor that St. James was back in town? I thought that he would be smart enough to stay the hell away from my girlfriend." Finn snapped, crossing his arms.

"Oh, you're dating?" Jesse smiled warmly at Rachel, making her blush, before he turned his attention to Finn. "She never mentioned it."

"Jesse was talking about how he never got a chance go to his own prom, because Vocal Adrenaline demanded a rehearsal that night." Rachel said quickly. "Kurt, you can imagine how awful that would be. So I..."

"Save it." Kurt held up a hand. "Now, I need to go pick up Sam from my house, but I swear to god. If I see any hands, in any innapropriate places tonight. Any lingering whispers, or looks? I'll hunt you down and cut off your hair."

"You can't threaten me." Jesse said, glaring. "I found out you did nothing to my car!"

"Who says I was threatening you." Kurt rolled his eyes. "You big child."

"Kurt..." Rachel said quietly.

"What was your rule! No falling in love with people who are obviously spies!"

"I'm not in love with him! I pity him." Rachel said quickly, before her words caught up with her.

"Whoa, harsh blow dude." Puck snorted, before he stepped forward. "Now, If you ruin prom for anyone? I'm going to give you another Harsh Blow. To the face."

Kurt grinned, slipping out un-noticed. He had a boyfriend to pick up.

* * *

  
"Whoa."

Kurt blushed under Sam's scruitiny. "You like?"

"Dude, it's so totally you." Sam grinned, smoothing his hands down on his pants. "Uh... I wasn't sure whether I should get you a coursage, or if you were getting me one because I'm technically the girl in this situation, so... Instead, I borrowed these from my dad."

Kurt glanced down at the silvery metal in Sam's hands. "Sam... These are silver bracelets."

"They were my mom and my dads for their prom. They decided they wanted something that wouldn't die a few days later, or wilt, so.... Silver bracelets."

Kurt gently picked up the smaller one, sliding it onto his wrist. "It fits...."

"Mine does too." Sam said quietly, slipping it on. "Is it okay? Is it too weird? I can go get a flower."

"No, no, this is... This is beautiful."

"They're ours now. Mom says that we should have something that's forever. She already has three children and the stretchmarks to remind her of her time with dad."

Kurt smiled warmly, reaching up and kissing Sam, wishing he had a proper tie on, so he could do a movie move and pull him forward by it. "We make quite the pair."

"The country boy, and the royal boy?" Sam said, stepping off his step, and linking his arm into Kurts. "I'm sure one day they'll write stories about us."

"Come on, I hear my boyfriends going to be singing tonight."

Sam grinned, rushing to open Kurt's door for him, and the passenger side door, before Burt stopped them.

"Sam.... You take good care of my son tonight, okay? He's... He's my light, and I can't stand the idea of anything happening to him."

"I will, Sir." Sam said quietly, shaking Burt's hand. "I promise, that nothing bad will happen to him tonight."

"Don't make no promises you can't keep." Burt huffed, "Now, shuffle in together, so I can get a picture. Carole got the ones of Finn and Rachel, and Finn and Quinn, but this is a guys one, okay?"

Kurt nodded, moving in beside Sam, and wrapping an arm around his waist. Sam glanced down at Kurt for a moment, and Kurt smiled. "I love you."

"I love you too."

The flash of the bulb startled them, and Kurt turned to glare at his dad. "You're supposed to count down!"

"Sorry! But it came out well. I'll take another though. One, Two..."

* * *

  
Kurt could barely remember how he had gotten here, the harsh light of the spotlight blinding him as he cuddled in beside Sam, hands froze in mid-clap for Finn's victory as Prom King.

"I repeat. The Prom Queen vote is split a perfect 50/50 between Mr. Kurt Hummel, and Mr. Sam Evans."

"Don't run." Sam said quickly snatching Kurt's hand. "That's what they want to see you do."

Kurt nodded mutely, as Sam lead him up the stairs to where Finn was stood frowning. "Sorry." He whispered to Finn, making Finn jump.

"No, dude, I'm just pissed they did this to you." Finn muttered, "You look amazing."

"Thank you." Kurt whispered, as Principle Figgins gently sat the tiara on his head, and handed the tiny sceptre to Sam, who clutched it as if it would become a light sabre, and he could go all horror movie on these people.

"Do any of you have any words."

Kurt stepped forward, head raised high. Looking out across the auditorium, he quickly clocked Sebastian and Dave, Rachel and the Glee Girls, and even Mike and Artie. "I...." He started, but couldn't find the words.

"Mr. Hummel?" Principle Figgins asked, quietly.

"I guess you were wrong, Brit-Brit. Guess I'm the one who's going to steal everyone elses dates." Kurt said, smiling at the girl, who gave a delighted laugh, and launched her way up the stage and hugged him tight, pulling him away from the microphone.

"I got something to say." Sam said, stepping into the gap. "I suppose this was supposed to humiliate me and Kurt. Make us think we're less than men, because we're gay? Guess what though? All you've done is make it so we both get to go home with the Prom Queen. And which straight guy here can ever say that now, huh? You could have voted for your girlfriends. Or for Quinn, who looks stunning, or Santana, who is just amazing. Heck, you could have voted for yourself, and gotten the awesome crown. Instead, you wasted your vote, on making me feel great. Thanks for that."

"And, I get to dance with the two hottest guys here." Finn smirked as he stepped up to the microphone.

"Hey!" Sebastian's voice came from the back of the hall.

"Fine, Two of the hottest guys." Finn rolled his eyes, making the glee club and several other people around the room laugh. "So... Thanks for making me Prom King!"

"And now for the awkward part." Kurt laughed, taking the microphone and turning to Principle Figgins. "It's only fair that we have two first dances. Each Prom Queen with the Prom King."

"Dude, three." Finn leaned in. "Prom Queens with each other. I'll sing for you two, you sing for me and Sam, and we can have the original song for the occasion."

"That is acceptable. Who will go first?" Principle Figgins grinned, gesturing to the floor.

"You and Sam. The Quarterbacks rush in." Kurt laughed, moving to the microphone.

**_(Kurt)_ **  
_Kiss me too fiercely_  
 _Hold me too tight_  
 _I need help believing_  
 _You're with me tonight_  
 _My wildest dreamings_  
 _Could not forsee_  
 _Lying beside you_  
 _With you wanting me_

_And just for this moment_  
 _As long as you're mine_  
 _I've lot all resistance_  
 _And crossed some borderline_  
 _And if it turnes out_  
 _It's over too fast_  
 _I'll make every last moment last_  
 _As long as you're mine_

_Maybe I'm brainless_  
 _Maybe I'm wise_  
 _But you've got me seeing_  
 _Through different eyes_  
 _Somehow I've fallen_  
 _Under your spell_  
 _And somehow I'm feeling_  
 _It's up that I fell_

_Every moment_  
 _As long as you're mine_  
 _I'll wake up my body_  
 _And make up for lost time_

_Say there's no future_  
 _For us as a pair_  
 _And though I may know_  
 _I don't care_  
 _Just for this moment_  
 _As long as you're mine_  
 _Come be how you want to_  
 _And see how bright we shine_  
 _Borrow the moonlight_  
 _Until it is through_  
 _And know I'll be here holding you_  
 _As long as you're mine_

Finn and Sam danced around the floor, and Kurt watched as Rachel mock glared at him across the crowd. miming a cut throat motion at him for stealing an Elpheba song from under her nose. When the Song came to an end, Finn moved up to the microphone, gesturing to the floor. Kurt stepped down on shaking legs, taking Sam's hands in his own.

"Hey."

"Hey." Kurt whispered back. "Not going to lie. Kind of terrified."

"About the Prom Queen thing?"

"More about what Finn is going to sing."

_(Finn)_  
 _Early morning, He wakes up_  
 _knock, knock, knock on the door._  
 _It's time for make-up, perfect smile,_  
 _It's you they're all waiting for_  
 _They go 'Isn't he lovely, this Hollywood boy?" And they say_

_He's so lucky, He's a star,_  
 _But he cry, cry, cries in his lonely heart think_  
 _If theres nothing missing in my life_  
 _Then why do these tears come at night_

_Lost in an image, in a dream_  
 _and there's no-one there to wake him up._  
 _And the world keeps spinning, and he keeps on winning_  
 _But tell me, what happens when it stops?_  
 _And they go 'Isn't he lovely, this Hollywood boy?"_  
 _And they say_

_He's so lucky, He's a star,_  
 _But he cry, cry, cries in his lonely heart think_  
 _If theres nothing missing in my life_  
 _Then why do these tears come at night_

_Isn't he lucky? This Hollywood boy._  
 _He is so lucky, but why does he cry?_  
 _If there is nothing missing in his life_  
 _Why do tears come and night_

_He's so lucky, He's a star,_  
 _But he cry, cry, cries in his lonely heart think_  
 _If theres nothing missing in my life_  
 _Then why do these tears come at night_

_He's so lucky, He's a star,_  
 _But he cry, cry, cries in his lonely heart think_  
 _If theres nothing missing in my life_  
 _Then why do these tears come at night_

Kurt smiled warmly at his brother as the song finished, his head resting on Sam's chest as they slowly rocked.

"He totally got you, didn't he?" Sam laughed quietly into Kurt's hair.

"Yeah. There were... problems earlier in the week. It's nice to know my brother gets me." Kurt smiled, pulling away. "And now, I get to dance with the Prom King."

"Always knew I'd be ditched." Sam sighed, pressing a soft kiss to Kurt's head, before handing him off to his brother.

"Hey, McKinley. We decided that the song we were going to sing? Wasn't really appropriate to convey the Glee Club's feelings right now. So.... here we go!" Puck smirked, as he stepped up to the microphone with Dave and Sebastian.

 

 

_Look inside_

  
_Look inside your tiny mind_  
 _Now look a bit harder_  
 _Cause we're so uninspired, so sick and tired of all the hatred you harbor_

_So you say_  
 _It's not okay to be gay_  
 _Well I think you're just evil_  
 _You're just some racist who can't tie my laces_  
 _Your point of view is medieval_

_Fuck you_  
 _Fuck you very, very much_  
 _Cause we hate what you do_  
 _And we hate your whole crew_  
 _So please don't stay in touch_

_Fuck you_  
 _Fuck you very, very much_  
 _Cause your words don't translate_  
 _And it's getting quite late_  
 _So please don't stay in touch_

_Do you get_  
 _Do you get a little kick out of being slow minded?_  
 _You want to be like your father_  
 _It's approval you're after_  
 _Well that's not how you find it_

_Do you_  
 _Do you really enjoy living a life that's so hateful?_  
 _Cause there's a hole where your soul should be_  
 _Your losing control of it and it's really distasteful_

_Fuck you_  
 _Fuck you very, very much_  
 _Cause we hate what you do_  
 _And we hate your whole crew_  
 _So please don't stay in touch_

_Fuck you_  
 _Fuck you very, very much_  
 _Cause your words don't translate and it's getting quite late_  
 _So please don't stay in touch_

_Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you,_  
 _Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you,_  
 _Fuck you_

_You say, you think we need to go to war_  
 _Well you're already in one,_  
 _Cause its people like you_  
 _That need to get slew_  
 _No one wants your opinion_

_Fuck you_  
 _Fuck you very, very much_  
 _Cause we hate what you do_  
 _And we hate your whole crew_  
 _So please don't stay in touch_

_Fuck you_  
 _Fuck you very, very much_  
 _Cause your words don't translate and it's getting quite late_  
 _So please don't stay in touch_

_Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you_  
 _Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you_  


	23. New York

_(I'm going to be completely honest. I'm not in a place where I can confront the re-write of the Funeral episode. So, a quick low down of what happened. Kurt and Sam had sex after prom, as did Dave and Sebastian. When they found out about Jean's death, Sam comforted Kurt, and they talked about his mother. Dave tells Sebastian that he's ready to stop running, that they need to live for today, and that after Nationals, win or lose, Dave wants Sebastian to stay at McKinley with him. During the Jesse St.James Storyline, he tries to get them to compete for solos, and Kurt and Rachel have a huge argument about who should compete. Kurt wants to because of the way he performed at Regionals, and the fact he already has a song ready, and Rachel says that he's become a tyrant. They part ways deciding not to talk until after the competition. After the funeral, Finn doesn't confront Quinn, instead he confronts Jesse and they get into a yelling match back at the school. Jesse tells Finn that he's going to ruin his life, and win Rachel back.)_

 

  
** New York **   


 

 

"I hopped off the plane at LAX..." Tina started, only to be shushed by Sunshine and Rachel.

"Wrong State, T." Kurt leaned over his seat to grin at her. "But nice attempt."

"Guys, we're supposed to be on vocal lockdown." Rachel hissed, with Sunshine nodding her head insistently.

"I hope your voice atrophies and falls out of your throat." Kurt looked the girl up and down with a sneer, before turning back to Sam. "Hey."

"Hey. You looking forward to your song?" Sam grinned, glancing up from some sheet music.

"Yep. What're you reading?"

"Nothing...." Sam tried, smiling innocently. Kurt stared at his for a long moment, and Sam could feel his resolve cracking. "Okay, so, you know me and Finn sang that Relient K song for our Duets competition? And Dave, Puck and Sebby...."

"I said next person who called me that would be murdered." Sebastian grumbled lifting his sleep mask. "Don't make me come over there."

"Sebastian." Sam ammended, "Sang one at Prom. So... I thought it might be an idea to look over the sheet music to a few songs, try and work out what we like so we can adapt it to our songs, you know?"

"My boyfriends so smart." Kurt hummed, resting his head on Sam's shoulder.

"My boyfriend is amazing."

"We still want two songs." Dave grumbled, "Don't go thinking we're out of the woods yet."

"How about... Uh.... New York.... New York...." Finn started, frowning at the paper in his hand as he jotted down notes

"She's one hell of a town?" Mike offered with a short laugh, "Already a song, dude."

"I for one, think we shouldn't focus on the city we are in, and more the emotional undercurrent we are feeling." Rachel's voice came from behind them, making Kurt roll his eyes.

"It was too much to hope the Vocal Rest would last until we landed, wasn't it?" He asked Sam.

"Dude, you two need to make up." Puck grumbled, leaning over the seat in front of Kurt, and glaring at the two Divas. "Kurt can have his solo, and if you write a good duet, you can duet with Sunshine, or Finn, or whoever Rachel, which is what you do best. And we'll deal with the group number."

"Kurt can 'have' his solo?" Kurt said coldly, his eyes suddenly glittering coldly. "You think I just 'Have' anything I want, Puck? I've been working for months on perfecting it. I've rearranged the music repeatedly, altered lyrics, all whilst continuing with my studies. I am not Rachel. I don't simply get handed things, I work for them."

"Kurt, I didn't mean..."

"Save it." Kurt snapped, climbing out of his seat. "I'm going to the bathroom."

* * *

  
"You're seriously going to be pissed off at them all for the entire trip?" Sam asked, kicking his legs on the end of the bed.

"That would be why I sprang the ridiculous amount for my own room." Kurt hummed, as he set out his moisteurisers. "Also, I was not sharing a room with David, Jesse, Sebastian, Mike, Artie, Puck AND Finn. Finn's bad enough on his own. I don't need six more."

"I'm sure that's supposed to be a compliment somehow." Sam muttered to himself, collapsing back onto the bed. "So you could share a room with me?"

"I would share all my rooms with you." Kurt said quietly, turning to look at Sam. "In fact, you'll find that I kind of do."

"Now if we can just convince your dad we can be trusted to be with each other every night without tearing off our clothes...."

"We could always have Finn find us in the car, and then complain that's the only place we can do it. See which wins out, public decency, or the bedroom rules."

Sam laughed, standing up and kissing Kurt.

Kurt sighed into the kiss, letting Sam turn them so he was on top of Kurt on the bed.

And that was when the door bust open.

"Knew it." Mr. Shuester sighed. "Sorry guys, but rules are rules."

"We were just making out!" Sam whined, and Kurt glared.

"I know for a fact that Rachel and Finn have done worse than this before a show!" He snapped.

"I'm your chaperone. And I don't think you two can be trusted in a room together. Now, I'll be nice, and let you pick whether you get Dave or Sebastian in here, with you, Mike, and Finn."

Kurt sighed, resting his head on the bed. "Sebastian, so I can complain about how unfair life is to someone who'll listen."

"Have fun with that. Sam, grab your suitcase."

Sam rolled his eyes, grabbing his suitcase from the floor and kissing Kurt's cheek. "I love you."

"I love you too." Kurt grumbled, putting his moisteurisers away again in an overnight bag, and instead setting up a music stand with his sheet music. "Now, is it okay for me to practice the song I actually prepared Mr. Shuester?"

"Go ahead." Mr. Shue gestured, "I'll bring you four some pizza in later. Try and give the boys a hand."

Kurt frowned, gesturing for Sam to go. "Why should I bother, Mr. Shuester. I fought tooth and nail for this solo, I put up with Jesse St.James ridiculous criticism last week, I've run this through a hundred revisions to make it as perfect as possible. And people are complaining that I was just handed it."

"Kurt... They've only heard it once last week. And I assume Sam has heard it more? For all they know, you just pulled this out of that folder and announced you were going to sing it." Mr. Shuester shrugged, "You got given a wonderful gift with these songs, and there's a lot of pressure on you to pull this off, I know. But... The guys need you."

Kurt sighed, setting up his music stand, and slipping on some headphones, giving Mr. Shuester a terse smile.

"I'm high above the city...."

Kurt barely got to the end of that line before the boys came barelling in, destroying his concentration. Sighing, he slipped the earphones off, and grabbing a towel, locked himself in the bathroom.

  
* * *

  
"So, you sang on the stage with Rachel?" Sam asked, happily. "And that made you work it out?" Kurt nodded, "That's totally awesome!"

"That's not the best part! I worked with Rachel and Finn and we booked a recording studio, and put together the entire music for their duet!" Kurt grinned, clapping his hands, and showing Sam the harddrive. "This little baby here, is our ticket to Nationals. No worrying about the orchestra messing up, or anything like that."

"Snap." Sam grinned, holding up a second flashdrive. "We did the same for the group number."

"We're totally ready." Kurt nodded, resting his head on Sam's shoulder, as they watched the movie, listening to Finn in the shower, as he gave them some alone-couple time. "In fact, we should give these to Jesse now, so that we're ready for tomorrow."

"That's a good idea." Sam nodded, taking Kurt's hard-drive. "I'll run and do it now, and then we can go for a meal."

"You, me, and the 13 other members of New Directions." Kurt sighed, "I thought this would be a romantic get away."

"I thought it would be too. But we can be romantic after we win Nationals." Sam grinned, nudging Kurt's foot with his own. "So, where are we going to eat?"

"Well, since you stole the only movie reference I really get about New York and romanticism. I suggest this little italian place...."

* * *

  
Mr. Shuester grinned as Kurt took his spot midstage in the darkness. "Okay, Cue the lights and music."

"What music?" The tech guy asked, frowning. "Your assistant said that you were accapella."

"What?" Mr. Shuester blinked, "There must be a mistake."

"No, the guy with the scary intense eyes, and the weird half curly hair. Jesse St.James?" The tech guy frowned, "Look, go something gone wrong here. But this is your only slot. So I suggest you do something."

"What're we supposed to do? We don't have time to go back to the hotel for new music, and Kurt's already out there on stage!" Finn snapped, "I told you! I told you all that Jesse would screw this up for us, but No. No-one would believe me."

"It... It doesn't matter Finn. We've lost." Rachel said quietly, taking his hand. "We're not an accapella group, and we don't have any sheet music for the orchestra."

Sam frowned, glancing at the door. "We do have enough for something though."

"What?"

"The music I was looking at on the plane. It's not perfect, and it's not original, but it's our only shot. Dave, go grab my bag. Rachel, Puck, Finn, everyone else.... Come in when you feel right." Sam said quickly, as he took a place in the wings. "Dave, try and learn the vocals to the first folder. We'll need music stands." Sam gestured to the tech guy who nodded, and said something into a small microphone. "Look, chances are? We aren't going to win. But we're going to show Jesse St.James that he can't beat us by taking our music. We will persevere."

"Sam's right. Guys follow his lead." Will gestured. "What instruments will we need?"

"Two guitars for me and Puck, and a drum set for Finn." Sam said quickly.

"There's a drumset behind your backdrop. We'll lift that after this guy's song." The Tech guy nodded, "Guitars will be there too. But you need to go now."

"Then.... Lights up!" Sam laughed shortly, sharing a quick look with Finn before the lights came up and Kurt's voice sang out into the audience.

 

* * *

  
"Well... It wasn't terrible." Kurt sighed, glancing around. "It wasn't great, but at least we put on a good show."

Sam sighed, collapsing on the bed. "The judges commended us for putting on such a great performance in a few minutes. They said that they'd let everybody know about Jesse's antics, and that we would receive a special mention."

Kurt climbed onto the bed. "Fuck what Mr. Shuester said. You're sleeping here tonight."

"Room for two more?" Dave said, opening the door. "Me and Sebastian want to get our cuddle on."

"Come in." Kurt grinned, "The other bed is free."

The two couples curled into a ball in the other bed, and Kurt almost laughed when he saw Sebastian curl into Dave's arms, letting himself be held tight.

"You know.... We still got to Nationals. And we'll only do better next year." Sam said quietly into the dark room.

"I say we say no to original songs next year." Dave grumbled, "If we had picked well known songs, we could've just carried the music with us."

"Or, we become a completely Accapella group." Sebastian suggested, "The Warblers...."

"I will kill you." Kurt grumbled, and then yawned, "Tomorrow. I'll kill you tomorrow."

"You know, I'm glad I got to come here with you." Sam said, glancing around. "I want to come back here some day."

"Well, I will be going to college here. So, you'll have to follow me."

"You two need to be quiet so I can sleep." Sebastian grumbled. "Stupid lovebirds."

"We love you too." Kurt laughed, cuddling back into Sam.

"Hey, guys, you all still awake?" Puck's voice broke from the otherside of the door.

Kurt rolled his eyes and climbed out of bed, opening the door. Immediately he was barrelled out of the way, as the Glee Club forced there way in, including Mike and Finn literally carrying Kurt to the bed. "Okay, this is going the way of a really kinky nightmare." Kurt grumbled, as they set him down on his bed. "What's..."

"We wanted to congratulate you on your song." Finn said, grinning. "It was amazing dude."

"You didn't hear it properly. There was no music, and...."

Rachel cut in. "You made it fit your voice perfectly. It didn't even need the music in the end. So... New Glee Club tradition, remember? MVP."

"But we're torn." Mike said, frowning. "Because your song was amazing, but Sam really stepped up back there in the wings. He got the rest of the show together with seconds to spare."

"So.... You're sharing it." Santana grinned, handing them the trophy. "Congratulations."

Kurt and Sam stared at the piece of metal on the end of the bed, for a long time. It seemed to stare back at them.

"Next year. We Win." Kurt said, his voice quiet. "We win Sectionals, then Regionals, Then Nationals."

"Oh, you don't have to tell us." Rachel laughed, "I'm telling you now. We will not be writing songs the night before.... You know what? Champagne!" She clapped her hands, laughing when Puck pulled a few bottles out, and Sunshine held up a tray of glasses. "Time to let you all in on a Berry-Hummel-Puckerman tradition. Everyone get a glass, and we're going to say what we do differently next year to win where we lost."

"Don't let outside people trick us into relying on them." Finn said immediately, swallowing down his glass.

"Don't let ourselves upset each other over Solos. And support one another." Kurt swallowed his down easily smiling at Rachel.

"Be happy for our friends and there achievements." Rachel said quietly, draining her glass.

"Be open enough to ask the girl I love to prom." Santana said quietly, "I know it isn't Nationals related, but...."

"It's alright, just anything you think you need to change." Puck said warmly. "I'm gonna work out, after all these years, how to actually pick the right words when I'm speaking to my Girls."

"Don't take a backseat. I'm a beautiful, smart, funny girl, and I will find love of my own." Quinn said, holding her head up, linking hands with Santana for a moment. "Also, a haircut."

"Learn how to force my boyfriend to talk to his best friends when they're fighting." Sunshine laughed draining her glass.

"I won't get lost in the sewers this year." Brittany nodded.

"We will try to be more inclusive with our friendships, instead of being wrapped up in each other. " Mike answered for both him and Tina, draining their glasses in unison.

"I will stay." Sebastian said simply. "Here. With David."

"I won't be so terrified of what people think about me." Dave nodded, sipping his glass, and making a gagging noise. "That's awful!"

"You've had dick in your mouth, can't be that bad." Santana snorted, setting Quinn off.

"Anyone else?" Kurt gestured around the room. "Okay. Then I say we have a slumber party. Guys have this room to get changed into something attractive, Girls have theirs, and then, we'll play us some party games, before we all crash on the beds and have to be dragged to the airport."

Sam watched them all file out to grab their cothes, leaning into Kurt. "You know.... I'm so glad I found you this year."

"I'm glad you found me. And kept me." Kurt said quietly. "You're the only thing I'll never do differently."

Sam sighed, resting his head on Kurt's chest.

"I love you."

 


	24. Song List

**Chapter Three:**

 

I Don't Want To Be - Gavin DeGraw - Sam

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gFCW3PHBws>

Slipping - Neil Patrick Harris - Sam

 

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RidsxnnVTR4>

**Chapter Four:**

I Wanna Go - Britney Spears - Kurt

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-sxSd1uwoU>

Circus - Britney Spears - Kurt & Brittany

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVhJ_A8XUgc>

 

**Chapter Six:**  
What Is This Feeling - Kristen Chenoweth  & Idina Menzel - Rachel & Kurt

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFa0E_GwJ30>

Out Tonight - Rent - Rachel Berry & Mercedes Jones

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIgsSzx_BG4>

Chap Stick, Chapped Lips and Things Like Chemistry - Relient K - Sam Evans & Finn Hudson

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uegMfSxsvpA>

I love Rock and Roll - Britney Spears - Tina Cohen-Chang & Quinn Fabray

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITuOddPeYoc>

Shut up and Let me Go - The TingTings - Brittany Pierce & Mike Chang

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tolm-07if3c>

 

**Chapter Seven:**

Keeps Gettin' Better - Christina Aguilera - Kurt Hummel & Santana Lopez

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkPxgUshpec>

If We Ever Meet Again - Timbaland with Katy Pery - Noah Puckerman & Sunshine Corozan

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDKva-s_khY>

 

**Chapter Eight**

Suddenly I See - KT Tunstall - Sam Evans

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9AEoUa0Hlso>

Waking up in Vegas - Katy Pery - Sunshine Corozan

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-pUaogoX5o>

Sometimes - Britney Spears - Kurt Hummel

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0bPrt69rag>

 

**Chapter Nine**  
I'll Make A Man Out of You - Rocky Horror - Kurt Hummel

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6U4QVCowisY>

 

**Chapter Ten**  
Tommie Sunshine's Megasix Smash-up - Katy Perry - Kurt Hummel, Finn Hudson, Sam Evans, Noah Puckerman, Mike Chang, Artie Abrams.

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbppJusWws0>

 

**Chapter Eleven**

Haven't Met You Yet - Micheal Buble - Sebastian Smythe

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1AJmKkU5POA>

 

**Chapter Thirteen**

Perfect Day - Hoku - Kurt Hummel

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84odSvKFrkY>

 

**Chapter Fourteen**

God Don't Make No Trash - Bare - Mercedes Jones

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NaOtlGj67hA>

An Old Fasioned Wedding - Annie Get Your Gun - Kurt Hummel and Sam Evans

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wlnlrd1x4yA>

Finale B - Rent - New Directions

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcZ3JtMqrnU>

 

**Chapter Fifteen**

My First Kiss - 3OH!3 - New Directions

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AYC2FUutdKA>

 

**Chapter Sixteen**

Beauty and The Beast - Beauty and The Beast - Kurt Hummel

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBg3SZTU_Nk>

Without Love - Hairspray - Sebastian Smythe

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WsAcsX_tcsA>

 

**Chapter Seventeen**

  
No Light, No Light - Florence + The Machine - Kurt Hummel

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ATfUdaZQLMA>

Love Game - Lady Gaga - Santana Lopez

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mB0tP1I-14>

Queen of The Scene - Hot Chelle Rae- Kurt Hummel

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WD3qsoJeEik>

Alright - Hot Chelle Rae- Sam Evans

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YvOjK-5hVUQ>

Without You - Rent - Kurt Hummel

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gi6Ukpq8H7k>

 

**Chapter Nineteen**

Original - Smash - Kurt Hummel

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=us_ps617hBg>

 

**Chapter Twenty One**

Who do you love, I hope - Annie Get Your Gun - Sam Evans & Kurt Hummel

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAEpMdUhrs0>

 

**Chapter Twenty Two**

As long as you're mine - Wicked - Kurt Hummel

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4tWBetHvsA>

Lucky - Britney Spears - Finn Hudson

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vvBAONkYwI>

Fuck you - Lily Allen - Noah Puckerman, Sebastian Smyth, David Karofsky

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rl8avTLMK_Y>

 

**Chapter Twenty Three**

Broadway, Here I come! Tony Awards Version - Smash Cast - Kurt Hummel and New Directions

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCU1PCqSDDg>

Which to Bury, Us or The Hatchet - Relient K - David Karofsky, Sam Evans, Finn Hudson, Noah Puckerman

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qV_EH2WiRBw>

Pressing on - Relient K - New Directions

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGb7_X7HuV0>


End file.
